von raymi from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

do you want to see the sexiest act ever? i’ve got something to prove so just watch me. if paddy is crap then i’m doing all three sets. ha kidding. but now seriously. i am giving away three spots on my guest list to first takers. approach me afterward once you are inspired and join pin-up league with me. every tarty suspicion you have, come see it for yourself. i am bringing bombshell back to blogging.

raymi disney princess blonde white from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

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see you in half an hour right here! luc’s bday! salvador darling 1237 queen st west.

blond jovi have arrived.

i love my head band it’s very roman royal to me. i think of her:

iced coffee wake up. on way to drake.

jenny said my hair was better and made her feel brunette. ew. burn!

ugh brain damaged. i’ll make captions tomorrow. (I never ever did LOL).

the foodie blogger gets a taste everywhere she goes. i better not put on all that weight i just lost.

nick topped the edamame cos i said we just came from the drake. all the industry big players compete and hang and party hardy together so it’s funny and kind of brilliant knowing i’ll be blogging both in the same post.

my life is business and pleasure, mix them up. this is a lifestyle blog in case you were wondering.

happy for the rabbit grazing base we did last night if not for both apps i think i would be in rougher shape. my motion room work out today helped me HUGE.

this is what happens when you keep the rock dream alive. dad i’m penny lane. except not a tramp. i am an institution.

such an amazing show.

the only band i actually 100% give a shit about i don’t care if nerds and poseurs are joining the bandwagon. i liked ‘em first. i have at least 10 dancing to various black keys songs videos online. viral even. had to delete one cos of psychotic hipster sxsw losers harassing me.

and my tumblr is littered with their lyrics and cryptic meaningful captions.

this is why summer is better.

we rocked out. platinum spice girls.

jealous darius?

at the thompson.

right off the bat we had vultures who dragged us over for free drinks. then we were rescued.

i need more wind machines. or to somehow get on to dog the bounty hunter.

this is how we do it.

met a ton of amazing people last night. real people. old schoolers. my kind.

i get vertigo.

another night killed by raymbo and jenga. til next time sister.

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wiping my blackberry pics so here we go.

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i could be in the next x-men.

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i’m nauseous here and we are driving through a flood. a bit worrisome. we are tailing gary and the boys to flanigan’s, this rib place they were obsessed with. they went four times. i almost barfed. my appetizer was a glass of brut.

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drag show night before, fourth of july themed. ahhhmazing. i tried to turn my chair around but got lipped over the mic by the diva hostess queen. then someone said it was canada day and another queen went that was so kanye west of you. i am not taylor swift i will sit on you if you talk during my speech again. me-ow. superb.

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we had flavoured vodka and that solved all the bitchiness problems.

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then raymi the fucking minx got the whole crew back into mangos gratis. great spot at the bar. stayed hours. left pisstanked drunk. we will come back to this juicy night.

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this is how i spent my hangover. priceless.

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because of the mangling the girls experienced we had a chill night on lincoln and a beautiful italian dinner. these are highlights, my mom has thousands of photos of every single thing we did. i got a break.

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one of these guys called me hippy. i sat there fuming secretly and sitting as skinnily as possible.

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meh.

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another perk of beauty currency is a $200 bottle of REAL champagne (from france) bought for you from an admirer.

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my last meal on the terrace. it was beautiful i was glum and happy at the same time. since i’ve been back i haven’t let bitter seep in yet. i am fighting the good fight. life is good. i can’t wait to see my dad and brother.

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those shorts man i tell you. i did not wear them everyday. nine days. 7 outfits a day. 4 bikinis. bipolar. visualize it.

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ordered off menu. blackened chicken on a salad. baby gets what baby wants.

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i had my own chauffeur drive me to the airport i was frantically texting lois. then i strangled my mom and we pounded my last mini bottle of cava. successful departure. this is when the luck ran out and her luggage was sent to myrtle beach. i did my nails on the flight.

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i’ve got a new touchpad. i was late for the games casie hissed at me on the phone. whatever dude i’ll still blast a great review with multiple insertions. i am new technology phobic. what i really need is a new laptop so i can finish my book. i am willing to stamp a sponsored by thanks in it.

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great spread and i showed these people that “i’m the girl” cos i was the last man standing, still on party vacation time, chatting up a gal who worked there who spotted me at the party and knows me through ginger. we have a mutual celebrity man in our recent dating’s past. we trashed on him appropriately and sufficiently enough til i sauntered out to meet teacher.

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the hp touchpad launches july 15. FIRST! bumped into another bro who was present for this event and HE said that he noticed a few touchpads going up for sale on the webz. tacky poor taste tsk tsk.

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then the trouble yin to my yang arrived. we can only survive hanging once a year. epic shit show. we make waves.

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good thing i got those steve madden wedges. i knew she’d wear hers. i was surprisingly good at tolerating them for the night. changed into burlesque shoes for the thompson.

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this is what i looked like when i demanded reparations from alamo. car rental.

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while starving.

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hangover anxiety shop til death drop. well worth it.

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pre-drank drake sky yard. treated very very well. our entrance song was perfect. lots of ooh la las.

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i also ran out of makeup and look tired in a lot of pics. but uber babe in many others.

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showed her off at NSC.

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and more princess treatment. of course.

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jenny has way better pictures when she emerges from mega death hangover hahaha she’ll send them. i have so many more from my mother to deal with so it’s no rush either way.

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i bought us black keys tickets. day of. front row. replete with VIP. and they let us walk down to floor with our “waters” hahaha bare legs in wedges and platinum hair. so many gross dudes said rude shit to us on our stupid walk through the parking lot after the show. do you put lemon in your hair? no fuck you my hair is worth more than your life. do you normally say obnoxious things to random people when you’re walking around? how is that working for you? that shut him up. no one got comped tickets cos black keys are divas i guess and greedy want all the money they can get. the show was sold out for months. i wasn’t sweating i knew we’d get dope seats.

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after hanging around so many hotels it was fun to hang out at the thompson last night. that pool is majorly heated. i would have gone in if i had a bikini. when opportunity knocks, knock its fucking socks off. you have to be special to get up there fyi.

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then a nightcap and another spectacular view of this great city.

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brb!

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wakeboard wipe out.

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someone said i look like a barbie doll.

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loved the lizards. fed them. beckoned to them.

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had to explain to my mother what this meant. she did not believe it. so oblivious.

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see lois and i down there.

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reassurances for gamblers. just made me angrier.

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advised mother not to get this one. too clunky juvenile busy rainbow. tacky. despite both being drawn to it.

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super jet setty. hotel hopping. lois has ADD like us. always travel with hyper spazzes.

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raymbo watch.

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back with another very soon.