merkley???: i totally went off on a lame chick last night i was way drunk and she was totally just bad energy city so i just started telling her how much she sucks
me: how so
merkley???: i told her she had a stupid look on her face and that her posture was fake looking and that her fake superiority was totally transparent and annoying and that she was like a black hole for good energy and i’m not a hippy but everyone knows bad vibes
me: WOW
merkley???: anyway, the people i was with that knew her were all being quiet as i thrashed her
me: holy crap how wasted were you
merkley???: but when we dropped her off everyone was high fiving me apparently her own friends hate her too
i was way wasted
me: what was the root of her suckiness
merkley???: thinking she was hot acting like hot shit not turning it off fake aloofness
me: what was she talking about
merkley???: she was hardly talking about anything it was an attitude
me: i fake aloofness well i use to now its like severe looking at the groundness which comes off as snob bitchy
merkley???: anyway — all of her friends sided with me
me: we bumped into this girl on the street two nites ago fil went to school with her and i gave her total bitch face, like full on scowled at her, couldnt help it shes a fucking waste of space, fil was like what the hell was that!? i knew i met her before but i couldnt figure out how i almost said who the fuck are you? i stopped myself she was all flirty hi to fil didnt see me at first despite me carrying my longboard then she got this wave of guilt look on her face like she was super psyched about seeing fil but then noticed witchy me standing there
merkley???: ha — well — some people need to be smacked down
me: she recently did some suspest shit to her bf and i decided the first time i met her that she sucked, like afraid to look at me or acknowledge me, you know when you meet someone they are shady like she would not hesitate to bang fil if i was not there, or try to, or if fil was like that and wouldnt rat her out, that type of shadyness
merkley???: yeah — my first impressions always hold true if i ever get it slightly wrong its me wishfully hoping someone is cool
me: yah i hate expecting someone to be cool and then they arent thats why i keep my expectations low always and then when someone is slightly cool i am beside myself with glee
merkley???: yeah, some people are awful
me: when they’re basically normal and like wtf about your excitement
merkley???: my expectations are pretty inline with reality, tons of mediocrity, little splashes of quality
me: when i come into contact with someone who says something funny, something that i would say, i am dumbfounded and silenced and i hate it, i am never prepared for the awesome, well sometimes i am
merkley???: man — i never meet people as cool as me, i wish i could meet me one day like just run into myself at a bar
merkley???: i wouldn’t try to bug me i wouldnt comment on my beard
me: you would not talk to you because you know how annoyed you would be by that
merkley???: i would just wait until i had a really funny thing to say about someone in the room
me: you are not above waiting 4 hours to say a sentence to someone waste yer whole nite
merkley???: and it would take only 5 seconds to say
me: worth it, fully
merkley???: and i would say it as i handed my other self a drink that i already bought without asking if he wanted it and then i would walk away
me: dude should i jump out of a plane this summer?
merkley???: and my other self would be like — whoa — that dude was cool yes you should
me: my dad would be sick with worry i would shit my pants also
merkley???: dont tell your dad
me: my dad cannot even handle me being on the back of fils bike
