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not a bad long weekend there eh terry. i’m topless here, only wearing that scarf, tricked ya.

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the best pizzas ya ever did have.

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hands down ballers we is.

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matching alice in wonderland themed hibiscus (i?) i am turning the roof into a yacht club. don’t forget your boat shoes. fog horn blast.

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they are so versatile, have wheels on the back. i told linda (bro’s gf) that whatever “gift” you give us make sure it’s pretty cos i don’t want to be forced to look at some ugly patio junk, actually, in terms of personal household decor, all shitty gifts are allotted veto at any juncture in time, shit guy i live here you don’t, my taste is better so step off.

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baja chicken tacos from brazenhead. xoxoxox!

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gave teach a pair of my raybans, fakes. i look too masculine in them, sometimes they work.

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my aunt‘s birthday was this weekend, as my grandmother’s (would have been 91) so we ripped’er a good one on the deck. good times. the sun stayed true and the sky all blue. success.

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and i am so tanned/burned. gotta watch out for that.

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for my next birthday i want everyone in my family to quit smoking.

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the sun was scorching but once it left we missed it. we did fireworks in the park. a nosy naybe came over to hassle us and teacher lipped her off and i’m all actually this is very safe it’s contained in one giant sand bucket come on lady and no we won’t light a house on fire we don’t want that either. then the po po came and i go ALL DONE! we had actually finished they come up and see how waspy we are and how cute i am and one says but we didn’t say anything yet. flirting! shawn and dad had roadies blaha. while that witch was griefing us my brother was setting up a magnificent rocket explosion that blasted off before she was even a school bus length’s away from it HAHAHA. it was the loudest boom too and we cackled hysterically. it’s public space that lady can get fucked.

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nobody wants a roundhouse kick to the face from someone wearing a pair of these bad boys.

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inversely, no one is going to arrest a girl who exercises because athletes don’t break the law, they’re too busy drinking flax sprout smoothies and going to bed early. i plan on using the napoleon dynamite usa pants references more so in the future because i am turning into my uncle mike, gym ready, no gym required! splash pants work out attire ugly pointy nike shoes gold chains ahahahah.

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here we are showing up to CB to collect my swanky pizza pies and a cake. my dad is like DO NOT GO OVERBOARD. i am turning into a psychopath hostess type a perfectionist it is holy and scary. teacher and i had to wrestle our planter pots apart in home depot and it was somewhat junglist animalistic, the scarier scene of which went down in a canadian tire aisle prior to this. baby gets what baby wants and baby finds what she wants and knows what she wants don’t question baby. it’s reality show time. actually there’s a home depot scene on jessica simpson and nick lachey’s reality show but she’s a lazy trollop sitting in wedges on a cart while he’s looking for nuts or bolts or whatever man she is just a useless fucking blob but anyway MY scene involves fear and accuracy, sprinting, efficiency, passive aggression and maybe some lying.

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colleague’s like, lynn (remember her?) is here, bring your A game. (meaning photos) i’m like NO i am coming like a suburbanite doing errands.

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this chick comes right into my shot that colleague waits exclusively for. i know your bloody tricks WHERE ARE MY PIZZAS RAAAH! family was on the way, 30 minutes away, luckily they were late. we had 5 minutes to get everything in the fridge and sweep up and tidy before they came through the door. the barfing cat was on the fridge, jumps down, smashes a huge ash tray when i’m unloading the dishwasher and stocking the fridge. FUCK!

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the best gourmet pizzas ever ever ever!!!!!! family won’t stop talking about them. it was my colleague’s idea that cunning tart. i was trying to plan our menu, what to serve and he suggests cb pizza. i didn’t have to make any decisions, just make one veg and one meat. the meat was the best but the veg was also delicious, kind of a ratatouille flavour. perfect cos alison makes ratatouille all the time and my bro and i love it. it’s the same ratatouille from the movie too, the recipe was in the paper. cuteness!

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blahah look how cool i am playing it. DIVA. lynn didn’t know i was coming or that it was me standing around waiting for the ‘zas (i despise the ‘za term, just testing it out) hears “colleague’s name” and can you take my picture with the pizza!? (in major demanding tone of voice) she goes, raymi? AMBUSH! hi lora you were there too yes.

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and cos we foodies like that, show me yours and i’ll show you mine. those people pay a LOT of moohla to dine at that table, i heard how much. people amaze me. it looked like a lot of fun gotta say though. people watching, watching what they buy over wine and a top chef serving you while you dine with a star chef, who thinks up this shit? retarded. retarded awesome. ps. does lynn have a palm tattoo? woah.

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this just reminded me that i need to get serving trays, platters. something flowery printed and effeminate as possible. nantucket island garden tea.

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lovin’ the old toronto view.

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vintage charm bracelet from that store beside salvador darling. didn’t get to go overboard gift wise but, well, the patio and pizza i guess count and cake. i didn’t steal them right? right. the shells match her nautical jacket sleeve, she also lived on the sea for years on the east coast.

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couple new chairs are also in order. red flag will be dropping off two of mine, the green velveteen covered ones.

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this is what i was wearing when the cops showed up to our pyro party. why do you want to arrest cirque du soleil? no don’t, you can’t. you mustn’t. i told the busy body, look, i’m not a firework expert or anything here but, i kind of am. meanwhile teacher is arguing the physics of it all being completely improbable. she gives up after saying she’s PISSED. yeah we care and then BOOMTASTIC shawn lights one up. after awhile it got crazy we were lighting them one after the other then running into a lit one, yeah, shit show. hilarious.

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i told the cops we made some fans. we drew the neighbourhood in. they’re not doing fireworks this year down at ontario place why the fuck no i do not know. one day when i run for mayor i will look into it.

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exchanged that bracelet finally for this piece. fah byoo liss.

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we did us proud.

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it’s quite easy to forget that sparklers ARE sparklers when you’re trashed so be careful. i am kissing all of my fingers right now.

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thanks alison. she’s been in loads of films. this book is going to be very helpful.

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pretty glad the gaybourhood watch didn’t catch this appetizer.

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SUNDAY BLOODY SUNDAY lulz. SHAWN CAN’T BELIEVE THE NEWS TODAY! ahahaha. then the idiots had a nice long ass walk back. i took off with the dog at one point and was blogspotted by four fans (hi!) who also won a trip on my uncle’s boat so it was good to run into them especially right at the moment when i was bagging stella’s shit. STARS THEY’RE JUST LIKE US!

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as much as i’d like to take credit for the bottle of veuve i cannot. aunt alison brought it, thanks so much! got us nicely gassed before our revolution in the park.

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the cake is lemon raspberry.

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we polished it off entirely. with haagen dazs vanilla bean and strawberries. omfg.

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i’m sorry we didn’t get to try alison’s idea of strawberries and ice cream with champagne poured on top, by that point i was mangled and couldn’t lead the parade any longer. i was britt at thanksgiving haha.

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sparkle princess candles obviously.

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i said oh sometimes my hair goes wicked matriarchy and alison goes i can relate. lol. i was born a royal cunt basically. i really need to watch marie antoinette right now.

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sent linda home with some flowers.

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it’s even deeper than this now. this is just from saturday.

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more are blooming on the other hibiscus. bought two bags of miracle grow soil to fill the planters. let teacher have that fun job while i angrily cleaned the kitchen. sobering up to do chores on a gorgeous sunny saturday is murder. we made fun of it. we were disasters by 1.30 though, off ONE beer. sun stroke on empty stomachs. smart. such a fun saturday though, the patio part.

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someone spilled all over one lounge cushion, both sides. it was teacher. we are cushions obsessed. leslie is like now you know my pain. her sister spilled red wine all over her beautiful day bed couch thing and just flipped it over haahhaa. she is proud of the matching gayness decor and asked if i had show soaps yet. no not yet, show candles though!

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i love the brazenhead. i am getting old. pubs are for old people. they baby you so much i love it.

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got the best spot on the table, it was reserved for a party that never came. fuck i am good. i could write a book about how to get your way always.

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i like that new wheat orange whatever the fuck beer, their logo is cuter than the other one that just left my mind. anyway i do not want to make a beer habit out of patio-ing. that shit sneaks up on you fast.

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craig was there somehow deduced i was at the b head too, but on a different patio. there’s multiples. god i can’t stop blowing this place. teacher came back to the table like what the hell man i go to the bathroom and two seconds later someone’s up on my woman ha so i had to say that this guy is like my brother, pretty much. it’s never happened, it’s never going to happen, thuh end.

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time for a minxing again soon eh. i like to wrap it around an event, what’s coming up i can theme it with?

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ugh don’t get me started. between angelina jolie’s horrendous british accent, johnny depp’s fat face and ill-lengthed (growing our for pirates no doubt) hair, harrison ford’s terrible character in morning glory, some surefire shit picks this round. andrew my trainer told me how the tourist ends though so now i want to finish it.

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i must say, operating as though your rooftop is an island oasis does wonders for one’s soul.

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pretty much.

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going to add more plants and take portraits up there. maybe white willowy drapes of some sort, all outdoor massage bar in a tropical boutique resort.

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kind of fulfilling a weird crush i have on the neighbour dad in honey i shrunk the kids with that totally perfectly worn in hat vibe scruff plus we eat cheerios a lot now that we bought a box of the banana&nut flavour (SO GOOD) and there is a cheerios scene as well in that movie so the other morning, this morning i was like WOAH RELAX with the movie bonering me out now. damnit zalinski! ahahaha. it’s worth checking the google images of it, i know that movie inside and out we had it on vhs my bro and i used to watch the shit out of it. anyway.

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if you buy me nice wine, the bottle may stick around in vase form. that is a present i shall allow. check the vintages be my guest. sucks that we just returned all our empties. THAT was fun. the parkdale beer store and all the crazy lushes and rummies and crazy.

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i dm’d tat about my bathing suits. she wrote me and was like, please no more of your fucking black bikini. girl is hooking me up with some fashionable pieces. awesome.

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le sigh. poor teacher has to go back to work and i have to figure out how to see the screen on his imac pro through the sunny glare, buh oo hoo.

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trying to figure out the right outfit for the jewelery store. this is not it. i went out in these shorts and florida shirt with the dog for a spin while teacher tried to get the contact out of his eye (when the day turned into not fun for a little while) and i was like, are these too short or can i pull it off? i look like the slutty girlfriend to a sleazebag baseball player, from hickville new money turned city slickstress, from picton. gagah. i changed when i got back.

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loved this rose but it was a little one trick ponyish for me. came in peach and red and sigh barf explode sigh.

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i settled on the rose and teacher goes, there’s a barbie section. WHAT WHERE!?

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it didn’t sit right. at parties people would just come up to me and go, what’s that? oh uh i see. it’s nice and all but a full circle is more pleasing to the eye. a 20 year old could wear this. holy shit ever glad i bronzed my clavicle.

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love this piece, comes in many other colours but pink is my favourite, the hue is too similar to intestine purple murky pinkish but it still is quite darling and fetching, the elvin rope chain link is half the look too. if it was purchased for me i would wear it lets just say that.

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i like classic simple. this could not be passed up.

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we celebrated at stampede where my insta-fan-friend asks immediately what kind of nails do i have today? i went in there once when i had gator minx nails so i gave him my card. when i was posing with our burgers he goes A BURGER FIT FOR A MINX. ahahaha.

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staycation in parkvegas. reused this box for my aunt’s bracelet. made you look!

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sigh.

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next i’m after pearl earrings, studs, or in chrome. big ones.

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the rum chocolate shake was inhaled.

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omg i am so eileen. (nana).

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haha raymi and NOT raymi. raymi and OTHER.

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mmmmmmmmmmmmm i massacred it like a raccoon.

ok now i shower.