they have good taste in websites.
harley lets do lunch!
aside from looking all dragged out, can i pull this pareo dress off? (obviously) i’m wearing a shirt underneath so it looks a bit bulky, nudes is better.
hawaii is just around the corner. my aunt bought this from g’s, the money goes to support tibet. think i might wear it tonite. came with a diagram of ten different ways to tie it.
our money used to look like yours. then we decided to give strippers a rough time.
man, those were the days back when i was 5 yeah.
no worries, all game, straight ballin’.
BYE!
another britt dress. girl has two tupperware bins full of stuff, american thrills we can’t get here and she’s mulling over selling them online or wherever. i guess prepare for more me in dresses photos.
incidentally, fil hates this dress so i had to secretly wear it yesterday when he wasn’t around. what’s not to like? the pile of ruffles adorning the chest and shoulders? or the classic mom arms sleeve cut? precious.
oh shit here we go.
WIENER!
nice thigh bruise, it just gets uglier and uglier.
you can tie it in the front or in the back. probably in the back but i like it in the front cos i think it gives you more shape that way. makes you feel skinnay-er.
got to hear all about britt’s chin zit yesterday, do go on! i think it has its own postal code by now.
after bunging up our order by bringing us sushi (we ordered 2 sashimi deluxes) making us wait longer and prior to that explicitly saying NO seared tuna, they bring us seared tuna. they’re lucky they have the least fishiest tasting fish on the block. it’s true though, sushi/sashimi is the best laxative ever, read.
these flowers don’t even look real.
ahhhhhhh.
brad left britt flowers and that huge bear the other day. PUKEVILLE! it’s like that simpsons valentine’s day episode when apu was making all the springfield dudes look bad. (do you like how the only thing i have to compare real life/any experiences to is the simpsons?)
boner in the street dress just saying girls.
it’s a lot darker now, i took this tuesday and i just discovered a bruise on my ass. wicked. big brother on youtube in the background i have no idea why i’m so into those annoying turds, i spend way too much time thinking about them too i know! when i wake up or about to i’m going over all their stupid shit in my head, mulling over strategies, thinking about the jury house gaaaaaaaaaah can’t wait til it’s over.
ps. antm started, why do you think that jesus nut had to leave for “personal reasons” i mean which ones, being fucking insane, nervous breakdown?
also amazing is HAVIN A TIME oh god so many good lines.
donny dumphy rules thanks brad b’y!
ok so i don’t pluck my eyebrows, i shave those little bitches. i’ve been doing it years, it’s super easy and painless. all you do is use your boyfriend’s shaver, one that flexes, has a little spring to it so it curves to the roundness of your face. ghetto shavers are harder to work with, also, they ghetto. i do this every other day, sometimes i rough it and do it every third day cos that’s most fun to shave and easier to grab the stray stubbles, you know how shaving your armpits everyday is like impossible and pointless? anyway here’s a video showing how it’s done. remember to follow the shape of your brow UNDERNEATH (never shave on top, or pluck, you are asking for trouble if you ever remove hair from the top) trace along the brow like the arc of a rainbow while simultaneously pulling aside the upper eye fleshy skin park, making it easier to get at those hairs. enjoy! (enjoy me looking like rainman licking my dry lips in the beginning two seconds of this garbage).
i get eyebrow compliments lots so just figured i’d share the “secret”? my secret shame? how can it be shameful if the results are so increds? genetically i have great eyebrows, all i have to do is raze off the extra unwanted dudes growing in. who cares if it’s not the proper painful method. really, i’m the smart one here.
next i’ll show you how i shave my mustache! YEAH!
emo drive-in.
emo emo.
see how dead it was? long weekend maybe or just, no one cares in the city?
brewsky.
full moon.
zit nation.
is that called irony? probably not.
lets take a better look. i think it’s called FUNNY AT THE TIME.
oh whatever.
i love the toy museum section in the supermarket by dave’s cottage. nothing ever leaves the shelves.
think i’ll do all my christmas shopping here.
asshole cape for the president, dave’s childhood costume.
as if any of this could be in order.
oh sage.
both lovely and effective.
nose plugger.
somehow, total mystery, every bag of chips were annihilated on the first nite, well all the ones i wanted to plough through anyway.
paula abdul asshole hat upon closer inspection is more latoya jackson.
tons and tons and tons of photos of beer mountain’s evolution.
pineapple express fowl-up.
natural.
dave took my advice and claimed that jacket for himself.
not allowed to ride this thing due to “cottage politics” ugh.
so attractive.
fil’s new shirt, same design on the back. HOT.
whups i fucked up your line. sorry.
evidently i am pretty concerned about it.
what could you possibly be taking a picture of now?
good call.
who cast these people and styled them? a triangle?
yes this is like jenga, only shittier. the die was missing. i have no idea if it came first or jenga.
the guys sabotaged me, i go to all the trouble of digging that stupid game out from under the stairs, wiping the dust cobwebs and dead spiders off it and one round it’s toppled from their (purposeful) shoddy block placement yeah ok fine lets all go back to alienating me with your fucking mafia wars never-ending discussions instead. so fun!
and why is this hedgehog a slut? eyelashes, eyeshadow, really?
and who dismantled my geese orgy?
i tried, shit doesn’t fit me.
wildly hung. i got fil to get me breakfast to go and i ate it lying down in bed with my fingers on my pillow like a total champ. moments prior i was dreaming about eating waffles and blueberry sauce and butter and blam fil walks in the room with breakfast. hoovered!
i am a complete dough head today and i am now completely ravenous. i want to ski down a mountain of singapore vermicelli. the gym called me AGAIN, this time it was the owner’s assistant i’m like DUDE relax i’m comin’ in tomorrow when i work out i’ll give you the fucking thing he’s all (euro) really for appointment? i say what? he goes you’re already a member? YES GREAT BUSINESS ETHICS! why don’t these scientists harass britt as much as they’re harassing me i swear, they call me more than anyone and no i am not flattered. dealing with someone who’s kinda stupid when you’re feeling really stupid (hung) yourself is exhausting. anyway i’m getting a bunch of weekly passes to hand around so let me know if you feel like susan powdering it with me for a few and maybe joining my gym so then i can save money off my monthly fee, then you can and on and on the end I’M STARVING LETS GO FIL!
goodbye tan.
i am a winner.
and what do winners do? they win.
life is good right now.
so i passed out in the car with caked on blood. wicked. wait’ll you see my thighs and knees.
just before it happened.
ok now wash your eyes out here use this.
and this.
this too.
the owner of my gym is getting on my last nerve. i have to give them a void cheque so they can take my money every month, fine yeah i get that but why can’t they learn a little patience, i haven’t been to the burbs to retrieve the withdrawal form (same thing as void cheque) yet but will be in a couple hours, it was just the long weekend i’ve been busy ugh stop phoning!
+++
on october 10th i’m hosting a party with shake a tail so save that date. should it be cougar themed? anyway whatever come come come i have a secret message for all who confirm that they’re attending.
ps. only TWO people have sent in photos for my cutest photo contest, is there something wrong with you guys or something? just checking.
