special awesome squad
this one’s a bit, err ah um, you’ll see.
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EDIT: i just realised that he was the 32 year old, i guess i have to have my eyes checked anyhow, dude unless you gots cash and are good looking and funny do not bother, a 22 year old will not date a 32 year old unless you are babesville, sorry. anyway if you are and you’ve noticed her eyeing you then just be like hey lets grab some dinner after work, all casual-like, have some drinks and then take it from there.
her 22, me 32
so raymi, should i even be thinkin about this? seems to me kinda one of those grey areas but then again maybe it’s more into the black and white than grey.. i’m thinking that i’m not really thinking and just looking for a “go for it” sort of answer..
go for it women that age go thru a second adolescence and are super horny but can get crazy so be careful how did u meet
yeoow. she prolly is cause she’s been sneaking looks at my crotch here and there.. oh.. this is the other bad part. we work together – that’s how we know eachother. she just started last week or there abouts. my so called office is like 4 feet from her desk. she is really driving me crazy (the horny kind). Problem is i’m super shy. bah, whatever. I like your advice, thanks. any advice on how to approach her about all this? I was thinking it would be good to take it easy for a little while (she just started there) but the other single bastards in the office are already making a move.
oh well let her be passed around then unless you’re really into her and yeh she just started thats so gay everyones moving so fast that means she’s desperate also if she’s feeling that
hi
lily allen – smile
for all you lunatic bitches and shitty bastard boyfriends, totally watch this life lesson video and enjoy.
i just saw the break up and i cried a lot and then when we got up to leave i leaned forward too far and smashed the bridge of my nose into the seat in front of me and dragged/hit my entire nose against the seatback all the way from the momentum of getting up then i fell back into my seat and my eyes exploded into pain tears immediately and i yelled out and lise turns and is like what the fuck are you ok? and i’m just sitting there with my entire face covered in tears and my nose is totally red all the make-up scraped off and mascara running down my cheeks.
gay fucking gay.
remember how i use to complain about that faggy acoustic guitar music we could hear through the wall late at nite? yes it’s still happening but we’ve decided it’s some sort of gay relaxation tape or something. i guessed it might be some stupid hippie waterfall with one of those terra cotta on its side pots that pumps out music when it’s turned on and a bunch of foliage? the other nite i punched the wall twice they turned it down then turned it back on again then i found the wall’s sweet spot and fucking slammed it again three times.
ps the lady next door i saw her in the laundry room and she was wearing a ratty long t-shirt with holes in it and so worn that it was kinda see-thru and then she tried to talk to me.
i’m so use to everyone in this building being snotty to me that when someone actually acknowledges me i don’t know how to turn off automatic defensivity. yesterday this lady came out of the dentist and was going toward the elevator and i had all these groceries and she says I’M GOING DOWN YOU WANT TO RIDE WITH ME? and i just said NO turned around and yelled over my shoulders I’LL JUST TAKE THE STAIRS.
what the fuck was that who am i?!
well, she kind of barked the I’M GOING DOWN at me no hi no half-wave, fuck her. plus i had an armful of groceries and she only had to carry a thousand dollar change purse the size of my palm, oh no there lady i’m totally fine waiting in the lobby while you go down to the basement in a fucking elevator ONE FLOOR in fact, i’ll dig into my purse without dropping my bags and get the key to the stairwell and walk up a flight, totes no problem!
i don’t know why she couldn’t just walk down the stairs, it takes longer to wait for elevator and it wastes electricity. you know stairs still exist right?
lite brite fun
bored as hell?
EXCERPT FROM BOOK I AM WORKING ON NOT YET TITLED
Marta had a date last night!!!!$$&*& So Larry cooked! It was, uh, very Larry. French fries broiled in the oven, burnt and crispy, frozen peas and microwave macaroni. Somehow he managed to even fuck up the macaroni, so we ordered Chinese.
Then we watched Larry check his Myspace email and got trashed on Bailey’s. Larry projected his desktop onto the wall so we could recite all of his outgoing potential courtship responses in funny accents. Then we read my blog that way also, until we all had peeing-pants fits. Reading my blog wasted is pretty funny ‘cos I caps lock sentences for emphasis and my grammar is just terrible and lazy so when you’ve had several drinks everything is all jumbled and hurried and you are like what?
And then when you make your voice affected it’s ten times more hilarious, doooooooood.
Larry has a thing for Asian women, he’s got three different ones on the go and soon we will be meeting two of them. Separately of course.
One is 23! Her name is Minnie. Ha-ha.
The other one is 39! Her name is Desire. I am not lying.
A few months ago I mixed up these two other Myspace conquests of Larry’s so he had to dump them. He wasn’t too angry with me. He said it was good material for his screenplay.
“Larry, you’re writing a screenplay?”
“Yes, is that so hard to believe, Penny?”
“…”
“Ok fine, I’m writing a porn.”
“!”
“Ok fine! I’m putting it in the wank failure bank.”
So this time I know better not to get loaded and insist that I fully remember being told that < ___ > is the manager of her department in bla bla bla sales something boring tra la la and has two dogs, one named Cody the other named Myrtle. Man that was awkward.
Sam plays wingman, well, sort of, and I sometimes play spinster hag. We’ve decided Sam can’t really be wingman anymore ‘cos then Larry’s lady’s friend gets way into Sam and I get way into red wine and then I blow everyone’s cover.
Anyway after Myspace and blogs, we went home around one. I wonder how Sam’s hangover went for him today.
