We’re going to have fun if it kills us!

Welcome to another edition of DINKS GONE MILD! Doin’ shit for no reason other than the season (of pumpkins). (shouldn’t I write ad copy instead of this stupid blog?) Do you know what a DINK is? Other than a wicked burn if delivered effectively. A DINK is a double income no kids couple. All this time I thought I was just a person in the world living their life, wrong. I’m a statistic!

It smelled retarded. Like pot pourri limoncello.

They had every thing known to man in a jar. We bought chipotle salsa, it was ludicrously smokey and burned my brains out last night at Sunday scrabble. Dinks enjoy Sunday Scrabble.

Pumpkin Donuts. We got a bag of 8 and Britt I swear I was going to save you one but I put the plate on the table during scrabble and we couldn’t stop. Yesterday was def a binge eating day, I am ashamed.

We got there late cos one of us insisted that we go despite weather and my tardiness. I take my time, I like to have my weekends. I live my life at 90 million miles an hour, yet there is pressure to go out and experience this thing called life especially on Sundays, in autumn. Conundrum.

I look like a lard ass i looked like a stripper girlfriend imitation of the girls next door northern brampton style with those huge cans plus my sweater vest is thick, toddler sized. I keep it pin-up as often as poss.

Oh jesus. Smothered in cinnamon sugar.

Same colour as my eyebrows. Dinks buy ironic treats. We didn’t get to do the corn maze, it was closing. You can do it in the night which is why we thought it would all be open. The weather changed things? I dunno. I get bored fast so I was fine with our mini intense minimalist tour, we bought fudge and a bottle of cab franc, no wonder he suggested that one it was most expensive. DINKS problems no biggie. It was delicious and I hoarded it at the scrabble table after forcing a sip on my dad to prove my dinkness. Ok I’ll stop. It was cold too and my fingers were going wizard white. I have poor circulation.

I’m sorry but my outfit killed it right down to my desert trek clarks that I have climbed a mountain in, actually a few, partied you name it.

Too bad Candyman is a boring movie. It’s scary as hell though. This is scary movie season. We saw the commercial for that movie with the imaginary friend of the little girl and were terrified to death oh my god I love that so much oh my god im so scared right meow! ahahhaha! aghh ! I am also beside myself in cramp pain too and chugging coffee and waiting for the acetomephatemaine whatever that word is kicks in O_O 0_0 o_O HALP! UPDATE: PAIN GONE GOOD.

Thanks a lot mom for ingraining this cheesy shitty cottage home country penchant a la martha stewart. Go through tons of candles. Patricia Romance holla! ‘n kin I get a What’s up Antiques Roadshow, I almost wrote roadkill antiques roadkill haha what the fuck? I think I get a mental leave free pass today in my little story tale blob. Entertainment is better when you go full mental.

I look fat. Donuts won out over these cookies. We were wearing matching DINK sweaters.

Our invitations must have got mixed up in the mail.

Oh my whimsical barf puke much?

I yelled out TORI SPELLING GRADUATES! Teacher goes, DONNA MARTIN! Blahaha I am cute.

Those are legit beatle cards from back in the day. obvs.

I’ve been in like ten vice mags. How many have you been in? I have a three pager too. Teh trollz hate on me for this but whatever guy, it’s called proaction. Don’t take your inaction out on me.

This garbage was in this issue.

Mom’s either gonna be pissed or delighted by my absconding with her little witch boots. Absconding is an embarrassing word I used in THE LAST MINX. The first story of “Raymi.” When I first wrote to vice magazine I needed a zippy name so I stole raymi from my story and made her street, hip hop/dj-ecstasy club kid. At the same time Fritz the cat was around too, coincidentally.

If you want them bring me back my tracey boots then. If not, then fair is fair. Thanks for working them in!

They’re fabulous high-anklets, designer? I know they were expensive. Witch-like, now hipster for sure. Mennonite.

Great close-up on my zit. Someone was feeling artistic.

I look like a potato.

It was a good time. I beat my dad each game. Teacher and Alison one won won one (DYSLEXIC!) each. My dad contested every word of mine cos he couldn’t “handle expressions.”

Then we watched another BB UK when we got home but couldn’t make it through an episode DINK PROBLEMS!

Hallelujah it’s finished!