ahh just one-ah ‘dem days. late for blog hot tub roof sun party, it was a late one last nite. hopefully the last for awhile. i plan to detox this week. for the billionth time i’m behind i’m behind. the sunny weather is to blame. now here i am painting my toes singing my gorgeous little heart out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Y-kmFgggNk

this thing makes my body look a little weird. maybe i can shrink it.

and by weird i mean STACKED.

should i even bother with makeup today?

somewhat preserved from last nite but only if i am standing in a sunbeam. if in shadow, you do not want to see this business.

olympia.

nice little crotchety bulge area.

this facial expression is getting under my skin big time. it’s so, beachy?

arrogant.

prick.

hmmph.

six in the morning looks like this.

melodie has indulged my penchant for little things, she made me this mini origami shirt out of a gum wrapper.

i’m finding glow in the dark stars in the most absurd of places. some randomly fall from the ceiling here and there. i am an adult.

hi lucas.

from sadie’s. mmmmm. yesterday i was a garbage disposal, consuming non-stop.

bye for now friendsbians.

click here to buy tickets to our blog talk seminar party social media barf explosion. want to know how i became the unstoppable dickhead i am today? want to see and hear me bulldoze through some motivational if i can do it you can do it jargon? tell your employer to send you to this thing, they’ll cover the tickets. how many boomer generationers KNOW social media is the future (today) but don’t know what the fuck it is or how to navigate through it? it’s like learning to attach something in email but ten times more elusive to them. we’ll hold your hands through it. or just think of it as a bender. that’s how i do.

eventually you’re gonna have to get over yourselves and the whole blog stigma, more so, the raymi blog stigma. cos i know you wanna be friends, and i’m pretty friendly so…

i’ll be wearing this beauty tonite.

this is from an ex-bf.

Hey lauren,
Hope you are doing well.
I am currently in thailand and i was in the internet cafe today, and
someone was surfing your site.
just thought i would pass on the info that you are popular in S.E
asia. (where arent you popular?)

Take care.

a serious fake chat. taken seriously.

hawha so lusty. next time when i tell you to meet me at ronnie’s, leave the campfire hoodie at home. thank you sean.

i am in this book. (no i’m not).

word. and wouldn’t you know which aunt arrived yesterday?

number one party buzzkill: being taken aside and informed of a suspicious looking device in the men’s urinal, with buttons, a contraption of sorts and an exposed canister. it was our air freshener thing but still turning your head ’round the corner when you’re expecting to see a bomb then you see something that fully looks like a bomb, ack! i almost ran right the fuck out of there down the street. it was funny that the guy who told me was super cute and i was enjoying checking him out all nite only to realise he wasn’t straight, dancing hotly with his bf, i get over him just in time for him to bomb scare me. awesome.

this just in: i am limber.

raymiing up the place.

so many friends came in last nite to see old raymi. like a revolving door of past, present, and future. i love you guys. another friday in the pan oh man, best one yet i’d say. got cut early and stuck around to get plastered, first time as a patron. so fun. so fucking unbelievably fun. girl to guy ratio was like a billion to one. pretty much guaranteed to go lesbo by month’s end no avoiding. speaking of, we’re going to have a party for my birthday at the central and you are invited. bring your dancing shoes. i was apprehensive about having a party and being sad no one would come, or care. i have no expectations cos they never get met. no one ever plans me a party or a surprise one because they assume i have all these contacts i’m hoarding that they can’t get to, to invite? yeah nice excuse and you can’t very well plan your own surprise party. SIGH. also i’m too old to be whining about this shit now anyway. so i was planning to say nothing then be futuristically pissed off and bitter holding out for some last minute something that will never fucking happen OR maybe just go away for a week. whatever. there it is. what should i do?

casie took this one.

Hello Hello, my name is Jason B, Im a fourth year anthropology student at
York University. And I have two issues to discuss…

Your Friendly Neighborhood Anthropologist, Jason B

Totally down. My insight will make your project and you also just reminded me to contact high times.

old friend steve-o in town for work hooks his ass up with a penthouse suite at the castle, fuck yeah on my way over before the ice even has a chance to sweat.

brace yourselves to be bored vicariously via tedious photos and desperate captions.

i know steve through that guy i used to get with. haven’t seen steve since before the breakup heard ’round the world. feels like yesterday, feels like forever.

we hired a hooker.

if this is a penthouse suite then what the crap do the normal rooms look like?

lady gaga making us nervous. brit awards were on last nite. everyone was on drugs!

i was going to order pizza pizza then i realised duhh i’m in a hotel.

never impressed by hotel food. it’s like after they make it they send it through a make it shittier contraption on its way up to you.

be careful now you might have fun.

i got’cher fun right here.

look how pacified i am i miss tv so much. do you like my new hat? i should wear it to kilgour’s they’re habs fans over there.

fil is smiling because meredith said she told her mom a street joke he blogged. street jokes are what comedians refer to commoner’s jokes by that ‘oft get retold. what arrogant little tits eh? here’s a street joke, it’s me braining you.

no tip, you left your shirt on.

dreamer eyelashes. lady gaga made me state that if i were to ever host a raymi party with hired good looking chicks milling about for some reason, i’d make them have white feather eyelashes.

bad subject, good lighting.

was into the light square reflection in my pupils though i’m into everything so what else is new? nothing.

aaaaaaah-dorable oh shut up over there.

two can play at this.

man gossip is loads gayer than girl gossip and by gayer i mean boring and by boring i mean heard this story ten times already.

i’m so fucking fat right now. no really, my period is super duper late. i think it’s trying to align with all the new bitches’s in my life, my insane sleep schedule, perpetual stress and awful diet. i even took a preggo test yesterday to be sure and boy what fun those three waiting minutes were. i think it might be time to finally swap out my iud for a new one before i become infertile or lose my period forever?

yoga time.

forget what this one’s called, haven’t wii fitted in awhile. the spine stretching blood rush to head black out inducing no dignity neck paralyzer?

time for obliques. it’s the plank. well it was until some asshole decided to slam me into the bed. that wasn’t supposed to come off as sexy as it just did.

hold this for as long as possible. both sides. a good thirty seconds per is fine. don’t do it on a soft bed cloud though you’ll just crumple into it.

try for twenty seconds then you wimp.

beatrix potter clock awwwwww.

subtle refill motivator.

trying to scare fat americans into starvation. can you follow it up with something on uggs and crocs and jogging pants please?

you’ve aged well.

party down.

time to go go.

oh stop it liars you love the attention. you are full of bull shit covered in dog shit wrapped in horse shit rolled in elephant dung etc etc and so on.

and see, what we have here is honesty. refreshing, ain’t it.

bye bye thanks for making me feel poor and for making meredith feel like pretty woman. then we went to 7-11 for taquitos (bad new intro to uh oh) candy and chips, inhaled everything over a brew at the done right then called her a nite.

lamer pics what didn’t make the cut can be found here.

in case you didn’t know what cold lampin‘ looked like, this is fuckin’ it! remember who brung you the cool. not anyone other than me. “To just chill out and relax usually sittin on a nice fat blunt. I’m lampin’ in the Hamptons like, “What the fuck is a hammock?” – Lil Wayne”

now here’s a close-up for the people in the back.

alright, enough of that.

this is what an anxiety attack looks like. striking.

great biz pow wow lunch after i already ate lunch. proof of how single i am, me and my valentines chocolates about twenty days after the fact. oh shopper’s discount rack how you make a fool outta me.

lube run!

why you gotta take triple A batteries? annoying. no buy.

cute buy for me. one sticker for my laptop and one for the kitchen door at work. new journal to remind myself to write more often.

shhhquiet something cute is about to happen.

now again, not done.

i woulda got into it more if everybody wasn’t being all conservatively judgy over there jesus. you work in condom shack, you have a fucking stripper pole. way to be encouraging.

thanks you too.

really what you should be defending is how much of a hard-on you are.

i have so many feelings right now look at me gooooooo.

and now i will continue work on my postsecret ripping opus. just checking in making sure you don’t forgets me.

the only thing old about this is you.

hello good day just a few things i wanted to discuss with you.

one, i ate a hard boiled egg in bed yesterday because my life is like the movie amalie.

i feel like a hard boiled egg on your bedside table is probably the most adorable thing in the world. prior to it i had tapioca pudding. i know, sorry for breaking your heart.

and when you’re a gorgeous shit for brains, well, you can pretty much do anything you want.

melodie’s midterm is finally over we celebrated last nite at ronnie’s.

then i baked a cake.

have you guys seen this video yet?

now read the following!

Heya,

Short and sweet. Unfamiliar Records 5th Anniversary Party is this Friday, March 5th.

It’s kind of a weird spot called Cryptic Canvas hidden behind a building off of King & Portland, should be fun.

Just in case here is a google map link so you can see how to get there: http://bit.ly/cPJdsX

This is our only show until the EP release party, which will be mid/late May.

Unfamiliar Records 5th Year Anniversary Showcase

Friday, March 5th
Makeout Videotape (Vancouver)
RatTail
Stop Die Resuscitate
The Two Koreas
DJ Mikey Apples

$5 – 8 Waterloo Terrace (Cryptic Canvas – King/ Bathurst behind Living Lighting on King)

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=302357857890&ref=ts

Hope to see you there,

Lucas PUCAS.

ok bye now i have to clean the jizz out of my bangs and go meet casie sean and carly to discuss our blog seminar thinger. though i don’t really know what to discuss aside from ok when am i on and how long do you need me to say a lot of nothing for? just kidding i’m jazzed. and drunk still.

now that winter is practically over it’s about time i found these babes. one is bigger than the other, each was knitted by a different person. v apropos for my demented world.

i love you.

she’s an extra small, still loose. yes we know that’s the style but i still wanted it tighter. we’ll make do.

a small, glad didn’t give in to my ego and select an xs. thought it was a dress. so isn’t. you’ll see.

my samurai transformation has begun.

dreamy. i don’t know what appendage that little copper thing is.

so nautical right now.

finally picked up all my clothes off my tickle trunk floor. that rug from ikea is the perfect fit, forget how much it was.

black socks, sexy town.

not one good pic came out of this yesterday. too much sun, not complaining. just will be needing a new location for my outfit shots. think i’m going to hang my red velvet drapes on those doors so it’ll lessen the appears to be living in squalor effect and the browns will all match on the windows.

shag dog bangs: the poor woman’s face lift.

so not a dress. maybe on a teenager.

damn i had fantasies of black tights legs for miles but now i’ll have to throw a skirt or some shorts into the mix which will take away from the streamlined-effect i was hoping to go for. i know sass would just go ahead and wear this with tights. love her bravery. fuck it, black leggings it is. welcome to ass town. population: still got it.

adorable puffy sleeves. robot pose. idiot.

i’ll take better pictures some other time. maybe i’ll wear this friday.

totally practical new (vintage) jacket. 15 bucks. it’ll do me fine come spring, which will last two weeks then it’s summer ahhhh. i don’t know one girl who isn’t horny for spring like a motherfucker right now.

you are going to be so sick of this necklace.

and the whole nautical thing is up there with owls. why am i so ashamed of trend-following? thanks hipsters. there are so many things i have outright avoided playing along with because of the social connotations that go along with. scarves for one. gladiator sandals, which i would kill it in cos i have teeny ankles. i can’t think of anything else right now also this just in, who cares anymore? ME! FOREVER!

making friends already.

and that is all i have to say about that for now.

this makes me smiiiile. with my eyes. SMIZE!

i bet tyra banks regrets the hell out of that one.