me and cousin alex hung out yesterday at the mall and then went tanning and i had to buy my own fucking goggles so now i have these crazy little weird purple goggle things in my purse to laugh at. they’re the kind that don’t have the nose rest or elastics so when you are lying down in there you can’t be hyper ‘cos the things will fall off and you’ll get eye cancer so you have to basically, enjoy the whole experience and listen to dance muzak until you fall asleep or are finished masturbating.

so at the mall i bought a bunch of crap for myself and the new coupland book with the other half of the bookstore gift certificate and so now i have a dollar and 48 cents to burn sometime or other when i think of a book that i want which i won’t because i am convinced there will be no new books of any interest out anytime soon.

so we went to this junior girl store ‘cos everything is 50 per cent off the last ticketed price and at the adult version store nothing was 50 per cent off so i looked at everything i could see myself wearing or that could possibly fit me so i bought double extra large sweaters and the two snobby i hate my job i hate my life sales girls who worked there made zero effort to be nice to us, kiss our asses, in fact, they went out of their way to ignore us so of course this was their way of telling me to be big time obnoxious and irritating.

i understand that you are working in retail because you are killing time at school possibly and waiting for a cubicle job or something and that mall jobs suck and people are annoying but you know what, if that’s your fucking job to talk to me and tell me that something looks good on me even if it doesn’t, then fucking do it.

and i know i can be intimidating and abrasive-looking because i have the this is bullshit air about me et all, still, if i am going to go out of my way to be nice to you, and not even fake nice, real genuine nice, and i am not even being paid for it, you should be nice back, moron.

and yes i factored in the possible reason of rudeness being ‘cos i am obviously not a junior girl shopping in a junior girl store for myself and not for my junior girl daughter who is the same size as me but so what, i’m a bloody consumer and no one else was in the store. nobody. l;ishg;reihg;reoighre;lkghfdsgkdfhxvldfsh’.

so mad.

for example, some old guy budded in front of me the other day whilst out getting coffee and i didn’t do anything about it. i didn’t roll my eyes. i didn’t go excuuuuuuuse me old man what the fuck do you think you are doing? i didn’t shove him or scream. i merely looked around to see if anyone else had noticed and nobody did or cared so this told me, let it go, and so i did and then i told aimee about it and she was like good for you.

still, dude was rude and he’ll bud in front of someone else some other day and then there will be an incident but who cares.

i decided to be nice.

when i worked retail ie, with people, i loved talking to them and trying to make them smile or life easier, that’s my nature, so when i see other people being cunts about it, in anything that they do, bad day or not, suck it up and be nice.

learn to connect with people. learn how to be real. don’t be intimidated.