big times gig times

Hello hello HELL OH. Lets see. Write a list of things that are pissing me off right now OR go into blogzilla mode and write ding dong poetry like I have been intending to for days along with these awesome visuals. I really need to turn off devices, unplug, disengage. Do it up right like I always did before here. Shut out the haters. The hater does not exist and don’t feed the trolls. It’s goals goals goals. If I told you all “what is really going on” rn you would understand. I throw myself into art because it’s what I like to do and it is the only thing that saves me in the end. The only thing that is good in all of this dog shit and turmoil. Art is what drives and inspires me. I get too caught up in the the tornado I whip up around me at all times and I turn my back on my art. For shame!

Gabby and I had a great shoot on Saturday. Angie was and is a pro you’ll see as we go I’m sure you’ve cruised my IG account already anyway and seen them. I’m going to swing by Richard Freedman‘s soon and check out the rest he does great work! What my leg looks like in this photo is not up for discussion either. Bodyshaming is outdated asf and you don’t get to be part of this world if you act that way. Negativity trips people up so badly and is used as a force to do exactly that. I don’t respect people who do this and I don’t react very well to FUCKING ASSHOLES fyi. Get people who actually want to listen to you, cos I’m telling you it sure asf is not me.

My shoot on Sunday with Kane and John was a literal breeze. I was frozen asf. I pushed it to the limit this weekend but I sure asf got results so pardon my insanity at the mo. Running your own brand takes a lot out of you. If I actually laid out my mass-daily communications out for you from all the networking, planning, and scheduling that I do, checking in with my inner circle and my own researching and writing plus all the hours I piss away on social media combined with those few moments where I actually get a second for myself and mental clarity wherein I come up with a new good idea and then get the gears in motion to put it to fruition all the while riding my phone and more messages with people that come at the cost of “being popular” and that’s not said in an arrogant way it’s just a bold fact. Trust me. I know not all circles are open to me and that’s totally okay because I am too busy working with new talent, people, artists, those who are positive and inspired and want to work with me. I have woken up and I get it now. We do not work with NO people here.

I have an impatient, frenzied, impatient demeanour about me when I get this way. When I feel like an elastic band stretched too thin. Because I feel in a hurry. The other day I had a revelation about it all and I will tell you about it.

Other than the fact that I am done pleasing other people. I remembered this Lady Gaga interview I saw where she is SO CALM speaking in it. The polar opposite of me. I was struck when I first saw this particular interview (I will try and find it for you guys) by how eerily slow she spoke and I found it almost to be, a put-on, because come on it’s gaga we’re talking about here. I’m going to picture her sitting in that chair in her slow, calculated, fashion next time I am manic running my mouth off a mile a minute and slow down. She was actually fatigued at the point of the interview and was speaking this way to keep her decorum and sustain her energy whereas when I am burnt-out I amp it up and speaking extra-fast. This also seems to coincide with people pushing my buttons on all fronts, which is why I am doing a gradual skimming, phasing out thing. Anyway that’s my relevation and share about it. It’s important to recognize when things are pissing you off and people are driving you crazy and to do something about it. I know that people are determined to destroy me, it is fact. For jealousy, for sport, I don’t know why. It’s repugnant.

I’m happy with the amateur shots I will be totally thrilled by the pro ones. I’ve been dying to work with Angie Feret for ages now. Finally it happened.

The concept for this was girl pile and I wanted us all in matching looks, like triplets. With clompy black hoof-like shoes. Some men on FB were like what about bare feet? What about them? This concept is not up for discussion, it’s not our problem you have a foot fetish. Have artistic suggestions all you want, but, actually no. You’re not the director. End of story. You were not on-set. This was not your idea. This is OUR baby. When you talk to your television does it respond? Computer is acting up have to cut this short ttyl shower time sexcellent.