sweat machine.

freaking out.

then rob was finally finished (he will just talk and talk and talk if you let him but it was good cos i was nervous and needed more time to hang with yankee jim) petitefashionista went afterward then i went last and all the nerves just disappeared the second i got up there i made everyone laugh quite a bit, they felt me and were impressed by my steez. some people fear public speaking more than death. fact. i tried to remember business classes and pretty much every single class ever how much i enjoyed giving presentations (when i was prepared for them) and talking for as long as possible.

then everyone got to see from where the magic happens. good thing it wasn’t hello kitty or lindsay lohan.

sean was a great help, he took some vids and snaps with his camera so you’ll have to wait on those. thanks guy.

all done so relieved, met many an interesting person afterward and exchanged cards, looking forward to future partnerships and maybe some more speaking engagements.

piece a cake.

more photos from the rest of the evening later.

i had 7 pages full of stuff i wanted to talk about and if i was nervous enough i woulda just read right through all of it in one minute. i think holding the microphone calmed me right down, at first rob was speaking without one then petite went up and she speaks so quietly someone asked if she could use a mic. i opened with my niche being for those who are 5’5 and up and everyone laughed, every time you get a laugh endorphins release. i used the term ‘cray cray’ then explained it meant crazy. more laughs. i was exactly myself and it all worked just fine. rob says i shouldn’t swear but what does he know every time i dropped an f-bomb or said shit everyone seemed to relax a little bit more. i’m not changing for anyone all those alleged non-existent grannies can blow me.

i can’t log into twitter and it is sad and what’s sad about it is the fact that i am actually sad about it. all i want right now is a little coffee distraction and to plunk some dumb links up in thur for my peeps. one top reason i dig the twitter is you don’t have to make an entire post just for some random thought that came to you just put it in twitter and then someone decides it was actually funny and they let you know BAM instant gratification. anyway, i’m makin’ time here when i should be showering but i am too nervous/pumped to get up off the couch yet. they’re touting me as a DIVA for this speaking engagement “Meet Raymi Lauren, the diva behind RaymiTheMinx.com” great so when i actually say something bitchy i won’t be able to escape that title. who decided on that i’d like to know. i mean, i can sort of sing but i’m not exactly mariah carey-like demanding. i have a handout for everyone, key points to go through as well as like 6 pages full of minutea charting my entire internet footpath. on the one hand should i be intimidated by these corporate business types or should i own it i mean, they’re coming to learn how to do what i have achieved. i am way over-thinking this. the weather isn’t helping either i was planning to bike over, just as well i suppose, easier to cab. biking with laptop is pretty annoying and painful and i show up hella more sweaty than just with my purse.

also what the hell should i wear for this???? PS. it’s 433 king st. west not 533

they’re still filming in our hood and a tent is set up in the park and we keep seeing hipster-types swinging on the swings. hipsters do not hang in this hood so they’re clearly cast members. fil zoomed in with his camera last nite on their faces to see if one was michael cera. so far no michael cera. i wanted to be like hey guys come hang out at our place the only stipulation is you have to bring michael.

Sean & Raymi discuss the issues from Sean Ward on Vimeo.

*i say internet celebrities are irritating – i meant celebrities WHO internet are irritating. i am an internet celebrity and i certainly am NOT irritating.

oh and i say “because they love themselves” – clearly wrong grammar oh um wait i mean i was talking street so it is totally acceptable. i say something pretty over the top during my vanity spiel that sean cut off cos it was too kanye west gw hates black people. chicken. sean not me, you know how i do. i say the shit then think a week later.

so much more where that came from.

credit to my bro UNAGI for use of an old time fave track shock and awe.

Aww sweetest email ever!

I’ve been reading your blog for a long time; It’s the only blog I read. Just wanted to say thanks.

Sarah

May’s not over yet so here’s the rest of the 2008 posts from last year!

what my hair will look like someday.

note to self: don’t try on swimsuits when suicidal.

and yes i feel like a prick for writing this, but sometimes i just have to say these things, on the internet, for thousands and thousands to read.

rum smoothie time in aunt raymi’s kitchen.

i let fil out by himself last nite, this guy was tres fatigue, FAT AND GAY, and wanted to stay in and not drink the alcohols.

i think it makes me look bigger than i am, back to my point of if you wear too big a size then you look bigger and not covered up at at all.

absolutely none of these dance moves are redundant. this video has been viewed over seven thousand times.

fil ordered it ages ago and kept it a secret from me all this time so the photos of me holding it are kinda creepy sorry maybe even too creepy for you.

wine we smuggled into the muvie and guess what it worked, i loved it! when it was over i threw it to the chairs beside us where the talking too much chewing popcorn with their mouths open couple sat, burn.

fart!

yeah that really panned out.

gave up on that one too.

i miss that shower curtain.

I WILL MEET YOU IN THE PARK AND FIGHT YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS.

i told you when i’m cocked the ego meter rests at ten

how to make shrimp cocktail sauce raymi’s kitchen video.

you’ll note that i am NOT playing the guitar in this, anyway, i am a raspy whispery shy ghost here because it was totally impromptu.

hey look, it’s me on shrooms dust and drunk and dancing from 2005!

totally miss those aladdin slippers.

so bob’s your uncle FIL YOU GOT ENOUGH SHOTS AND WE’RE DONE HERE.

brad wasn’t planning on having a big PARty (nfld pronunciation) but it turned into one anyway that’s for fucking sure.

rescue remedy review.

before the long blondes we slummed at the beer station and these guys were sitting across from each other lip synching to bohemian rhapsody

dear toronto HUG

look it’s me in a vintage ferrari!

yesterday was BRUTAL all day long fuzzy retard headed anyway blah blah my life is a party what else is new etcetera and so on.

don’t worry, i’m sick of me too. JUST KIDDING I LOVE ME!

what do you do for memorial day anyway, go through all of your memorialies?

some lost fred perry shoot pics.

meet jade!

a day with mum.

this is what time to go home looks like.

i feel old: sober movie laundry patio furniture nite yes!

omg what should i wear tonite guuuuuuys?

this post caused a huge fight.

MG at massey post.

in the words of kiki dunst, DEPRESSION NOT ADDICTION I SWEAR IT!

new purse new pants new dress new life

i got the sniffles yesterday from a dumb late nite patio move sunday evening then riding my bike home practically naked in the chilly wind, the sniffles are gone now and i think the possibility of a cold has sailed, phewf. i had to bail on tattoo’s i met the walrus book event last nite cos my nose wouldn’t stop running all goddamn day long i went through infinity kleenexes.

oh head’s up, tomorrow’s speaking engagement has outgrown the spoke club’s space so it’s been changed:The address is 533 King Street West in cool loft style space of ICON Home Design (owned by BlackLine Studio Parlour) It is the South side of King just west of Spadina. more info here.

This is the during the day thing that’s separate from the top 12 bloggers thing which will still be at the spoke club that evening.

i’m pretty nervous, i haven’t publicly riffed in a long time, i need to have steve martin on speed dial or that city tv guy. if they can suffer from anxiety and constantly perform then so can i right? i guess tomorrow we’ll see ha.

got a slew of new footage to work with featuring sean and i’s feelings concerning certain ISSUES. he should have a video up by a little later on today. update: he blogged behind the scenes yesterday’s stuffsicles.

i eat for a portion of filming it seems like the longest meal ever. when the server brought it to me she apologizes for giving attitude downstairs and it’s all caught PROOF i am habitually treated like garbage from bitches – it makes me look like mother fucking theresa, all humble and no problem abouting it haha.

my hairstyle changes at least 30 times too. something mesmerizing about talking and looking at yourself. don’t worry, we discuss vanity and i kinda go on a tangent a few times.

if you ever have to film something go to the green room upstairs during the afternoon.

jamie even makes a cameo as he called me at one point.

sinus clearing jerk what fil made.

me bummed cos i had to stay in (totally tired anyway so it was just as well).

ok back to speech-tweaking wish me luck!

lube hands.

dave came on his new motorcyclebikewhatever and i had to direct him to matt’s riding alongside him on my bicycle, pretty funny keeping pace with each other. we were going south so i had a bit of help with the slope and wind at my back.

when matt’s ran out of booze we went to the horseshoe, didn’t really plan on turning it into a nite affair but that’s how it goes, the flow. anyway, saw a total suburban jock type barf all over his feet at his table on the patio and all his loser friends surrounding him just ignored it, pints piling up all around the guy don’t you think when there are two full glasses your friend might have had enough and it’s time to bring him home? guys are such dicks like that.

obviously brosz7ky’s bbq was a giant success.

here’s a glimpse into my past. i partied with this thing quite a bit as a kid. my grandpa made it and over time my aunt added embellishments, renovating it along w the renovation of cedar grove the last summer before my grandpa died, using the same wallpaper adorning cedar grove’s walls, pieces of curtain too. sigh, time warp. so many fond memories of sundays spent at grandmas goin’ to town on this thing before hyper-spazzing it with my brother in the backyard after four glasses of pop.

i made a dollhouse wishlist photo set. i am seriously going to buy some of this stuff.

the furniture is pretty old school too, kinda art deco 70s i dunno.

most of these are quite blurry unfortch.

i am mad for miniatures.

i am so taken right back to childhood looking at that couch. my aunt told me this, ”
The wooden furniture that’s red and yellow, i.e. the couch etc., I got on Kerr Street at the hobby shop, I guess I was about eight or nine. So that would make it late fifties-early sixties vintage, and Scandinavian to boot.”

oh, ‘scuse us.

i always loved the mismatched furniture.

hmm i guess everyone moved out.

personal fave, most time was spent in the bathroom. see the border up there that’s from the same wallpaper in the upstairs bathroom at cedar grove.

then here of course. god that wallpaper has me in nostalgic zone big time.

now i just want to go buy a ton of dollhouse shit, i have a feeling i know someone who might also be into that quest.

ha ha i look so ridiculous posing like that when my niece is standing all normal.

those guys up there were havin’ a go with us, first saying no pictures then do we know the movie napoleon dynamite? yeah nice try dickweeds i’m pretty on top of things going on in my city i know what you’re filming here and ps. you’re just PAs piss off.

off to bday dinner at the bedford. fil’s tandoori chicken pizza mmmm.

pad thai still kills it.

birthday cake surprise! happy birthday once again xoxo. thanks for grandma’s kerchiefs too!

ooh nice.

i’ve been pretty homebody this weekend for multiple reasons and fil just wants to part-ay so i finally relented and said OK we can got for a walk (ha) to the movie store. we rented incendiary (michelle williams, ewan mcgregor movie) based on the book we both read, it’s good and painful plus the art imitating real life thing doesn’t get by you (her husband kicks it in the movie and well, you know the rest re: heath) anyway before we went home fil wanted to check out what the lab’s 3 dollar drink of the nite was. oh, tequila saturdays, that’s a wicked gamble seeing as it’s right beside the brunswick house (man i AM getting OLD) so i had one he had two, he wanted a third but people kept coming in and jamming around the bar and i have zero patience waiting for drinks. we got the window table seat and played cards, we even played 2 player asshole first with two hands each then divy’n up the deck halfsies, a lot of cards to hold man.

here is cid perving out

seriously, guy?