Amsterdammit

Before I move on with more of my perpetual garbage I have to blog some pics I’ve already uploaded or the neurotic gods will will furrow their uni-brows at me for days until I do. It seems stupid cos I’ve still a batch more of pictures to go through and upload from Amsterdam and this is just a little handful however I’ve also got a bit of Germany pictures to finish off too so combined, we have ourselves something of a post.

That dude is chilling with a beer see? That’s so Raymi. It’s also the doppleganger of a guy from Oakvegas I used to know if I told a couple of bar flys they would laugh their lush asses off so hard at that one.

Sneak attack pictures typically turn out blurry on account of the sneaking and shaking from the treasure you have spotted.

Corner pocket hang out of a hotel.

It says porto fino over there, Italian restaurant. Thanks to Dirty rotten scoundrels that’s one of my favourite things to say and places I want to go. Add that tidbit to your Raymi 101 notage.

Dreamy.

Oh you again. Window peeking in Amsterdam is easy cos it’s all eye level, it’s a tall nation so I guess it makes sense. I love watching people most over-said thing by everyone ever BUT what I really love is watching people be normal in their homes, high intrigue factor there. I watched a guy at his computer guying out all normal and shit IT BLEW MY MIND. Then we watched two ladies on their laptop with a bottle of wine watching something on youtube. Then there’s all the basement apartment dwellers, one guy’s stoner cave was epic and he was watching Charlies Angels 2 on big screen with piled garbage on either side of the tv. What’s with me? Is it an I feel like a specimen thing or watching people before they watch you watch out. Omg can you imagine if I saw someone eating Cheerios I’d be blown backwards through tiiiiiiime. End bit.

These ones have Instagram porn all over ‘em no filter omg shut up. I saw a lady whining about “#nofilter” and it was so something her demo would whine about it took a lot to restrain mouthing off about it on twitter. I lasted 2 days (at least) I think.

Reminds me of Lower East Side these downstairs doors. A great band name btw.

Whimsical dusted streets.

Yeah yeah just keep going with it.

It reeked of weed here. It Eurekeda. If jokes just magically appear to you all of the time does that mean you are a wizard of comedy? Yes I definitely have the crazy genes but I’m also crazy smart and crazy funny. I’m not apologizing for this I am owning this.

But guess why it reeked of weed because a college aged Italian tourist was feeding this bird cheese and talking to his buddy hanging out of a window up above in the hotel.

She only eats cheese he said. Sure guy you’re so baked right now I bet you eat shoe laces.

This was hilarious to us but now that I have seen every bird ever and always it’s kind of no big deal now but at the time it was like this bird is so out of place here, she’s the pet that they feed cheese to. Amsterdam is a wacky place.

I don’t know what that means but the speed limit is not fifty in this neighbourhood enclave it’s the age you turn when you get publicly mortified by it. Kinda like my mom forever fifty. Can pass for mid 40’s though for sure. Am I dead for that one? Don’t care I’ve been up since 6am when we got the call.

God can you at least make my dummy look like a unicorn or a hello kitty princess and not something I’d shit my pants to having a clown nightmare about in the middle of the night and not be able not get back to sleep thanks. Props on using the authentic clothes though that’s why it’s so creepy because it is too real. You can use my clothes though because it will be more hilarious but if you make it look old I will trash it. At a traditional Swiss Chalet family dinner we’d take turns drawing each other on the place mats and make one another look haggard, old, they’d always give me bee sting tits (assholes) and dad would have crazy bacon and eggs hair and mom’s hair would be HUGE with cats all around her and Shawn would draw himself all cool and smoking and I’d have troll dolls and other embarrassing teenagery girlish shit.

Fast forward through then we were done with Amsterdam, had Irish coffees and left. I’ll post the rest another time.

On to Germany now. This is about the time it started warming up over here.

Green yeah yeah blah blah gorgeous view.

This feels like a long time ago now.

Go again please, I guess I should actually frame something next time instead of hyper-focusing on getting the heart right.

BF loves my new hair colour. The darker my hair the more power I have. Is what I learned yesterday. It makes him like me more, more likes more power. Kinda like Facebook. Fwaha life imitating internet. God that is so totally a thing.

I guess I own prancercising pants.

I am cry laughing at this right now. And the music too AHAHHAHAHa.

I wanna fly over you Lost Boys style.

So German of you.

Duck Face and Nana Lips are pretty similar looks.

This was our 2 month mark.

Thirsty. Yesterday was sober day and the day before too. I’m kinda over drinking, okay that’s a lie but I don’t freak out if we don’t drink or get moody or die of boredom, so, that’s good.

The service here is awful, can’t fault ‘em cos who is going to stare out the window and check up on the patio every four seconds? Not very superior that though? We saw others arrive sit and wait forever based on the assumption service would come on account of our beverages however we walked our asses in and announced ourselves first cos we’re smart and knew we’d wait 20 minutes and be pissed off which is what another couple did. I wanted to tell them to go in and get served but we didn’t, if it was in Canada I would have but I didn’t want to yell in English on the patio. Besides, do I have to worry about everyone else all the time and be so fucking Canadian? They’re grown-ups right? Why am I racked with Canadian guilt about it still? I feel responsible because of our drinks meanwhile my bf is like screw them hahaha.

What flag is that it’s missing the black stripe if it’s supposed to be Germanic.

The little town we went to on Friday.

She always looks like she’s flipping you off bonus to the sign that makes me think of Blow me when I see it back there.

I like. Assumed bottle imprints sand-washed I think then illuminated in differing colours.

Hey what’re you doing over there now?

Swoon swoon hot air balloon.

They’ve seen you before but close up spotty. After watching the top ten greatest moments of Toddlers & Tiaras the other day I have day dreams of food colour bottle spray decorating horses. I’m pretty sure the consequence isn’t worth it but come on if you sprayed all your sheep and shetland ponies one day you’d creating such a spectacle here I bet it would make the news. Definitely. I would do that and then cool shit might happen. That’s going in the dream journal.

Then we fed a roadside duck.

Alright it’s TLC time.