you know when everyone cheers each other they dont really want to clink glasses they just want to raise ‘em in the air but then one dumb idiot succumbs and clinks their neighbour and then everyone is forced to do the same and you have to lean way way over to hit everyone in the room and if you’re missed during the round of clinking then you are a big loser.

i have done nothing but be a retarded sketchbag today and mumble unintelligible anecdotes over everyone else talking and pouring myself wine and telling stories that don’t go anywhere.

sometimes i feel like i am talking from underneath a pillow.

my grandmum does not know who the fuck i am. she’s like what’s your name uh luh-ren i’m your granddaughter oh you are? yeh i am. that place is fucking depressing. just a sea of old people asleep at the dinner table in a sitting position. and gramma is such a lush. jeez. she thinks she is in england and her husband is still alive but away in france or something and he never calls. if and when i get to be totally demented please push me off a cliff. thanks.

i’m trying to remember whatever the fuck i dreamt about last nite but as i sat on the toilette this morning i forgot everything. i’m still dreaming about crazy vibrators five out of seven times a week. i have relatives in town taking over my room so didn’t feel like rushing home to sleep on a old lady couch. they’re gone for the day so i’ll stop by later, do my thing-thang and leave again.

i’m staying at the ho jo’s on erin mills parkway under missy miu room 113. come say hi.

dude i blew it on the take out chinese. with our own sauce pfft that means boiled with salt but in actuality it’s a whole ‘nother story. more like brown cow goo that i am about to nuke and eat all over again.

when you see a girl’s gotchies on the floor do you pick them up and inspect the crotch?

You’re Fiji!

As calm, relaxed, and removed from life as they come, you’re just so

chilled out, it hurts people to see you.  Everyone aspires to be where you are, but

most of them just can’t put their stress away.  Little do they know that even you

sometimes have inner turmoil and struggles!  For the most part, though, it’s sun and

fun for you, and that’s the way you like it.  It’s just sort of hard to get things

done with all that partying.
Take

the Country Quiz at the href=”http://bluepyramid.org”>Blue Pyramid

something is effed with my blog

so we went to the mall early and played the who-would-you-rather-sleep-with
-that-fat-ugly-guy-with-the-pubestache
-or-that-beastly-monster-of-a-man-with-cowboy-boots-and-jeans-wedged-in-his-ass game and jesusface with his big mouth exclaimed that new york fries sucks and their new oil is shit and then this dude walks up to us all eerily chill and hands us these free fries vouchers and apologizes for being shitty. and ps just because they are free doesn’t mean they’re no longer crap.

i wish that every person i knew who has ever been an asstard to me in any kind of way would approach me and gimme something awesome and then apologize for being a big gay. but then again i would never ever do that myself. well maybe but i guarantee nothing.

i am chewing liquid centred watermelon gum right now but it is not as good as the hubba bubba kind. you know the one with the fluorescent green package, the one you bought when you started smoking cigarettes behind your neighbour’s backyard and had to hide it from your parents all hush hush but then sarah and andrea rat on you and their mum calls you and brooke and rena’s mum and you sort of get in shit but not really except for brooke ‘kuz her mum was a nazi. pfft.

so i got sort of a lobster tan today. awwrite. and got these lil green shorty shorts and i am obsessed with keeping an eye out for any potential camel toe-age.