Holy light, oh, burn the night

Hello you people who come here.

Should I have bought that robe thing? It didn’t even have a sash. I feel like Kelly from 90210 would wear this. I can be a Kelly, no? Though I’d probably be the (f__ing bitch) Brenda whom I can easily visualize in this too.

Everyone’s like, get it get it. I want to too I mean, my eye picked it out of all the other crap in the store afterall. But I feel it’s just not practical. It’s arrogant. If I went over to someone’s house and the hostess was wearing this in my head I’d be like fuck you hahaha. It’s a classic look. A hallmark of Madonna in the 90’s. Bedroom. I am a peacock type so it’s not like going out of my comfort zone or anything.

I love it but I think I’ve gotten the intended use out of it already, which was a cute selfie. A picture lasts forever you can just picture me in this robe 24/7 now instead of the weird shit that I actually wear. Moving on…

Sexy song interlude. I have gone through the next season of Banshee’s soundtrack in advance. Oh yeah when I obsess I obsess HARD.

Didn’t get. Still shrinking, will be rendered useless and was also a bit baggy.

Sorry for that faaaaaaaaace. Haven’t washed hair since I dyed it (when did I dye it do you remember?) but yeah it is going to definitly bleed like bananas.

I did get this though. I’m going to wear it on valentine’s day. Which I thought was actually today. I also thought Wednesday was Thursday. I am definitely losing it. Meh.

How do I feel about storming forever 21 being forever 31?

Hmm, I am coming for ya bitches. When teenage chicks repeatedly look me over with approval… I guess it’s like when porn stars brag about shopping at the kid’s sections, I feel like Pamela Anderson said that definitely before.

I mean, forever 21 mocks adult feminine looks as well as tweeny trendy shit. A lot of the dresses at f21 are age appropriate. Spending a hundred bucks on a bag of tricks I’ll eventually give to my niece, what is the big deal?

Fashion rule of life is, if it fits and nothing is seen jiggling – it’s a go. I went out and said to the dressing room girl, okay this is really short can I do this? She said it’s supposed to be that way.

Would a celebrity wear this? Yes. On red carpet with insanely high Jessica Simpson pumps? Yes. Can I eat a steak and down a half bottle of red wine in this? Yep.

I had a cheap little black lace date dress that was legendary once. I sold like 100 of it and individually facebook replied to each lady who inquired where it came from 1. because I know the value of my influence 2. that retail store does not deserve my free press. I could have just said I got it here and saved myself the hassle of personally replying to everyone I told to email me if they wanted to know.

Because of my boxy boyish amazon wtf body type I can grab that ignored dress in the shop and make it work. Some dresses hang terribly on hangers, then no one buys them and they get shipped to Mississauga outlet malls where they go to die. Fact.

This guy (me) comes along and uses it as primo date machine attire on a blog then booya.

I even remember who scooped it up at my 10 year blogiversary party. Holy rambly, sorry sorry.

I am going to wear it with almost black (dark grey basically black) tights altho I kinda want to wear my cute little heart socks BUT it’s fucking winter man who do I think I am. If I am not too full then we will go dancing. wait omfg I just had a brainstorm!

Went for a tan to trick out ma bod.

I should just get a bottle of this again.

Post tan mall glow. A girl spied on me being insane like this. I didn’t look at her but I bet she was making fun of me in her head. I would. But secretly I would be like you are amazing.

Have to exchange for a smaller size. Sorry, I patronage your store enough don’t give me grief.

A troll flipped out on me here once when I said I was returning a shirt (oh please everyone does it and for worser reasons) but mine was a legitimate reason, it ripped on me – super cheaply made and garbage why the hell would I want to replace it? So I exchanged for something else. At the time of this comment, this repeat psycho troll was daily goading me, leaving obsessive comments and I saved them I never blogged them or responded or reacted. It’s just insane how someone can obsess over you like that and look for weaknesses and opportunities to wedge their way in.

To date I get a lot of positive messages. I feel like people are chill and we’re all mellowed out. Not to say I don’t receive insane things, and thirsty guys of course haha. That is part of the game perhaps. I am a flirt. Was recently accused of being one. I never really thought of myself as one. I “have no game” which is so 100% totally my game, or, a game.

I think that anybody I have drawn to me over a matter of years I totally deserve the attention of. As long as it’s positive. I am not talking unwanted attention from people who have been banished. You don’t have to like everybody and they don’t have to like you. They just have to go away.

I will 100% say these pants like tanning salon. I don’t care. It’s a nice smell. I will keep you all abreast of how Jeansgate 2015 goes down.

While these were to look a lot sexier, in my head. I think I just pulled them up too high and also my high heel mary janes should be the guys to slip these socks into.

I am a sucker for containment. I feel like I am going to slip on a banana peel at any moment, I crave safety. Jumpers are safe except for pee time and crouching naked on a toilet shivering in hilarious fear.

Love instagram filters. Am a walking piece of art.

My TBT. I was 21. A bf took this I was his model subject for a photography class. I lived around the corner at the time. He and I weren’t together at this point. We are still friends now. There is mad history yo. Complex! I really liked dressing like this, and still do if I have the figure for it. Slipping on form-fitting elastic-like jeans, jumping on my longboard and just whipping off on an adventure.

And now I’m just a tired old lady in glasses wahhhh.

Had this the other night. Bad girl. No more effing around I have a screen test or to talk about setting one up Feb 23. It’s time to look as Chiseled as Jesus fricking Christ now. If it didn’t leave scar marks I would even let you whip me and reimagine the stations of the cross (don’t say Catholic school wasn’t good for nothing!)

Another me at 21. I remember this day. There are other good pics of me from this sesh in the park doing karate Kid like balance poses on a fence. I lost pictures when indiko bit the dust, where I hosted my pictures since I was 19. Whatever I managed to randomly take over to flickr is what I still have. History dies if you do not back it up eh.

I have 98,493 pictures in my flickr account. Have been a member since 2005. That number seems a little high to me lol.

Back to my body psychosis.

My new boss said I look like Liz Hurley TWICE NOW.

I’m just gonna tie my ego to a hot air balloon and let it sail away now thx k bye whaaaaaaaaaaat!?!?

Yep gonna sculpt my guns after this.

And exchange these jeans. I will cry if the size down doesn’t fit and set myself on fire from embarrassment.

Oh hey cool can I try on these 27’s? Uh no reason…

On way to tan or after can’t remember.

A below picture. After my tan. I didn’t wear makeup really except the mascara seems to be permanently gunked on… I wouldn’t call it wearing. Ahh excuses, lovely. See how dried out my lips are like a peach. Sometimes nude lipstick is hot.

This morning already feels like years ago.

Did I ever tell you the reason why my blog posts are so long? If anyone has read this far and wants to know then I will say so.

Don Draper is back. I know right. It’s kind of surreal.

Dance time excellent.

How cliche is red nailpolish on v day??