whatever fuckwads who think self-loathing is out. well, it is i guess, but you know, FUCK YOU. it’s not that someone like me is all yah my condition lends me the ability to SEE and KNOW the truth, that shitty copout all cynics give you. bullshit on that. it’s only a wall, you feel, is there. and you’re always different than everybody else and you always hate everybody else and everybody else pretty much always hates you. ‘specially if you reside in a suburban rich kid town and refuse to dye your hair blond. every girl fights here and wants to fight me. uuuuuuuuh-ok. it’s obviously because i am so pretty. pfft.
those shoes are so dirty. ok so the red stripe thing didn’t exactly turn out the way it was suppose to. the bleach/dye only took to my roots so i have red roots, about two inches worth in the front and everything else is black. it looks alright i suppose. yesterday my boobs felt bigger than usual. i’m glad the weather is changing. i think i’ll start writing my bookthing again, and make it less crappy, and wah wah i’m miserable and depressed and all i ever do is eat macaroni and do laundry. it’s kinda funny reading shit from the past, pre-nervous breakdown steez and actual diagnosis of bi-polar manic depression, but you/i/they all knew something was severely wrong. so it’ll be funny, in a sad kinda way to start writing again and be all yah, guess what, i AM bi-polar and yes i am still, very, very, messed up.
it takes me five napkins to eat a piece of pizza. this woman at the pharmacy was like nice shirt it’s so eighties i remember when i wore stuff like that..but i never thought i’d be part of a fashion cycle. i’m like is that a diss or what? whatever hasbeen in your shitty black wannabe-cosmetician cloak of drabness. i’m going to put red streaks in my hair and not bother to dye my blondy roots. it’s the new nu.
i also bought pink bunny ears.
The Contortionist Handbook says:
YO!!!!
The Contortionist Handbook says:
you had a dream about a talking dog??
The Contortionist Handbook says:
SO DID I!!!!
The Contortionist Handbook says:
wow.
The Contortionist Handbook says:
it was the most regal and beautiful cocker spaniel, and it had the voice of Della Reese, that negro star of “Touched By An Angel”
raymitheminx.com says:
woah
raymitheminx.com says:
minewas one of those big stupid nothing dogs
raymitheminx.com says:
last nite i had a crazy dream about this old fat perv who was molesting all of us with giant dildos
raymitheminx.com says:
i dream about that shit a lot but am too embarassed to talk about it
The Contortionist Handbook says:
mine was wewrid
The Contortionist Handbook says:
cause like
The Contortionist Handbook says:
she asked me to find her children
The Contortionist Handbook says:
but i couldbnt find them, they died
The Contortionist Handbook says:
so the dog started crying
The Contortionist Handbook says:
and i woke up sobbing
The Contortionist Handbook says:
hahahaha
raymitheminx.com says:
hahahahahahahhahaahha
The Contortionist Handbook says:
true story
raymitheminx.com says:
mine was sort of a love affair, i derno
The Contortionist Handbook says:
HAHAHAHA
HAha
The Contortionist Handbook says:
ahahahah
The Contortionist Handbook says:
typical
raymitheminx.com says:
no kidding
raymitheminx.com says:
im taking the what pulp fiction character am i quiz. if it isnt uma ill be so pissed
The Contortionist Handbook says:
hahahaha
The Contortionist Handbook says:
you want to be her, loser
raymitheminx.com says:
no
raymitheminx.com says:
yes
raymitheminx.com says:
yay i got mia
The Contortionist Handbook says:
of course you did.
raymitheminx.com says:
shutup
raymitheminx.com says:
talk about more interesting stuff so i can put it in my bloooooooorg
finally saw kill bill and thought the whole way through about how much uma’s nose looks like my nose and her damn bangs and all that jazz. man. i like how all that blood just explodes out of ‘em when they’re all slashed up. love it, love it.
this guy keeps writing me and saying how shitty my writing is.
anyway, i had this dream that i had a talking dog and it told me it didn’t like the name i gave it and it use to be a girlhuman in a past life and it was abused and then i was driving a truck and it got all smashed up cuz i was chasing after this damn abused dog and the car was idling and then the room i had in this house had a square hole in the floor that led down to a well and these creepy red biting bats lived down there so i boarded up the hole but i could hear them trying to fly out of there to kill my dog.
there’s a hole exactly where my buttcrack is on these pants i’m wearing and i don’t have underwear on.
My Alcohoroscope
ARIES – Drinking style
Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometimes don’t know when to call
it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing-time shot
contests. They’re sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after a
couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk is a good way to get what you
want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can become bellicose when
blotto, but they will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if
not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be counted on to do the same for you —
so long as you haven’t gone and done anything really horrible to them last
night, you sneaky Gemini.
Trademark cocktails
Aries, born under the hot-stuff planet Mars, is the ruler of spicy food and
red things — and for balance, astrologers recommend they eat tomatoes,
onions, olives and greens. That’s right, Aries, you were born under the sign
of the bloody Mary. Aries also rules grapefruit, and they’ve been known to
kick back a salty dog and a sea breeze or two. For extreme hotcha, try a
concoction with cinnamon liqueur in it.
Drinking buddies
Marlon Brando, Lawrence Ferlinghetti, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Al Gore, Thomas
Jefferson, Elton John, Eric McCormack, Rosie O’Donnell, Sarah Jessica
the new friggin vice cd that is free and a compilation of various artists is so hot. it’s key. i said that hat is so gay in front of a gay salesclerk today. so hung. spent a million dollars on queen street. my dad backed into my friend’s car in the driveway. i think i need to sleep. i can’t find my sleepmask. i dropped so much shit today during lunch. some girl told me to watch where i was going yesterday and wanted to fight me kuz i fell into her and i lied and said someone pushed me. ha. bought a hotdog and couldn’t eat any of it. systems is renovated, finally doesn’t look like a dirthole.
