I will kill you with stupid

On Sunday bloody Sunday the girls plus Steve and maybe Craig will be turning in to Magic Mikes at Brass Vixens Studio on Queen which is so conveniently located btw I love making new Queen west merchant friends I can visit when out on a run and colleague says if I start going there regularly I’ll get insanely wicked abs. SOLD.

Me talking to Nicole, she showed me this mermaid-themed party poster for an event also under the sea themed and I was like did we miss fake prom already? She said we haven’t who’s to know? The facebook event page there’s a clue Einstein. How much do you want a tutu? I have two of them I’ll bring Sunday. We have one hour for a private party for Jules. She’s leaving us for SF also it’s her 21st birthday too! Can you say RAGER!? Even though I am all raged out I will live to rage another day.

This chick does this twice a week for her exercise, how fun. No kids. The other woman on the other hand has three boys and I asked if they’d seen that viral drawing of the pole dancer a child drew but was actually of the mother selling a shovel and people throwing money at her cos there was a blizzard AGahahahha so the mom had to write a note that she was not actually a stripper? Yes they’d seen it lol. And another one of those this is my life moments goes by folks.

This kid is remarkable and now, infamous. You know that’s my bag. Okay I will stop emphasizing with all these italics. We watched a bit of Bob Saget the nasty show? What is it called? It seems ultra current too cos he made some current events references that I have absolutely no recollection of I will have to check in with my couch co-pilot on that later. Here read blog, edit all my mistakes and lies please thanks. Anyway I mention it because he seemed a little erratic and too real for tv, manic. Yeah that’s it. Obviously I am projecting here.

Nice work. Moving on.

Next time I will select the Ladies option for this mug shot if in NYC during the 1800’s I was a criminal. Merkley can you help me get my LA County drunk tank mugshot please thanks, I want to put it on a t-shirt like you have yours. Maybe they incinerated it because I looked like this, totally:

It’s alright everyone I didn’t break any laws I was just obliterated and cray, had a little nap and then I was on my way la-da-dadee heeheeheh. How many not a poseur stories can I cram in to my blog?

Dayum girl shake it!

I of course am fucking terrible at it. Well I can do some things. I can’t climb it sexily, only like a monkey going up a coconut tree. Serious. But I just want to go upside down so I can have a photo of it. My brain is too valuable to just hang upside for realsies all the time right? Or maybe I can become as good as those psychotically gymnastical burlesque competing dancers. Why did this not occur to me to take this seriously until just now, to better my dancing skills cool story Luh-REN.

Everyone pay attention, attire must be shorts, short shorts. Preferably of the boo-tay variety and Steve, you must wear your teeny new bathing suit and a bow tie. Your co-operation in this exercise is muchly appreciated. Cake will be served in the sitting area while we watch a bootleg copy of Magic Mike (still haven’t seen it) and um hello why don’t we invite your sister+fiance to this??? OMG I hope he says yes she wants to get to know me more and I think this would be too Meet the Fockers not to. Shannon is already dying over how much Steve looks like Bradley Cooper anyway “#poledancingbradleycooperlookalike” LOL!!! Update: They have plans. PHEW. Relief. Right? What was I thinking? (I never think).

I mean what brother wouldn’t want to watch his sister pole dance obviously come on that’s like so totally normal. Do you like how I am dressed like a genie?

Phenom ab work out.

Arms too. I got my free weights back so now I can start toning up again thank god. Need to do a crash weights tone-up all day long today, starting yesterday. You should see how I run, the weird things I do with my arms like a cage fighter and torso twists to get the maximum results out of your run I might go for a bike ride after this to get a tan and exercise and clear my head for some writing that always helps.

I can hold myself for two seconds.

Twisting my legs over like a pinwheel

It was a rainy day so that’s why I wore a hat. And that’s that! I think Sunday is going to be hilarious I cannot wait.

Next up, date night. Peace til then. TGIF!!!

PS. KEEP VOTING PLEASE I WANT TO TAKE STEVESY TO MADONNAAHHHH!!! I’ll owe you one don’t forget. Actually that offer will stand forever okay doke, for other requests of things in the future. My Raymi Network rules and I dig you all so very much. Always have. I’m down with the gratitude. Better than Baditude.