then ya click for justa little more.

see ya burn outs!

amazing night. i am exhausted from it but still coasting and ready for more. don’t expect this post to be as verbose as my regular fare of uh, fare.

my mom’s dress just so happened to match the dress i performed in.

starlight burlesque dressed the stage.

my mom made lois and i pose like this all night long with our matching rings. mom are you twelve?

lil miss kate killet was my assistant/point girl. job well done girl.

tim and i have been tight buddies since i was 21 and insane, longboarding buddy from oakville. he was the jealousy trap i set when it was down to he or my ex fiance. it worked, fuck, look at him. haha look at my stage mom behind me too.

walking around in my one piece was super empowering. i recommend it.

the vipeople.

tarek, we need to talk (dish). BOOM catch-up with april stat!

surround yourselves with cute people at all times possible.

i don’t remember all the burlesque girl names but they were so fantastic. everyone thoroughly enjoyed this.

positively packed.

look at this man. this man is a genius. his bags make me look so good. thank you infinity.

my colleague must be counting his lucky stars he ever met me hey ahaha. yesterday afternoon we spent a good time with maureen at nearly naked, locked him alone in there even while she and i grabbed coffee. it’s located right across the street from where my nude scene was filmed in those lofts and i think he lined a shot up, bragged about it, i go yeah your business brain cogs musta been rotating at mach ten by that stroke fluke of luck hey? i constantly break his balls i am such a delight to work with.

YES MONEY SHOT! i am bummed mine didn’t stay on. what if i get a dental floss pasty contraption set-up?

this chick was doing a total von teese (esther deville?) thing and at the end of the night we had a sultry limo shoot and she french inhaled all over the place. then clem paid the driver to take us for a spin and dropped us off at salvador darling, me my mom lois teacher clem and i it was wild. so fun. so many photos i don’t know where to begin so i’m starting here and doing cliffs notes before i forget.

seeing the wasted crowd deterioration totally calmed me down, they won’t have any idea what’s going on by the time i hit the stage. perfect.

yeah i could get used to dressing like this again. steering toward pin-up. wedges, teeny shorts. just picked up some new cute things from public butter after brunch at the caddy just now. i love hungover hair of the dog vintage shopping. the music was so abstract and terrifying, i found everything hilarious and now i have gold raybans, a wicked little vest, baby pink gauzy nightie to dance in and swingin’ sixties dress.

the fans were added last minute. i’ll do the dance and film it so you can see it properly if you want then i’ll retire it for use only if by request and if paid otherwise we’ll be going to the psych ward if we hear shake shake shake senora ever again. a lot of dudes told me i made their night, one of the security guards. i am so dumb for not speaking to edwin. he tried to cruise me once and i didn’t go for it. there’s a notorious story about him though so maybe it was a good idea. aw poor celebs, everyone knows your spot and blows it up.

she was adorable and i should have been wearing a headpiece like her. i couldn’t wear anything in my hair cos my headband would fly off and barrettes, i ran out of time to curl it and also didn’t have time for false eyelashes. next time i’ll be sure of it.

nice one.

i love her routine. i put her video up the other day.

would you be nervous to dance in front of all these people?

a girl came up to me afterward (hi) and said she wants to do what i do, which is exactly how i approached my old troupe. she has dance experience and balls, that’s all it takes. none of these chicks were alive in the 60’s or 40’s so it’s every girl for ‘emself recreating what their perception of burlesque should embody, i of course have my own spin on it and everyone else can sincerely go fuck themselves if they have a problem with it. also, marketing is more than half the work here so you can be amazing but if you don’t have the spark or the audience, you know, it’s a lot of work. hype is necessary.

see we match. this always happens. mom how do you do this all the time? happens with melodie and i sometimes too as well as an old friend of mine. cosmic cuckoo kismet.

i can’t tell if this was before or after cos my hair was various stages of wild and more than one person asked if was doing anything with it. nope. just watch. i let it dry naturally and it has a kink to it so it works plus my dance is a spazz attack number there is no point in trying to maintain beauty when you’re having fun and dancing with your people at your free bottle service vip table. dudes you also forgot to tip our waitress, i covered it but come on you can’t do that self-entitled shit to me, poor form.

some people were cuttin’ loose and celebrating their set as they should have. i said to hanna that it (burlesque) might make her horny and she goes i’m already horny! ahahah. burlesque is a perfect date night activity and my friend said the party in the distillery last year for the red light district campaign i did with lexus (or was it nissan? bahaha) but anyway it brings the wildcat out in women so he said all the women were aroused big time and every dude got laid that night GUARANTEED.

can’t wait to see the limo shots. oh boy.

what is going on here?

oh it’s me!

oh hai there.

why didn’t you use the flash dude??

one girl was sitting on the fucking stage so i fanned her a lot and singled her out to work with it. rude. get off my stage before i mariah carey your ass on out of here.

baha that guy is studying me and the girl beside him is like screaming.

minxing the horny mob.

going to burnoutington to see my daddy! so more later from there, bon weekend!

your pal raymi.

(mom get your pics up!)

omg i can’t wait to blog the nn shopping pictures.

turn it down. teacher was right by the speaker. i made a whole dance in less than 24 hours. i need a nipple pasty solution though, for the sweat and my skin’s refusal to adhere the glue by, i was told spirit gum over eyelash glue. we were at capacity, full room tonight and it was so cool. i was the headlining act. i am hungry for more performances now so if you want me to put a showcase together for any event, whether it be girly or a bachelor party, social media pr, i’ll take care of everything: photos, costumes, routines to any song you like. RAYMI@RAYMITHEMINX.COM ask anyone there tonight. knocked it out of the park. my feet are dying they need advil this is like working at a bar, takes hours to sleep afterward and also how i got fat. any girls with a dancing background and want to pg rated-strip, get at me. we’re starting a troupe. oxxoxo i never want hear this song again hahaha.

ended the night at adventurehouse. so fun! we pulled up in a limo!

after a photoshoot ON IT with the other burlesque girls. sexy.

when i threw my bra off my left pasty disappeared. a security guard gave me his flashlight but i couldn’t find it. wahh so expensive.

love my girls and EVERYONE who came tonight. expect a lot of coverage even my lingerie try on at nearly naked today. lifesaver maureen you angel! she said i was an angel sent to her. oh you! see my and lois and mom’s mathching bling rings. we are obsessed.

i LOVE this one piece. with love by carrie russell. one left go grab it. if you mention my name you can snatch up the garter black lace bottoms i have on discount. they are very flattering and comfortable.

ok night.

this was really painful ahaha. smashed the bridge of my nose super hard and fast. i lost my breath, then i go to the laptop to turn off the music i wheeze out stop filming, he didn’t. this is not the dress i’m performing in, also i’m wearing a jumper beneath so that’s why it’s a bit rumply, i didn’t get a chance to strip down to it cos of the maraca massacre. picking up my lingerie tomorrow (have my selected store and an appointment for a fitting i am excited) and will settle on my final dress too. i plan to have a costume change or two while milling about and flirting in character. it’s going to be a great time. i can’t wait to see you all.

y’all are coming to this right? FRIDAY AUGUST 12 – TOMORROW! 10PM FREE IF YOUR NAME IS ON RSVP LIST. $10 OTHERWISE. i have a couple VIP booths with bottle service to entice some shy perverts out there it’s FREE before 11PM. i also have VIP guest list spots for some before 12AM. i’ll be closing the show about 12.30AM do not miss it! so to clarify, if you email info@pinkmafia.ca and rsvp you’ll be on the guest list and it’ll be no problem.

Roxanne – A Burlesque Show Presented by STARLIGHT BURLESQUE

Time

Friday, August 12 at 10:00pm – August 13 at 2:00am

Location

Tattoo Rock Parlour
567 Queen St. W.

No guestlist, no problem! $10 @ the door.

i’m told this performance will also be happening. four starlight burlesques in total. inspiring! they do full on 40’s retro style. my song is 60’s.

up for grabs. now you can be a trainwreck too.

not supposed to be so wrinkly but it’s been bunched up in a box for a bit. bounces back easily. size six, h&m. very slimming hides everything. i wore it for halloween as courtney love i’ll grab those pics in a sec. i’m selling it cos everyone makes fun of me for looking like courtney love all the time and i want to distance myself from that image hahah.

how’mi doin’ so far?

ahah.

this dress has the potential to be ladylike too. hailey wants it but she will never be a size six.

it’s baby soft pink. oh any my hippie bag went for $60. raymerch is collectible and a total investment. so is my art.

i like to let it hang off by mistake. oops. i’m a slut! whoopsie! the painting behind me is by jamie, it’s of me when i used to model online. i matched up his hand writing from the signature on the back of the canvas to his writing in the stephen sprouse book he put together, jamie was his assistant best friend for like two decades. sprouse made day glo a thing, you saw the louis vuitton bag collaboration revival with marc jacobs a few years back, that was sprouse post humously, he died of hiv in 2004. i recommend getting the book, i have the hot pink one. jamie currated the show in japan and dug up all the sprouse artifacts from a storage locker on staten island. phenomenal talent. he’s been my friend since i was 18 years old from brooklyn. here‘s a set he took of me at 19.

ok here i am as courtney OFFICIALLY for once.

we went to the virgin party at parts n labour. media wasn’t supposed to be there. torontoist wrote about it and gave us an inch thick mention thanks to this outfit. they were mean. the article was yanked cos they weren’t supposed to write about the private performance, who played again? hahaha one of the arts n crafts bands kind of like the equivalent of seeing sloan after all these years no? oh right, BSS. it was a great time.

i am a method actress.

that chick is so busted.

so if you want this notorious dress you can email me at raymi@raymitheminx.com

i also drew this of courtney love’s mtv awards red carpet fall. gill has it.

i still do commissioned work btw.

• courtney love,
• hole,
• trainwreck

what happens at blogher stays at blogher. except for dumb pictures, those come with.

this was my first walk through the convention with sarah and dee, we were beelining the wine booth at dee’s suggestion. way smart just let me slip beneath this pepsi stiletto on my way please it’s very important.

girl dinner crawl. we were a little diva parade.

erica‘s maxi dress is hot. can you guess what i’m wearing before we get to me?

speaking of diva, dee said this wine sucks and she’s the cocktail deeva so she must be right. we agreed that the label is lovely though. snap snap you’ve been blogged.

found the store where your dress came from too. i bought my bettie page shorts there. they almost gave me a discount but the ass. manager wussed out. i said if by chance the manager takes a glance at my blog you might all feel stupid i am already getting floods of emails regarding the shorts. anyway…

sometimes you get so wrapped up in yourself and work you forget to take in the scenery. beautiful architecture, is it colonial? why do i pretend like i know anything about design? it reminds me of full house, which would be san fran.

lena and i’s purses are talking. this is when we all made fun of me again and i got to express how it will all make sense on the internet. also, lena and i had a maje big brother pow wow which continued at the ford picnic too. who else is watching big brother right now?

ammar suggested this restaurant to us ladies, it’s called tabule. last minute he pulled out of the trip as his wife was going to give birth, and she did to a baby girl, congrats!

i really like stink-eye shannon (zchamu) and i’m only sorry i could barely keep my eyes open nearing the end of dinner, plus i was full on risotto (he still hasn’t emailed).

i look like i rolled out of a haystack. so tired. donna’s like yeah that’s not a good look. i love donna DONNA have a great time in europe come back soon.

hi donna! i’m signing up for shesconnected today. amazing network.

pretty mums.

gotcha. hi tenille!

rose took ammar’s stead and what a solid chick she is. that’s lena’s mane to my left and apparently kid rock behind rose haha.

lets mange!

i’m apprehensive to wear this to dinner lest i get taken to a little italian restaurant with a matching table cloth and cheap bottle of chianti with those basket weave bottoms. i’d walk in and out like a turnstile uh, lets go have japanese!

baby back ribs. mmmm.

no idea you tell me.

shrimp on portobello. TO DIE FOR.

duck tacos. one of the tops in my opinion.

more duck. lettuce wraps. lettuce wrapping is a good skinny girl substitution method for carbs.

salmon ceviche.

then i went with the roquefort salad for my main after all that as well as my full risotto tum tum. i was battling nausea (sleep deprivation and boozing, courtesy thereof) and the blue cheese dressing was too much. i stealthily pushed it away with my finger and it was whisked off without much fanfare thankfully. ps. blogher is party central if it’s not clear. fabulous time. fabulous vacay. fabulous networking and learning. not even anywhere finished sharing my coverage of it you know i like to draaag it out. i’m so welsh (sentimental) sometimes. all times.

here’s a shot dee took. it looks like i put my makeup on in a tornado.

i should have got what sarah got. she gave me a shrimp. i have been eating so much seafood lately i hope i don’t jeremy piven.

let the ford camp begin. initiation rites: spray tattoo. i chose the chevrons which mean rafter which means protection. i think.

i don’t know why but i got slightly nervous. they looked at my real tattoos and were like, are you kidding me? hahah.

yeah exactly. this is what is going on.

a little bit of this too.

and that. i am covering my camel toe. i mean, moose knuckle. i mean, what?

we spent awhile at this stall together. i should check out the pro shots that were taken, i have a handful of barcode tickets to make sense of.

okay i got it right after all. chevron is a french word meaning rafter and it signifies protection.

farah got a feather. it represents kinship and can be used in times of battle. i love this!

i said THIS IS THE PMS TABLE. they were like YUP! even gluten free brownies for nerdy sarah. who set herself on fire during last year’s ford camp. they didn’t recognize her though.

hey good lookin’! i’m talking to the car.

down by the bay shots. boring!

sarah talked about japan a lot she must have been there once or something but anyway, no, it was china, but anyway she said girls pose like this there, very dramatic and have billowy fluttering scarves. hope it spreads to the west dude you look f-ing hot!

then her boyfriend called about the plaster falling from their ceiling cos she apparently can do something about it from san diego? i was like yeah, mine told me there was a thunderstorm but it’s all sunny now. thanks phewf, was worried there for a sec. hahaa. then she’s like i like how he can’t live without me. yes it’s cute how useless guys are.

i hate you.

just kidding take me with you.

i was trying to get the sailboat but my olympus is smashed in the lcd and i know that my zooming-in (blindly) skills are terrible, the pelicans that hobo is feeding i just got close-ups of the pier legs. they’re really beautiful pictures though by the way, of pier legs and water and half of an ugly grey pelican head. can you see the dude in the cardboard box makeshift cabana on the bench. resourceful. that sun is fierce. my shoulders are fluorescent brown but anyway don’t you love how the most popular blogger in the city’s blog is held together merely by thumbtacks and glue? shit guy all my electronics are ghetto. my laptop? dust. i use the teacher’s and ba-lee me we fight over it all the time, not pretty. blackberry? the e/2 button conked out in january. camera? we already know, casie was with me the day it happened at starbucks and i SO saw a gleam of glee in her eye even though it was kind of funny cos she was so late for this test study we were both paid to have our brains picked for, they just paid her and she didn’t have to say anything at all. me though? i ripped their idea to shreds limb from limb hahaha. they couldn’t handle the truth. my purse was on the hook of the bathroom door in starbucks, i was sober, it was not a party girl move. the hook was faulty and my purse dropped and i heard a POP but didn’t think anything of it then i took my camera out to take casie’s picture and the screen had this perma-shatter that wouldn’t go away. wahh.

the point of this is do you want to sponsor me for any of the following:

LAPTOP

CELL PHONE/SMART PHONE

CAMERA

My blog receive 10,000 page views DAILY. Everyone is loving me right meow. I will be your spokesmodel. I have many fabulous events coming up too that i will also be requiring fashions for. One VERY CELEBRITY-RIDDLED event next week in fact. The mayor will be there. I say no more and there will be no hashtags for it either, it’s an oldschool elitist gala. class.

you can be any brand you like i’ll rep you. kids love me. moms. dads. cool people. dorks. freaks. celebs. artists. I got the food market on lock down too.

hark! my babysitter blogger senses are tingling, must not hoola hoop this baby in the head. car! i mean baby! ooh there’s a video of one of my SWF blogger stalkers who’s a mom and she’s hoola hooping and she hits her daughter in the head with it cos she’s so intent on making cuckoo messages to raymi and competing with me than to pay attention to her own child. gross. she’s been harassing and bullying me for over half a decade now too.

she was a phenom teacher and we jived right away. i was a little diplomat precocious girl. still am.

sarah was going to profess her love to me over a GT FORD MUSTANG cruise but the line-up was long and time was ticking to meet michelle who was leaving ahead of her back to wherever she lives. i love michelle.

i took this for a spin though. no one wanted anything to do with me. their loss. it almost tipped (barely) just the once. just the once. i needed a counter balance. who knew moms were such wimps eh? hahahah. nah my mom would have gotten in with me.

nacnud i got you one of these hats. he has a mustang too. these hats were made for men to wash the car and mow the lawn, get morning coffee in and the paper.

might have wigged them out cos i screamed out NOW SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME READ THE INSTRUCTIONS OFF THE BRAKE PEDDLE!

THE SUMMER OF RAYMI! SCREAM IT OFF A MOUNTAIN! i should have done that in tbay.

i was trying to kiss ass with the social media dude but erica was hogging him i was like girl you’re already established i need this shit. move! no just kidding. or am i? here i am BEGGING shannon to get in with me. she didn’t. pussy.

yachtzee!

dee was catching up with a pal to go surfing with and we thought we were meeting michelle except she was at another hotel and we are stupid. we seriously went in circles all weekend+ long.

ack wrinkle smush face. i put on lots of makeup, that’s my sunblock.

mega quick bettie page shop. so wanted the vintage lingerie but no time. so i need to find some quick before tomorrow. i’m going to make some calls.

goodbye drink with michelle. one by one they dropped like flies. we were bummed. i put it on my room. they were having caesars with the thickest pepper i’ve ever seen. i had a pear martini that got me gonged. i really wanted to check out the intervention party but i didn’t want to buy a ticket. vip hotel services emailed me before i checked in saying they would extend them to me so i was like well, do it then. but no guest list for the party and on principle i didn’t want to buy one. diva right? it was like a mega pool party shit show with a famous dj and i want to puke i’m so mad i didn’t go. sarah and i spent a long time in my fav jewelry store though and after dinner at nobu after she left i drunkenly splurged at the hard rock store. i could have charged that to my room too but that felt like a mega wrong abuse of privilege. only spent $65 and didn’t i mention i was drunk? i made friends with the girl there too and you can see all the other hard rock stores around the world’s camera feed, tokyo some mother lifting up folded tshirts, london, a couple looking through other crap. it was neat. not live though. i bought hailey a necklace and a tshirt i’ll show you later they’re pretty wicked. my nana and papa brought me a hard rock athens shirt back from greece when i was hailey’s age and i thought it was SO COOL one of my top 3 shirts so i want to reinforce tradition. omg i prattle on eh.

fat watch from dinner night. cool order.

smells like team spirit!

blogher big gun the one i said MY DAD HAS A FORD GT MUSTANG CONVERTIBLE to that no one heard except for sarah and thus humiliated me profusely. ok we’re even now dude.

i was trying to make fun of hippies except i can’t even play the bongos. ooh i want to go back to the catskills. leslie…

last night a raymi saved my life.

ok ok you win. then i limboed beneath these billowing ribbons and almost impaled myself flipping over a huge green ball that was placed right at the highest and easiest part of the limbo ribbon which is where I CHOSE of course to begin my stupid charade of used-to-be-flexible and, why not scream out HEY EVERYONE LOOK WATCH ME LIMBO and they turn, to look, and see ALL OF THIS.

HAPPY THURSDAY IS THE NEW FRIDAY!

your pal raymi.

and now i practise the dance! hoping to see you all tomorrow. i go on at 12.30, but will be there at ten in many fabulous costumes. rsvp and it’s FREE all night just have to make sure your name is on the list INFO@PINKMAFIA.CA otherwise it’s $10 which you can just go ahead and give to me anyway lolz. paddy cakes isn’t dancing cos her foot is broken. from wearing flip flops and walking across the city. take care of your feet dudes!

good luck deciphering this.

omg so windy and this bag is full of stuff despite dismal appearances. i have a lot more to get rid of too and will be doing so. also a select few items i’ll be saving for little raymis to fight over.

it was heavy too.

i wonder if people thought these were my clothes for a shoot or something as the bag is transparent, not ordinary donation garbage bags? which would mean why did she choose all of that weird crap to use? ah i think too much.

i liked those shoes. mesmerizing.

that shrug used to be jen‘s i believe, from her garage sale where i bartended the lemonade vodka stand and we got trashed and went on a parade around queen west to get more customers. we made jokes about how i forgot to donate it with the rest of my stuff cos it’s a bit seasoned. pretty much every sweater i own looks like shit, they live in my antique dresser drawer, the bottom which i rarely open (i should get cedar balls), white paint wood slivers embed themselves within each one, probably termites too and now my head feels itchy. luckily a big portion of my style is northern rustic so it works for me.

does this make you feel like you are donating too?

thanks courtney for the tip.

this is getting tedious but i haz a vision. i want you to flip down really fast to see if i look like a film reel. i mean if you have the time to i don’t want to bug ya or anything you’re probably really busy, like, sorry for asking.

omg so close almost there.

good thing we didn’t add books like he wanted to CLOTHING ONLY.

i made a cerebral ballzy reference. just the one and it fell flat as it should have cos he doesn’t know the band, and there’s that politically incorrect thing which i call bullshit on (life is too serious to be taken seriously). i just know their name, i bet their music is quite melodic and classical hahahaa.

so little raymi pervs you know where to go to get my old bikini. it’s clean. i think. hopefully. whatever. alicia gets rid of lingerie and bathing suits too, why should it go to waste, it’s good quality and not like you wear it like underwear anyway.

it was like mailing a letter. i can’t finish that metaphor.

look how pleased i am with myself. what a giant asshole.

and just like a mailbox meme i had to double check that it went in right even though it did as it has no other choice but to. how much do you hyper panic about your special letter magically flying away out of the mail slot cos you obviously will fuck it up somehow like only your mail is jinxed. big brother time! pumped!!! i love my reality show friends. we watch it when it’s streamed online so we don’t have to wait around like full on geeks at 8pm. we get a good buzz on then trash on it like cool people at 11 or shortly thereafter. bye now. you’re goin’ down rachel!