keep me in my plane – whomadewho from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

you can develop allergies right? i don’t remember having them as a kid. when i ride my bike my eyes trickle and stream. even when i walk i discovered yesterday and it so suuuuucks. i have to leave home extra early so i can peddle at my leisure so as to not induce niagara falls out of my sockets but then i end up beating it thru the ciy as fast as possible anyway cos i have no concept of time and the OMG I’M LATE hits me. then i arrive on time with garth algar hair. speaking of hair i am so having my roots done next week and platinuming it up. heidi montag here i come. (holy shit isn’t she insane!?)

here i am as david hasselhoff. roomies brought home a person from four different bands wednesday nite after their sets. post work i am kind of a cunt but i indulged these kids for a little while. kids on mdma in my home at 3 in the morning talking about music (boringest shit ever for me personally) grinding their jaws. funny and irritating. they were super sweet though, very nice kids.

there are so many barky bitches in my life lately i’m kinda really sick of it. i’m at a point now where i have zero tolerance and patience for shit attitudes. i hustle my ass off, have very limited free time, it feels like EVERYONE is fucking angry at me always i feel like i am this close to snapping. i do a good job being polite and tolerant and abiding by the code of friendliness and manners but some people just like to push and push you right to the edge. when someone pisses me off my response is something along the lines of i have no time for this, sorry. complain elsewhere. i’m just trying to get through my fucking life right now. respect that, don’t take it so personally.

discovered an empty queen west patio yesterday and was given red carpet treatment. such a good hang. a place you wouldn’t think to go to, but you should. i am apprehensive of sharing cos i want to keep it to myself i know it’ll get flooded but oh well they were good to me so i must oblige and do a plug. next post.

i did. now what for ’10?

talent not capitalized on makes me severely irritated. i dunno why some art students rigidly keep their craft to themselves. makes no sense. i didn’t go to art school, i am not an amazing artist, but i made myself a small fortune from my art. it’s marketing, guys. just do it. why go to school for years to not make a living doing what you love? i’m going to start painting again and have another show.

Ignorant and mad young, wanted to be the one.

here’s why i’m always kinda sorta late.

check out my aunt‘s moving sale tomorrow and sunday, 93 Spadina Road just north of bloor on the east side. i’ll be there at some point in the afternoon depending how hung i am and how early i can get myself into bed. she’s selling art, books, clothes, futon, knick knacks, some chairs etc etc.

MOVING MADNESS SALE

at the Coach House behind
93 Spadina Road
(just north of Bloor Street)

TGIF see you at the central tonite my friends.

Haikus i wrote at 19

somedays i just want
to sleep to drink and to fuck
my whole life away

yep pretty on track there

the clever ones they
are the ones who are the most
depressed and lonely

you know today i
put together a bright red
charcoal barbeque

today was sunday
and it was quite a grey day
and it fucking rained

not really tired
maybe i’m just a bit fucked
neurotic, more like

dark circles under
my eyes constantly though i
don’t do heroin

whaaaaaat??

somedays i just want
to never be sad again
or a bit crazy

hey come on now jesus

sundays make me sad
like the day with no people
no one to talk to

oh please

one day i’ll buy a
big limousine and i’ll drive
you just anyplace

well at least i end it on a somewhat positive note.

left my bike at work last nite. going to amble my ass criss-cross the city to go and collect it. my kinda day.

A Concerned Torontonian

Your blog is the most self-absorbed, mindless, sad piece of drivel I have ever encountered. Or maybe it’s just a brilliant joke about how absolutely pathetic women like you are! If that’s case, well done. It’s actually deadening to look at all this crap. And for the record, you have the worst style ever.

i’m sorry, the number you have dialed is not in service. this is a recording. please hang up and try your call again.

i cannot believe this dress fits me. geez louise o’gosh is like a size zero. less than that even. my make-up is fucked from biking over i am so sick of pollen explosion every time i ride my bike my eyes ruuuuuuuuuun. work was great tonite, busy. dakota tomorrow for the great diviners and jet set. gonna get screeched with the newfs. xoxo

photo: elyse, aka darling dear.

yesterday was, for me, typical these days? awesome, hilarious, new. fun. be riiiight back. folding laundry, gonna move the office to the front sunroom today to catch up while melodie studies.

chesty larue’s solo was soooo good. i’ll blog the video in a bit.

blam!

oh hello there hi, and welcome.

i have two huge empty storage containers on wheels beneath my bed. i was so worried about space for my stupid possessions, went out and did something about it and left the shit empty. colour me on top of things.

yesterday i realised that halloween is so taken care of. i’m goin’ as a piece of shit hipster.

no fair i love this shirt. bought it at the thunder bay airport. speaking of which think i’m going to visit the skids as soon as possible before i blow my city brains out. i need to climb that mountain again like, now. but anyway that entire outfit (stupid hair included) looks like it came right out of a halloween costume bag. ONE hipster costume please and in the fine print on the packaging is printed contains one gold chain, one wolf t-shirt, fake elvis costello glasses, one empty beer can, but BYOBA: bring your own bad attitude. jesus am i even funny anymore? what the hell is going on here?

yikes. melodie asked if that was a picture of rob up there. hahah. no it’s kerouac why the hell would i have a poster of rob over my bed? actually that would be pretty funny.

turns out melodie was planning on stripes too. the day we first met when i was 19 at my old apartment, lucas brought her back to the house, had a gong show party underway. then this cute friendly girl comes toward me wearing the exact same shirt as i was. long sleeve tight black and white stripes, my go-to mime mod shirt. if i was a homo i’d say that means something, kismet.

told her to go ahead and wear it but she wasn’t down. i wish she did cos the bartendress at red light was wearing a black and white stripe shirt too. you’ll see.

annie hall bowler hat got a thumb’s down. one of these days i’ll hero it out on the town. i may or may not be swigging from a bottle of sake. who knows, we’ll see.

someone can’t take photos to save their life.

and they wear vegan shoes.

watusi with ms britt for IOU (she owes me) birthday bite and drinks.

things were a bit hazy from my day in bellwoods. oh such a good day with melodie. i’ll post those pics later. she beat me to it.

sometimes i look super old and sometimes i look like an adorable spring chicken brat.

and sometimes my hair sticks out and no one tells me.

expensive drinks at watusi. kinda like, who do you think you are? we get asked for singapore slings at the central a lot to which i’m all are you serious? look at our drink menu we have a dick load of signature sweet and delicious stuff but no cherry brandy. go to the fucking mandarin guy!

had to get one to see what the big deal was. i cannot even remember. it was good but it didn’t give me a happy ending finish.

actually it was pretty refreshing though miss cheapskate (me) would prefer it be a good two dollars cheaper. britt and i are both broke as shit at the moment when the bill came it was a sad state of affairs. debit cash and credit card. the waitress hated us apparently, i didn’t notice because i don’t give a care about that stuff anymore.

so muriel’s wedding. britt’s never seen it. try explaining muriel’s wedding when you’re blasted. good fucking luck.

green eyeshadow, blue martini, love it.

wonton nachos were supposed to be stuffed to the brim. some were completely empty. i’d never had them before so i didn’t know. i realise that britt is a total service industry complainer gotta watch it when i’m with her, so demanding but it has the bonus of making me look like a bleedin’ angel. which i am anyway she just drives it home. she did say something classist/elitist about it (service industry) though that super pissed me off. i got her point but still, don’t even go there.

the drumms were amazing. forget which flavour we got. the spicy one i think.

unagi/avocado sushi. WIIIILD MUCH.

about this time i noticed she mighta been hating on us a little so i made her take our picture. the place was dead, the service was kinda slow, whatever i’m easy BUT if everything is “higher end” (expensive) i expect to get what i pay for, don’t you? in summation, step it the fuck up.

i need to get a smaller purse for nite time. it takes over my entire outfit. what do i have in there that i need so bad anyway?

reunited with the family at red light.

my new aussie friend mr sheedy rolled on in. he actually thought the central was called the babe central hahaha.

oh hi there.

not to brag or anything but look how tiny i am. short-lived though as i feel like a total cow at the moment. i’ll be dancing in a couple hours and taking it off down to nude flowers at the hot box cafe, first show at 3.15 then 5.30 GOT IT!

pisstanked time to go home.

lucas you looked super great and your tunes amaze me but why didn’t you introduce me to those hot guys behind you, selfish.

and that my friends is what we call monday.

the proust questionnaire ripped from tony.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

oh fuck. uh. heartbreak. death. a low point which lasts months that is impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel of. forgetting that there are other colours in the world than grey. not getting my way.

Where would you like to live?

montenegro. hawaii. paris.

What is your idea of earthly happiness?

lying in the sun with good tunes, good company. walking. beach. air. barefoot on grass on a warm day. pretty much the complete opposite of winter.

Who are your favorite heroes of fiction?

the narrator in microserfs as well as generation x which essentially is douglas coupland, so, him. the kid in rule of the bone. alicia you have my book i need it back for summer reading.

Who are your favorite characters in history?

john lennon

Who are your favorite heroines in real life?

i have personal heroines i see daily like the street rasta lady blasted out of her mind singin’ at us at ronnie’s yesterday. you don’t have to do much to impress me.

Who are your favorite heroines of fiction?

winona ryder, girl interrupted.

Your favorite painter?

yoshitomo nara

Your favorite musician?

can’t decide don’t make me. everyone you’re supposed to like, i like.

The quality you most admire in a man?

i’m stupidly vain so, looks. affection and attention from said good looking beast as a close-second. if i’m not attracted then it’s not happening cos booze goggles are too expensive and unhealthy. now that that’s out of the way i admire the little things like the way certain words are spoken, a laugh, a dreamy anecdote about nothing in particular. nice socks. good style. i am basically looking to date myself. but someone stronger than me, more in control, the bert to my ernie.

The quality you most admire in a woman?

women who get it. no whiners please. girl’s girls. skidfanie.

Your favorite virtue?

honesty

To what faults do you feel most indulgent?

ganj sweets (baked goods gut!) booze laziness impulse selfishness

Your favorite occupation?

SUPERSTAR OF EVERYTHING

Who would you have liked to be?

i’m already her.

Your most marked characteristic?

apparently it is craziness because people are too ordinary and have a strong lack of desire to expend much effort in thinking up some other word to describe what i am.

The quality you most like in a man?

his want to fawn all the fuck over me.

The quality you most like in a woman?

non-judgment

What do you most value in your friends?

reliability, respect, support.

What is your principle defect?

sadness. it is the cause of every stupid thing i’ve ever done. loneliness too.

What is your dream of happiness?

to be rich as shit so i can do nothing forever but write and photograph it.

What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes?

a balloon caught in a tree.

What would you like to be?

on time.

In what country would you like to live?

jamaica.

What is your favorite color?

pink.

What is your favorite flower?

lily

What is your favorite bird?

dunno, grackel? cos it’s a funny word. realistically something more tropical, like a toucan or a wild looking parrot, they’re good for painting.

Who are your favorite prose writers?

edgar allan poe was a dark motherfucker and pablo neruda wrote a pretty solid poem about a chili pepper once.

Who are your favorite poets?

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz didn’t we just got over this? kerouac. there. duh.

Who are your favorite composers?

beethoven

What are your favorite names?

eunice. something obnoxious like baudelaire.

What is it you most dislike?

cruelty toward animals.

What natural gift would you most like to possess?

guitar.

How would you like to die?

painlessly.

What is your present state of mind?

a little off the tracks.

What is your motto?

my lifestyle is hugely centered around fun and the never-ending pursuit of more. if it’s not fun, then i’m not there. if you find yourself in a situation and you find yourself to be hatin’ on it, look for the good parts. if you’re a dark cloud on the parade this means you need to make a lifestyle change. go away for awhile, new perspective is always good. try new things often. be brave, be bold. love your friends, hate yourself. i stole that last one cos i like how it sounds, though i am a firm believer in self-love. someone’s got to love you right? it might as well be you. positivity spreads so don’t be a downer. smile at strangers. it feels good.

look see!

live like you’re going to die tomorrow. live period.

Have you seen any major changes (other than the obvious over-saturation and big companies/media places having blogs) to blogging and social networking since you started blogging? What are they?

obnoxious internet life intrusions we are all going to have to fucking deal with for a bit longer now. twitter is secondary to me so i have this lackadaisical approach toward it, i talk mad shit, i’m rebelling against it. i’m not part of that crowd, i admire their shit but i don’t see how anyone is benefiting in the long-run. i do get it though my “brand” just has a different method entirely. my friend @eyeborg will not shut up about social media, there’s a massive engineer crowd on twitter. it’s a geek’s highschool dance that never ends. that’s exactly it actually. so all the geek big companies are trying to crack the twitter code. it’s a good time to be online right now, if you have any sort of thing to offer, be it yourself, brand (blogging), whatever, the recession is lifting, people want honesty, minutiae, anything, everything. this consumption society is still going strong, smart phones are popping up all over the place, we have faster and immediate access to everything, we want and get up-to-the-second data. we demand it. blah, as i said, people are online, using all these multimedia platforms, and twitter is the go-to medium for advertisers to get the word out, for people to connect and receive a small audience at the same time. succinct personal online soapboxing is what it is. snuh-ore. i just walked across the room. branding it!

performing at the hot box cafe tomorrow for 4/20 at 4PM. remember when i used to make fun of hippies and stoners all the fucking time? man that was awesome. eating words. hahaha.

dance class