I ate the worst ever, Egg salad sandwich this morning. What was moreso worse about it wuz that i had to eat it in 2 minutes, between union station and college.
Uggh. I didn’t realize it tasted so rank until I swallowed it all down. It must’ve had a spoonful of curry in it.
I bought it frum this chinese vendor guy. His wife was there reading a book. When her friend came up ( i assume they were frendz cuz they spoke to one-another in chingLish [half english, half chinese] ).
Their conversashun went sumthing like this:
“Oi, sum tai gi woo, chin gruzz-wahhh Bagel gella CremCheese Oke, doIken awwww waaa.”
“ahh dollar tWentee..meeee sooomach sssing buttalay.”

Oh, har har, I slay me!

I had to run like an Effing chikken wif its head cut-off all the way to The train, today. I had to sit on the stairs until Cooksville cuz NObuddY was gettin’ off. dammit. I was all sweaty and smelly and greasy cuz i wore four layers today and that run fucked me rite over. Everyone was trying to get up the stairs and past me to look for a seat. “Dammit, if there was a seat up there, I wouldn’t be sitting on these dirty steps!” Biatch. I’ll probably get hemmorhoids now. Another thing, I wore longjohNs too and they’re made up of this itchy wool-material and for sum reason, everytime i wear ‘em underneath jeans and i sit on a hard surface My asS starts to itch itch itch. I was trying to scratch and not be so obvious but everyone was watchin’ like they always are on the train.

this is where I am sippose to say i am going to give up smoking cuz phlegm build-ups aren’t worth it Anymore……..meh –The day i wake up in the morniN’ and Koff up sum tar, is the day I give up smokin’

Today, December 6/00– is the ann. of the montreal massacre.

I want for xmas a vintage bathing suit, ciRca 1920-1930’s to hide my snatch hair so i won’t have to shave down there, ever-ever again. I want for it to be a sparkly navy blue. Oooh, with a matching bathing cap, to boot. yeh. real swell. Hawt-diGGity.

There’s this guy who kums into h.h. quite often in the a.m. He had a Lobotomy two years ago. He woks thru the whole store, going up and down every aisle, looking at every product in-depth. Since he’s had a chunk of his brain removed, it’s eFFed-uP his memorY a tad so, everytime he comes in the store, for him it’s like the very first time. That’s why he takes so long looking at everyDamNthing. He scares the other customers away. I always avoid him cuz he rambles on and on about sum hardware store his dad owned and when he was a lil boy he worked in it. I made the mistake once of smiling and nodding my head. Never again. He never buys anything. The woman who watches over him and all the other whackos he lives wif gave us her number to kall if he gets out-of-hand.

I did two stoopid things today:

I tried to tie my shoe on the streetcar during rushHour when it’s all crowded with bodies. While i was down there in a semi squatting-dawg position, the streetcar turned the corner, I tipped over onto my side and fell into this old lady’s feet. My pants got all wet and dirty and everyone got all pissed cuz my fall made them shift and have to touch one-another. hmmph, i sez.

As mentioned previously, I consumed a fries Supreme frum Taco SmeLL at 10 am. Oversight on my part.

The coffeeshop which i frequent on Parliament St. is filled wif hot lookin’ people who have this gritty, rockstar edge. I think i go there so often cuz it seems like a fine pLace to ‘mac those of the opposite sex. Yet, then i remember all the straight guys are Oogly and all the hot ones are gay. Sumtimes i am hopelessly stupid. Ahem. Don’t get the wrong idea, I am no homoPhobe. sum mite call me a fagHag. whuddevir. Fags are Fun.

I’m finding out rite about now, why it’s not a gud idea to scarf down a fries supreme, three lattes, a greek salad, coke, and hit a Chinese Buffet all in one day. Oooogh. This is how Ward and I celebrated his birfday:

He picks me up frum kipling station, drives around aimlessly until i figger out whut i wanna eat, we go to chinese buffet, Afterwards i buy hairdye, we go to his howse, Ward dyes my hair. THe End.

On sunday (yesterday? hrrmm) at home hardware, i had to kall this other location and ask if they had the Sanyo soundsystem that wuz on sale in the flyer, but i kalled it a ‘ghettoBlaster’ insted of a ‘soundsystem’ and the grrl on the other line was like,
“Doii, wuzzA GheetoBlaster!?”
sheeet. stoopid sheltered girl. Don’t even remember the barbie and ken and their black chikk friend when they went b-boy style and each had their own ghettoBlasters. barbie’s wuz pink.

Tomorrow is Ward’s b-day. Happy Birfday, ward!