At :57 seconds you will hear a great big smash in this grinch vid clip, then, more glass shattering.
Someone yells out Home Alone when this starts hahaha. Oh and I fucked up the end. Oh well. Ho ho ho!
About 40 seconds in (right as I sling shot my garter in to the crowd, great artistic timing that!) you hear the window smash/shatter/pop and then the show goes on.
Pastel so hot! What a little package! Definitely opening you before Christmas.
Too bad this happened during my grinch solo. I’ll tell you about it tomorrow. An ultra Raymi fan did it hahaha ugh. I am prolonging looking at my camera and all video footage til tomorrow, today I needed a much earned siesta. I woke up at 5.
Oh dear. That’s Raymi world for ya. It’s going to be awkward, that next fb chat, so apparently you were calling the bovine all day long about me and remember how you threw the velvet rope stand into the glass window? After you barfed all over yourself and they bounced you so then you threw the thing. I feel bad for the dude but come on. Well, we did meet him at the bovine months ago (he’s a regular) and just allowed him in to the gaggle of us as a kind of novelty but kept a distance and then well, now this. The cops took him away. And there is your fifteen minutes of fame brah.
With fame comes massive irresponsibility. That’s for sure. What I mean is, do I ignore my “fans” and are they fans anyway? How am I supposed to know the dude is a fruit loop? I don’t have time for that shit. And thus, the circle of fame irresponsibility what I just invented. Another one is older dudes who have fallen off the wagon, become clean and then want to be my salvation via constant emails I don’t have time for laden with innuendos and I never asked to be saved, nor did I say I wanted to stop or needed help even. These are the ones who become my trolls, or, many fit the archetype I have experienced over the years. I think I am doing pretty good actually, my arms are toned, I am standing in this iconic doorway with my brand name stamped on my arm headlining a show of my own creation, seen realized before me in a room with all my friends. Quite awesome it was and I am, in fact.
Lol.
Ohh Bunny.
Many more to come tomowoah thanks guys! Everyone who came you rule, sorry for the Raymover today (hey that’s life). xoxo
And now I watch some of the videos while we wait for indian delivery and watch the Survivor finale.
Costume boudoir explosion here! Omg our costumes are dope!
ALL ALONE ON CHRISTMAS – DARLENE LOVE – opening number, all elfettes: raymi red pastel bunny
THE VERY THOUGHT OF YOU – PEGGY LEE – RED ZEPPELIN
MERRY CHRISTMAS BABY – CHUCK BERRY – RAYMI
SANTA CLAUS IS BACK IN TOWN – BUNNY
JINGLE BELLS (SAMMY DAVIS VERSION) – PASTEL
BREAK
BABY ITS COLD OUTSIDE - johnny mercer – RED ZEPPELIN
MERRY CHRISTMAS DARLING – PASTEL
MR. GRINCH – RAYMI
(mini break)
– FINALE – TRIO – IM DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS – THE DRIFTERS – BUNNY PASTEL RAYMI
ENCORE
Mele kalikimaka – bing crosby – RAYMI
thanks!
Read this flyer. THIS ONE! UP THERE. This is what’s going on tonight. Would love to see you!
Tonight will be a night to remember before the week of xmas hell begins. Hang on to your dream for one.night.longer of self-deluding and fantasy and see your favourite Christmas classics acted out in sexy burlesque it’s going to be redonkufunkalicious.
I better not rip one of my feather earrings out of my ear.
Adding AA over knee stockings and AA green bikini bottoms I am going to wear over this g-string and peel off, eeeh!!
HAhaha my earrings. Yes I kept them.
LOL.
I wanted to throw a banana in to the crowd but I think that would be like, enough.
These gloves ahhh. There will be headbands to match. So excited. How many costume changes? I’ll post the set list.
Kat did you find that extra garter?
I broke one during a performance yesterday oops. 7 chances left! I could sew it back together I guess. Have you ever been kissed by an Elfette before? They’re better than angel kisses. And hey man, I kissed that ginger troll hobo lush horseshoe tavern barfly on the WET BEARD EWWW when I was blasted with my ex once so I don’t think that level of disgusting could be topped tonight so if you catch a garter the Elfette charter states that blabbity blah do I have to keep writing this dear penthouse drivel ? hheheh.
Hair done did. Hope the BD team come by tonight after/during their xmas party.
I am chevy chase in national lampoon’s christmas vacay when he falls through the attic ceiling agaha.
I am going to wear Allison’s jewelry tonight, I guess she makes jewelry now. She’s always up to something.
I’m going to give a pair of these teeny weeny gitches away!!! Fresh don’t worry. Thanks OHHH CANADA.
I love that tutu, it brightens up the room so much I can’t stop staring at it. It’s a soft day glo, trips your eyeballs out, going to look amazing on stage with my feather grinchy pointer/enforcer.
Requisite I am fat comment, that is an xs nightie, tightest sausage making thing ever and the bottoms cut off at my love handles.
Bum bum Lauren is one of my family nicknames. Here is because why.
Dude, it’s happening.
This cat is known to drink from my coffee, or, anything. Stupid cat. I love My Friend.
Sigh. I wish but when the hell else can I seriously wear green elf stripper sparkle shoes and be taken seriously. Nowhere.
Stop forehead furrowing!
Eep. I am going to be doing some serious #girlscaping once Teach gets back with a triple-A battery for my muff trimmer.
Wouldn’t miss it for the world, would ya? I should def dance in these grotesque things tonight hahah I am.
Chuck Berry is a Christmas groupie, who knew? Teacher didn’t tell me my tag was sticking out. Thanks.
This gets sexy sunbeam white rugbunny good at the 56 second mark fyi ;). Then I roll my thigh highs off!
Understudy Frida Kahlo.
Ridiculous and perfect.
This is not an outfit don’t worry hahaha.
Barking together hehehehheh she loves me.
Yes I look crap. I went to the salon since this so, don’t judge meh. Lawd knows I get enough. Just killing time til SNL here. Who is coming out tomorrow? It is not to be missed. For se’ers.
We have an understudy just in case heheheh.
Nice tan line haha I forgot to take my underwear off.
Oh by gosh by golly, it’s time for mistletoe and holly!
Did you ever hear the Christmas story about the Elfettes that got away from the North Pole? No? Well my my, you sure are in for a treat this Sunday nights it’s going to tickle the dickens right out of you my pets. (said in fluttery genteel society speak of the utmost class, debutante affair mmhmm) And a very Southern Pole Christmas to ya gents, winkity wank.
I’m going to need to get green thigh highs for my mr. grinch number.
Never get invited to weddings? Me either. You have 8 chances of catching an Elfette christmas garter belt (sell that shit on ebay son! I might fling my thong into the crowd for keepers, that’s what our lingerie smut peddling sponsor has suggested so i’m do it!!!)
Excited to see what Katrina extracts from her video footage!!
How cute is our dance going to be?
And now I am Chevy Chase in Christmas Vacay lol you know which scene? It’s my mom’s favourite.
Ordering this online with Bunny yesterday felt too much like an exam lol.
Hot purse them Nella Bellas are.
What a life Kat must lead. Dig this girl.
Just two more sleeps til Sunday. If you catch an Elfette garter in the crowd you will be handsomely rewarded with mistletoe kisses. There are 8 garters in total.
Dudes it’s gonna be awesome!
Oh yeah there’s more of these but they don’t really fit so I’ll hold off.
Ok maybe just one more.
Gah I can’t stop myself! ha, Elf, can’t stop myselfette.
Pastel!
Red Zeppelin and I have hilar stage chemistry together. We may have some side punk rock burlesque biz for jokes on the side in the future lol.
Back to Christmas now!
Ha psyche. Ok now!
Look at the big bag of glitter confetti! The Elfettes will be sprinkling it everywhere while we walk around and dance and get up to elf mischief.
The day I wore two pairs of pants at the same time oooh!
Leftover pics I have previously uploaded and forgot about.
See? Look at her eyes, opposite directions. The coasters came with the house I moved in to.
Hi Raymi. I’ve been following you for awhile and have seen you lose a fair bit of weight. It is inspiring; I’ve just never told you because I’ve always thought that you must get that a lot and if I can’t be original I’d rather not try (we all have our hang-ups). But you also get a lot of bullshit and it never seems to stop so more niceties are deserved.
Such a brief comment from Katia and look what it started. It was a thoughtless thing to say. Some people can’t not criticize. We all know them in real life but it’s shittier to encounter them on the internet because the criticism is visible to all and lasts, unlike the stinging, but passing, comment made by some jerk at a party, for example. And because the internet offers anonymity they can show their true colours without anyone finding out that they are ugly on the inside. When you think about it like that it almost makes these people sound like the psycopaths in that they try to pass themselves off as normal people but secretly get off on abusing others.
I question her motivation for saying something shitty like that and the only answer I can come up with is that she’s a bit off – mentally, behaviourally, etc. Or maybe she actually is trying to get to you – malicious, vindictive, plotting (still would make her a bit off).
You’re secure enough in your body to show it off and there really is nothing sexier than that. I went to the strippers once and saw a few bigger ladies dancing and they were really sexy. And it made me realize that I can be sexy, too, because being sexy has nothing to do with size and everything to do with confidence. That being said, you’re obviously really tiny and I think it’s good for everyone to see that if you know what you want and are willing to work for it you can attain it. If you didn’t have this confidence I would be worried about your headspace – it’s worrisome when thin girls who go on about how fat they are.
Anyway, from this one comment about rolls it became this crazy accusation that you were lying about your weight. Honest about everything else, why would you lie about that? Good on you for proving yourself yet again. It reminds me of celebrities suing tabloids for printing bullshit. Somebody has to call them on it and I’m happy when someone who can, does.
It’s just a bit exhausting because the shit never, ever stops. And I am just a reader so I don’t know how you can take it as the target. You’re still going strong so you obviously don’t need any advice from me. But in case it ever gets hard I’ll tell you again, you’re in gorgeous shape and you inspire the thinking people out there. There are always going to be some people who just don’t get it, can’t take it, and are just plain shitty. Some people never stop being cruel bullies. But you’re great and it’s clear you’re surrounded by loving and supportive people in you’re every day life. So I envy you – great friends, family, body, career, clothes, home, pets, motivation, strength, drive, taste in music, the list goes on. Merry Christmas!
I’ll keep on reading.
Teresa
P.S. Did you mean that you thought the girls at Lux Spa were “see you next tuesdays” when you wrote that on your blog awhile ago? I went there on your recommendation! Twice!! I did tell them I was there because I read about them on your blog, too. So – your advertising works. Support your local small businesswoman, I say. Unfortunately, they effed up my brows.
Bullies will always be losers which is why theyre bullies.
Thanks teresa that was really nice to receive ima blob it
xoxo fight the power
dont hesitate to write anytime, i love to hear from you guys.
rlw
ps. Yes they WERE uppity twats. that was the beginning of the end of my third party blogvertorialing for tha’ city, people irl don’t get what you’re doing and how it will make sense on the web. I had in-growns for days and they had the chatty demeanour of an eastern european servant at the turn of the century. Frosty.
i stick by what i said. that is not the first time that scale has made mention on your blog…
ANYWAYS, i feel a little stuck because i don’t think there is anyway for me to state my case without having the opposite effect i hoped for where you are concerned (but realistically should have known better) other than this, you may or may not publish this comment but hopefully you at some point in your blogging ventures could post links to websites like shape of a mother or this is what a real woman looks like, just as i am OR my body gallery dot com. that way your readers (impressionable young female ones, that i will ALWAYS champion over personal platitudes) might have an opportunity to see other representations of weight and height. maybe walk the talk? any way you do you…imma keep doing me. don’t spin doctor my statements – THAT makes you look far worse than a few rolls ever could.
ANYWAYS ISN’T A WORD BY THE WAY. NO S REQUIRED. Would I say By the Ways? Which ways?? How many ways? One way! Moron! Any way, any is already pluralized, it isn’t singular. You sound stupid. Half my friends say anyways and I cringe inside when they do, Teacher says it and he’s a teacher. The Whites are a people of correctors with impeccable grammar skills which is why I am fully allowed to dumb it down as I know the proper way to write sentences, and spell.
Moving on now to my actual comment response to Katia aka “all good” pfft poser more like.
i have no fucking clue what you mean. this is done. boring. over. thank you i have rolls when i am on the ground kicking my leg up and two days before menstruating. this isnt a punk rock body statement on shit, i was accused of lying by you, and i proved that i wasnt. you are an asshole. look in the mirror and accept it, don’t cavort like you are defending little girls who shouldn’t be reading my blog anyway though you act like one. spin doctor? Honey you started that shit by dumping your character assassinations on me. i am the hero who posts raw life here you tried to “bring” me down “a peg” and failed.
I am used to this treatment, sad to say and just when I am at a point in my life where I am cool with my body more or less and like hyper focused on my career, the cut-throat niche market that it is, some giant loser has to dump all over my parade and waste my time? Nah dog I kept it going cos mo hate mo hits. I guess it could be worse, some boring geek could start a debate over I dunno what. There is something about me that triggers people to react, respond, chime in, I definitely should have a Jerry Springer talk show of some sort. Bleh.
Fortunately I am too busy kicking ass and taking names to reply with a burn so good your face would melt off like the Raiders of the Lost ark whichever one his face melts off in at the end by way of terrible cgi but anyway, revenge is a dish best served cold my number one SWF Raymimpersonator once blobbed. Henceforth just wait til January.
At the time these insults were dropped on my blog I was essentially blowin’ Luda in the back of a Maserati. Ha Maserati’s don’t have back seats, idiot! Ok I have to press publish now, enjoy this Katy Perry song I played twice and it was good and grating at the same time, go nuts. I look like Hulk Hogan/his daughter with my tan and platinum long stringy locks. I don’t know who I am anymore! Just j/k lol. Another fan mail from a little raymi after the video break. Oh and they call this fan mail no it has not gone to my eleven year blogging tenure’s inflated head, in Canada you are not allowed to horn toot.
hey raymi,
stupid twitter and its 140 character limit..
anyways, just thought i would touch on something thats a little bit sadder than what we were discussing before (but this convo made me think of it)
if you dont mind im gonna bring up some old shit that isnt my business but i want to tell you what i remembered from the particular post you wrote…
it was sometime after your breakup, i think you were trying to explain/justify why it took place and people were looking for answers that maybe they shouldnt have been looking for…
but you said something that stuck with me to this day..
you said (and this first part might not be verbatim but its close, the second is verbatim)
‘I wasnt healthy, the relationship wasnt healthy. I told myself daily ‘I want to die’ ‘
Even as I write this, that last sentence makes the hair on my neck stand up. To me, that was the most real glimpse i ever caught of Lauren, the Lauren outside of blogging, the IRL Lauren. Everyone knows (hello ****** *****) that constant debbie-downer/negative attitude doesnt get traffic (but you werent saying these things for traffic, you were being the most raw and honest about your personal life as i have ever seen, and ive been reading for half your blog’s life!) but yet you let that one sentence out and it was like a lightbulb for me.
You are a real person with real feelings and you take your pants off at night just like everyone else (maybe a little earlier than everyone else? hehehehe) and for that sentence to come out and make me realize that there is A LOT you hide from the public (whether good or bad) and it made me respect you that much more for having the guts to admit those dark feelings, when normally its all smiles and food and friends.
SO, now that i see you are healthy(er) and happy(er) i am reminded of when you werent so happy, and wonder, is that what people want? for you to be stuck in a rut in a place you dont want to be, unhappy with things but not stupid enough to let on to the general public that you have problems JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE?
I am so fucking happy with you right now, you are getting better at your craft and better in your life every day (and thats not me sucking up, if you did something retarded i’d be the first person to tell you, this you know LOL) (besides, what could i ‘suck up’ for? street cred? LOL)
If you dont have time to write a long winded reply back dont worry – i just really wanted to tell you how much that sentence stuck with me, even to this day.
xxoo
Oh man was this ever a moment. Born for the lights!
PSst. Pastel will be unwrapping herself like a gift. Boners for Christmas this year much? We will need a couple dudes from the crowd for lapdance purposes too just saying. Sunday Night! Classic Burlesque Christmas. The Elfettes! o_O Come dressed up if you like, elves, snowflakes, angels, scrooge, and so on. We are going to leave all our discarded lingerie on the jager bottle christmas tree lol, Bunny’s idea. She’s dismantling a Santa Hat for the fluff for our pasties for this dance for for for!!!
Red booty shorts, long red satin gloves too and teeny santa hat headbands GAHH!
Fake snow icicles for the stage just for you, just for you. Raymi made you Christmas!
Ughhhhh dork losers get a life already. Oh and this scale was at my dad’s house in the bathroom when he moved in to his current house and was stained like that sorry haha. Actually it was at my old condo, then I brought it to my dad’s and stole it back and it always looked this disgusting but I am bound to it.
whoa la! who is setting feminism back? do you have rolls, yep (um, who cares?). are you hot and have you done a really good job of setting an attainable aesthetic goal for yourself and completing it? yep.raymi, you are inspiring (among many other things) but gurl, you ain’t 5′9″ OR 118 lbs.
wanted to first comment when you pointed out the girl that had a crush on your gentlemen friend who was a teenager, kind of cruel and inappropriate – but, it does point out (as you do on your own many times) that you have young girls following your blog. remember when you weighed in at 147 lbs publicly? that was bad-ass….lying about your height and weight isn’t. I’m not suggesting that you still weigh the same, but you are not 118 lbs.fact.
you’re a guilty pleasure, and i’ve always thought it weird that people might comment this way, but hey…
I’m so tall I obscure the entire tree! #Giant #amazon.
Yeah keep going hater bitches.
bitch i am too 118, i fluctuate between 122-118, 118 is my lowest number and regardless it is 2lbs from 120 what is your point here?. at the end of my period ill be 118, thank you and it has been like this for months. i dont have much muscle mass anymore (weighs more) because i dont train, and guess what, i have gained an inch-ish in height i thought i was only 5′8, wrong, taller, THank yew again. Moreover, i do not have ROLL-rolls. Sitting here right now w/o my abs flexed, yes rolls, but “fat girl”rolls? whatever. all in all it is a shitty shitty shitty remark to make when there are actual morbidly obese people out there, to target someone who actually is fucked up about weight and yo-yos but isn’t even FUCKING FAT. them bad, me good. coming back here to clarify that i do have rolls to bring it up again err. why? what is the point? I cannot please everybody, that’s the bottom line, it is disgusting and a waste of my time, all of this obnoxious garbage, im just trying to dance and enjoy my life go to hell. i just weighed myself, i am 120lbs, satisfied or would you like a video or photo? which you then will say is false. just made a weigh video especially for you stupid fucking losers!!! happy hannukah!
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7015/6514507515_dbb7d02133_b.jpg taken when i got home. looking for those rolls, guy, but all i see is definition and hip bones.
And this is a fat day. I have full on hardcore cramps now thank god bring it on I need to flush this out. Ew sorry I know I know my bad. Kay night!!!
