Ready set go bro!

It’s Raymbotainment time. Happy 4/20 wieners. Have a very productive day today okay.

Hai. Here is our friend James Franco as a cat. He sent me that picture from Hong Kong.

I dressed like a french mime yesterday.

I have big lips. So does Courtney Love. She has huge features all around my mom said a billion years ago during the Nirvana craze, which also rocked our household.

We accidentally matched one another yesterday when I put this on, he was already wearing his but I didn’t notice. Then my hat put it all over the edge.

Oh whatever we can be one of those copying couples sometimes. It’s cute. I’m a nihilist remember.

I really really need a tan though to revive my skin.

In my head I am already living on that cray farm. Remote. Beautifully given up on what other people care, sitting in the sun writing haikus.

I’m being trolled again. The envious come out when shit is or isn’t happening.

It also feels freeing and isolating not knowing my blog traffic for a few days. It feels like going back in time and it has humbled me in such a way that it brings to mind what my goals were in the beginning of all this, being that finding Forrester guy in the window of a house slamming on a keyboard all these crazy thoughts that people would eat up and I would do that until I die. Along the way I might form a cult of people being in to what I am laying down and then the more progressive ones in the fold would come forward and closerly inspect me, document me by other means and then we go from there.

It sounds crazy but it became true. Have I plateau’d? I might have. I might have hit the pause button I might not have. I think times for being thoughtful and reflective are great because they ground you and you might not know it at the time, it might be hell and bleak but when you rise out of it, you learned.

If everyone (or most) claim to hate me and don’t provide reasons for it, ones that count anyway, and they obsessively hate me for long periods of time and daily come to my blog “hating me” it isn’t me who they are hating it is themselves they hate, hating me for what I am or do or how I act and what I say is merely a reflection of your own shit. You can make all the excuses you want but you’re just threatened. Make fun of my age and my face, but it is irrelevant. If my appeal is looks-based and now that chapter has to close because these women think chapters close when they reach a certain age, (how many older than me broads are ruling social media right now? Why am I the ONLY ONE who receives attacks then?) you say there are so many younger women with more to offer doing things right now more attractive than me, well good for them show me where the line for caring is and I will be sure to avoid it.

Do you wish you could see the world through instragram coloured glasses?

We had a great time at dinner yesterday, Watusi is still one of my fav haunts. The Watusi is a dance. I have never googled to see what it actually looks like.

I am noticing that I get checked out way more now, by older men especially. I am not going to lie, I have always been checked out but to speak of it is considered bragging and this is when the claws come out this is shit mean girl shit is made of but as someone who has had periods in their life of feeling ignored, over-looked, not pretty, or looked at, it feels good to get that thumbs-up stare or double take over and over and over again on a walk. I might notice it more because I am a recluse and seldom go out so it’s all action jackson when I hit the streets, too alert and hyper-aware so I remember that when I am getting shit on by trolls who throw abuse rocks at me on my looks cos YOU WRONG BRO. I think it’s better to have your face to the sky anyway than to the smartphone like the internet dependent generation aka pussies.

The thing is I don’t care if you hate me anymore or make fun of me, I am a critic, I have strong bold opinions and I say them and I am relatively attractive and the only goal in life for the internet now-adays it seems is to BE a hater so I may as well embrace it. I may poke fun at our society and culture but I know too that I am a part of it, but I ain’t no follower. It takes balls to say things I do and I do get shit rained back down on me, I at least am more honest about things, about my wants (no needs) for fame because that is all this has ever been about and writing was the way I got to it, living as a piece of art, making life art. Pretty simple.

Thank you for coming along for the ride. In November it will be 12 years. Am I satisfied with my work. Yes I am. Do I pat myself on the back? Not nearly enough. Am I ashamed of anything? No I am not. I am a good person and I am good to people and that is good enough for me.

We got good and drunk. Well I did. One reason why Watusi is my fav spot is the drink menu. My favourite drink is Anita’s attitude adjuster. It works.

You know who else was a great drunk. Jack Kerouac. Don’t talk to me about other bloggers and deals and sponsorships because we are all doing the same racket and some have different needs and desires than others and we are all snowflakes kay bro? Don’t project your jealousy of them on to me.

I will eat my way to the top. Or I will eat myself to death haha.

Good chick pea batch bro.

Flank steak, pomme frites, spinach mmm.

With parm and au jus gravy to die for.

I am so going for a run today. Now. NOW.

BYEEEEEEEEEE!

Back by request. These stupid pictures.

Just a couple cos we “get it”.

Miss my teeth? Miss my wonky eye like the guy from the goonies?

Well I bet you did.

Ok NOW I get it.

Pee pee peace.

This chick was reading teen vogue out here and NOT a teen! She was old. Sometimes we have to go back to the beginning again so that we can better know our present. I’m sure that was in a movie once. With a unicorn in it. No doubt son!

That’s the chick from Much Music. Or something. I only watch a certain amount of specific television.

Cool walk bro.

Actually I like the top pics with the flower border overlapping because they’re not exactly being cut off or out. Yeah that’s so pinteresting.

Waitin’ for the girls.

All that swag thanks so much 3F Fashions. I am going to fill up bags of clothes and get rid of them head’s up to interested parties. Spring cleaning old stuff I mean. I was submitted for a reality wardrobe show that would so take me if they saw a photo of my wardrobe like how it lives in a pile on the floor in my tickle trunk I have two dressers, a closet and another wardrobe what are those things called? A closet you buy when your apartment bedroom doesn’t have a closet. One of those.

I’ve since trimmed all the snaggly hairs off Okay O-lay!

Ladies I have pix of all you’s too I didn’t upload them this last round I don’t know why I feel obliged to even mention, I don’t like the possibility of someone feeling left out. I am considerate. I just know blogs and the unnecessary evil they can befall one and all. Hey I’m impressively rhymey today. “Funny can’t buy you happiness.” was going to be the title, wah woh.

An awesome indian restaurant was here it was a good hang I bet the cabbies are bummed, I’d be. This is Stupid waiting for me to show up for tacos. Keep it simple guys.

Nice bullet buds.

There’s my stomach.

Oh hey there.

In today’s street style Raymi is modeling her elementary school’s colours navy and baby. Don’t make me say that’s a great band name because it is.

I can just see it now.

As always, we go here to wait for our table. I say The Rhino next time for a change. I have my reasons.

Glad I gave you one, mine broke last night.

Making fun of my stomach regions before I even eat anything is a dick move, now watch it grow.

It doesn’t matter anymore because I am a nihilist now. Like I care.

Blue and blond go together swimmingly. One of my trade secrets. Now you know bro.

Too bad about losing those posts, a good flame war was a brewing. Nice to see that all the fucking losers who are still hell bent on their Raymi obsessions are still at it and up to speed. You mad bro? Why do I threaten you so much? If I suck so much why you here basking in the suck?

I smashed my penny packer glass by mistake, I said to your health and clunk it too comically hard which was embarrassing enough and then it shattered. Also they know this is our drink and it does bring out some cray I think. Brown liquor or red wine if you want to go out of your mind. I should just go ahead and write a rap or a jingle I am wasting my talents on the circle of jerks here. Also on the circle jerk. Nah nah I actually consider everything I do to be productive in the steps toward my life goal fruition.

I was hella embarrassed. They got me another.

This is how you hide your face when you are embarrassed. It semi-works.

Embarrassment over, time to put a new outfit on this was the longest taco date post coverage ever.

Not entirely my fault.

Oops. It was wrapped around one of my giant teeth.

Hard to tell in this lighting but that red hot sauce was pretty full when we got there and we drained it to within an inch of its life.

I asked a bro if there really was a guard cat in this building and he’s like yeah but they’re really nice haha then we took a bunch of pics and I said my ok bye which is our I am fucking leaving now without you warning call but it was meant for rebecca and he goes Bye. Aw you got clothes-lined by the stupids.

Then I had to buy woman stuff and soda water. Sounds like a party. A vodka scrabble party. Chill out it was a Monday and we’re old chicks. The store clerk dug this moment in time of course. No really he loved it.

A troll said I don’t have friends because friends don’t let you dress like how I am dressed if you don’t have a torso but the most hilarious thing about that is this is exactly how rebecca dresses, she wears a white t-shirt and leggings as a uniform so sorry kid go sneer at other people’s lives on facebook who also don’t give a shit about you.

I did not play the R-word believe it or not.

That zit bro on my face is now gone I think I’ll give you a status update when I next get up off my arse. Raymi Lauren White’s ZIT: It’s complicated.

Brand new Tommy Bag and the straps break. That’s life for ya, sometimes you break the bag straps or the straps break you. I need more coffee this is getting retarded. Seven points on a double word score. I also have to do some blog archive stuff investigations.

Don’t do anything while I’m gone ‘cept enjoy yourselves!

The cat just barfed everywhere. Here comes the dog.

Meow meow hop hop.

Wah I lost that other post but who cares now bro? Lol. I’ll have to start making my photos smaller so they don’t get cut off by the beautiful whimsical flower border. That Tyler drew from scratch! He is not girly at all and when I presented them with my blog vision, Bry was like hah this is going to be hilarious for Tyler to do. Also, when doing testing it they’d use posts with tits of course for fun haha. Boys. Who are men. Who are boys. Like how I like ‘em!

I was in the middle of blasting a piece of trash in the comments and then they all disappeared because anything I started publishing once they started the blog swap would not make the change-cut. Makes sense. I have the photos still. I didn’t back up the posts though, wah woh.

Anyway I am not going to let it carry out any longer on my new special platform of tacos and just living my life, I am sorry you don’t simplify your own life and make it consist of just a few things a week when you can and it seems soooo hilarious that I am going to go shopping and then eat at a restaurant, you’re so sad to get mad about everything I do. Oprah says that holding on to resentment is like holding your breath for many years and it’s true.

You honestly need to fuck off. Is what you honestly need to do.

Maybe I will become a better blogger now that I have a better blog. Or maybe I can become worse and no one will notice. I’ll be right back after I tell everyone on facebook that this blog is ready for them to swoon over too. Please be patient while all the kinks are ironed out and please like my facebook raymitheminx.com that hasn’t been updated since infinity years ago. ps. leave a comment if you can see this because colleague is telling me a bunch of garbage. During this migration process there will be some hiccups, some might see the ghost posts from my old blog lay out, I go to approve then it all vanishes so while the server is playing patty cake with my blog just be cool everything will work out. Fine.

You don’t need talent when you are hot lol. Just joking guys! Like that chick who everyone is calling ugly who called herself hot and is now famous for it? I am offended big time by the U word as one (moi) who does/has done work for a charity for children afflicted with various kinds of facial deformities I do not think that’s funny, or even note-worthy. Millions of people call themselves this or that on the internet everyday all day why did you give this moronic woman the media victory by spreading the word about it? I’ve also dropped the U-word from my vocabulary since I started raising awareness for AF. You can look through my archives, I haven’t used that word no matter how many nasty words have been used regarding me from people who do not take care of their appearances as much as I make effort to but more than that, I don’t make fun of people’s fucking faces because that is cruel and you should be ashamed of yourselves. Just saying. But vanity can sure be a hot topic n’est-ce pas?

I’ve only just come across these recently I did not plan to blog this or say that rant before sitting down here today. Now there’s going to be some kind of swing set-up going on up there on the CN Tower? Cray. Also Cray is I could go sky diving with About Face, err maybe next time. Ok back to my nipple pasties.

Check my roots. It’s gonna get weird!

Hair is getting really long though I almost cut it yesterday. I hang on to those split end stragglers for extra length, Teach persuaded me not to cut my hair yesterday, just a trim, I’ll do so later.

I think I am going to dance in an upcoming post-comic con after party, the official one! And it’s a fundraiser for burning man? Do I get to get in on that too?

Time to start practicing my pink cape moves. And I can finally do Pride if I am around that weekend. Caribana is Bollywood themed this year too.

I should stick around up there for longer than my photoshoots. Those plants need to replaced. It WILL be made over you will see and you will like it. Maybe even some fake flowers? I can see that getting ridic pretty quick. Thank you for the glasses Jules and the pasties Rebecca my little stylists.

Okay back to laundry and tidying and Bob Dylan and remember Friday the LCBO is closed head’s up so get all your shit tomorrow the weekend is almost upon us thanks to the Easter Bunny. Sean‘s on the way over blog party pow wow wow.

Someone said I look 40 yesterday. One of my obsessive biggest fans of course otherwise known as a hater. So, I can take it, lay it on me, how old do I look? Also might I add, how relevant is that really? Do my chances of “making it” end when I turn 30? Do you know Kim Kardashian is over 30? My mother was on Creeps for Christ sakes. Ps. look at my body, is that the body of a 40 year old? I am french, I have dark circles beneath my eyes, it is my heritage. I’m going to keep at it to spite you, the older and older I get the more I will still be there so you need to ask yourself how long you are going to punish yourself hating on me for. What if I get more famous! That will so suck for you won’t it!

It’s only older than me shitheads or bitches my own age who say I look older anyway so who cares. Young chicks are shocked when they learn my age and definitely 50% of that is attributed to how I act, young spirited and fancy free so you remember that ya old windbags acting all stiff and crabby and frowning all the time, you are projecting OLD. I am not, nor will I ever and my body will always look young for as long as I can manage. Thank you Demi Moore.

Nice pants Courtney. Traveling Raymi pants.

Too many corn flakes teach said. Shut up hater I liked it!

Don’t base your judges on the last few days pictures either because I said so.

Except here in which I look like a retarded baby.

Classy sassy hostess Courtney strikes again.

Love your friends.

She’s got the look of bourbon in her eyes. No wait I did. No wait, she did.

First of all you may be thinking, “They don’t Raymi!” Not true at all. They think, or, you think they don’t or people think that they don’t but they do, the end. You’re welcome for clearing that up now we can move on to the rest of this “thinking piece”.

I texted to myself this important question (that I didn’t write the answer to) last night amidst a conversation starring how everyone else is full of shit and I’m not.

But why do you think people give a shit about me? Blog question to ask them then answer for them. Yes this is how it is done in the big leagues. Those entire first two typo-free sentences verbatim is what I sent myself. Merkley sends himself drunk texts all the time as note to selfs, all the smartest cynics I know do that.

What I meant by that was at the end of the day people are actually coming to my blog, still, after all these years, but why? And all of my peers, why do I have a higher ranked blog than they do despite all their wheel spinning and twitter farming (cheating) and what have you, I still kill their internet-positioning and have for oodles of time and I’m not saying that to rub it in their noses at all it’s just a fact that supports my argument, the argument that people do give a shit about my life and even I scratch my head about that as my anxiety mounts every time I turn on my computer and see how many people there are out there on the webs showcasing their lives in their own creative ways on tumblr twitter blogs and that number seems to grow daily and then I start to panic. This blogging stress eats at me more than anything, more than “the haters” or “the competition”, it’s a daily dose of drama. Needed a d-word. It’s toxic for sure but, because I am the way that I am (I told my mother on the drive back from Niagara) is why I am the best, figuratively speaking. It’s shitty and I know it that I am going to feel like shit every day until I die. Sometimes I feel like I am drowning in my blog and all this pressure to excel or getting to the next level makes me want to vom.

Last night my friend was going on and on about, I don’t even want to say “the scene”, because it was more than that but as we were all giving our two cents and opinions, gossip, every minute or so I go OKAY ENOUGH because it’s so stressful for me but then we fall back in to it and it just goes that way again and then I am like no seriously I mean it we can’t talk about this any more. It makes me say retarded and boastful things and text myself stupid things like But why do you think people give a shit about me? at 12:05am.

With the change of seasons I always seem to fall in to a bit of a funk. I think everyone is suffering equally, stressed out, unhappy, poor, or other. But then I walk around my neighbourhood and see all these yuppies and I think about living the dream and of course I compare myself to every one I pass and I think if I went back in time and never blogged and became an office drone frowning in flats would I like that life much more instead? I’d have more money and eventually a baby and we’d all be frowning un-originally unhappily together forever. I don’t think I am the only girl who thinks this way, right? It’s normal right? I’m sorry to break it to you but your hero is a real person, le gasp!

I totally forgot what I was about to say, for the past hour I puttered around the internet, had more coffee, sat in the sun, fucked around with Stella, colleague came by, gossiped about a craymail I got last night from an old friend, other crap. Mostly twitter, that is a time sucker indeed. So is the view out of this window and I lied earlier when I said I sat out in the sun I don’t know why I did that I wanted to look more productive. I’m as pale as a ghost I need to get out there and will. I think you can get sun even if it’s 3pm? Though by one is most desirable typically and when the sun is hottest. I wonder if it’s still cold in Vancouver.

Anyway, sometimes I want to blow up my blog. It’s a safety net for sure and I can’t tell if its been holding me back my entire adult life or not. I know I need a fire lit under my ass that’s for sure, I am lazy or I am crazy, or a bit of both. How many geniuses do you know who piss away their lives and talent? Oh there are tons. It’s ok I am fine I think this is just a classic late twenties life crisis. It’s funny the little things that actually help me get through all of this, nice things I remember that are said to me as motivation. At the 90’s reunion party everyone was so proud of me I was really bowled over by it and some of the things I heard really meant a lot holy gayballs! Ok anyway Adrian said that at 30 he thinks that’s when everything is going to take off or change I can’t remember exactly what he said everyone was shitskrieged it was a good cray old time but just in saying that one little thing I almost felt set free it was incredible I bet he is reading this too hi dude, now I am embarrassed.

As we age we beat ourselves up too much, way too much. I know that I am going to get an agist attack every fucking day for forever now and I do, I actually do and it’s stupid because I still look pretty fucking good I will admit that now and I will dog all of you in the process to prove my point because that is one of my life duties: proving points it is stupid but that is what we call “blogging” and everybody does it.

I am not going to apologize for being this, for sharing my life in a manipulative fashion and duping you in to thinking that I am more awesome than awesome. I have tried for 11 years to prove “I am awesome” and it doesn’t mean you can’t be awesome too or my awesome over-shadows yours because this blog has nothing to do with you I just like to type a lot I started very young and I always wrote and read. In the beginning there was only ever blogging. I think I liked the good old days when no one was around, there weren’t comments, people had to email you what they thought and I was really good at pissing people off and getting lots of hate mail, but I got more love mail way more and I definitely still do. Things like “trolls” exist now, the internet has something for everyone and you can be internet famous in so many capacities everybody is doing it and that is awesome to make money solely based on your creativity and independently at that. You are an ignoramus if you haven’t made money off the internet in some shape or form, that’s just my extremely biased, made from scratch original gangster opinion of course. *dusts shoulders off*. Hey man we’re just all trying to make our way here right.

So in summation of this confusing wtf post, why do people like me? Maybe because I give them hope or show that “you can do it” maybe they can learn to like themselves like I pretend to like myself everyday for my blog and for you. It’s never been for blog really, it’s always for people. It’s a popularity contest a little bit but I’m the good guy. I do like you, we email, you mail me care packages, I built my brand off of all my Little Raymi pen pals. You guys have actually helped my career, by me being relatively likeable and feeding off other people’s emotions and thinking their adorablah Raymi pet cares (and she does!) is the fuel that keeps raymitheminx.com a chugging. You are my community, my network, my influencers and looking glass. So thank you guys for sticking by me and around and being my friends you are wicked and I too have enjoyed watching your lives back, watching you grow, get hotter, get married and make babies. I’m flattered when you reach out to me, for advice and consoling. FOR YEARS AND YEARS O_o!

I said to Teacher yesterday that if this is as good as it gets then it’s pretty good.

Until the next big catastrophe.

But I said “goddamn good” in case I didn’t seem grateful enough or the mood didn’t adequately translate.

Enough of this though lets have a good old fashion Craymi picture post until I run out of steam. I just sent myself a bunch of pictures. Or maybe I should make that a separate post. Okay I will. Thanks guys and always remember to blog it like you’re hot.

xo Raymbo.

Change of plans: it’s tan o’clock.

My friend screetus shoots for the derby league and so of course I struck a pose or two for him. Raymi Town is a ghost town today guys sorry I am sick as a dog, I haven’t been sick in a long time much less as sick as this. Not fun.

THAT IS ALL FOR NOW!