it’s 4.12pm thursday afternoon and i’ve finally hit the wall. i haven’t showered for the after work party in libville. if i had a real job there’s no way i could juggle having such an involved blog so it’s funny to me to be attending an after work party when my work involved sucking on a pot of coffee like a (princess) dirtbag with a hangover and the “real” work hasn’t even begun yet i’ve been cranking out material all damn day. i’m going to do this in instalments and live blog what’s going on in the background (no i’m not) as each update/addition to this super post arises.
as we were walking to the caddy to meet darius i said this is going to end in a bbq i know it which stressed me out cos the state of the roof, hostzilla was just dying to come out of her cage. turns out i was right but the bbq would not be chez “the tower” (does that name suck?) but instead a la rob’s. on hobbit tree trunk toadstools in his lush urban williamsburgesque back digs fire-escape included! (maje w’burg requirement aka hip). parkdale is to toronto what williamsburg is to brooklyn/nyc at large and now the rent is rising, much like williamsburg’s did so the new williamsburg i guess will be the junction, we’ll all be living so far west may as well live at my dad’s.
it is unfortunate that i cannot share the backstory of this photo with you in as gritty a detail as i would like. we’re at mezzrow’s and that is a clothespin in my hair and i really love tanning.
melodie your scarecrow jeans and hat and striped shirt are a perfect combo. girl can throw it together. when i first moved in those pants were loose on me, i was skeletor central. then i started working at THE central and got booze weight. ugh. not to mention suicidal. miss you guys!
now on to my grainy blueberry (haha blackberry i mean!) pics. i love how media always harshes on blackberry civillian reports. sorry if you were excluded from the xyz event and normies were on the scene and got the scoop, deal with it. it’s not like you can’t tell what’s going on in cell phone pics and the news/story is only true and real if a photographer was hired and sent with a professional camera. it just irks me. when everyone is running around with pro cameras what then buddy?
i was soaking the fork in meat juice. we were so barbaric and kept sawing away til it was gone then the chicken came out, i didn’t have any, so craving it now though.
the boys met teacher and bromanced it up. i was outnumbered by genitals and eventually declared i am not having any fun at all when i felt teamed up on.
all the way down the end you can see a girl in a long black maxi dress, boring and hot, they favoured her. when she left i was like, that one? seriously? i’ve seen plain bread more interesting than that. there were loads hotterer girls on the patio but i guess when the majority settles, it settles, no matter how much you protest. all our staring at her made a weird emo goth couple think we were staring at them like crazy. it’s great being a pisstank in the sun. when people get the first drink in them and start to think they’re invisible, like picking your nose in the car and then you start talking louder and more obnoxiously offending entire sections of patio ahhhhh tell me the hole and i am there.
al’s shirt matched my nail polish, i noticed the buttons were of good (thick) quality. when a guy puts on a pink shirt he is basically saying to the world “I want to get in to a fight” come on bring it. so true. the other day dan left us in his pink shirt to drive around in his convertible, now if that is not looking for a fight i don’t know what is. andrew was so livid (envious) he yelled at him as he was leaving TMR hahaha.
rob is such a dude and always throws out guy wisdom and v keen on the differences between men and women i am now recalling a chat just before we left that i brought up about how women (allegedly) are less secure of themselves when speaking so they’ll typically tack on a “you know?” or some form of looking for reassurance/validation whereas a man would just make the statement and stand by it even if it’s wrong, dudes stand by their word, strong as wood bullshit. i find that when i augment this apparent handicap of my gender when i am speaking with people, trying to land a deal, if you are more aware of it, you almost (saying almost in this sentence lesser emboldens what it is i am saying, see?) enter a realm of mind-control, your word becomes fact, solid, stone. anyway the point is rob built a manly-ass fire with his own bare hands no bells, whistles, or bullshit.
we took turns playing guitar (i cannot play guitar, i am hoping tyler will teach me drums or follow through with his band suggestion. i told my dad and i could hear my dad pleasure fainting over email) and drinking like merry old gypsies.
we are all saucaholics. al ran and got this from a portugeuese place, so delicious and mysterious. from caddy we divided to conquer the bbq. that we did. solid gold success going down in the PBC hall of fame autobiography.
mel and i were bristling over bbm then i ended up down the street from advhaus where i knew she was and would be a dickhead if didn’t call her over. i love this girl. it’s retarded how similar we are and challenge one another to be better, have one another’s back, keep our distance when required and no matter how much we clash it’s over instantly cos we know there isn’t a point to be enemies. as i age i become all about the village and community. be there for your people and they will be there for you. that’s why i am always touching melodie in pictures (i’m usually touching someone in every photo) in a kindred manner. girl just gays you right out. lately my thing with her well last night really was to just be me and when melodie wanted to debate my stance i just stayed true, no matter how offensive and racist i was being ahah.
i will look like this when i’m a fuzzy ol grandma with fuzzy wild hair. one day i bet i will be sponsored by depends and wrinkle cream. I BETTER BE! btw all the other bloggers doing shit for free? stop that. you are f-ing with my and your livelihood, if we cover the same shit repetitiously gratis, then what the f–? i think one day there’ll be a blogger’s union and all these emails for free shit placed on my (your) blog from PR companies making bank will recognize how insulting it is to email to do their work for free and expect free advertising. don’t even get me started on influence, target audiences and traffic. like you can send me free stuff but you won’t get a link or your ass kissed proper like you are wanting/expect, got it? if i get as much traffic (in some cases more) as “___” media blog why do they get paid and i’m not in your budget? so stupid. psst. for advertising inquiries raymi@raymitheminx.com especially since there’s been a study and findings revealing that bloggers are MORE influential than celebrities. that ping pong chick’s twitter has under 100 followers, she’s a model and a ping pong champion. i am nearing 2400 followers (granted my audience pre-date/will never be on twitter, nor follow me cos they hate me yet are addicted to my blog) and i am not a model or a ping pong champion. do they make an entire party devoted to me? no. will people buy things cos i say so? yes. CONUNDRUM. another thing. me being so racy and edgy and the city being so allegedly corporate and conservative? newsflash people, for the billionth time, this caustic edgy voice is what draws people here and you are falling into the ego-trap of not aligning with me cos of tits and f words. FAIL. next week i will be deep within the coolness vortex what is NXNE and this blog is going to be blowing the f up now, can your squeaky clean nerd bloggers bring it like i can/will/have access to? denied.
Welcome to Fascial Therapy at The Motion Room the latest service available at my favourite facility. Everything you need to know about FT can be gleaned from stretchtowin.com where it’s going, what it’s all about, in case you can’t follow along the raymi filtration system of verbal jargon and confusion.
my legs are dead here. dead weight. you must let go and let the trainer take over. allowing an external force to stretch for you is kind of a wild experience, separating your brain from your body and giving in. if you’re an over-thinker like me you must chill out. it feels awesome to let someone else jiggle your legs up and down for you, you feel it in your hips and lower back (butt) it’s a nice release. it requires trust, like a trust fall.
and learn to breathe, inhale push, exhale relax (dead weight) and then when you’re being touched all over (it gets personal) if you’re blushing or trying to act cool as a cucumber when you’re supposed to be inhaling and pushing, the simplest of duties (breathing) while lying on your back can become difficult, from that over-thinking again and from the maturity level of a third grader and blushing. while being photographed. ha.
inhaling and ninety degrees later i am on easy street. you’re already coasting on a post work-out high and this just pushes you right over into happy town.
your masseur speaks to you throughout in a calming tone that relaxes you instantly and gets right in there with you so your comfort zone is broken down right off the bat. good technique, totally works. i have never had a real massage before ever, ever. i have touching issues and am not at the point yet where i feel i need a massage even though i totally do cos i’m high-strung and a total bitch when stressed out.
tyler walks in and is all hmm, it’s like thai stretching. i go i don’t even want to KNOW how you know what thai stretching is he goes raymi, i’ve been around. ugh i need to be rich like yesterday.
when your legs go into all these different positions you never bothered stretching in before (why would you it’s kind of bizarre to have your leg at 90 degrees and then best to the side at the knee like you were in a bike accident) you can feel each precise stretch, or lengthening of joints, things get loosened up and you become more aware of your muscles and your posture improves, all that tightening up melts away, you feel extended. you should always be aware of your posture (someone is always looking).
she won’t push/pull your body more than it is capable but will definitely bring it right to the limit and that’s where the work begins and the tightness goes away and that limit you couldn’t range of motion passed before, you will pass it. it’s amazing. oh and if you enjoy bones cracking/clicking from stretching, you are in luck.
your weight of leg i supposed to be dead here but i misinterpreted her direction and instead tried to crush her between my thighs kash goes i know your leg isn’t that heavy raymi, i go oh sorry i was trying to crush you sorry. i can tell kash is majorly athletic so the competitive part of my brain takes over sometimes hahaha.
everyone should do this. once you pass 30 you have to keep working out to ensure bone growth and ward off osteoporosis. i am going to be lance friggin’ armstrong come thirty.
do you think she could take me? it would be fun to watch i’m sure. come get your own stretch and get taller, tall as meeee at TMR there’ll be a deal coming up soon i’ll tell you about. xoxoxo.
this song is now over. only took a month, less than, to be sickened by it. this video is now properly synced, youtube speeds up all photobooth material ridiculously fast. vimeo is the answer.
it was a mighty feast. round one was steak, lots of it, rob went to a butcher, al got sauce, we got booze, rob has a big smoker grill in his yard. i love my buds. next week it’s our turn to top this bbq, heck, maybe even tomorrow. why not. also adventurehouse party is tomorrow too!
the storm stayed away. as we were DTD walking to lcbo the sky was angry and grey, lightning but not raining. anyway, darius was right, it blew over. stupid darius. thinks he’s all helen hunt (storm chaser in twister) and shit. i got tons more garbage to show you regarding our epic bbq in rob’s backyard but next up will be my sexy stretch with kash (like thai stretching) it’s amazing and put me in the best mood. i walked around in-between legs and i felt lopsided, proof it works. my left leg was clearly lengthened more than my right leg until she stretched that one too. fantastic. it’s called fascial stretch therapy and is the new rage in massage & fitness all that. i love it.
you have to learn to relax and be dead weight while counting the dots on the ceiling and spacing out. ahhh. my hair is matted from sweat, this was post training session and when it’s wet and my roots come in it looks greenish at my scalp. gorgeous platinum.
lightning fast. i didn’t get to play ping pong all the hipster elite society of toronto (dudes) became competitive and manly out of nowhere, it was super annoying. like hi can i play for one f–ing second please? there were many tables and line-ups waiting for a table and then hogging the table.
i have a busy morning today i have to start prepping for, other than just mentally. work out, half hour stretch then pool party the moment has come the one i’ve been dreading, bathing suit not consisting of rags and various underwears time. ugh. that doesn’t sound like a very hard morning at all does it, but when you work for yourself, downtime overtaking work time, it is.
and now here i am before going out. thanks for the sweet time spin. ugh look at this tweet, look who we missed! “Def a highlight! RT @carolepark Susan Sarandon & Geena Davis were at the @SPiN_Toronto party I was at this evening. No big deal.”
half my makeup didn’t show up til britt did. i wanted to apply the lower half of my eyes when i got there in case allergies ran amok. they didn’t and i didn’t put my mascara wand in my purse. that’s the red velvet cupcake. gooey icing. we shared it.
dude in the hat i will be boning in the movie. i better not look like an amazon beside him, well, i’ll be on top ha. we’re the same height i am probably a little taller. i measured. the starvation began yesterday. organic wine shared a half litre. but i did have a billion malt balls. kris on the left is also a producer/director, or both i dunno don’t ask me i am the talent and colleague is telling me to check imdb/fb/website so i checked but see a billion different contradicting things along with what i have already learned previous. ACK! UPDATE: about the adorable film makers.
the next time you see a still of us together it will be in a wholly different setting and atmosphere. i have twenty days to go skeletor and to keep face tidy and young.
are you %$^@^ kidding me? i walk over here bravely in front of all the wallflowers and THIS is the only photo from this moment that you put up? not happy.
and this too? none prettier? i hate it when man photographers put the best sharpest photo inconsiderate of the female’s feelings or wants, F*CK YOUR ART! (brosz7kowski is MAJORLY guilty of this one) give me the prettiest vampiest and don’t make me repeat myself i don’t care if you captured an oboe’s shadow exquisitely.
THEN, JUST AS WE WERE ABOUT oops yelling still haha, so just as we were going to leave cos the teacher had three vodka sodas in an hour, or four? these dweebs show up, so then the teacher had his fourth and i wanted to have real dinner. we stayed to party some more instead, grand idea.
haven’t seen britt in ages. they were stir crazy craving the city and brad was my favourite kinda drunk, bordering on newf drunk, belligerent surly and snickery which opens up the raymi zinger floodgates. my specialty. i composed entire songs about brad’s stupidity and masculinity. i am the best “one of the guys” girls there are you know.
laaazy adorable. all these two do when we hang is lament for the old days when we were all giver’ing together. they cannot let it go meanwhile partying s staring you right in the face right meow. relax dudes this is going to be the best summer ever.
i was like hey retards get over here please i want to do a beatles album cover a la sargeant peppers. took forever to make it happen. kay bye bye have to get ready for the ping pong party at burroughes building for spin toronto i don’t know what the f*ck. two words: gift bags.
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cleaning update: midway point. maybe i’ll let him do the rest. need more hangers. there is dog and cat hair everywhere even in my soul. going through sunday’s pics and loving them. ok pooch time, coffee time, then blog time.
