ain’t no love in the heart of the city

i am listening to the lincoln lawyer soundtrack (referring to title). downloaded it instantly. watched it on the plane (and 3/4 of the fighter, don’t tell me how it ends.) and thoroughly enjoyed it now my dad can stop asking if i’ve seen it.

great afternoon spent by the pool with sarah & where she fell in love with me. she has since said she didn’t really like me all that much at this point, it didn’t blossom until she got more trashed at the reception.

we made friends with others too. these chicks were hysterical. blonde to my right is the band wife of the bravery guy (their song is on the twilight soundtrack. HUGE.) and spread eagle ginger was talking about eating carrot cake and i said hold up a sec, kay, so you have red hair, an orange bikini and you’re telling me a story about eating CARROT CAKE? ridiculous. i think we were all wasted, i couldn’t tell anymore the difference between sober, jetlag, sunstroke, sleep deprivation and semi-consciousness. ps. her open leg stance is a post-feminism commentary on drunk bachelor party men coming over with bullshit pick-up lines, “hey i was looking for the deep end.” ginger and i said in unison THAT IS THE WORST PICK-UP LINE EVER. this was the weekend of busting balls.

hey is this a fat mirror? nope just fat today.

was robbed of this pool the last two days of my trip. wahh.

i thought about implants a lot. donna said if i got them then all the stupid cutesy poses i do would just be totally whorish and i couldn’t do that anymore. good point but then, do i really even have to do them at all anymore? i could potentially evolve, no?

hells bells raymeroo don’t ever get boob implants! a cups are so CUTE and perfect and look great naked! all the cutest girls at Burning Man had a cups, don’t change a thing. you are unique (and adorable)! -liz

but then i can skyrocket to infamy fast like heidi montag and make a lot more money then retire in portland. business investment. plus they’ll take the heat off my nose.

look there he is. mega-babe. they were performing that night at the same place weezer was the following evening, a racetrack? lisa did you go to that show?

oh right these are sarah’s pictures, she had a lesbo crush on this dj. i went up to her and was like, your music is awesome. yeah cool smooth. she was playing a lot of significant shit to me, like this one jam i was into last summer except last summer i was borderline suicidal (very depressed) BUT when you hear the soundtrack to your blues while staring at pleasure crafts at an event you so belong at in a cute black cocktail dress it’s a nice triumphant thump in your chest for overcoming your demons, or basically, life is better now. music can take you places man.

our favourite bodega had all kinds of weird shit in it and a rotating cast of crazy clerks.

i’ve just decided that this post will be a classic clusterf– of photos not that i am capable of anything but at the moment. jetlag. man i’ve done a lot of jet-setting this summer. i’ve been on SIX airplanes in just over a month’s time. it becomes addicting but anyway, that’s something hello kitty would eat up there yes?

on way to airport. super early in the morning. can’t wait to change nail polish colours. brought several with me, didn’t change as i didn’t want to buy more remover. also i don’t think my teeth were adequately brushed once (ew hah) cos i brought a tube that was so empty and flat it made me look like a total cheapskate. but i whitened so my teeth weren’t that bad.

what would you call this shade? i was going with dijon. it is so sexy. the ford gt mustang. at the picnic during my one second of turn to talk when someone important came by i went MY DAD HAS A FORD MUSTANG. then a tumbleweed rolled by, i squeezed sarah’s thigh and we convulsed into laughter then she made fun of me for the rest of the day by cutting me off and saying MY DAD HAS A MUSTANG CONVERTIBLE hahahaha oh my god wait til i get to the part about what we discussed on our nobu final dinner date.

it is my goal to be a model before my face rots off so that i don’t have to talk anymore.

war of the roses. there’s always a bouquet here which means there’s always piles of cat barf too. i used to think cats were smarter than dogs, but, sometimes things happen that make me think twice.

this is me learning. i asked teacher if i looked too much like gallagher (to quote, “the guy who smashes the watermelons.”)(ps. that is NOT comedy) to go out last night, my hair was sticking out more wildly, i SO looked like him. i am funny.

does he even know i exist at all?

team ford blogher canada babes. every time 100% when i met someone and they asked where i was from and i’d say canada they’d proclaim THERE’S A LOT OF CANADIANS HERE! in this funny awed way like they were shocked that our peoples are capable of mass-reproduction and, travel. this happened so many times and all i gave was a deadpan, “yeah.” as i had to reserve as much brain energy as i could for the rest of our conversation which was about me and selling me to them. the majority of blogher babes are mommy blogher babes so i was in the minority, which i am already used to being in cos, well look at me (yes look at me overcoming obstacles like free time and rock&roll lol) i’ve always been the black sheep. so anyway where was i, oh yes, at the nimble stand i said if you want to reach another audience, like me and mine, which is an urban party it girl lifestyle foodelitist, but i balance that with health. i am a spokesmodel for a personal training facility and my demographic is in to keeping fit and looking fit yes, and what’s this you have here, a nimble protein bar for women? lets connect the dots.

he called us all madam, was super helpful, type a perfectionist. quiet. brilliant. look at the guy’s eyes beside me.

while watching the lincoln lawyer on the plane i also kept tabs on the woman beside me watching the justin bieber movie about his hard knock stratford ontario life. kind of want to watch it. while she was watching never let me go i discussed organ donation with her (plot relevant) and cloning. i’ve read the book, adore it, and the movie is great too. i refrained from asking her if the bieber movie was worth it or telling her i was wearing his BABY nail polish at the time haha lest she think i was actually a fan, i also used up too many of my talking turns. just kidding she dug me. unlike the asshole who snapped at me for talking to rose for 3 seconds and obscuring his tv screen. i’ll tell you this story later though. his wife was a pill too. rose said they fought a lot.

party wear. haha i just got up to practise some burlesque and i just learned a new goth move called SMELL THE ROSE AND THROW IT AWAY. it’s good that you’ve been reading and decoding my gibberish for ten years now so you understand me when i say sentences like the former.

ps THIS FRIDAY AUGUST 12 IS MY BURLESQUE PERFORMANCE AT TATTOO ROCK PARLOUR. FREE IF YOU EMAIL AND RSVP. info@pinkmafia.ca

late breakfast i had delivered from ground control (major tom) (seriously it says these cute things on your phone) cos i couldn’t stomach eating that early in the morning. 1. i shouldn’t even have been awake. i slept like a party statue 2. had to get up to get my conference badge 3. i don’t eat breakfast. i am nocturnal and am perma-west coast time consummation-wise. i have to put back a pot of coffee first woah how trailer trash do i sound. sorry, i prefer, poet. speaking of TT i’m going to do a big brother post, we love shelly and how she’s always clearly loaded, sketchy and double dealing.

fit my hair in just before i left and look at my pile of nella bags over there. serious purse collector. i’ve got some major wicked events coming up will use the pink clutch for.

sarah and i make a good duo i’m already copying all of her personality that i can hahaha no kidding. she just helped me come out of my shell a little more. i would never tell her that to her face though. she reminded me of leslie so it was extra enjoyable. i need to get those two in the same room.

at nobu. de niro is part owner/founder. i asked if he was around and they said no he’s in nyc and we’re like how did you know? they get an itinerary to prep for a drop-in. i WOULD DIIIIIIIIE!!!!!!!! also i kept forgetting there was a bitch back to my chair and kept sitting super upright, rigid, like a playskool doll. good for the posture.

a drunk chick who came out of the elevator asked sarah if she was european and her drunkard bf goes NO she’s a tourist. it got me steamed but it was her fault cos she was wearing a stupid hat at the time. see my sake bamboo? we made happy hour thankfully that place is $$.

well well well worth it though. it’s japanese peruvian fusion. this is tuna and salmon. i dug the tuna and she liked the salmon.

salt and pepper squid salad. my favourite. considered ordering one more but didn’t. mistook the pepper for a piece of lettuce at one point, went with it. we know i love hot food and this was the hottest dish. i am drooling right now. raymi’s fun foodie fact: every time i think of squid i think of nigella moaning. watched an episode of her cooking it once and as she ate it she did her signature eating moans of pleasure. ok now i am grossing myself out. full spectrum people. this post is almost over don’t worry.

crispy rice cubes.

medicine.

tuna. with jalapenos.

trophy wife practise.

lil bit heavy but i’ll get used to them. bollywood starlets get ear injections to withstand the weight of their huge earrings. good idea.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

wrapping it up this was long winded enough. more trip coverage later.

xo your pal raymi