Um I wasn’t setting out to do a Barbie pose you see I was just feeling my nude nail polish and how it matches my tanned legs. They are tanned, you just can’t see any of it ahaha. The nail polish is called quick sand and we could write an essay on the merits of nude-anything but just take my word for it. Skin is sexy. Emulate skin.

Okay brosephs Raymbo newsletter has just landed on your feet. Prepare to be underwhelmed. Just kidding. Lets see how long it takes for me to write a word in quotations. Tarek, your bag is breathtaking! Thank you.

The funniest thing that happened, lets see. Maybe when one relative catapulted my salad up in the air at the wedding hangover hang in to my lap, the air, the floor, the carpet, the funny. I said thank god it wasn’t pasta (red sauce). It was awesome and not my fault. Things are typically my fault. I almost put my fault in quotations. Okay what else.

Steve made an exceptional speech, sang a traditional Slavic song accompanied by a guy with an accordian that got everyone up and singing then marched over to me, walked me to the middle of the dance floor and kissed me in front of everyone to get the lovely couple to kiss. Dude points. Big time.

I did laundry, got conceited and drunk between wedding and reception. It was some damn good me-quality time lol.

I will spare you from my dance videos. GIANT MAYBE ON THAT ONE.

We’ve been eating risotto and filet mignon since Saturday and I am actually getting skinnier somehow.

I and my table were completely gunned by this point. I came back to a slice of cake that looked like Spy vs. Spy and everyone laughed. At least one person did.

Our next big to-do is Madonna tomorrow night. My mom was texting me about if I had heard of a band called sheep dog. Mom, they’re called THE SHEEPDOGS btw. (that means by the way, by the way). Anyway, no we will not trade Madonna for the sheepdogs. I bet even The Sheepdogs would understand that. Safe travels ma love you.

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Except this time it’s not pretend. This was during my “blogger” scene. Why did I air-quotes that I dunno. But yeah, this was fun, I liked it. I saw some more shots yesterday and I am floored. Everyone is. Can’t wait.

I played solitaire for the first time on this laptop, there was no wifi. It doesn’t look like 1984 anymore on a current PC I was impressed. It doesn’t take much.

Def wearing my Dear Frankie banded underwear today. My hair is curled, Steve is already doing the wedding photo thing. My first layer of makeup is drying. I’m cab chitting it out to ‘sauga holla.

Took forevs to capture the bottle and get it non-blurry. I’d love to know the back story here. You’re a dad/it’s a girl OH SHIIIIT it’s payback time!

The day I met Steve.

Caught in the rain this day. Hot rain. I looked bush league soaked in it.

Quick brunch before pole dancing a few weeks back. GOTS TO GO BRO à bientôt!

Aye aye captain Zissou.

Finally got the boy on the boat this w/e to watch the air show from the lake, bonus idea me! After seeing the planes from land all weekend long (since Thursday when they began practicing) I had been itching to go out there. Sometimes the city makes me claustrophobic and being close to water but not on it, even worse. And that gorge weather. I sometimes get summer sadness thanks to FOMO (fear of missing out) I now realize. That’s why we do so many things because we are afraid if we don’t our existences will be meaningless. I think we are too hard on ourselves.

I know life isn’t always about fun and games (the control freaks will counter with) but seeing water loving people adorn their cray ship with these guys kind of straightens you out a little. I love the eccentrics. When we passed them back into harbor they asked if we caught anything, I said no, but we watched the air show and they were like THAT IS AMAZING.

Perhaps it’s supposed to confuse thieves. “I just sharted bro.” Ahahaha totally.

Papa enjoying some organic yellow watermelon we bought from the farmer’s market and our favourite chips that Nana also buys. She couldn’t make it out yesterday, aw boo.

This photo is going to get me through winter, those bleak months when we are nice shades of alabaster. What’s Wednesday Addams up to these days?

Fap fap fap. j/k no i’m not. j/k j/k j/k omgosh you guys.

Cheesyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Sometimes I have Italian mannerisms I suppose. Guess who has even more!?

Sometimes I like the candid ones then two days later I am like WHAT HAVE I DONE!!

I think I look like my papa a lot, sometimes. I sure say sometimes a lot. Anyway. Mom am I right?

Steve you look hot here. And everywhere. And today’s weather couldn’t be more opposite. Wahh. Suck attack central over here.

Here are my pin-up ones. I have to get my s- together for my Playboy shoot tomorrow. I’m going to have hair extensions too O_O I am kind of nervous as hell. I will “kill it” though and I have assembled a pro hair, makeup + photographer team (okay Steve did) so that will “make it” but I am just wardrobe flustered (as usual) is all, do I copy the other girls or do my own thing? Do we shoot in a bar or in studio, or both? I just want it all done lickity split and have no one annoyed at me. Being pre-menses is not helping matters any more either but getting a lot of shut-eye the last few days has, plus tonight. I am all about boring girlfriend duties until the weekend is over, stamped it. Now how to manage tiff stuff will be another thing-thang to worry about til after tomorrow. See how helpful blogging can be?

It was pretty choppy waters, now I “get it” when I’m texting my uncle about east winds and insisting it is calm but it’s not, winds on the water are a whole other thing entirely. We fought some crazy waves on the way back it was pretty gangster.

Oh I’m sorry, am I blocking your view of the CN Tower?

It was a lovely day out thanks again so very much Uncle Mike!

When I shower later I’ll inspect my boat bruises, hope I don’t have any. It happens, you’re on water. On the couch last night with my eyes closed (so beat from the sun) I felt like I was rocking still, it was trippy. Stopped myself before any nausea could sink in though.

This one can also be enjoyed upside down.

It’s my blog and I can do as I please. Very well then.

Probs not snowbirds, but lovebirds.

Steve you got good ones. Mine will all be horrible no doubt.

Here we have a pilot bro experiencing a classic RTM double point.

Unfortch I can’t make the machine gun noises my dad and brother do.

Oh right, an air show is going on.

Have mercy.

Fine then don’t.

They’re like ants on camera, sorry everyone go watch your own damn air show.

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Show me your saucy face.

Alright, lets call the rest of this post THE CAT CAME BACK.

What’s up dress. Has a bit of a Caribbean vibe to it a little. The yellow is actually on the fluorescent side too.

On the last day in Aruba I made more makeup effort because I was defs going to see Steve at the airport. My hair looks totally fried from the ocean hey? Ragamuffin Raymi.

The tint from the window is why everything looks this way.

It was a groovy time.

Exhausted plus maje heat. One hour-ish til flight. Our airline would be a ghost town with tumbleweeds and crickets by the time we made it to airport. Unacceptable. We were getting off that island that afternoon no matter what.

I was still pretty choked up at the time of this video. One low to one high instantly, the possibility of missing our flight to being squeezed through lickity split was spectacular, funny how the ladies can pull it together when forced. Have fun in Turks, jerks.

Leg room. FOR ONCE.

Shining Time Station smooth.

These shots are mirror checks actually I wanted to see if my tears melted my makeup off. No matter what though you will always look like a total idiot taking a picture of yourself at an airport no matter the slob-factor of the peeps looking down on you. I wanted to be as far away from everyone at that point. I had to comb the entire airport for a can of soda then the cashier woman was gruff and passive aggressive to me and made me wait longer. My eyes bulged out of my head at her and I went, “REALLY!” threw the money down and did the thirty yard dash to this wall for a little breather.

Then I changed in to airplane clothes cos we were chilly on the way over. Don’t I look like a secret lesbian ventriloquist who cameos on variety shows? That’s my Killigrew shirt and my 3F vest, both very cool Raymi approved brands.

I was photo-blocking Georgia I guess but also did not really understand what was going on here. Like, why can’t you get a photo of me? Like I asked. Four hundred times. Mom.

Look how weird that airport is. Love it. And Lolo Love you. Mom, yeah you’re cool too.

And so my plane DOESN’T fall from the sky and crash which I was paro of the entire time on my trip because I can relax like that (can’t) and we have our nice private little honeymooner’s reunion and it was a very fun evening. Overtired for sure, my suitcase was fun to rifle through. I partied in my red monokini (I will be rocking tomorrow n the boat!) and we watched The Notebook. Photos of Steve’s tissue mountain further down this post

I look like airplane garbage but whatever. We were so clingy this evening ahaha so funny like please don’t go out of my sight while I go get my chapstick I WILL JUST DIE.

I wonder where that ring went.

I wanted to get in absolutely everything, all bling.

I was vacation skinny too.

Steve is a wizard. He obeys all signs, listens to/acknowledges them, so we try to keep it positive and luckily chinese food has rained some good ones down on him and done all the manipulating for me ahah thanks Lee Garden or whomever.

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