just a little cottage pictures break. i hope you are prepared for one of my shittiest stories ever all the way from grade 8? 7? probably grade 8. yeah right i wrote it yesterday hahaha. anyway, this bona fide piece of crap is called THE HUNTER AND RAINBOW WOMAN!
kids used to pay me a dollar to draw those block letters for them, yes, kids with even shittier more hopeless penmanship than that. i also fancied it up sometimes graffiti style.
evidence this garbage was totally created by me, my old signature.
you know i consider myself super smart on account of the pompous and unnecessary use of capable. i guess it paid off cos they did make me valedictorian.
and here’s our duck with arrow, clearly CAPABLE of flying.
retard, you only brought one special arrow to the forest?
i know i much preferred to use the F word here.
yeah makes total sense.
TO STUFF HIM UP HER VAGINA!
nice hair.
oh god two more pages to go.
does this guy not have a fucking compass or possess any navigational skills whatsoever??
this is the part when whatever quality or effort put into these drawings totally disappears. HAHAHA what the fuck is that a piece of shit with legs?
also, the plot gets a little confusing.
followed by another fantastic drawing.
blah blah blah basically dude runs on ahead like a coward, rainbow slut catches up, the giant woman is making “woomp” noises in close pursuit.
for some reason this guy’s outfit is now brown, i forgot to point that out from the first drawing of him.
rainbow woman’s outfit changes constantly too, hello continuity? i like her slutty lipstick though.
WHAAAT!? remember i warned you about the plot.
total trap alright, so ahead of my time. look how different the hunter looks now, becoming a father turned him square, and what kind of trap did she set, a bear trap? i’m obviously alluding to her seducing him, what a sexist dick i am.
then the plot turns maury povich, our hunter pulls a runner.
aw sniff. i forgot to colour her lips.
sucker. you can tell this drivel is religiously influenced.
get a life lady!
oh man SO didn’t see this one coming.
this is the worst story ever.
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
wow i must have drawn this a minute before handing it in.
jesus, stay tuned for this one.
had to bring in the fern, stupid windy out.
thanks to the little mexican i had to lock it in the bathroom. it has since been put back outside. fil is home sick today. JOGGING PANTS PARTY!
so steve martin’s book i am digging the shit out of. way inspiring. there’s just so much about the guy i never knew before, he’s a genius. he worked at disneyland as a kid when it first opened in anaheim, he said it was his versailles. can you imagine being immersed in that kitschy vintage world every single day? it made me weepy to read that chapter, i have never been to disneyland, nor world. i didn’t even go to canada’s wonderland til i was 15, what the fuck right? he hung out with some truly colourful people in his twenties, beatnik hippie types. he smoked pot, went to a theatre and suffered a major anxiety attack that lasted two decades, and pretty much saved him from ever doing blow. it’s calming to read about this anxiety in a sense for me right now as i am currently going through the same shit. he hid his anxiety all those years too.
“When I think of the moments of elation I have experienced over some of my successes, I am astounded at the number of times they have been accompanied by elation’s hellish opposite.”
i also really liked shop girl, both movie and book, anyway, i’m 2/3 through born standing up and i think you would also like it.
ps. mr. martin i understand you’re an art collecting fiend, buy one of my paintings!
have to do this up in installments because i am too busy mourning the loss of the weekend and require 5 solid minutes to stare longingly at each picture taken (all 500 of them) and possibly compose a sonnet for each one. the set is here and will be added to.
i am SUPER into this game. it took a lot of explanation from sass i had no idea what i was doing for the first round, she basically played for me and i beat her. the next day we played twice and i beat her both times. ALL BY MYSELF. i am going to try and find this game at toys ‘r us.
pre-teen picture puzzle! we did not tackle this guy. i think it’s called pre-teen picture puzzle (featured at a cottage) cos pre-teenagehood is the only time you can drag the kids up before they are moody pieces of ungrateful shit, only once the teenage years are over do those guys GET IT.
we brought our own cook.
DEAR IT’S 50 O’CLOCK! ha DEER i just noticed that.
i made an investigation video of what’s behind the newspaper from 1970, you will have to wait and see. dave in all his life never peeked behind there, that’s a job for nosy city folk.
stefani/harajuku practice. sass has to learn to be silent. derno if it’s gonna happen.
could i look less like gwen here?
i was really into how into his dog this guy is, i hope he got a good paycheck out of this shoot cos i’m sold. even that dog brought his A-game.
creepy checkers, pass.
i seriously think this is a body pillow.
swooooon.
this game was only a teeny bit racist, not a lot, only a little, and just the right amount.
pink sparkly, makes sense.
we were a little cold waiting for dave to get back to start a man fire, didn’t want to go ahead and do it ourselves in case the flue was closed.
man fire! i was into making fires later on, paper fires!
one of my many talents is pretending to play the guitar for photographs, i’m pretty decent at it.
oh wiley you bring out the blue in my eyes.
sass’ crap letters, thanks for the vowel lesson.
my crap letters, “NOWQNF_ lets turn this into a drinking game.” raymi said, and so it was. 1 drink for every tile your opponent puts down.
tons of layers.
poison? oh man wait til you see the pics of fil in my wig.
super flattering kitchen lighting.
guess what, it is possible to be sentimental over kitchen chair cushions, recognize this mom/dad?
hahaha so international, do they mean slutty russian? and if it’s flame retardant why does it reek of gasoline?
before i put mine up i’m going to rip some from dave. you can see the rest of his in that set.
an epic performance, too bad you missed it.
haha old lady walking sticks and gloves.
i didn’t have to do any work, we didn’t give’r cos we wanted to keep pace with dave whom had his dogs with him, threatening a boat tippage every which way. i asked fil if he was doing all the paddling just so he could say he did all the paddling. he said no but sure enough left a flickr note on this picture about it anyway. groan. ps. i DID some paddling on the way back mostly cos i was hungry and wanted beer.
i laid on that rock for a good few while dave and fil nerded out on this island.
thanks dave for an amazing time you are the kindest no-bullshitest dude ever.
oh look it’s me on the tiniest bench ever. derlicte, sorry you didn’t book it.
if you are feeling old you should go to tea, instantly you will feel like a young little babe.
chanterelle & cave aged gruyere quiche, only the best quiche i’ve ever crammed in my maw, EVER. if i could jump over a tree to prove it i would. the salad was so good too. this took me less than a few minutes to inhale.
dooooooood.
my aunt, her face is partially covered by the tiered stand so we took another, i like how i looked in this so didn’t want to waste it.
better.
can you imagine this being the first meal of the day? for me it was. lobster, guac, sour cream? and caviar. PUMPED.
the majority of these fingered foods had involved seafood, the old ladies beside us left theirs untouched. allergies? not to be mixed with old lady meds?
dungeness crab and wasabi finger sandwich, mellowed out wasabi, pretty good.
we used our forks and knives to cut these up to stretch it out, amusing.
i’m a little hesitant on the foie gras, not only cos it seems a bit cruel, but knowing what it is, how infrequently i eat it, and the texture and flavour, the richness. you definitely have to be in a foie gras state of mind/mood to deal.
my aunt said, “ok now we’ve died and gone to heaven.” after eating hers.
when we ate at the royal york’s fancy restaurant epic, a shot of foie gras was sent over to us (w/ mango basil vodka) and that was my first foie gras experience. good thing i was already bombed on wine. that post can be found here.
the view from every window is excellent, and that is liza’s garden, currently under construction (bad drainage or something).
“as glimpsed through the south-facing windows of c5, work is now underway on the Elizabeth Samuel Garden or, as she wanted it known, “liza’s Garden.” Basically some rich woman who was chair of the board of trustees and founding member of the board of governers blah blah…continued the samuel family’s century of extraordinary generosity to the museum.
Afternoon tea is $25 plus taxes and gratuities; $35 including a glass of Henry of Pelham Cuvée Catherine sparkling wine. we stuck with the tea.
now for tier two.
green tea sponge with butter cream icing cake, sponge, semantics whatever.
hella fragrant on the green tea, subtle taste all around, a great tea cake oh my god i’m a grandma.
honey pink peppercorn madelines. madelines, cutest name for a sweet ever.
earl grey espresso cake thing, we chose earl grey for tea as well so this complimented the shit out of that.
scone o’clock.
that clotted cream is obscenely good, dangerous.
and that concludes my afternoon tea review. would i go again, yes absolutely. i want to go back to try the evening menu and i noticed they also have a prix fixe for 35 bones.
The (ROM) is pleased to introduce Afternoon Tea at c5 Restaurant Lounge, a chic fine dining destination crowning the Michael Lee- Chin Crystal. From Thursday through Saturday, 3:00 to 5:00pm, the restaurant offers a fresh approach to the classic tea service with a creative three-course menu served on contemporary Wedgwood fine china. Afternoon Tea at c5 is inspired by Wedgwood: Artistry and Innovation, an exhibition currently on display in the Samuel European Galleries until July 5, 2009.
Afternoon Tea at c5 begins with a worldly sampling of plated savouries, such as chanterelle & cave aged gruyere quiche. The next course features an array of savoury sandwiches, including dungeness crab and wasabi finger sandwiches and duck confit & citrus cured foie gras profiterole. The third course features delicate sweets such as green tea sponge with butter cream icing and honey pink peppercorn madelines. A selection of seasonal fruit scones with clotted cream and homemade preserves complement the meal. The second and third courses arrive elegantly displayed on a tiered stand featuring 2008 Wedgwood designer china with patterns created by renowned designers such as Jasper Conran, Kelly Hoppen and Vera Wang.
i LOVE halloween because i finally broke down fil and we chose that as our anniversary four years ago (though technically were together before that) and you know how much i love fall, so the entire season is just magic to me. i love dressing up, i love visiting costume stores, crinkly leaves chilly air red cheeks and my handsome bf CHEESE EXPLOSION. so without further ado, our visit to malabar today pictures – this year i have decided not to leave it all to the very last minute to smear red paint on my neck and wear an old french maid costume, what am i? i dunno, what the fuck are you?
siiiiigh. how much does his death and halloween costume remind you of the crow and brandon lee?
overheard, “omg that mask like totally reminds me of that nicole kidman movie.”
i strongly considered wonder woman.
creepy, why are clowns so goddamn unappealing? i went to a friend’s birthday party when i was four and they had two clowns and they scared the shit out of me, but i was too shy a kid at the time to speak up about it. i seriously almost wet myself. they were directing us during a relay race slash obstacle course involving balloons and hula hoops, i remember this one girl nervously said upon it being her turn to cross the gauntlet of crappy activities, “ok, i’ll go as long as he doesn’t touch me.” referring to the dude clown who was helping some of the younger slower kids waddle with balloons squeezed between their legs. AHHA my thoughts exactly. poor stupid clowns. for future reference, don’t waste money on a party clown, just get a teenager to help out, your kids will go gaga for a cool youth to hang around their b-day bash, slip the teen a twenty, easy peasy.
hey look it’s a sarah palin costume! now all you need is a flute and to be dropped on your head and voila, useless fucking idiot extraordinaire.
