Long and classy sassy. Resolution to have longer nails this year I have great nailbeds I am a stupid idiot from removing one more Raymi prowess power this way. Long hair long claws 2012!

Growing up is for old people but haha what an asshole. Here I am blowing an imaginary snowflake angel kiss okay right? Who do I think I am. Wrong question, who do I don’t think I am?

Oh hi didn’t notice you there.

See the mini dad sweater on the tree? When I am feeling particularly “funny” I am known to say that I bought my dad a sweater but it was too small then gesture at the sweater like Ricky Gervais just showed up. Did you guys see Will Ferrell’s Mark Twain award roast on tv last night? Ricky wasn’t on it but all these other comedians were, well maybe he was on it I am not entirely sure because we were also watching Celine Dion’s megalomaniac biography documentary (more on her later) but anyway I get excitable when I watch comedians because I want to do sketch comedy or stand-up ultimately and these dudes are my idols. It inspires me and motivates me to keep going baby!

Anyhooters.

Hailey is very efficient with her stuff, thank you very much and goodbye now. Teacher picked out that bag.

Ha he saw this and was like I don’t remember that at all.

Yo Nacnud!

Awks portrait.

That means awkward btw. Some people don’t understand how I talk.

Blaha none done right.

I just asked if she reads my blog and Teacher says yes and I go she does? And he says I thought you meant Gwen Stefani ahahahha (we are listening to Hollaback girl) but I meant his ex wife. Yes that is what is going on right meow, still at my dad’s and when Teachers have their two week Christmas break it’s like what happens in Vegas.

Merry Christbreakfastmas from mystery camera.

Haileyness!

So Last Supper and Jesus in the middle me mirror reflection.

Gimme! Feed the monster. We wore our Christmas uniforms like my mom always made us match I have a hilarious family portrait I am going to photograph and blog. All of us in blood valentine red and my mom’s 80’s blown-out flock of seagulls hair LOLLLL.

Mom saw these and said now that is Hailey.

Growing up!

And the family genius wins Balderdash again. It was close, Alison had the lead, which I had for the majority of the game. Do not underestimate the minx I am an incredible bullshit artist and I play people’s knowledge and style against them. My dad and Teacher cancel each other out cos they always pick the other’s bluff as it is similar to their own answer and so narcissism kicks in and they are blinded by that. Then Rinky Ren takes the lead! Cobblestone gristle mawfucka! I’m queen at the two/three word concise definition. My reports were uber short, apt and profound.

All that competition doesn’t come without high-altitude stress, short tempers, yelling, or swearing. I’ve decided to keep a ledger dating each time we play and the appropriate missive to pair along with. I was staring daggers at my brother while inscribing Nov 5’s entry lol.

Hailey is growing up right before our very eyes. I gave her my Santa shirt obvs, she had to pin it at the back or that’s her style but it’s funny that it fits me loosely and her tiny frame too.

Ha.

My hair looks amazing. Hailey is in heaven with her new laptop.

It was nice to see my dad in lala Christmas googoogagaland we are big on it over here. You can stop time with Christmas and nostalgia your brains out meanwhile we are all whipping paper balls at one another like crazy and ploughing through champagne. We opened a small bottle I brought and then I was like should I open the magnum? Which I just should have originally done but my dad was trying to keep it mellow on the level sorry no chance buddy!

Re-did my nails, no not seen here, which is just a hodge podge from Sephora my self-demo, typically I am a clean nail freak snob and obsess. Or in car rather. I gave myself a mud mask in the bath while I did my nails and then laid there with my hands up in the air like lobster pincers.

My double dip (spray tan and super bed tan) is already gone. That whole thing cost $75 bucks (I bought lotion and goggles too) but I wanna go back. I tried hard to get a discount based on previously advertising their shit but the owner was gone I missed her like I miss everyone because I am constantly disgustingly always late. Then I walked home in the rain and then was on a tv show!

I am turning into looking like a grinch.

Christbreakfastmas gettin’ you down?

Someone has followed exactly in some of our foot steps.

It’s too small for him awww. It’s the shoulders not the belly he said ok ok. Maybe Teacher can fit in it.

It was a great party.

I got those shoes for Teach over summer from converse during nxne, nice eh. You have to pre-rsvp for your +1 for events, was with casie and she was aww burn where is my pair for my bf?

Ok I look ugs here but remember I said that thing about how my nana and mom and I’s hands naturally fall in to the bullshit/devil’s horns formation from our curved fingers? See it? So pedantic but I told you so. Ingrained dainty class.

I cleared the hedge ten times and neither my mother or Teacher could adequately capture the timing of it cos I just so fast. It’s good to stay limber. And Jackass. I bet if I practise I could line it up to make it in through the front door! Like a Kyle McAllistar. Don’t think I won’t.

The naybes were nestled all tucked in their beds.

Bye mom! Your face almost matches your coat and I think you look cute here AND dad said you are hot when he saw this so get over it. Noticed you took a lot of my desserts and some of my presents haha.

Cheeky monkey baby aw my niece. So goofy I’m so proud!

My dad opened Teacher’s wallet accidentally.

And there he is opening it. I had said earlier to not be alarmed if someone accidentally opened a gift (cosmically) because we were going to save our shit for actual xmas morning with my dad but then we got greedy show-offy and they were curious and then my dad opened the wallet so the rest of the house of cards fell. He looks like Kevin Spacey right?

Shawn got a nice regift from one of Teacher’s students. 48 booze filled chocolates.

This one fits.

Whatcha got there mum?

Everyone spreads out to tuck in.

A delicious M&M’s lasagna. Las-ag-Nahh.

It did not get complete.

Nana had a shandy (the very drink she let me have when I stayed over the week I was grounded as a teenager for taking off on my parents for a night with two dudes from Switzerland at a resort) and she also looks like an adorable adolescent the way she is seated here, go nana go!

I got a printer too. My dad was like I bet it’s a printer after I opened up my laptop and I go why the fuck would I need a printer for lol then I unwrapped it ha ha, it’s a scanner too! I’ll scan my journals and make some crappy fledgling decent art with it for the superfans.

Alison’s swatch I got. She usually wore this Superman one, I like kid features on grown-ups, it’s zany and endearing, bold.

Had a hippie’d out chat in the Annex thanks to this hat I got from Adventurehouse garage sale. I love it. The merchant was like I’m moving to Quebec to live on my friend’s farm when shit goes down LOL I was like YEAH TOTALLY ME TOO and she goes people are going to have a rude awakening when they realize potatoes don’t grow around here. Then I got paranoid about potatoes oh no what? HA I hate them anyway and never ever eat them.

She sold me this bag at an inflated price like $15 or higher and then I saw loads of them at HMV for $4.99 so enjoy your fucking quebec potatoes and your lava lamps ya hippie yuppie rip off artist! And this DVD better work and be good! I have gotten fucked buying dvds for my dad before, bootleg shit the equivalent of a homemade youtube fanatic homage video, moving picture show.

Though it would be cool to hang out on a couch all the time with your action figures set up everywhere and cater to single middle aged nerd loners all day long. They had gifts stacked everywhere, a bottle of wine, oranges. Neat. The Central is across the street. I’d be opening the patio and cursing these film geeks in a heatwave.

Cool life. My dad is talking to me about them now. The man owner did refer to me as possibly oriental. I went into the wrong store. There are 3 novelty stores on Markham, all with kitschy cult interest peculiarities for purchase.

This is brunch in the market at last temptation, we were falling apart. I woke up with my eyes wild OK LETS GO SHOPPING NOW.

I stared at a cute guy in the corner with a bag of drum singing to himself along with Bob Dylan, he looked sad. I was frightened for how much I had to buy. Bumped into Yuula in front of the fish mongers. She had a nice fur hat on and said lets go for coffee. How very urban a holiday street hug, I wished her Merry Christmas as I am staunch retro and she’s part israeli ie had latkes for breakfast. My tourette’s abade one more false christian tiding but it was lovely to see you Yuula xoxo.

Shower day for sure but I went out like a trucker with an agenda.

Many looks.

Even Bollywood.

And back to cute again phewf. No wait it’s over thank god. Still many more to go a LOT on my phone still. Brunchristmas time! I’m gonna cook! Leftovers thanks Alison! xoxoxo