in grade one there was this cute chinese boy named Allan who loved me cuz i told him i liked his jogging suit or something equally lame to that compliment. then i hated him cuz he always followed me around. i use to steal his erasers and then rub them down into erase fluff and then leave the eraser fluff on his seat and when he sat on it the eraser fluff stuck to his skinny ass jogging suit pants.

we went to the zoo and ms.smith made me and and allan partners and i just wanted to die and get away frum him. anyhow, at lunchtime allan kept trying to hold my hand and i couldn’t stand the thawt of him so i pushed him really really hard and he fell back over this wooden fence-thing that had like a four foot drop and allan landed on his head in the dirt. i ran over and looked down at him all upside down and in an uncomfortable pretzel and he was crying and i laffed at him.

this woman saw the whole thing and ran to help him and went, “awwwww.” and sorta picked him up and scowled at me and i flipped out, grabbed allan’s arm and screamed,

“Don’t touch him. he’s MY boyfriend!!!!”

and he goes, “I am?!!!!! oh i lurve you. I knew you loved me too!!” when the lady walked away. and i sed, “Ew. gross. NO!”

I was just embarassed that sumwun caught me being a mean bitch.