last nite i was in the retard face dance mode. eeeyueeeugh.

stefan was pretty fucking blown away, as well as a million per cent of the santa cruz population out of nowhere it sprinkled rain and everyone headed for the inside, not me bro, i tore up the dance floor and it was bananas. good bananas though. there was this nice black lady watching and her fella and they were like wow white girl’s got MOVES.

i broke a dude’s heart last nite, i found an expensive beer ticket on the floor and proclaimed HEY IT’S A BEER TICKET and this dude beelines toward me and says he will share it with me cos it is his ticket (totes lying and i’m going along with it) and i hold up two brews and say no dude all yours and he is full on cocked and says what if i said i took your eye in my hands? and i say huh so he repeats it and i says are you flirting with me and he says what if i am and i say well my boyfriend is right there (fil was taking pictures of a dead bird i pointed out to make everyone feel MORE shitty for trekking out to captain john’s for the mental chaotic fartfest of money-wasting) and felt bad so i said he looked like joaquin phoenix and sounded like him too (at this point i will mention that i have the brutalist fucking beer goggles in all of the lands i REALLY thought he looked like joaquin phoenix and i still do) and he laughs and thinks i’m hysterical then kinda gets belligerent cos he just realised i am his dream woman on account of my funny joke and he goes well YOU are the one who can’t talk to anyone (did i say that? no.) and you are all MY BOYFRIEND so i cut him off and said NO I JUST DIDN’T WANT YOU TO GO FALLIN’ IN LOVE WITH ME DUDE and then he busted up laughing and walked away all bittersweet nodding at me like i know what’s up.

you can go ahead and file this story under FUCKING RADICAL.

oh paige spotted me in line for beer and i touched her boob well not on purpose cos of her number pinned thing (singles nite hook-up jamboree, and takens can wear numbers too) anyway paige, i felt more bra than tit. not my fault you sneak-attacked me and i am a fucking lech and was trying to read your number.

fil wanted me to wear a number to see how many dudes would leave me notes so he could get angry about it. yeah sorry no thanks disaster waiting to happen.

ok sobriety check i need to know if it was just me or is gwen’s new video the equivalent of falling down a mountain and slamming every boner on the way down? i thank you for your time.

i have infinity more pictures, yesterday was a loooong day, anyway, more later kids.