I look like a band slut. Jules is in laladancecarebearland.

Princess Leia joined us this evening.

Busted. Photographers always give themselves away. These pics are by Chris Luckhardt thank you for capturing us :).

Kraftwerk voice, “we wur dringking fancy spaw wahter all night long.” That’s right Deeter.

Looks like Dance running club will be starting sooner this season than we originally thought.

Look I am waving to someone on my Toilet Time Talk Show.

Here you can barely see what is going on but if you highten the brightness on your monitors if you aren’t too busy then it should be fine. Here is another instance in where Jules and I had to bully some knowledge on to Bech about flash photography and beams. The flash was sucked up by the object you aimed it at, I saw it, I saw you girl, I saw that red fuckin beam aimed at the wall stupid.

See there you go dumb dumb pants. 3 people favorited this on flickr. jajaja. It’s late but not late-late but getting there we were on our eighth wind and the cray girls kept cackling how happy they were that we bounced early and going over the night’s battle stories, the good, the bad and the fugly, and the desperate, and the s-talk and the trainwrecks. What man, these people talk mad shit about me it was nice to see them in true form. Also it was a pretty good party time excellent I must say and everyone was amazed that the kid came with me, Jules of course. I was expecting and paranoid that when we became friends all this dramz would occur, friend-stealing (which we are ALL way too old for) and raymi-bashing and I was right. It’s disconcerting to be proven right and attacked and taken from, people do not want me to have ANYTHING. Here is a classic one, you should distance yourself from raymi she is bad for your image lol meanwhile copy everything she does. jajaja.

Omg look how stressed out I am, I was. We were late after my roller derby love a heart date, he locked the steering wheel and we were calm as cucumbers and it was a blistery cold wind far far from the city, I was already feeling tired from the night before‘s “work” and unbeknownst to me, coming down with something to boot.

Yeah guy, props to the props.

Hi potatoes.

I did not even want to drink anymore but I did, but only for you and only because it was the craziest candle-lit booze bottle vigil ever and well, when in Rome. Dude checking me out we partied with the night before and I guess he still had a boner to pick with me jajajaja. Jules and I had a girl night solo mish and the difference between a 20 year old and a 28 year old doing a three day Belushi affair is like night & day, or, night & cray in this case. I almost don’t want to drink anymore and haven’t since. Another thing is, dudes cannot accept hanging out with girls period if there is no horseplay in the for-seeable future in store for them and it was very FUCKING RUDE and annoying for them to continuously not take no for an answer, I was forced to sexually harass them back I almost actually fought the guy staring a hole in my head and his buddy, my new buddy and colleague of sorts was like guy, she’s going to write about this. We are totally cool now and I am too nice for my own good but i still gotta write about this dude. Anyway, I think we were on our high horse a bit for being chastity of Boners (Chastity Bono anyone? Please say some smart people are reading thanks) but still, I need my girls right now and my chickdependence and chicksand (thanks Serge for that) and the next person who fucks with it, will suffer.

I like adorablah Harry Potter a lot he is a ladies man for sure and was swing dancing away and I had to ask him if he was on (he wasn’t) mdma because he was so cuddly and fit in my koala bear papoose and during our lets bounce yay cray huddle he got in on it and Rebecca stared him down like a witch ahahahahhaha I am never going to get through this post if I keep recounting everything like this holy crapola. Also, by the cray, we were requested a yay cray stance pose demonstration for our fanboys. Maybe if we are lucky and recruit enough guys we can totally recreate the wickerman in bellwoods. What’s the first rule of yay cray, never delay a yay cray.

A blank page can be like porn to an artist, writer, poet, you get it.

One of my current endearingisms.

I messed up the A. So I was a stupid.

Guh-rind a dutty dutty one sha-ba! (I’m sorry the sunshine is getting to me).

I felt the party host should be addressed but also felt unsure of that they would take it literally and now they hate me some guy the next day cleaning up all that mess flipping through the party notes, oh no. Whatever, sell it on ebay or learn from it. See that drink there, Fucking Rebecca flipped the page open without looking at the drink and it sloshed all over me, just right after a girl had already done that to me in the kitchen I was starting to get suspicious that this was happening on purpose.

Thank yew once again for making me look good. Aaand I just lost all ability to do anything in my own flickr account so we will be right back as they say in show business. OMG it works I tweet-blasted-gun-jumped. Oh well. Hi y’all. I guess this is alson a live blog post, it’s a glorious day today, I am better than ever bright eyed and bushy tailed and it’s date night!

I made her face too fat.

Sad.

I even added that weird dot on your head.

Ahh look out!

Yay Cray protege draws the family.

You look like my niece. The teeniest part 1 to this post btw.

I look like I just exercised and some of my make up is trying to leave my face. Dancing in knit tights with a fireplace on in a packed room will do that to ya plus being sick. Excuuuuuuuuses!

She does that so much it’s permanent I think. Whattagwan Lauren O! Let me at those other pics of us on yer phone rude gal.

Bech threw a finger blaster on the flash I am sure. Where was I at the time? Moon walking or shuffling or grinding or oh right, the balloons. I almost did the splits on the dancefloor because of a fucking balloon and a spilled drink, very dangerous floors. We had several dance groupies and even some top notch qual-itay ladies complimenting my moves. Stuff dreams are made of.

Not only am I meticulous in my HERE IS EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME EVER accounts, but these brosephs re-tell me the same garbage over and over and over again too, it’s funny and like come on shut up already! This is probably the burlesque dancer they met when I was MIA and I gather this from a photograph only.

So they do the recruiting for me. Hurray yay cray.

Dave Grohl was there!

Kerry please explain your shirt slogan and why? Also who was the owner of your spy dslr camera and where can I get those shots?

Party vortex!

Baha look at Jules. I will pretend you’re dancing to Bangles, I bet you weren’t even alive when walk like an egyptian came out. I just read some of the song lyrics, here is our newest slogan: LIFE’S HARD YOU KNOW, OH WAY OH. SO STRIKE A POSE ON A CADILLAC. jajajjajaja!

There’s the money honey.

Okay relax spice girls.

Spot the Raymbo.

Casie your whole outfit is working, I likey. And thank you for telling me I looked hot a billion times (I rounded up) have a great time in Austin and don’t think we won’t be spying, don’t forget to check the roof before driving off #wakestock.

When you contort your neck it’s pretty party trickery and old lady party too.

Post party protocol is to launch yourself backward superman style in to one’s bed and make Jules snort laugh WITH BRACES omfg adorablah. There’s more pics I am going to add from motionblur once I finish ours.

See how I will be smiling when I am dead j/k guys death boo scary bad wrong hiss!

Take it off potatoes!

Spying on the party from afar and can’t believe one thing we saw.

Somehow we were able to all fit squished in that bed. Poor Jules in the middle, always the little sister baby bear.

Stop looking like a teenage runaway Jules jajaja are you in pain or pleasure? My friend emailed me this one and said simply, sigh. I loaded it up thinking oh jeez what disgusting thing have I done now and voila, this. That is a lesson in doing it right I suppose and a hallmark reminder of why I ever began blogging, sidenote that is, smut peddlin’ to men the majority of my audience I thought but now it’s mean girls. Do you think any man would comment here to be mean? We are just girls having fun and being stupid and telling jokes.

Jules tweeted 3 girls 1 bed and I was like they are going to think we are blasting for sure.

I thought the bed would collapse for sure and that I wouldn’t get any sleep at all. We stayed up VERY late. It was to be my last gong show (not really!) well I knew I would need a week time out at least but, we did fall asleep and Jules’ gentle mouth breathing lulled me right on to jajajajaland. My phone died and I had slight anxiety about being in trubs with the boss (teacher) but I emailed him a late email which he got (but I didn’t know that!) and I said where I was blabbity blah being in a relationship and separate partying can be stressful. Trust is a vital component.

HAhaha I call this one WHEN BECHNIQUE GOT HER CRAY BACK.

Okay can we go dance now? OMG ahhaha Bech your face! LOL.

Bleeehehehehehee.

I’m only going to eat those if you have himalayan salt. ONLY.

Starving. Can’t wait that long.

Horseteef!

UM-anuma-numa-numa-num. Num nums. num. ha. Hahaah.

She picked up the liefuski whatever potato vodka bottle and said I AM GLAD WE ALMOST FINISHED THIS BOTTLE! And I wanted to vom down myself. To me, that bottle represented the last 3 nights of #31waystodie and I squeaked out a no mo-ar, peas I’m too old for this shit.

Guy I always Himalayan salt mortar and pestlin’. She made us potatoes and egg, so euro.

Then they made us go outside I don’t know why I was sick and it was scary windy cold and Rebecca had to lecture me about how she could match my BK tweets with Mcdonald’s tweets and I was like yeah M-F-er GO AHEAD!

She only looks so stressed out because of her haircut I swear there isn’t a secret ball and chain attached to her little ankle, it’s all about choice in life my amigos. Brb with a few more pho-tos. MMmmm pho. Pho sho.

SO Rebecca.

Classy and Sassy Toilet tv show. That’s a clean floor!

Everyone (not me!) was spilling drinks on me it was ridiculous. Just as my shirt would finally dry it would happen again good grief and so I changed.

Okay bye bye.

She always interrupts exercise time she just loves me so much we don’t know what to do!

I don’t know how successful a blobber I shall be today, there are stars floating in my vision and it looks like I have 20 fingers speeding typing this crap to you right now. I am on the mend from my weird flu one part party one part, flu? But only in that it’s maybe mid-way point but I am still deep in the throes of it. Oh boohoo what else is new whining on a blog everyday what is the diff between that and not being sick? Hmm, well cold medicine for a start. I guess I eat a little less, and I couldn’t sit up at all yesterday. This is what’s in store for you if you catch the raymi 31 ways to die virus. I think I need to re-word that one because it might make the viewer think that I am turning 31. Which according to How I met your Mother is a disgusting age to be. But 28 is alright. OMFG it’s my last month of being a 28 year old and a week has been wasted trying to act like an 18 year old so there must be a lesson in here somewhere people. J/k like I give a care about anything ever party on wayne.

I like how Rebecca has to tell a story about every thing she pulls out to show us like how I do too but this was funny because she said AND I GO OUT SHOPPING WITH THIS like hello is there some other purpose for, this? And the second funny thing about it is she thinks she should get a medal for it too I threw myself on the bed laughing and no one knew why I was laughing which of course made me erupt in to more giggles for it. That is probably when the atom was split and the sickness started its thing.

It’s just desserts that the next coming day’s posts will all feature how I did this to myself. Colleague asked if I got a flu shot and I don’t believe in that hocus pocus baloney, I believe that people SHOULD get sick because it makes them stronger, maybe not an 80 year old lady but you know a my age type person should still be able to get battered from a bad bug for a week and fight it out, it’s good for the soul searching even though in the beginning stages I was quite petrified I had meningitis (I am an alarmist through and through) and was going to die, I had horrible migraines all over my body and it felt like all of my organs shut off, pain everywhere like my own Trainspotting moment. I haven’t drank in days too I’m quite proud to say considering I treat all life’s ailments like a polish grandma’s and pour some vodka on it. Keeding just keeding. Tak tak tak. Lol. See I told you I am squirly so I can say anything I want today.

Chi Chi No No is the name of that cat making contact to her people via this photo. Yes actual name. Cat people are cray don’t forget. Make sure you see Puss n Boots, so many cat jokes and cute cats and it’s very clever. We watched it Sunday over Booger King as I began my caterpillar in to death sick town butterfly transformation on the couch. Dad you will like that movie.

I am brushing my hair with the cat brush, well pretend, I think my salon would flip bananas if that was for real and say hello to sergio who was a yay cray with us too he only innocently dropped in to something I forget and then was hypnotized by the almighty yay cray powers of our prowess and stuck around to bear witness to some seyances aka drinking potato vodka and dancing in shadows.

Look it’s my tupperware it never made it home and see by tupperware it’s actually a delivery container. I can make a to-scale pyramid out of my collection one of these days jajaja.

It’s weird how my head is shrinking right? Normally when girls get skinnier their head is a big bobblehead like Lindsay Lohan’s during her opening on SNL but not mine stay tuned!

Did you skin snakes with that?

I need a tan now. It’s ridinkulous.

That’s called dancing! I think?

Jules enjoys shakin’ her boot-ay it’s fun dancing with you kid.

It’s funny watching dude pervs in the room staring googly eyes at Jules and sorry for cock blocking you, it’s her choice too. As we left the party I was like now Jules, you can go back there and have any guy you want, is that what you want? We have a yay cray party huddle and continue off home, leaving 3 guys running after our cab. One girl at the party was like why is everyone horny? Ha I can’t wait to blog that we got a lot of great fun photos. I never go to parties, I miss a lot of events, and seeing as I make making a coffee an event can you imagine what cray of an event-event I can make? And by my own steed too, social relevancy is not my problem it is yours.

Directing these yay crays to stand in the light was impossible.

Nay cray I say.

Rebecca is just in her own world. What would we name this place?

Ok dinklings let a pro show you how it’s done. Sometimes I get a really nice photo of Rebecca only after telling her to just take my direction (she is stubborn) and then I have to talk in caps lock NOW %$#^$% LISTEN TO ME I WAS ONE OF THE FIRST GODDAMN PEOPLE TO USE ONE OF THESE FRIGGING CAMERAS STOP NOT LISTENING TO ME. Then she listens.

Oh right we are going to figure out the lighting in Yay Cray Palisades because you have to keep the kitchen light on which is too bright, you need better mood lighting. People afflicted with my special sensitivities are in fact allergic to bad lighting. Fact.

Okay okay lets Yay Cray it out and all is well again.

Jules bewbies make me want to puke so jealous.

Someone said I can get a doctor note basically claiming to be sad for being flat and get implants. Hmmm.

JAjajaja.

Oh but of course who do you think was taking all the other YC pics. Serge might let us tie him to a tree and throw painless objects at him for a YC ceremony.

Even though it is bad luck to have a man around for YC club like having women on board a pirate ship, or any ship? Which was just a lie to go off without women you jerks but yeah we let Serge in once he agreed to take our pictures.

Bech said she had tacos yesterday. Grr. Not that I had any appetite yesterday or today for that matter but everything made me jealous yesterday, good thing I stayed off the internet. I watched Anderson Cooper give away a bunch of stuff on tv and I was jealous of everyone in the audience who all looked healthy and vital and their lives were together and they were going places even though they were sitting in a tv studio audience like morons with nothing better to do and the show was all about the internet and viral youtube channel people, and a girl in the audience just started her own youtube (cool story get lost!) and they gave her $1k for new “equipment” (WTFFF) and lessons (?) plus youtube trade secrets (I am sure!) at youtube camp (making that up) basically with a crash course on how to do it right. Canada is holding me back I thought lying down 180 degrees on the couch as a sickness statue.

While Serge and I were discussing a-holes, these guys were re-inventing the jean short.

Well, at least my eye makeup looks good.

I look like I am in a cottage. That’s my MO/how I live my life anyway, like it’s a cottage and always drinkin’ on tha porch time.

Just because we like to dance doesn’t mean we always get it right and at the same time.

Phewf, saved by this gem.

What’s that move called again?

Girls see how intricate I am at all times? SEE!

And this is a dance representing degrading whomever is dancing nearest to you it’s hip hop’s version of capulet vs montague thumb biting or whatever they did.

The Yay Cray Beam passes through the center of our pentagram I can’t wait to watch this in movie form.

See her scar? Once in awhile we get to hear I SHOULD BE DEAD proclamations. Chilling. I won’t know what she’s talking about and will apply it to no no you’re just having a bad week lol then clue in oh right, that, yes totally but you’re not yay cray power was watching over you.

By the power of yay cray it was not your time to go to kokomo yet so that means you probably have to “make something of your life” boring worthwhile stuff like that see I told you there was a lesson somewhere in all of this.

It’s nice to have a yay cray in your life, more people should embrace their quirks, dedicate blogs to them, start your own thing and forget about memes because we get it already.

Uhoh sexy pants time def time to go home ps serge’s eyeballs the YC worked on him.

It would be funny to share the funny reaction Serge had to bech’s sweater when she showed it to him but I can’t, sorry!

But I will do this little dance for you to apologize instead.

Brad Pitt has ruined these hats for everyone.

This is what you have to look forward to btw!