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come with me to my cast party. it goes something like this.

With Her is a story that personifies the juxtaposition of a love that is contrived and a love that is real. Love, where would you find it?

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the script editor/cowriter and associate producer (emer) and i and a red velvet rope OMG IT’S THE BIG TIMES NOW PEOPLE.

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a photostory about a cupcake the teacher ate, that i missed. boo hoo.

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it was dark and bumpin’ & cupcakes were everywhere. two kinds. red velvet. ahh gad.

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half my makeup didn’t show up til britt did. i wanted to apply the lower half of my eyes when i got there in case allergies ran amok. they didn’t and i didn’t put my mascara wand in my purse. that’s the red velvet cupcake. gooey icing. we shared it.

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it actually tasted like healthy icing, homemade.

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gahh i’m so matte. that’s gerson, story/cowriter/creative consultant. i can’t make sense of the imdb who did what now huh who?

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i’ve never been inside cherry cola before. it’s gorgeous.

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i’ve always been team coke. so classy.

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team a-hole too.

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colleague bid on the bull, drove the bidding up. lost in the end i think. i haven’t heard about my bid so i guess i lost.

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dude in the hat i will be boning in the movie. i better not look like an amazon beside him, well, i’ll be on top ha. we’re the same height i am probably a little taller. i measured. the starvation began yesterday. organic wine shared a half litre. but i did have a billion malt balls. kris on the left is also a producer/director, or both i dunno don’t ask me i am the talent and colleague is telling me to check imdb/fb/website so i checked but see a billion different contradicting things along with what i have already learned previous. ACK! UPDATE: about the adorable film makers.

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the next time you see a still of us together it will be in a wholly different setting and atmosphere. i have twenty days to go skeletor and to keep face tidy and young.

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time to dance.

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actually no, time to bid.

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it is v magic pony. all the stickers are from pink lady apples. sigh. they say PINK LADY on each one with a pink blob. DARLING.

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damnit i forgot to grab a shirt.

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kris’ sister, left, (forward thinking) wanted a photo with me aw. short hair is the lead, good looking group.

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the party was very blonde friendly.

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are you %$^@^ kidding me? i walk over here bravely in front of all the wallflowers and THIS is the only photo from this moment that you put up? not happy.

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and this too? none prettier? i hate it when man photographers put the best sharpest photo inconsiderate of the female’s feelings or wants, F*CK YOUR ART! (brosz7kowski is MAJORLY guilty of this one) give me the prettiest vampiest and don’t make me repeat myself i don’t care if you captured an oboe’s shadow exquisitely.

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i spied queens of the stoneage license plate.

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and rotate this one properly next time OMFG DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING AROUND HEHREH11!

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THEN, JUST AS WE WERE ABOUT oops yelling still haha, so just as we were going to leave cos the teacher had three vodka sodas in an hour, or four? these dweebs show up, so then the teacher had his fourth and i wanted to have real dinner. we stayed to party some more instead, grand idea.

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haven’t seen britt in ages. they were stir crazy craving the city and brad was my favourite kinda drunk, bordering on newf drunk, belligerent surly and snickery which opens up the raymi zinger floodgates. my specialty. i composed entire songs about brad’s stupidity and masculinity. i am the best “one of the guys” girls there are you know.

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she’s on her tip toes.

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see? thought you’d sneak that one by me eh? no chance shrimp.

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prepare to see more of this. nxne is right around the corner.

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the artist of the painting i didn’t win.

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look how rock of love i am.

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looks like someone went to get some air.

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stalkervision. look at how obsessed with me teacher is.

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i am not a handful.

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i am dancing through time face.

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oh hey there dance partner.

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elegant and courteous.

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great dress.

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britt said she saw people making fun of us, she is more paranoid than i am but that doesn’t mean she’s wrong. meh.

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and then we were off.

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thanks for the good times!

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laaazy adorable. all these two do when we hang is lament for the old days when we were all giver’ing together. they cannot let it go meanwhile partying s staring you right in the face right meow. relax dudes this is going to be the best summer ever.

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hahah perfect had no idea about these gems.

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i was like hey retards get over here please i want to do a beatles album cover a la sargeant peppers. took forever to make it happen. kay bye bye have to get ready for the ping pong party at burroughes building for spin toronto i don’t know what the f*ck. two words: gift bags.

want your event covered like this? RAYMI@RAYMITHEMINX.COM

cleaning update: midway point. maybe i’ll let him do the rest. need more hangers. there is dog and cat hair everywhere even in my soul. going through sunday’s pics and loving them. ok pooch time, coffee time, then blog time.

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greetings from planet luxury stress. no blogging today until i tidy up this sty. do you want a cat? who wants a cat? i was just going to text the teacher that we are giving a cat away but then they started being friends and licking each other on the couch and my heart broke, therefore if you want all these pets (me included) VACUUM THIS M*THERF**R ASAP.

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ps. no makeup, all beauty.

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this was my grocery shopping outfit yesterday these shirt/dresses are perfect for chocolate consummation while speed-walking and cramping.

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we went to bed at ten it was the only way i could stop eating. i made jerk turkey sausage. i bought soy sour cream and it made me want to puke. never again.

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ok brb and when i do i will either be angrier or happier. lookin’ forward to it!

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this is how REAL i look when allergies have their way with me on a saturday afternoon, starving, hungover, depressed from the weather, emo from the hangover, stir crazy from how long it took to get out of the house to this chain resto for slug-like service, baby how tired do i look? LIE TO ME OR I WILL JAM THIS LIME WEDGE INTO YOUR EAR.

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my two favourite nails were on the end, pink and ring finger. pinky broke and ring finger cracked, it always does. it’s ok though cos when i’m hyper-focusing on that hand the other one is growing and then i pay that one attention. people nurture their obsessive tendencies into full-blown enough already status. i’m doing a hand aging watch.

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i love liberty village.

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in case the students forget who he is when he wears contacts.

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whenever i throw white peach crystal light into a drink i’ve practically ruined (saves every drink every time) that drink is then known as a BLOOD CLOT. yum. if we had grey goose here we’d call it a grey clot. ew.

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luckily we got our sunshiney day on sunday.

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pretty soon i will be needing a sunblock sponsorship. did you know how pricey that stuff is? i didn’t cos i never wore it before, only makeup on my face would be my defence.

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and i am refusing to tan my back.

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i have to call brennen.

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i should go water my friends.

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i made a beautifully resourceful salad, using the leftover rice from that burrito i bought on friday as well as the sour cream.

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got it together for the fundraiser jam at cherry cola. it was a really fun time. it involved eating and art, i bid on something, i think i won it too?

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the two B’s showed up afterall changing the course of action for our evening, which likely would have resulted in more eating. well it did but not in the form of in a restaurant as sundayte night tradition, i think eating period in restaurants is tradition enough. this fatty has to restrict and stick to it. today so far so good. is baking your own chicken wings a healthy idea? i think so. we could grill them OMFG why haven’t we started using the bbq yet? oh cos we’re lazy degenerate slackers that’s why.

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tsk tsk the teacher smoked. britt and brad are bad influences, enablers.

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i have a nude version of this. i am trying to tame this place up, should i? would doing that make people visit more or less often? i think i will be labelled as p0rnography until the end of time cos of all the garbage vocabulary on my blog so it doesn’t matter if i go topless. i pictured myself as a 56 year old tanned weird nudist poking around my estate unsexily cos often when i’m puttering around the house naked it’s nowhere remotely near lewd, or sexy it’s just, so papa of me.

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maybe a solution in the future will be for me to show up 25 minutes later after everyone’s been seated but then i will just do the math in my head for the food still not being there +25 minutes so, no point. plus part of the fun is everyone stir crazily staggering and dragging one another in the streets finally out of the house. once in awhile you have to do the ok i’m leaving. ok i’m waiting outside. are you getting annoyed right now thinking about it? i am. it makes you hungrier and angrier and crazier like you were held in a pirates of the caribbeanesque cage for years and centuries it’s amazing how humans can go hostile barbaric so easily. i am the perfect candidate for a movie starring crazy jungle beast woman creature warriors especially if they coincide it with my period. i could be one of the monsters from the descent OMFG HOW SCARY IS THAT MOVIE so scary.

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i am the most beautifat girl in the world. see how i was svelte this morning but a grenade here? i think i was constipated all weekend long. yum. anyway when you’re rocking bloat you have to go prettier. i needed to distract with dazzle camouflage, enter wolf dress melodie made from a large wolf tshirt.

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i already need to clean the balls of my necklace. when i think of this necklace i think of bison burgers and get hungry (we went to stampede immediately after buying it to eat) and i cannot separate the two. i am an eccentric wizard of asininity.

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golden girl shot. shoulda given more neck. next time tyra.

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i dressed like william wallace.

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i turned some heads. like in the exorcist.

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too much wide face. a month of sobriety would fix that.

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my roots coming in make my cut look punk. ew. i am partial to ladygirl.

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i like this bread bag tie art. i like anything outlined, simple everyday objects one can easily identify. that’s how i started painting, with popsicles.

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i think courtney bought this.

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wilhelm bought this.

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emily this.

gave this to my dad. anyway, as is plain to see, people like simple and their knowledge in art is, minimal. hahaha sorry. i’ll do a post of all my art one day.

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better photos of this event coming up.

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she’s eating again.

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fast forward to here.

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always have a younger version of you around to keep you young and on your toes. it helps if they are even more neurotic than you about aging and fat, makes me feel normal. i just saw a girl run by now i want to run to the supermarket. i think i will. i’ll call my dad to say hi first. maybe i could do that while running?

a message from the leader from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

and for good measure here’s a mini mirror blogger vortex video.

i can’t stop laughing at this.

addicted to siamese from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

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me this morning i liked my hair, knew it would get matted from working out.

what was that sh*t you were talking about me again? that’s what i thought.

haha.

(ps. he’s lying, that is not as simple as you think it’s gonna be).

i love that TMR keeps it fresh and inventive for me. i love the variety, the team work and creative challenges, pushing myself, reaching goals, strengthening myself of mind, body, spirit and enduring a good hour of physical intensity. i even went for a jog with the dog today after all this. andrew said i did more working out today than i normally do, it’s the heavy weight competition that pushed me to go harder. makes you feel great. i was ready to give’r after eating a billion chicken wings on saturday and cupcakes at cherry cola last night and we finished one of those big bags of popcorn i made fun of the other day, like homer’s 6 foot long sandwich. the world stopped until we finished that bastard off and now it’s behind us so lets forget all about it please.

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more of friday. yesterday was a complete write off, in part thanks to friday as well as the craptacular weather. all i wanted to do was watch teevee anyway so it was fine by me.

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always lovely to share the roof with another platinum blond in a bikini.

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the longer she stayed the harder it was to leave. she was somehow going to go home then trek back for robyn. yeah, no chance there buddy, the sun, the open bar, the friday. it was hard to crank out the shitty posts what i did i was holding my breath the entire time and then blam done publish. blogging is a full body job sport. haha fully.

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i have to exercise for it. i lie down blogging and don’t move for hours it’s incredible how fast you feel like you have rickets. think how many hours you sit in an office chair, same thing lying down bobsled styles, no, luge?

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i am going to go bikini shopping soon this is ridiculous.

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speaking of ridiculous i am kind of f–ing ridiculous hostzillaface now. i go big. teacher will text don’t go overboard then a few hours later he’ll receive “going overboard” i am addicted to planning buying displaying tidying then doing it again. it’s a form of escapism, like blogging, like any sort of activity or hobby. why do you think there are so many toronto fc fans? to get away from wives or to drink. we cannot go out to eat when a game is on because the people who spill in to the hood, that essentially was constructed just for them, there’s nothing wrong with these people it’s just the number of them. why am i ranting about this now? we waited forever for chicken wings at smokeless joe’s yesterday, they arrived luke warm. luke warm wings. NOT YUM! we ate them anyway. they comped nothing. we went pre-fc rush and still they couldn’t manage it. not enough chicks on staff on the patio. kind of takes the fun out of your chicken wing activity when it turns into chicken wing rage.

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this was not planned. we always end up matching in some way or other.

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the revolution will be blogged. why is that saying the revolution will not be televised. snoop says it WILL be televised in plastic beach? i will listen to it now boy i wish i “knew” “things” looks like someone has a google vortex date coming up.

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i am sitting out here now and it is glorious. wasps are buzzing around me from the juice pitcher remains at casa lazy. i ain’t scared of those things (yes i am) they’re not hassling me yet.

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the non-break out face sunscreen i bought isn’t a liar, no zits. hallelujah. i can’t believe i spelled that right. now i will listen to that song. nah too downery. this is great though.

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waterslides at dusk, ghost-like.

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echo beach, when you go into molson amphitheatre/ontario place entrance, is branched off to the left instead of to the right, sand everywhere, volleyball nets, tents, wiiicked. my only suggestion is more porta-potties, especially in vip. one only? seriously? i held my wee all night long til i finally gave in, not fun, long line. teacher lead a pissing on the fence revolution, a story he retold a lot then i snapped yeah can you not do that in vip again or at least not storytell it THRICE thus forcing me to use it as material on my blog. another beer stand might be a good idea too the venue holds so many people, so many thirsty people.

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my legs are getting longer. i am lengthening. on wednesday at TMR i’m getting a half hour stretch sesh with kash. did you know it’s possible to actually gain height? from stretching. i’m gunning for two more inches.

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gay bachelor blog is stalking me. which is fine as i am a gay tranny icon. you’re no one til the gays say so.

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so i brought my own gay bait.

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one for both teams.

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some burnouts were on the scene too.

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it was like a beach party. WAS a beach party. wicked dewds.

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diamond rings was on before robyn. good tracks. dances all zippy. it felt like we were in a glitter bubble vortex, to the vibe of big primpin. aka amazing.

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inspiring to say the least. penny lane is back on the bandwagon again.

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what shows should i come to/got to/cover for NXNE? i have a (priority delegate) pass and i don’t plan to sleep i am going to use the f–k out of it this year and i want to go to every single party there is and i am going to cover it around the clock/week, for this i will also require a blog slave or two and a lot of ephedrine. just kidding that’s illegal in canada, i don’t think i’ve ever tried it. email: RAYMI@RAYMITHEMINX.COM if you want me to come to your band’s show, and no not in the cheap seats thereof, i want press/proof of your caliber too. it is my goal this festival to crowd surf at something insane and get a legendary photo of that. am i insane? maybe. will it be worth it? who knows (yes). do i ask questions out loud and answer them? yes.

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what a bizarre little witch boot, doc martens too. go leah.

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what country are we representing with this doc marten flag’s colours?

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one of casie’s alter(act out)egos is to be borderline artistic. lets banksy this city. banksy stewart. hey now. kinda catchy (we’re working on a nickname a la raymbo for her, bequeathed by yours truly).

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a magical evening. i danced all over our bench.

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view from vip bathroom of vip bar vipvivvpvivpvivivpvvivpvppppvvvippvip!

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hot blond in red shirt sneered at me/us then became my secret enemy, she was like a shit together version of cheryl, friends with sarah taylor, whom she is standing with in this photo. i am creepy. ahahhaa. a past piece of fish mingled through the vip crowd, too afraid to approach me. i kinda zinged his heart a little. funny dude. emotional baggage, lousy lay, never called each other again. he wrote and asked for my number after saying hi nice to see me, i said why didn’t you come say hi, he said too awkward i said totally. i was too smug to go over myself.

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shit showed over to lisa’s favourite restaurant. she wasn’t there though.

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teacher had to deal with two raymis haha. casie went up to him at the concert and was barking orders and he goes OH MY FU–ING GOD THERE’S TWO OF YOU. don’t think he minded much, made you look like a player. we were all pisstanked.

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and then another snap, this guy grabbed my arm to pose with him, someone got possessive even though we (casie) had elevated this moment into happening. wasn’t a big deal.

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can you fault him though?

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this was a big moment.

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i was hunter s.-ing it.

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posturing all over the f’n place.

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i was transfixed.

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i’ll say it again robyn is a genius. look at her videos. i am basically robyn.

why are all her lyrics about stalking other chicks and being jealous and stuff?

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the teacher got up to fight so to defuse naked shirt hugged him. casie got him topless for a cigarette, for one of hers. see how this all happened? haha.

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erp. time to go buddy.

strung out sunday is upon us!

going to cherry cola tonight early evening for the fundraiser party of the movie i’m in. i’ll be meeting the cast and i guess the dude i’ll be writhing on hahaha. meet us for a drink if you’re in the naybe and/or bored. it’s at queen/bathurst just north of queen on the west side. google it!

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who’s cute?

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we have lots of experience with this, give’ring at outdoor festivals together. i can tell i am going to be a maniac this summer.

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i text teacher I AM MAKING A SPECTACLE at certain junctures in time.

casie and i did a lot of DTD yesterday, working in the sun and somehow managed to piece ourselves together for the launch of echo beach at molson amphitheatre to see robyn. it was so fun. i had no idea it was going to be that awesome of a place. it is. even more so from the other side of vip, the right side. this one barista who serves teacher every morning at starbucks came up to him at our fence and said to me hey you’re in a cage and i says, no, YOU are then backed away dramatically. anyway if you watch this video over and over (like this one) like we just did you can see at least 300 different reasons to laugh. one example is in the very beginning where i go hey. pause. HI. behind the scenes magic right there. shit show hosts for hire.

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wicked show!

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robyn is a genius.