flirt with yourself publicly

Hi hi hi Monday hi. It’s gorgeous out. Tomorrow will be 8. 8!

Can I get an amen for self confidence sing it with me now! (James Brown voice).

I feel I was meant to be an MC and everyday here is like writing the dumbest most pointless and enjoyable speech ever.

I read yesterday’s blog post to my bf in fact while he ate the stew that I made because I am stewpendous and every breath I took I’d pause and go, is this good, are you listening? Nods while chewing okay good, moving on.

Whenever I orate my blog to guys I always skip over the guy parts like phewf close one there bruh.

Speaking of stew have you ever tenderized your meat with beer? It works like a charm.

My lunch.

I wandered out on Saturday night for a bit. had to. Saturdays put too much pressure on a “relationship”. We had a fight.

We have unresolved shit because we’ve dated before aaaaaaaaaaaand well, your hero of course was the good guy in this fight. I just do not suffer anything anymore. He has met his match which is the recurring issue.

It was a dumb fight that exploded, I called the bluff and peaced. THEN I chillaxed because what the fuck had to.

I came back, we made up.

I feel like an actor in the play of my own life sometimes.

We have a good time. The good outweighs the bad, of which there is none. People meddle maybe. I’m under the radar on his fb again so it hasn’t really started happening yet haha. Don’t get me wrong there is loads of juicy shit but is this the focal point of my blog now? Do you reveal this garbage? I would kind of just like all of the attention for myself actually.

On to my Raymbo Bright fashions then!

I just went for a tan and wiped off all my makeup put bronzer on then tried to fix but didn’t really don’t make fun of my faaaaaaaace!

These hobo pants all weekend long so loose.

Ya um hi I’m here to try on all these clothes. I dunno guys this is just me in a change room. bf said he noticed me walking around skinny in the supermarket and so I was double checking up on that.

Checked out some Fords.

I was concerned with looking unprofessional showing up in party sunglasses from that volleyball tournament last summer he’s like pfft who cares puts on his hot red HONDA raybans. The car dealer man had interesting bangs I said. Yeah he looked like Pinnochio’s dad. Gepetto? BAhhahahaah. That is basically what our running commentary is like all day long.

And he really did look like Gepetto btw.

lol just the first one I found.

Winter I barf on you!

Hmm Saturday was cursed from the start I’d say. I think we try too hard.

Is there metal in that ring on that plate, did you nuke that plate before? I didn’t really get an answer but there you go. The dishwasher leaked everywhere mysteriously as well and soaked two large towels. The sink was clogged. Holy shit one thing after another all before coffee too!

I secretly had no idea what I was doing but I nailed it! Thank you google!

One healthy shot each and we were on our ass. We don’t drink really so it’s like going in knowing things are gonna go off the chain. Brown liquor scares me because it makes you cray, fight juice. But instead it just made us giggly and stupid. Moonshine was invented because people were bored I guess. Winter is boring! He got this bottle on his work trip. What is this Mad Men? Pfft kind of?

I’m wearing two pairs of pants, two sweaters and I still look kinda lithe. Jus tignore that I said that please I am talking to myself here.

Okay that’s all for now.

Time to wreak havoc elsewhere.

xo rlw esq.