Ready for more? Come quick, take my hand, there’s lots to see yet. Choose footwear wisely. This is what my hand looked like before I climbed that thing.

Thought it might be softer.

So then I roughened it up even some more. It wasn’t exactly the pottery barn hahaa. Burly. bush league. Man up and all that.

Descending on to camp. There’d be a full blown mutiny by the time I was done.

Kept my eye on the villagers and then poof I was gone again.

And then I bumped into these clowns who roped me right on in to their culty schemes of climbing stuff for the mere thrill of it. Walked right in to their trap.

That’d be them.

Remember how I had 5 hours sleep. Luckily they didn’t breathalyze me. Jenn said they do for the edge walk. well there goes THAT idea. ahaha. NO wasn’t drinking this morning I just know it stays in your system cos some people can blow over morning after on their way to work from the night before even though they had a night’s rest and aren’t tanked.

This was like an if I was gonna die contract I better take full responsibility I guess, I dunno, I didn’t read any of it (who does?) It was a boring agreement form alright already lets get this show on the road!

I was stumped. Filling it out with 4 people watching and my nerves, hard task!

Removed bra so those suckers could be free.

I pretty much wore the perfect outfit for this. Guess which guy I had the crush on and who flirted with me? Claire did too, maybe she was hitting on me? Colleague was like relax we are here for work and then I LOST IT on him ahahaa. In the beginning I snapped at him ok final warning you better be fun this had to be fun you wake me up at the crack of f-k and *^&$&%E*&8y ahaha then look at me, climbing a survivor boot camp apparatus. I amaze me.

Suiting up.

On my way out we discussed her name, which is Claire and how I had chosen it as my confirmation name which doesn’t really mean anything other than it was the only name I could think of at the time. When I said my whole name once to some guy, oh right, one of my ex boyfriends (there’s tons) Lauren Krista Claire White he was like, woah, so enchanted by it, it was like a folk girl singer’s name. That is one of many stupid things he said to get me to fall in love (and move to New York) with him.

That is a long way up and a long way to fall. But more so a lot of pulling and balancing. You will be sweating profusely in seconds. I’d like to do more of this in the summer next time wearing a bikini. Like how I climbed the mountain in Red Rock .

You have three choices of walls to pick from. I am weighing my options here. I didn’t want to start it off all difficult with this one, too much swinging and I’d probably give up a lot sooner. I thought I might have been able to climb all Pirates of the Caribbean from wall to wall but no, glad I asked by yelling down before doing it first without asking. I am a hand’s on learner, no point in reading that Directions agreement I signed. Like when a plane is in the process of going down THAT is when I am going to ask you what the hell it is we are going to do. It’s out of your hands at that point except when climbing, totally in them. hA omg moving on.

At this point it hadn’t actually sunk in what I was about to do, I thought we were all just laughing about like when you find out a relative might die, has died, you don’t believe it because of course they’re all joking about something so severe. or to be less extreme, that shirt was bought up by someone else cos you didn’t want to carry it around the miami strip at night and now you regret it. Ok not the same things.

All the dopey girls I know (and love) are flipping out about my jeans. I am queen at finding cheap wicked jeans. Bluenotes baby.

Little did I know I was being initiated into the weird wild world of brickworks.

They asked if there was anything else? Yes, glass of water? I was parched.

OOOOoook this one.

Another thing I spaced on was that this would actually be work. Climbing. You don’t float up idiot! Ughhh. My colleague talks me in to all these things well, I kind of make him dare me to.

Gettin’ a bit tangly.

I was thinking, oh boy, this is going to be embarrassing, I over-estimated myself. I can do it but not today, too knackered.

But, thanks to the tick in my head that tells me to do it or else (insanity? competitiveness? I dunno) I kept climbing.

When you lean out like that your arms get tired but i couldn’t figure out a way to stretch my body out that also wouldn’t make me buckle out. Stay in a crouchy position and one hand at a time it.

I could see over the tin roof of the works and felt that that was pretty high, my god, this was enough ok time to come down now. They ignored me.

Oh jeez still so much more to go I look like a bleedin’ little ant. I was picturing my stupid brother and Linda and teacher all cashed out ’round the house hung over NOT CLIMBING UP A THING LIKE THIS and getting pissed off all over the place then laughing. I think you might go a bit mad on that.

I hated this part. Because it wasn’t already shaking enough, it shakes a hell of a lot more but the magic of zen balance was with me thanks to dance lessons, you just wait the wobbles out and when ready start climbing up the tire.

Pretty exotic, no?

The thing I am standing on is attached to the ladders/ropes and not as solidly steady as appears. I am bragging here. It was difficult.

I know right who am I Kevin Kostner in Water world? I wish. He does swan dives into the ocean and swims down to the very bottom to look at treasure and swims super fast away from bad guys. When I talk like this to boys, any male, their face goes like this o_o cos they cannot believe the stupid guy sh-t I know haha.

Omg alright already is she up yet?

I’m glad I chose the side I chose.

I seriously considered quitting at this point. I look very bad ass. I conjured up all my magic Raymbo powers and attacked that ladder like a woman scorned and succeeded. Lots more people were gathering. This was like when the bad guy climbs up the ladder of your fleeing helicopter, all tiny and dangly thing that it is. I bet I would have survived ‘Nam. Hahah hey Dad lets watch Full Metal Jacket soon…

Arms sore.

Almost.

Done.

Oh my. Long way up and down. I did it! Spectac view.

You’re all attached at the top of the rope thing here so you can’t wander around your floating raft in the sky very much plus you’re shaking from exhaustion and the climb. Maybe if I had more sleep or was in better shape I wouldn’t have been all rattly. They pulled me down thankfully NO WAY I was climbing down, not possible. Not that day anyway.

Oh my god I look like an idiot.

They say in that dove ad that 50% of girls don’t participate in things cos of body image issues F THAT look how wide my butt looks when my waist is all cinched and strapped in. I have totally stopped myself from participating in things in the past cos I felt fat somedays. So dumb. How do you expect to get thin then?

So happy to be back down there.

Everyone loved my docs. Thanks Style Exchange!

Close up poetic moment with the athlete. She is thinking about what she has done, says the whispering Wimbledon announcer.

Good luck undoing that.

Then we went cave exploring.

Nah, just other exploring not necessitating helmets though some might say that I should be with helmet at all times but then I folded them into a pretzel and threw it into the sky so I’d watch your mouth.

Look pretty fab for a mighty post feat. Fierce fearless female.

Oh great, my Vampire fangs have been exposed.

Grilled cheese time. I earned and would destroy it.

It was delicious. Caramelized onions were in it and the cheese was, I’m sure colleague got a photo of the sign. But maybe not cos I had just starvation snapped at him and he was ignoring me again. They also had scrambled egg wraps. Lovely.

The information was in front of me but the words weren’t taking hold, I think that is what people with extreme ADD (certainly my mom) experience. Once I got the sandwich in my mouth I was a scholar again. More evidence that I have slightly more testosterone than the average gal, functioning breaks down along with nutrition. Guys are complete irate crabby psychos when hungry.

Hehehh.

Bittersweet as I was still parched from even before climbing the thing, my coffee made it worse. I was as dry as a desert, getting sweatier, starved, amongst a sea of children running into my knees and shoppers dressed to the nines. Cue tantrum.

Relief.

Duh who would step on that, get dirt all over my $500 Alligator shoes?

More neatness.

And you guys just barely made the cut. Adorable.

Who decorated someone from Ocad? Zing!

Still in the climbing mode.

Woah so are they.

Cool place right?

In 1892 I don’t think they were having organic lemonade lunch breaks or encouraged to graffiti their names on walls or other dumb things I got up to. History is cool.

Oh hi there Tawfik! This is turning into the who’s who of foodie yeah?

Gnarly hair day but I am most certainly the little twink tastemaker right on and confusingly in there with these lot.

Trade secret up and over the mountain with your double chins before a photo is snapped. Gosh I’m awful generous. It’s only because I am usually the best looking one and get screwed over all the time if one person looks bad so I gotta cover my livelihood here ya know. (this is part of my stand-up material and way less stingy when said in person).

I say it deadpan and loud enough for all the surrounding women to hear, they gather and boom that’s raymitheminx tv.

Tawfik is a quick study, raise that chin to the heavens.

Throw in the teeth.

This fox is Arlene, she’s like the Amber Mac (in the capacity that everyone is all gaga about her) of all these foodie people, bigger even. She is my new buddy, Brickworks is her Domain and she taught me all about it, what was left of my brains to absorb if at all. When Rob met her last year the first thing out of his mouth was a come on. Hilarious. That’s the Parkdale Boys Club for ya, we don’t let ya down. (Rob by the way is now more so internationally famous, his eyeborg eye made the bbc news).

Super modest too, didn’t want her photo taken. I’m like why you look so glamorous and fresh and I literally fell off a jungle gym and had 3 minutes sleep last night. We talked about the marsh landy water thing there and planting native plants (what no palm trees? lol) and she pointed up a hill and said when the leaves are gone you can see a Rosedale home. DOPE guy! It’s such a lovely little sanctuary, def have a weekend visit before it starts snowing and get there early to get a parking spot. Take the Grandfolks to score extra points you only gotta walk around in a circle, your Nan will love all the doo-dads and the posh people watching (Mom, Nana would be Queening hardcore) and then you go home with the shopping that you bought from all those yuppie hippies and eccentrics and have your wine and make a fancy feast. There, I just designed your thanksgiving weekend you’re bloody welcome!

Liked that dog’s built-in sunglasses.

The picnic flyer. If it wasn’t a to do I’d wear my bear suit, teddy bear picnic!

ONE OF THESE THINGS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHER AND ONE OF THESE THINGS IS RAYMI!

The grilled cheese gave me my super powers back so I gave a mini tour of this junky antique showcase. BACK IN 1892 THEY MADE MINIATURE BRICKS LIKE THIS WHICH WAS PROBLEMATIC FOR PRODUCTIVITY AND ‘TWAS NOT UNTIL ADVANCEMENTS IN TECHNOLOGY THAT THEY COULD THEN MANUFACTURE LARGER BRICKS TO SPEED UP THE PACE OF BUILDING STUFF. Colleague was tuning me out at this point. You know what, how do I become a writer for Saturday Night Live? They rip off material enough as is they may as well pay me for it.

Adorable. I have a miniature collection and fetish. Thanks mom.

Bought a sweet and smokey. She didn’t have change. That became an ordeal. I asked her to borrow money off another hippie.

HI!

That chick was fiddling, I danced but I didn’t want to pay her for her dance music so I didn’t make eye contact we kept going hahaa.

Humongous beans. Some place like Cowbell would give you a huge piece of meat and three of these smugly criss-crossed a-top and call it a day. Oh god My one chef and Raymi show idea is so solid I hope it gets picked up some day.

OK DONE! LOVE YOU! CALL ME!

About Evergreen Brick Works

Evergreen Brick Works is a community environmental centre that inspires and equips visitors to live, work and play more sustainably. Evergreen, a national charity, has transformed the former Don Valley Brick Works from a collection of deteriorating heritage buildings into an international showcase for urban sustainability and green design that is open year-round.

What is Evergreen?

Evergreen is a national charity that makes cities more livable. By deepening the connection between people and nature, and empowering Canadians to take a hands-on approach to their urban environments, Evergreen is improving the health of our cities—now and for the future.

Our two flagship programs—Learning Grounds and Common Grounds—have helped more than half a million Canadians transform their local landscapes from barren asphalt into dynamic, thriving green spaces.

Evergreen Brick Works, our most innovative project to date, is both a stage and incubator for Evergreen’s programs.

Learn more about Evergreen’s work across Canada at evergreen.ca.