you were my muse and the world surrounded you i was so into you

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shawn and i turned into ed and eileen yesterday. i made him wait forever for me getting ready. dude i am on burnoutington time. chillax.

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watching the street in burnoutington is a past time.

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i was planted for awhile. vitamin dizzle.

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round two of this one featured blobs of chocolate ice cream.

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rocky is my little sunshine pants face. so, now you know. tucker max apparently talks to his dog in a baby voice too, unashamedly so. you need to witness my mother and i actually all of the kerouacs chillin’ with animals. it’s something.

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yesterday i dressed like a dickhead sailette.

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a pre chill-out drank at the slye. i said a lot of snotty girl things shawn’s like WOW you are such a bitch ahhahaa. overlooking the menu i muttered hmm slye dogs or something, so, trash. the hankerchief set it off superbly. i was trying to make everyone as uncomfortable as possible. excuse me peasants, you disgust me.

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as usual, there was no plan or organized thing, maybe swiss chalet? maybe a drink at swiss chalet? no i do not f–ing think so. so i figured out the fastest most efficient way to get everything without my brother’s delicate patience being blown and how to save/make the party that my mother and nana were both incapable of deciding on their own, happen. no one is good at planning and putting into practice in my family. last mother’s day nana almost kiboshed swiss chalet entirely or that was two years ago, can’t remember anyway something annoying always goes down so i’m on the phone here with my mom being like LOOK what is the plan if i go and grab a bunch of food and shit and nana and papa aren’t even back yet, can you, can you just please tell me what to do here AGHHH EXLPOSION!!!!!! BOOM!

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i figured it all out over a half pint of labatt blue light and some ridiculous excuse for thai chicken bites. why do you think breading things makes them tastier? do you want everyone to die prematurely? stop it pubs!

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we stress-devoured these.

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sometimes going to burlington is like going to texas, not that i have ever been to texas.

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see what i mean hahaha.

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blam there’s the one.

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mom got nana those flowers.

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i brought the salsa and chips and onion dip (MMM) and got nana that HELLO collector’s mag. assuming she’d have all the others. she did.

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putting on spf, her chest was getting red.

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the future.

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bro and i used to play badminton back here til we’d lose every ball and cock (ha) then resort to sneaking off to the park or playing nicky ninedoors. or some asshole shit. we were always punk kids.

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somebody hole punched confetti all over my cupcake. which was dry. tsk tsk mary lou’s, that’s a dufflet passed its prime.

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this is where my princess penchant comes from.

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i bought her that gold bottle two christmases ago from one of those old lady stores in the mall all full of crap like this. where is the nana store? usually upstairs across from bikini village, in the shitty stores no one shops at district. i know me my malls. thanks mom.

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nana and her peach roses. that’s SO nana. aahahaa.

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i whipped this together on a whim. solid gold.

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i sent this to teacher as he was at his mother’s sighing profusely moonily over me. do you want some coffee? sigh. lauren likes coffee. AHHAHAHAhA anyway he goes HOW DO YOU KEEP GETTING HOTTER? he bought me another present too and is currently DTD (it’s a PA day) with his colleagues and then lisa is making us dinner and having us over at her patio tonight yay life!

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gave mom that weird camera i won at high tea and a $50 bay card. she said she’ll get a new purse with it i said mom only fat girls get purses, that’s what they resort to. purses and shoes. those are privilege items. hmmph. plus she has so many purses already. such a waste.

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those were amazing nachos, no salt or trans fat, gluten free, so light mmm going to get more.

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apple crumble. shawn and i inhaled one of the fruit flan custard tarts in his truck.

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that’s a framer for sure.

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springgggggggggggggggggggg.

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super pissed off here but so happy too, didn’t care, shawn’s bitchiness was powerless against me.

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dirty mirror.

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shawn did something bad and this is the moment he got told.

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mom why the hell wouldn’t you post this one? wtf.

ok now i prepare my talk.

SHIT JUST GOT REAL!