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hot sweaty summertime mess.

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i am comatose.

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i remembered my jean rip.

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adolescent angst. ooh scary! hehe i love her.

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ugh i hate my life dear twitter ahaha.

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hot. a ten. someone said so.

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we had a great handler.

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hi lil sis!

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i liked this place. forget the name, or where it was. girls don’t have to think! update: f-stop. good joint. bring your a-game set.

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hair is caught in my brains.

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we got right on down. dance attack city.

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ooh her shoes. good call bethanie.

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i like how my hair looks like a bouffant here. jen and i were black and white spy vs spy, respectively.

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trouble versions 1 and 2 point oh.

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i can’t remember what the rest of his shirt said. UPDATE: (from the mouth of mike) when i die just keep playing the records -hendrix. seems pretty apt though. dude’s a straight baller though. good times. update redux: aaand now i just realied the first picture spells it all out. i am a few cards short a deck today.

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gahahah oh nothing bad could come of this.

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someone’s pointing at us.

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i think i kept trying to leave? we had chinese food after this. jenny’s sister and i pigged out. we got to skip ahead of the wait line and everyone LOVED THAT!

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ahhahaha well at least i am skinny.

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we have our own little lilo before she went cuckoo bananas.

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a dedication to elegance.

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bottle of water time, that’s a great sign.

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check giant earrings over there, hi my entire outfit is on my head, what’s up? no i liked them but it was so dark in there it was mysterious. i complimented her as i moved in on her dance turf. meanwhile who am i now suzanne summers pebbles? cool.

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can you still not figure out his shirt? i know me either.

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if i don’t get my fluorescent nailpolish back soon i will barf.

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another crappy makeup face night for me. whatever like i said i can’t top her.

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i’m still cute too though.

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lethal.

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and a good time was had by all good night.

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hot kid. jenny’s pissed about who got the jugs in the fam and who didn’t.

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ahhah cutest circus misfits. poor handler man. poor his fucking ass right? dudes wanted to claw his eyes out. no kidding. or am i? i dunno i am losing a lot of blood right meow, the tide is in.

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capped off sunday right. i like my new scuba watch.

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i’m be a veronica in betty’s clothing.

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do these people look unhappy to you? why would you fuck with that? this is on the way up, we were pumped.

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consolation prizes. heehee.

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except i don’t really know how to tell time anymore nor really ever require needing to know it. who said it was 16 o’clock the other day? rhonda? yeah it was. that shut us down for like 5 minutes trying to figure out hahaha.

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my gino rasta shades. lots is going on.

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i like it in the backseat. we switched on the way back from the pub. teacher also liked the backseat better. the front is “cooler” but in the back you can just totally be retarded and you feel like you’re being dragged around super fast, especially if you’re a bit buzzed. wheeeeeeeee!

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maybe we should go back and stay for two nights. my dad’s a/c is way better than ours here. i did that last summer a lot, mooched up air conditioning.

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we had jack and cokes and tv. good way to ease out of the weekend. i am looking forward to watching two episodes of big brother when teacher gets back from an errand.

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hope i don’t jinx someone into actually drowning.

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haven’t been spending enough time up there. the hibiscus have pretty much hi-bit the dust. when we go to t-bay i bet they’ll burst into flames. i’m going to water them now and then attempt to unpack. don’t start!

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we beat it out of the city saturday afternoon. headed north. northern escape.

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i looked across the living room at teacher and was like, why are we still here? oh right, my internet addiction, ha.

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we arrived. gorge little backyard. i found a jar of del monte grapefruit slices at foodland. perfect for greyhounds. must get more, i love new products especially ones that coincide with my vices.

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i had no eyebrows this weekend.

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stella had the best time. i doubt the cats did.

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doused myself in bug spray, took a few years off my life, thanks deet. here for a good time not a long time right sirs? watching weird critters land and die on you gets exciting, albeit gross.

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sun baby and it seems like i barely got any sun or a layer from my retinas has been scorched off and i can’t see how dark i truly am.

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just absolutely soaked in sweat. you quickly get to a point of not caring if you’re smart enough to bring a bathing suit with you everywhere you go. everyone else was suffering stupidly.

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stella and i were laughing.

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don’t you want to put your face in it.

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what’s the best pool to pool hop by in the city the one with that big butterfly mural, where is it? no i will not figure this out on my own i have to catch up on big brother after this.

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until the ipod dock was unearthed the music situation was touch and go, archaic. random static bursts and pops, then a shitty song from the one station we could pick up, more static. i kind of liked the tinny old timey sound of the radio, people sound so much more polite ahhaa.

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meowmeowmeoewemeowemewow

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now, where were we, oh yes, this cat. absolutely divine.

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the heat is killing me right now i am fighting the temptation for beer so strongly. i have very bad cramps too. the combo is making me weak. glad these came through post work out. which i killed today cos i was so pissed off. pissed off work outs are great.

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why can’t my eyes be that blue?

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the fire was cool. cool as in blazing hot. out of nowhere the entire back portion of the property lights up and during dry season too. exciting!

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just let it burn out too.

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pretty purple flowers. omg i am eating hot hashbrowns teacher made me and now i am tripping balls, so much habanero and trinidad cuckoosauce. see what putting out gets you? i must remember this haha. he goes yeah, you should.

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now we are sharing a kronenbourg and i am becoming human again. how’s your lunch today?

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the altar it grew.

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after like 3 seconds sleep we were up again for some good old fashioned passive aggressive breakfast. don’t enforce eating on partiers, not everyone eats breakfast so stop using breakfast and cleaning up as a weapon. i helped a lot the day prior so my work was done, you’re the ones with hangovers and those are all YOUR empties anyway, i tidied after myself so i am givin’er right up to leaving. i always get targeted at people’s cottages by women. it’s tiresome, predictable and exhaustive. like i’m sorry i’m sitting around in a bikini but i’m the one who slept on the fucking floor listening to EVERYTHING going on in the house all night long.

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my flip flops matched the patio furniture at least.

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wasaga was wicked. if we didn’t have the dog we’d have sat on a patio. we did a cruise by car, then a nice walk with a jack and diet coke roady. teacher bought me a cute watch and shades (to apologize for his horrible friends).

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i want to go back really bad. or to any beach really, until the summer is over. i am done with the real world and clothes. and pants.

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my dad asked me how i get all my music hook-ups or why. i said it’s cos i keep the rock dream alive, i live the rock dream. much like the owner of this gold camaro. or the monster truck beside it. your nerdy music 101 and start-up indie blog is great and all, but does it look like this 24/7? they know raymi loves TO rock and have a good time. addicted to good times not itemizing set lists and mic volume snafus. recognize.

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mystery camera gems. dance practise.

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look at that smokin’ bod. jeezus.

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i think i’ll do a sinead o’connor solo next.

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this is for dinner again.

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addicted to sweating disgustingly out of everywhere. maybe i happened on to the best weight loss diet regime. bikinis, hot climate, hot food. the occasional big mac.

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post burlesque performance monday night. trying to fix my ratty hair.

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then teacher remembered he bought me a present.

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greedy looks like this. get over my tits. nudity in general. i am not planning to make excuses for the next decade about that and have decided to take more of a pragmatic approach to the conservative oppression still afoot in mine fair city.

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what a guy right. thanks babe.

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and then like that my hair is flawless and rhonda is here!

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cool photo order. there is only so much flickr can do when i blob my photos all over the desktop and hit upload.

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i looked in the mirror when we were in the car and noticed that i am freckle face city now. wtf! teacher said it’s cute. i’m not lindsay lohan so no, it isn’t.

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those shorts are huge on me now. all of mine are. in between sizes again and everything looks warped.

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day two i changed suits. my red/white one has been worn too much but also, i wanted protection and monster bikini lets people know to think twice before fucking with me. at wasaga on the strip it was quite the hit.

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camouflage monster.

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jenny beth said the bigger the bottoms the less hot you look. not much i can do here. she said the smaller, the smaller. hmm i guess i have to buy another bikini then haha. a guy not only singled us out to have his parking spot when he left, he gave me the parking day pass good for 24 hours. i bet that midlifer fantasized all the way down airport road on his way home picturing a blonde loaded with dimples and teeth frolicking in the surf without a care in the world, living the beach blanket bimbo dream. fuck i’d give away 40 parking spots for wank bank material like that any day.

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weren’t ready to hit the city yet so dropped in on my dad with a six pack (angels) and we went for a convertible cruise to the beaver and bulldog to sit by the water and have wings. we watched a hard day’s night and my hair punched its time clock. we slept over and teacher drove me to TMR this morning.

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on way to barrie.

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ok i’ll brb this post sucked. no more bring downs!

raymaerobics from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

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les filles.

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muscle shirt darius. how many do you have for the summer?

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this one’s actually kind of beautiful.

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the gypsies are here to dance for your carnivale.

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startling.

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another vortex kind of night. i wish i could crawl back to that time, i was transplanting miami vibes.

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i want to make a miami vices double entendre but i’m not a cheeky piss-ant. well, i kind of am.

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that’s luc’s cousin. it was lucas’ birthday. i got him two horrible miami tourist shirts.

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the reg cast of characters always in attendance. i think the parkdale boys club are in a the outsiders war with adventurehouse which is awkward for me as i am the president of the PBC and some weird stepwife/sister of advhaus. no, advhaus is more of a triad but anyway i am displaced from it now. i am giving up the tickle trunk.

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um when did i turn into a game show host? vanna white, lauren white. same thing.

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tanya i will be looking like you soon enough. my abs are starting to look alien.

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i have a long way to go. but i’m doing lots of tricep work now. i’ll make a video of the backwards table. or maybe i’ll show you three work outs in a one minute instructional video? cool. i want my nailpolish back now paddy!

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tanya is wicked. she’s a total beach girl like me. plus we look good beside each other.

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time for that blond beach bikini babe shoot. a calendar?

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burlesque practise day with paddy jane. this is my armani suit. could not pass it up.

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my phone wallpaper.

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fun afternoon. we were both pretty hung. isn’t that how she goes? tell me some arbitrary random future date event, i assure you something sloppy will just coincidentally come up the eve of it.

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we were a tickle trunk. i am a tickle trunk.

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i like to faux gallop with my robe or pretend to be a monk or i am delivering a message of the utmost importance please give way. omg i want to get in a larp showdown.

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paddy get comfortable in teenier clothes. we were a bit of a scene walking for coffee through libville.

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my cloak of hangover shields me from onlookers. i wore this in oldnavy in burlington and pretended i was a zippy employee spirit squad i dunno to assimilate with their pop rainbow mannequins, like i was supposed to be there. i realize some people are not geared for the raymi. preparation is key.

send more jewels. pretty much if i see something now that sparkles, i buy it. my anklet broke as we came out of the brazenhead yesterday and i was cross at the moment so i detangled it from my wedge and dramatically, angrily whipped it into a sewer grate and said nothing. ten minutes later long forgotten off on another topic closer to home i said, did you like when i threw my anklet into that grate? yeah he laughs at me. i go, did it make it all the way down? (square inch squared holed sewer, carnival skills required-type) no ha ha.

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this’ll be my walking around outfit. ahh i remember now i hung out with jenny again this night and that’s why my hair was all greasy, from dancing all day and not bothering to wash it. i need to get that platinum powder stuff from sephora. my mom and i went to the burlington mall location and they didn’t know what the hell we were talking about. i imagine that location wouldn’t stock this product? dumb cos there’s lots of blondes in burlington, it’s pretty aryan.

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recess!

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poor stella, has to be involved but so stressed out!

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i want to be in a tim burton film.

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you can wear pants still if they’re like this right? that makes them cooler?

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my underwear matches my nails.

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amazing. can’t remember if i posted these? i think i did. ok here’s more up to date stuff from my blackberry. i’ll be doing the rest of the j.beth jam when we get back from the sticks. we’re going up north. pumped.

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YOU’RE ON THE HIGHWAY TO HELL! no really, we were! it was hell!

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we put our heads together, ok, how do we get out of this? ok you have never done this before? now is not the time for a cigarette there’s shit leaking everywhere. meanwhile people were just parked. staring. like a long ass northern drive (i am going to jinx myself here now) wait on the road. it was like falling down level scary. michael douglas was SMOKIN’ in that flick.

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nothing but red lit-up cherries. we shouldered it, linda was shaking, people were purposely putting their back-ends in our way thinking we were just trying to bump ahead like how boston drivers do, they’re lunatics, but no asshole trying to kill us, our hazards are on and i had my arm out of the window like a jurassic jungle voyage. then the engine would overheat again. we did this 4 times, five minute intervals, one bitch in particular was like, i can’t let you in there isn’t anywhere to go (totally room to move actually!) i hissed OUR ENGINE IS SMOKING BLACK SMOKE MOVE!!! meanwhile a limo taxi is ignoring us FUCKING PEOPLE YOU ARE TERRIBLE HUMANS. so we weaved over to another shoulder. the grid lock was due to a collision as well as construction, bla bla brutal. ok i am bored of this now.

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took them to milestones to get wrecked. that morning my brother’s truck overheated too. our canadian vehicles aren’t used to the heat and react accordingly. suffice it to say they were hell bent on enjoying themselves despite the hiccups. me? i don’t fight with the universe and if the universe is saying you might blow up in a car maybe i should get the heck out of there. sorry it’s coming back to me now. my brother is a fire safety tech so he cautioned that the engine could erupt if it was smoking and we were pouring coolant in the thing i don’t know anything about cars.

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my hair appointments take at minimum, 3 hours. my roots have to process for a long time. they gave me a treatment, two maybe. this one thing fills all the cracks in the road of your hair follicle and seals it. my hair is always like feathers afterward. brennen is a hot hair god.

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how do i get a free blackberry?

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ok i am buying new sunglasses today.

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holy shit relax kid.

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gah even worse so intense. i am trying to time it so it clicks just before i open my eyes, the sun was scorching my retinas.

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i am tanned from this sit.

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turkey wrap with side of jerk. they mix their jerk with honey. easily duplicatable. i am over their wings and since unhealthily switching to deep fried battered from grilled, there is no point. we make way better bbq jerk chicken here.

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the moon was big last night.

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we had a rhonda party!

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such a great gal. moved off to ireland she did. lives in a book life. fascinating.

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she was my first/fav customer at the central. tell you the story another time.

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yum starving! then i threw onions on this and we broiled them all in the oven cos we ran out of propane,this was bbq one, we’ve done this exact meal again already using bbq the full way through, got a new tank. also this is how i burnt my arm. it’s not healing, maybe that’s cos i keep reapplying polysporin, do i have to just let it alone, air it out? i am an ignoramus.

OK! happy saturday dewds!

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they’re way too big for me now i’m shoving them into my stomach here so you can’t tell. yes i realize the title no longer makes sense. no i don’t care. i couldn’t find one pair of highwaisted short shorts at the mall in burlington. i have a few more places up my sleeve. please recommend a secret spot if you know one. toronto short shorts watch update: still in the dark ages. i got my haircut by brennen today. i had a bit more breakage in the back, just a teeny bit ughh summer ponytails have to watch it. so now it’s some weird 80’s layered mop top. i don’t care anymore, my hair is a hat, it’s its own blog. whatever.

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what’s cooking tonight we feel like trouble. i was going to hang with the girls at midnight madness but i got the tireds and i am lucky i dodged that getting sick bullet so i better not push it plus last night’s fiasco was one for the shit show minx jinxed books, i should probably cut my losses now. pfft as if.

maybe i am just finally letting it sink in that i am home now and life is not straddling a palm tree while three shirtless cuban harlequin romance novel models slingshot daquiris up at me. aye carumba.

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haha in these pics you will be able to detect my deterioration over the course of the night. normally we hang just once per visit. this time twice. after a patio fiesta i’ll be back with the goods. plus her little sister too. so look out.

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