fil‘s right, to sell more alarms the commercial should go, a bear breaks into a home, picks out important things to smash and stomp on, has his way with the pregnant mexican maid, wipes his ass with ancient pictures, eats all the salmon, leaves the toilet seat up and like. generally spazzes on the house before scampering off laughing and the people will be kinda mauled
and then someone like me gets up there at the end and says hey if a dumb ole bear could do it then don’t you think i or this idiot could too? and then i’d point at an idiot
then you get your fear and your laughs and your science because bears can open doors.
love ryan
i love it how i have the sort of platfrom where i could write about people made out of garbage and impaled orangutans by unicorn horns and someone somewhere has two cents to chip in about it basically one-upping my mental retardations one day at a time.
ps. orangutan is the stupidest word.
pps. i’m going to tag one day at a time at the end of every sentence i say in real life from now on like how i said i was going to put a moral at the end of every blog post a year ago and when i went through my archives i noticed that i more or less stuck to that for a good little while, maybe i should bring back morals?
the moral of this post is i like chimay beer because it’s like a champagne bottle of beer for $6.30 and it has momentarily made me a comedian.
