ok the movie we watched last nite was YOU ME AND DURPEE now you may have seen it or you’ve heard things about it sucking, and it sort of does and duh i am going to tell you all the reasons why but it’s still ok to rent, not saying that you won’t come away absolutely pissed off or anything however based on past F reviews i’ve doled out half of you say that you LOVED that movie hence my concluding most of you are a chromosome short, ANYWAY, here are my MOVIE OPINIONS in point form, i’ll begin with the reasons why it is bad and nothing will be in order oh and for shit sake stop reading now if you don’t wanted it to be spoiled unlike last time some trollop was like I HATE YOU RAYMI WAH BLA like i controlled her eyes and forced her to read my shitty blog:
-there’s a slow-motion triumphant walking sequence and bad enough as that is, the ones doing the slow-motion triumphant walking are little pieces of shit kids and dupree is leading the pack O!M!G! enough said.
-matt dillon’s character starts hitting the sauce major cos he is stressed about work and dupree and kate hudson’s dad who is played by michael douglas anyway, they set it up so he’s drinking hard liquor every nite and you know it’s coming you know the part where she is all YOU ARE DRINKING TOO MUCH is just around the corner and THEN it gets to the very scene in the kitchen she leans over the kitchen island and there is even a fucking bottle of hooch THAT SHE FUCKING LOOKS AT WITH A I AM GOING TO MENTION THIS BOOZING look on her face and he’s leaning against the other counter and she starts her speech and COMPLETELY FUCKING DOESN’T SAY A WORD ABOUT HIS BOOZING AT ALL the entire movie they set it up like it’s going to be an extra point to inevitably dwell on but then isn’t.
THAT would be like ME collecting newspapers for weeks on end cos i planned to construct a papier mache scale model of the couch so i’m all IN YOUR FACE collecting papers and magazines and asking for you to not throw yours away and this goes on WEEKS and then i just MOVE ON to another project and then you don’t even ask me about the papier mache couch i was planning to make like a fucking moron, you don’t even acknowledge the stacks of newspaper everywhere the fire hazard what is my surroundings instead you are all HEY RAYMI LETS GO GET SANDWICHES.
-michael douglas as dad is exactly how he was in that other wedding movie he was in like fuck off already with the father of the kid getting married movies and stop with the kung-fu i am a millionaire master of my domain moves already you are not the boss of the world nor is your hair and you have shitty comedic timing and when i picture you having sex with catherine zeta jones or making out with sharon stone, i barf through my nose.
-in the beginning of the movie we hate kate hudson cos she is like the witch wife fun-ruiner but then woah didn’t see that coming 180 happens and we like her and HATE matt dillon like WHAT_THE_FUCK? oh and also she drinks a lot of wine too so you are way boner over that until the dream sequence when she’s wearing a bathing suit and heels on a boat (hmm overboard anyone?) and her hair is all huge and blond and she looks EXACTLY like goldie hawn and it IS sickitating.
-there is also this one part that fully should have been a deleted scene, dupree is at the school where hudson teaches and she tells him the librarian is a slut and all these dudes walk by slowly and nod at him like they banged her too and it’s the worst most uncomfortable not funny or necessary scene i canNOT wait for you to see it!
all these things aside and despite the shoddy execution of production on this gem it’s still entertaining and worth seeing cos there are some decent funny bits specifically the end where dupree is “throwing seven different kinds of smoke” oh and i hope you didn’t read any of this if you are actually planning to rent it.
4.5/10 enjoy
