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OMGsssssssssssssss

this cool ass chick is coming by tomorrow to help fix my bikes, she works in a bike shop, omg bikes! she is even bringing me a lock (i’m paying for the lock) and she’s doing the fixing for free all i gotta do is buy her a drink also she is buds with my cuz cuz they went skinny dipping together TMI? she also told me how to get the rust off, bike lube (hahah) oil? and steel wool. once they’re both square and i ride around for a bit i’ll decide which one i want to keep. just thinking about both of them i feel like a total bike hog i am picturing myself floating in the air all around them in a circle and then they are ghost riding me standing up on their seats like water skis EXCEPT BIKES DO NOT RUIN THIS MOMENT FOR ME. i will also ask her how much they are worth. my friend matt doesn’t want a peddle braked bike so it’s pretty much up for grabs *if* i decide i can bear to part with it. the other one was my grandfather’s so i don’t even know if i can part with that guy.


haha look at cid waiting for fil if you are able to take your eyes of the vision what is my ass.


everyday around the time i do my hair and make-up i become invisible to cid as he sits and meditates by the door, attempting to transmit COME HOME NOW signals to fil. we are both pathetic losers for fil, as long as one of us is doing the mental chanting it’s fine by me. though i can’t help but be slightly insulted, i mean, i deal with his shit all day long, we make buds, i pay him some attention, give him lunch, arrange a fort or two no biggie but then come after work time i am a nobody. SOB.


mbroszkowski: oh! do you want a coupon for licks?

me: no i am too fat for licks
i mean yes i want it

mbroszkowski: I went and got a turkey burger
for lunch today
on a whole wheat bun

me: mmm and?

mbroszkowski: fries and soda water

me: no i mean where is this story going
i thought u were going to say there was a rat in it so u got a coupon
what is this coupon for
if i have to buy something then u can fuck off with this coupon

mbroszkowski: no, I got it from a friend of mine, you have to buy fries and a drink and you get a burger for $1

me: what a sham

mbroszkowski: you still save like $5

me: well i dont eat fries
and i dont drink pop unless there is booze in it
so do i just print out a million of those coupon emails

mbroszkowski: exactly
I drink soda water, I rarely drink pop
too sweet

me: do they even have soda water at fast food chains

mbroszkowski: you don’t eat fries????? since an hour ago?

me: soda water with syrup in it

mbroszkowski: yes, every chain has soda water

me: oh well that time we ate poutine doesnt count cos we were in a dive bar

mbroszkowski: so when was the last time you had fries before then?

me: um the last time was also a time with u at the tap cos sass ordered poutine
if someone says the word poutine near me or shows me it written on a menu and im drinking im fucked

mbroszkowski: that’s like me and mcdonalds

me: i only eat garbage if i am drunk or hung

mbroszkowski: me too

me: which is all i ever really am

mbroszkowski: hahaha
I have occasional lapses though
today I was trying to be as healthy as possible even though it was licks

me: like when we kept using the mcdonalds bathroom on canada day i wanted to buy a big mac everytime ok we have to stop talking about this right now

mbroszkowski: hahaha
ok one last thing, I hate that I’m cursed with one at queen and spadina, ever since I moved there my drunken mcdonalds intake has like quadrupled

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