There’s a leak at the plumber’s house.

Hi ho hi ho it’s off to blog I go. Like my new dress? Me too. Heartbreaker Fashion sent me two dresses and this week is the perfect week to wear them, it’s going to be even hotter tomorrow. Psyched. BF caught up on a bunch of work so he’s in a cool mood it’s gonna be awesome.

I look tired but I look pretty tired not fuck you’re pretty tired I mean I am pretty as well as tired. We shouldn’t even have gone out but after the week we had we needed some us-time. The 19 yr old step daughter who worked here was generous with the shots and she said she thought I was 24. She could not believe I was 30, it was like I told her I was fifty. Wuhoo. I tell ya being immature or having childlike qualities and charm will keep you young. My mom is my youth role model in that sense.

Gyro pizza. Kinda good kinda wtf, had the rest the next day for lunch. This post is going to be a crazy stupid mess (my photos have uploaded in a scatter) so keep those expectations down kay thanks. This is in Germany on Friday. A man at the bar asked me in German if I control my boyfriend but the waitress had to translate it, he was a lone barfly stirring the pot and I was like why does it look like he needs controlling? Can he sense the crazy? Then the man got all embarrassed when he realized we were going to need a translator and that maybe he should STFU. Like seriously don’t make comments to strangers who are in love with each other and meddle with that shit. I so wanted to know more though. I think his curiosity just got the better of him once we were taking photos is all but really it was supposed to be a compliment to me like please control me instead.

Afterward we walked around the castle it was 10 o’clock and twilight. Twilight means dusk right? No wait that’s when the sun comes up. Ask a vampire jeez. Anyway I wore stupes shoes for cobblestones and my injury but I still climbed up that hill without bailing.

Father’s Day orchids. When mum is like get him a purple orchid that is SO a gift for her I love it and hell fuckin yeah we’ll get you a flower it means we get to go to the flower store. I love any kind of outing cos I get to check up on the local peeps being all normal and Dutch, it’s bizarro land then someone usually interacts with me socially and I just go what? English please and they blush like cray. Then I get all this attention and it’s like sliding down an attention waterfall with stars and rainbows flying out all over the place around me and then BF drags me out of there.

Sis and I went for a bike ride yesterday it was lovely and fun and I bought this bike but have only used it once baha. Bike riding is religion here. People cycle in pairs and hold on to each other’s arms as if they’re strolling through a shopping mall with all the time in the world. I’m still a n00b though and have to be alert cos crap is coming at you from all sides, streets are charming and rounded not grid-like straight and perpendicular like in North America there’s intersecting bike lanes everywhere that turn into traffic lanes then sidewalks you can’t really tool around stoned or drunk until you know what the fuck you’re doing. Or have someone with you doing the thinking for you.

Love this park so much. It’s so hippie and when I look at all the teens and early twenties set I’m like where the hell did my youth go? I missed out. Instead of sitting around in groups on blankets with people my own age I was running around with bossy geezers.

Sis knows the guy who did this. She’s going to do a Minx Graffiti tag in my honour. Psyched.

Course when it’s on the internet it looks all obvious but when you’re in a bar shyly beating your way through “heren” looks just as feminine, which is dutch for male. Heren sounds like a bird and birds are like women. My brain is a theme park with rides a plenty.

This is a steep street, driving down it with bf is a trip. Going through tinier streets where the houses are crammed so close together and it’s a lane road that goes both ways and you don’t know what’s around the bend is nuts.

Even ghosts get scared.

Oh what a week. I have a lot to say but I don’t think I should. Just appreciate your life, the people in it and each moment that you have and be as healthy as you can cos when he’s coming for you he’s coming and that’s that.

I’ve had this kaftan since I was 27.

My presents came in the mail. They’re all in Dutch. That FOOD book is 400 euros in english, in dutch, 60. It has a picture of every single food, vegetable, meat, fish, under the sun it is incredible. When bf was like I got you a present I’m like is it clothes is it a ring it better not actually be a gift for you or a vacuum. Lol.

Smoothie breakfast is my daily job. He’s kinda a control freak but this thing is my department now. I put ginger in the blender once and it was like WWII Jesus Christ what a baby.

Sister is the best. I want to set her up with my brother. Would that be weird if siblings all dated like tic tac toe? What family isn’t weird though? She’s really happy I’m here and gettin’ attached and shit! We had a couple boys fall in love with us at this park then later on the same guys were at the supermarket and it got to the point of unbearable discomfort having to force a smile and hello every time we passed each other then the guy waited for us outside (I think it was probably for me but whatever lol) and it was like alright that’s enough stalker.

Mhmm mhmm. It’s funny to me that this is my local beer but in Parkdale it also was the extra few tallboys you throw on the pile of booze you buy, I’ve always loved Grolsch it’s like the piss water easy going down of beer. I know a lot about beer, I ain’t no brew master or craft beer dickhead dork but beer is beer lets not showboat around about it okay.

Do you like my wheels? My bike came with one of those wheel backpack things that professors would use, everyone has them here. See that thing over the back wheel that’s how you lock your bike so much handier than u-lock bullshit.

Here we go. I’m wearing slob clothes now cos I only want to wear my dresses when we actually go somewhere and I think I will sweat all over it today, but I’ll probably throw it in the back seat cos we’ll probs hit a patio after a walk.

We only had his Iphone with us for photos. Spooky. Anyway I gotta split. You’re welcome for blogging. xo rlw