going through the reel of last night wooh fun times. bit by bit by bit i’ll scatter breadcrumbs here we’re on burnoutington time now. i’m eating handfuls of kashi and drinking guilty men malivoire, gonna be an early night my eyes are already squinting hardcore. thanks again tarek! and the rest. tonight i will be adding my dad to facebook. MAYBE! maybe tomorrow, who knows! he just called me down to the tv to see what was on and i’m thinking obviously the apocalypse from the tone in his voice. nope. just an immaculate to scale airport on discovery channel with an old white geezer sitting beside a model airplane. hahaha. i almost had a fucking heart attack. now he’s going on about it more. ok i’m sold. payce.
had my retest today at tmr. overall great improvement. lost inches, lost weight, i’m stronger, can do shit longer and better. so yay. i am winning so my lifestyle is being attacked now by my fitness person, i have no idea how to word this shit but essentially that means i’m more than maintaining. i’m in the fitness area, meaning i am a legit fit person now. it’s real guy.
got dtd yesterday. day time drunk. i was stressed about the three events (i’m a baby) i had to do in one night. i keep saying i am coming out of last week’s bday mess. i went hard the last two weeks actually and now i am shifting gears into fitness and health and beauty. i’ve been inundated with so much fucking gossip and rumours and have learned some hurtful things people in this stupid fucking neighbourhood have been piping up about me, people who’ve never even met me. simultaneous to that is my regular blog trolling nastiness. it is never-ending. i am skimming out the fat, all of it, the useless drama. from now on if you hear something about me don’t waste my time with it, simply tell the teller to go fuck themselves and thank you i am too busy to be dragged down by this drama.
i’m going to my dad’s for the weekend. it’s my brother’s 30!th birthday on sunday so i figure i have earned my little burnoutington bubble, it’s been over a month since i last went. shocking.
i’m not ready to be accountable for a relationship yet. i am and i’m not. i just need to drop off without question or explanation like that, defiantly, without the person feeling like i am doing it purposely to them you know? i told the teacher i’ve had my heart broken so many times this past year. it’s steeled me now and made me oh so gruff so when i’m ready to run i just run and i’ll see when you when i get back. i need my distance otherwise i’m going to just be a bitch forever. i don’t even know what’s meant to be private anymore. people say so much shit about me or share all my stories with their own circle and i never get a fucking say but then when i have the audacity to tell their stories it’s meltdown time. arg.
went to crush for a wine auction. taking this photo made them think i was bidding though i was immediately outbid thank goodness, it was up to $890. proper pics of this in my next post.
tarek’s party was great. i had a lot of mai tais. the appleton dudes were there too great to see them again. i did some cartwheels. stupid fucking brock asked me if was thirty (he was joking) i should have pushed him through a window or left with kevin and brought only kevin to cut copy. pics on this also in next post. saw anita and was like heeey how long have you been here, she’s like, 15 minutes and i quip that’s an hour in fashion world eh? she laughed. touchdown.
trying to get myself with my mirror, the other shot the teacher took of me doing my behind the scenes self photog diy trickery. no more face lotioning i am breaking out. what do i do?
that was a fun party. i lost ten dollars and made a joke about that all night to april. maybe i should call and ask if they found my ten dollars? then i found it the next day in the form of toonies and loonies in a tiny inner purse pocket hahaha.
oh and ladies and gents this is the hottie behind the camera of these photos. yuh-um.
this was a test for me. look at me smacking my maw. i only succumbed to a bit of icing. just a bit. jason was like a diabetic fat fuck on these we were concerned. he had ten pieces. it reminded me of my sugar binge of last spring. girl is watching her figure now son. i’m going to be in a shoot for a big brand clothing company (as background)(ha but STILL) soon, so.
or tap dance my way down stairs and drink martinis out of those funny retro glasses the ones strip tease chicks slosh around in. mmm yeah that’s the life.
and i was meant to sit and wait patiently for my hot euro scarf wearing husband with our 3 kids and my collagen injected matriarch lips. ok i’m just going to go in the order my mom has these on facebook.
my mom went on and on about the opera yesterday i was pretty impressed that she has the attention span for it at all. she must be thinking about other stuff at the time though.
mmm i looove mercatto. they’re expanding and branching out how do i get in on that? i stared at this one guy like i had staring problems while waiting for my moms to show up. i think he was the owner. i became very shy when they all rubbernecked me once i pulled my camera out after taking pics of the buildings outside so i didn’t take any i let my mom do it. i was really wound up yesterday. this is the burrata and beet salad. yuh-um.
mom is sick. had a tea and grand marnier. two of them. oh yeah. i was cocked by the time they showed up off one sip of chianti. part of why i didn’t want to take any more pics to draw attention to myself.
nibbled on these while waiting. my mom tore hers open with her teeth i was like, why did you do that you could just open it with your hands? she said oh, not ladylike kind of chuffed, no not my point it’s just, you learn people’s mannerisms when you actually pay attention. it was kind of animalistic, barbaric and funny. she did it without breaking any of the bread sticks that were so totally delicate and fragile.
i am kind of adorable here no? i’m having a vodka soda so that means this is during intermission of course i was wondering if there was even going to be an intermission cos the first act was soooo long. i didn’t get to pee cos of the massive lineup i chose a drink over the line. lois went though, she is so polite, waiting at the end. i grabbed her and walked her cutting in front of thirty women and plonked her at the head. zero people noticed. win.
teacher asked me if i thought i was masculine last night after i showed off how i walk sometimes, my strut. my vibe. he said there are elements to me that are masculine maybe, aggression, can be taken as masculine. there was another word too. meh. yeah i’m kind of tomboyish.
some men have less testosterone, some have more. some women get a little too i think, or a little less estrogen? part of it is nurture too, i have an older brother so that is who i naturally mimic or imitate as a kid, i had all male cousins, and all the women in my family are bitches. haha kidding. no they’re all pretty dominant, type a personalities. yeah my mom was definitely not a wall flower.
mom 2 is awesome, so sweet but i can see there are more layers to her as i get to know her better. she lets out these little revealing personal factoids, which is helpful. she knows how to read between the lines of my blog writing, very decent. i leave tons of breadcrumbs all over the place this is like a csi-enthusiast’s wet dream and new year’s eve for trolls world wide web wide.
i look like a big black potatobug. some man called my mom a cougar last night as she bobbled on by i heard and looked back and they looked scared. lois heard it too. didn’t tell mom til a bit further on. i felt bitchy all day so i didn’t want to make more bitchy happen so i didn’t flip out on him. she looked hot and had lots of cleavage and a leather coat beige polkadot shirt, total coug ground zero outfit what do you expect? also what would i have done, that never ends well. oh did you call her a cougar? yes, yes we did sorry. ok then doot dee doot. ya right.
my cab driver over was like what is the deal with moms and daughters and mr. green jeans (resto above mercatto) once i saw mercatto i was like there is no chance in hell we are going to mr. jeans, not now or ever again. i went up the escalator and saw the bummed out expressions on all their staff’s faces, called my mom and was like change of plans girls.
another reason i couldn’t pee was cos of my jumper. the show was brilliant. tons of swearing and smoking, made me want to take up smoking again. made me pine for dancing again. maybe one day i’ll get in super super shape and somehow get to perform again. i dunno. if d list stars can do it… one day i’m going to have to leave toronto to make it bigger. groan.
taking a photo of my wine glass i liked the gold on gold. no i was not busting lines i don’t think anyone could handle a play on blow. though if you could do let me know and good luck with that.
i’m sulking cos she wouldn’t listen to my vision and lois had to break us up ahhahahaha. my mom asked teacher if he would watch a show on us. he goes, yes, i would. oh man. that guy is super fucking popular at his school now with all his stories and photos of his new minxy pal. so, what did you say about me today? mhmm. mhmm. good. i see. nice nice. yep. right. ok, and then what did they say? hahaha.
what do i wear to billy elliott? halp. we have good seats lois says. going to BR to eat first. i’m not saying their name cos i just called to see if they would sweeten our deal, no go. fine. FU then. no blog love.
i think i’m getting testy cos i’m having flashbacks of my old life and how many man hours i spent cooking and photographing it and wow it’s like i was dead sometimes.
even though i love cooking and being in the kitchen it just gives me way too much time to think and i think about all the things i’m not doing while chopping and simmering i start to feel pregnant and ugly, forgotten. total late-twenties losing it much hahaah.
i love that there is a picture of a meth addict face dude on this. i cannot fucking stand the auto tune of it either, brosz7 used to play it all the time and i’d be dying inside. hating it. not funny. not once. auto-tune anything, why ruin good songs? borderline good songs. that’s not music. it is garbage noise to the soundtrack of bad jokes and memes. guh.
your ingredients. one bag of slaw will suffice. now that i know he has a slap chop i can buy the, what the hell is slaw from? oh my god i am so stupid. i don’t have time for this right now anyway the girls are on their way in. CABBAGE!
i cheated. had some of those. not a lot. and some cheap easter chocolates from metro so good. already fantasizing about more. i also rain manned the plu (sku?) for it just by skimming the numbers thinking they might need me to remember that number nah prob have a sheet up there. 16143 something like that i remembered (am wrong) teacher went to get it and i had only the last two numbers reversed. i became very egotistical after that.
theme cupcake of the night. green tea moche (?) cupcakes. OH SO GOOD. i ate baked goods all night and hated myself all night. like one every half hour. i was there for five hours.
