don’t bug me i bug you

It’s Raymbo’s Crayhouse! Lell-Oh-Lell.

Smooooth la la.

Cinch that baby right up.

I’ve always wanted to play blind man’s buff. I don’t even know how to play and I have my own dirty version in mind or suspicions of how it’s played and how it ends up, I will give you a hint: orgy. LOL. Teacher says all my stories are about sex. What! So not true. Pretty true. And not just because we figured out who the night ghost rapist is heheh. Do you ever wake yourself up to find yourself ahh err like a chihuahua on a stuffed toy? That happens if you go to bed thinking hor-nay thoughts *I HEARD* and also in this totally fictional fable of a story about someone else I heard that the girl’s bf woke up too but didn’t know what had just happened to him and then I heard she just laid there as if it didn’t happen and he fell back asleep and she was like phew. Totally heard about this just the other day gaha man what a loser.

Before that we will play the SECRETS game. Courtney is a big fan of that one HAr har.

I don’t think I will let any boys touch this though, they can use a ratty one or whatever happened to that skanky playboy one we had? haha. I know the strap popped off.

Life is but a dream.

I don’t let his pillows touch mine either, he needs to change them. I know people hate me because they think I am a snotty stuck up bitch or princess, whatever. It’s just a persona guy and two, it’s hilarious and facetious? As if I would be the type of person to demand distance from my pillows but bed time IS a war zone and every man for ‘emself if your pillows take up more space than mine and touch my side so that I am at the edge of the bed with the dog on top of my legs I think I get a beginner’s fighting chance by expressing the rules about bare pillows touching my new silk pillowcases. Someone is eating popcorn out there right now loving this shit up so that is why I bother. The hallmark of my “personal” “lifestyle” “blogging” (ok too many quotations there) “brand” (sorry that one’s a doozy) is long-winded blabbity super crap and always has been. I had an a-ha moment that even my haters, despite hating, they LOVE the cray shit. Which isn’t even cray, it’s just a running dialogue that they highlight, dissect, judge, manipulate, expand upon (falsely), attack, etcetera all as a means to distract my focus. Emailing me when I am spooning on the couch about more hate threads like get a fucking life already I mean it. Picking apart my every tiny thing like I am a bad person which takes up all of the time of a dedicated righter of wrongs kind of person, namely me. When why should I care about a circle of people manipulating the truth of my life to mess with my head so that I am more exhausted by all of this bloggy shit so that I can’t ever move passed it.

If any other cool or successful person that I know of got what I got for their field or life, some of them being masochists would love it I am sure and others would just be confused. I am used to this bad treatment of daily garbage feeding sad to say. I am accused of not knowing how to cook and that’s why we get take out all the time. This is how I know the person is a troll n00b cos if you bother to hit up my archives you’ll note that I used to cook a lot, it’s not a skill one forgets but something one chooses to bother with. I am acting out against my homebody self, grocery shopping is a labour we pass on and eat out (or in) instead so that more time can be spent doing other pursuits. This person sounds young and is glamorizing house-wifing as necessity, stupid kid. An older woman might also make the same accusation but I doubt it, it’s aging-sounding. My mom can cook but doesn’t bother, and so what? Why do you care? Look at this delicious chicken plate this is heaven, plus a movie, oh we’re laughin’.

I felt too self conscious to wear this one to dinner, it would not go with the decor. Too cray-o-lay. It worked at Jamba because (apparently I looked like a blow up doll) it’s all bright colours in there (happy place).

So it was time to retro aspen suit up in to another zany dress. This is the sears catalogue pose fyi.

See how the back of my dress is completely out. See how no one told me. Who is flying this ship again? Two left feet what? I noticed in the bathroom after I had happily skipper-dee sashayed through the restaurant. Thanks a fucking lot baby. One time my mom stuck a wallpaper border sample ON PURPOSE to my back. I went to Beth’s house, she wasn’t ready to come out yet, as I left she said there’s something on my back and I picked it off my face went in to crazy anger red face I stormed home chucked it at my mother and waited until twenty minutes were up to march back to Beth’s door. Tracey stuck the sample to my back again but by that time we were out free to cause terror in the neighbourhood (tons of it, we got grounded multi-times weekly) and so it wasn’t until the next day did I give my mom guff for that stunt. And you guys wonder why I fly off the handle all the time completely. I am constantly under enemy attack ha ha. What’s funnier, enemy attack or fire?

After dinner I tried on my new feathers and played with Stella’s new baby. It has a squeaker in every limb and stomach and head. Stella can’t squeak though. One’s been chewed in to disrepair already. She has two babies now.

You can see how long it took me to change, go out to eat and come back. This blog is about learning!

This is my Friday night while you were probably being way more gangster. I like to visit this spa I know called the couch as oft as poss. Anyone else feel like February has sucked the fucking life out of them? Plus it was one day longer this year, how fantastic. Good riddance!

Dball deadly. I found another picture of our team on Mike‘s flickr but how do I steal it?

There we are! Dodge Save the Queen and my dad’s queen’s hand breaks. What does this mean? (Jack Skellington voice).

Saturday we passed out in the living room like first place champs might. Winning is exhausting. Ask Charlie Sheen.

Sunday found Stella mothering her baby. Who btw has a very cool attitude.

Stella saying of the day: WHO’S A MUMMY LOVER? Answer: Stella is. Don’t worry spring is here soon I will have better shit to write about. Like, drinkin’ in the park, dance running, drinking on patios, twirling my cape in the park, being made fun of by strangers in the park. Booze Lemonade stand? I will go to AA in September. I wonder how many people say that about spring break and then they end up in jail haha. I don’t know what I am saying I have never been to a spring break (have I?) but it would be fun to film a Raymi’s first spring break. American MTV has the most ridic coverage of it and my friend Shannon back in New York worked for them so I heard all kinds of stories and it made me secretly jealous because I was 18 dating a 29 year old and I have missed out on a lot of rights of passage from youth. Obvi this is an excuse to party my brains out like I never partied before.

I want to wake up like this the next morning.

Or that.

Why is that one busted? I think that’s the extra one. Now gracing our mantle. Hope they don’t melt.

Another picture with my eyes closed waiting to go out to dinner. More please!

I have a chip problem. Lower sodium at least makes me feel less guilt over it. Someone’s been bringing home dip lately though. No no! Sabotage much? Right Erica ;).

One for you and one for me instead of having to make it three.

She’s a pig so as much as this appears to be mean, she is spoiled and gets a lot of treats. Handfuls of cat food galore. Stella is also a pig ha ha. She thinks the entire point of taking a leak outside is a handful of cat food afterward. We had a nice walk today and she ate all kinds of stuff off the sidewalks so no handfuls of cat food today guy. Untying her leash from the dog stand at Starbucks in front of people was a joy. Not.

Are you ready for it?