merkley???: what are you going to do with your fame as best blog in canada?

me: not shut up about myself

merkley???: do you think it might turn you more crazy?
or do you think it will calm you down

me: why would it make me more crazy you think
like lindsay lohan?
i hope so
cos then i can lose a bunch of weight

merkley???: turn into a cokehead you mean?

me: no i did that already, briefly tho
do you mean full of myself more than i already am?

merkley???: yeah
but i like you that way

me: is that even possible

merkley???: so it will probably be good

me: yeah cos i can say things like I LIKE TO CREATE ATMOSPHERE and people will be forced to take me/it seriously

merkley???: ha

me: i said that in an interview once for sex tv, they didnt use the line tho
my friends were in the next room listening in and one texted me saying YOU’RE BLOWING IT
ahahahhahahaha

merkley???: nice

me: i was high as hell and drunk and on the cusp of a nervous breakdown
three hour taped interview, 40 seconds they aired
jesus
fucking trainwreck

merkley???: i wanna see it

me: i didnt even see it i passed out on atavan 2 minutes before it came on re: nervous breakdown

merkley???: although i always get a little weirded out when i hear you talk
because i had a different voice for you in my head before i ever actually heard yours

me: i have various voices, im either deep, raspy or high pitched valley girl, that’s when im drunk

please vote for me now so that i can be your lindsay lohan of canada thank you.