losers lose

I don’t really get the ageist attacks. I’ve never made fun of anyone older or younger than me before like as a thing and people have been telling me since I was 19 to “grow up” or warned me that I should stop this bloggy party lifey thing and all I have to say is, you are stupid and sexist and ageist and should worry about your own age and life because what I am doing is working, it’s not broke so don’t fix it. I don’t see the number of my days on this earth as any sort of measurement for who or what I am, maybe only for when I am Or when I will or should be (a mom?). You’re an obsessive loser, and your world the more it becomes revealed to me about your only joy being me, obsessively, and you’ve offered up other obsessions too, the more I learn about you through the collection of garbage you say the more I feel bad for you. You are a creepy little woman thing. You said I threw the first stone and you were only helping and you say it like anyone even wants anything to do with you. You are playing false bravado smug. You are no one I have ever heard of before and even if you were someone I knew who hated me, I’d take it and we’d keep going it would be a gentleman’s war and both sides would be out in the open, even, not just me and not you cloaked in hiding, in fear, in anonymity shrouded in misery mystery behind a rock yelling insults over it at me AHahaha. You are not a man, you are not a woman, you are a scared entity on the internet and you know jack shit because if you knew how much of a degenerate I really was you’d be talking more shit. Your legacy and footnote in life is It’s too late for you so go down whining about others. And no I did not cast the first stone, you did, in ever contacting me to begin with offering unsolicited (and crude) advice. You showed up on MY doorstep, dumb dumb, that is how it began. I can illustrate it for you by diagram if you like: Life BEFORE YOU and Life AFTER YOU. It’s me sitting in a chair, starting NOTHING. In the BEFORE YOU Life diagram and now, PAY ATTENTION SAM SMITH, FOCUS: in the Life AFTER YOU diagram it’s ME sitting in a chair still and then a teeny little shitstained dot speck of lice shows up (representing YOU) and that’s a diagram representing WHO FUCKING STARTED IT. Got that now?

And now moving along to, “trying to help.” by giving me game tips. How in the fuck do you think you are anything close to an expert on giving game tips advice? You are a spectator in life, you are an inexperienced life liver you are the last fucking person I would ever call upon for advice. It’s cute and flattering that you think I am worthy of a trophy wife future life and that’s my only aspiration meanwhile here I am blogging my guts out for myself for eleven years and all this time I was really playing a secret game of soccer wifing. Maybe you should try to catch up to me though and become marriage material short of that, get a fucking boyfriend once you’re done being an aggro stupid bitch for five seconds and focus less on me. I don’t care if I get married you moron, I change my mind like the breeze and blow with that. You live within the confines of society. I DON’T. We already know how much of an obtuse ignorant blind and toxic insult to retarded people that you are so it’s okay that you overlooked how much of an Übermensch champ that I am and anyone needing the life tips is YOU. Change your game sport cos it’s being played without you. I can beat you at anything Sam Smith. You are asleep at the wheel. And stop saying I am 29 Oooh smooth troll move fuckface. Do you know how much life I can cram in to before 30? So much I will probably be dead by then!

I live harder and more fearlessly than any fucking thing on the planet more than anyone I know. I get attacked by crazies like you, you, are my biggest fear and I keep going despite you. Despite everyone making fun of me I get up there on that stage and I dance and in the middle of being made fun of for every fucking style or routine or dance that I dance I am planning an international artist show collaboration with magic pony for a japanese artist and I will be making the craziest harajuku costumed creation of never done before phenomena and it will happen in less than a month. You make me self doubt myself how dare you and how dare I for falling for it. What art projects will you be working on in the next month sam smith? More stalking? FUN! You should start a news letter. Ps. Kim said this to me SWOON: “Have you decided on a character yet? I can’t wait to see what you come up with. I’ve seen videos of your performances and you’re really hot “ My peers keep me in check.

You discussed coming to one of my shows? WELL COME THEN MOTHERFUCKER. COME! You are the biggest chicken shit ever. I’d type come fight me but that would come across as threatening. But anyway, you’re going to character defame me on the internet for sport? COOL LIFE. Who is the loser now?

You ruined my life for three days. That is unforgivable. The last time I dealt with crazy people in real life was a long time ago. And they had more of a reason for it. I do not forgive nor do I forget.

You are actively involving yourself in a hate campaign in someone else’s life and stepping in where you do not belong, family members aren’t even allowed to do that what makes you think you can???

Have you ever heard of the code in photography, in the wild, DO NOT FUCK WITH NATURE. Even though you want the kangaroo to escape the quicksand so the alligator doesn’t get him, you can’t help or interfere because that’s the ecosystem’s way aka NOT YOUR SHIT AND NONE-A YOUR BEESWAX. This blog is my amazon and if you get an anaconda after you bitch you fucked. Do not interfere with my life anymore, when you grab the bull by the horns you will get _____. This blog is art, it is nature, you are not the artist, the designer, you are the spectator. Go start a tumblr and make your own world and become more famous than me if you’re so fucking coooool and urbane. Until then go fuck yourself.

Not only are the popo on my side, they wanna party with me and the cougs. They got real lives too, and that’s not illegal.

And no I don’t want to be Dooce. I beat her for best diarist 2006 weblog awards AND I WON first place. Ain’t that the tooce. My gf emailed me about her break up so I wrote to her sincerely, I wish her well and I have gone through it before online and you don’t know jack shit about what that feels like and you are actively acting like the parasites famous people loathe so why should you have any self awareness right now, there is no reasoning with you demon letches and this is the last time I will bother. You have exclusively written lies about me, my past and “assumptions” or “opinions” about what I want to be and that is not Dooce. You want to be her. And every single person you slag on the internet. Haters are your biggest secret fans. You lurk the internet at all hours scoping out my blog and haunting my twitter and tumblr. Ew.

Then you try to suggest my boyfriend’s school should see my blog and get him fired? He is allowed to have a social life and I never write anything illegal because he doesn’t do anything illegal and no he doesn’t play hooky, there are exam days off, xmas break, a lot of off time. Every day he was off you can stalk his twitter (or could before forced to go private thanks to you) and see that no time was spent doodling away on twitter but that’s more than we can say for ourselves as YOU are the ones who spend work time lurking here and I have the full document to fuck your lives over too should it come it. I already know your employers too.

Guess what? Guess who became buds with the messageboard people now ahahha that’s right sweetheart, your hero did that too. We were eating pizza at the same time last night huzzah! And we eat take out because we are hedonistic lazy slobs and I can totally cook, I am a genius cook thanks for asking. ps. the messageboard regulars hate you.

Speaking of that my dad just came back with Lick’s. Yumbo in my tumbo.

Eating time begins! Have a nice Sunday dear sirs.