no shame all fame

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the evening began innocently enough, well not really. i sent this photo to the teacher on my way out. it was a good idea. girls, this is how you squirrel your way into your dude’s cerebral cortex and bury nuts there, nuts made of 95% pink silk, wait, aren’t they already silky enough to begin with? steering away from the double entendre now. anyway, one of my jams is to ply a guy with snaps of times we’ve spent together. instead of texting the morning after when you’re drunk still, something you might regret, just send a photo, it will say enough. if it’s a photo he saw you take of your brunch together or an eccentric sign, anything you-him-date centric, send it.

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my hair is getting longer. likey like. i have it in a braid now. coming to america rat tail styles. it will be my new thing for the next little while.

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if i had or used photoshop i would buff this right out like xiaxue does though, to see the grain or texture of my twenty eight year old face, it’s not so bad, i’m not looking so bad? i compare myself to other girls who are aging along with me (we all do it), a year my junior, girls who have laugh lines, who have had laugh lines since they were 21, i’ve studied them in the scene over time in toronto, can’t help it, but anyway, all that non-smiling has paid off for me, and never tanning my face. i am noticing more eye crinkles though when i smile, though i think it’s cos i lost weight all my face definition is being revealed which makes sense, if it happens on your body then it too happens on your face.

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i can’t wait to have long curly goldilocks. i chose to go necklaceless last night to be simpler, less is more sometimes when you’re feeling that way. wearing a loud red dress is like 4 necklaces.

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too dark but for some reason lately i have been interested more so in my lips. you are benefiting from this minor interest spike. you can be an asshole with a big mouth as long as it’s pretty.

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asked these chicks for a photo pose, they loved it. the one i’m holding got right into it and prepped her wardrobe. man i could be big in japan i need to go there, how’re they holding up right meow anyway? anyway. yes i know how repulsive and insincere that just came across. haha anyway back to queen street west, i know right? this girl got an extra squeeze out of me cos she goes i love your hair and then she cooed at it and whispered blond in this dreamy airy voice.

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i very much stood out here and then became drunk instantly. this is mavrik, (they’re beside czehoski) and it was their soft launch last night, little miss in-the-know was invited for a snoop, their actual opening is today. they’re a wine bar. czehoski is pumped cos they’ll handle the spill over or waiting period for a spot over there and i am a big fan of plunking a wine bar so central in the city. elizabeth (one of the owners) was in finance in new york and dealt with the stress of her career in wine bars, so she decided to make her own and got her friend joanne on board. i love this back story, i love it when people stumble upon their venture accidentally. i picture elizabeth over decanting pinot being like I AM SICK OF CRUNCHING NUMBERS and then a lightbulb explodes over the wine fridge. cannot wait to go back and have some royal treatment, fingers crossed. i got in before all the media. good thing i dressed the part, having my colleague in-tow with the camera and my hair and the dress i was like oh damn now i’ve done it, time to go celebrity, lets work this. i posed for photos outside in front of 5 dirtbags with dog fighting type dogs (so trash) and didn’t look at them once while they raped me with their eyes. they thanked my colleague for that when we were finished. part of me wanted to go loco on them like you are thanking the wrong fucking person. i have a thing with photographers taking credit for MY art. it was a long ordeal betwixt my ex and i, if you get me started we will have to do an entire other post about it so i am stopping now.

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see how i am a chameleon? hair up, speaking of mavrick shades (topgun). this is why when i see someone i recognize that i haven’t seen in years i always point to my chest and go it’s me, raymi? because i know i’ve had 4 different looks since whoever it is saw me last. sometimes they’re like, DUH i know who you are. i have terrible people recall with some. the worst is re-inroducing friends of mine who have met and partied for YEARS. like i think the world and time stops when i go away, these people are LOST without me! i must guide them, guide their friendships in the dark! they’re like shut the fuck up and go away raymi we got this, duke and i saw each other at unlovable last week ok. haha it is i who is the one that’s actually in the dark here.

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i googled hello kitty swarovski yesterday. there is a BOW necklace. I NEED IT MORE THAN A PRISONER NEEDS WATER!

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colleague did the majority of the hack attacking, i stepped in for the photo credit like a politician chopping down a pre-chopped ready to timber evergreen. i think it would be really easy to be a politician, like, they are the worst acting liars ever, they make shit loads of cash, riddled with skeletons in their closets, i don’t have any sex videos that i am aware of leaked yet but i’m sure if that happened it would only further my career. a competitor of mine and i discuss this, if hers came out before mine then i had one out, then i’d be like second fiddle. however if i beat her to it then i have a f–ing sex video out? then we have this amazing blog post to reference. i can still remember the time when a sex tape was a big deal now it’s like, wow genitals, yawn.

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behind the scenes action wow raymi tell us what it’s like living the glamorous blog reality dream life? yesterday at mavrik, elizabeth kept congratulating me on all my blog success and i was like aha yeah thanks (forced grin keeping it together stressed out of my mind) it dawns on me more and more that, this persona i have, that i propagate, i’m supposed to carry it into the real world as well, keep the dazzle and the sparkle, be on. people don’t want to see or know the behind the scenes wear and tear, they want the escape and illusion and fantasy fairy tale. they don’t like to hear you ending an engagement. there is a disconnect i’ve come across, for example, on a date i was regurgitating all this fake princessy bullshit that i sell to you guys here (girls) that we all love and soap opera our way through my blog posts daily, but this guy wasn’t getting that i was being jokey about it, my arms were covered up and down with swarovski bracelets, i looked harajuku barbie playmate-ish and i said re: my jewels that i “needed” more. he thought i meant it, he thought that this fake person was my real person and i was embarrassed. i had carried it so fucking far that i couldn’t detect the difference between my jokes and reality.

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when you see healthy stuff laid out like that it’s like why not live this lifestyle? why would i want to felate a big mac? mmmmm. i’m still gonna be a good girl, right now i’m having low cal broccoli soup with real parmesan by v8. yum. i’m going to share some with the cat. update: she’s not into the soup.

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traffic has been brutal lately eh.

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more traffic more photos.

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i am also obsessed with my teeth.

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and every line beneath my eyes. if i had done my makeup properly there’d be less crap taking up residence in my eye crevices here. i was low energy tired this day.

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whiskervision. you can see some stache too. i promise i’ll do a stache shave tutorial video for you to make fun of and learn from. no shame all fame. blog title!

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teacher met me at metro because he knew i was out walking around looking like this and metro in liberty village is ground zero meat market and i am a good cut i can’t even walk to the car without tripping all over myself from all the double takes i get and check outs i’m sorry i have to keep talking about it but it fascinates me because i am a gargoyle living in this malibu barbie vessel and cos i compulsively look everyone in the eye right back, that’s a lot of eye contact. it stresses me out and pulls me to it. even girls do it, they get the nod though. men get nothing but stone face. aren’t we all glad i blog? can i get a thank you today please jesus christ misses omfg i have to register which takes an extra four seconds from sitting on my ass more stalking facebook and raymi’s blog meanwhile she’s on word count 1584 and i can’t be bothered to give her a high five because i am selfish and lazy.

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you know i found out an old friend (i considered her one) read my blog still by her contacting the teacher via ok cupid about it. this chick latched on to my ex fiance too. i’ll blog our back and forths later on if i’m bored. this is why i will never link his twitter or anything because of stupid fucking girls taking liberties like this like we’re all one giant family. just because someone is accessible to you doesn’t mean you should write to them. so revealing. she’s like i’ve enjoyed your exploits on raymi’s blog. creepy and seedy. our present status is complicated which is evident from my blog. i haven’t heard from her in two years. took me awhile to figure out her name, thank you gmail! i drunk FB’d her wall too and the last message i sent said:

Allow me to be psychotically clear – it should have been apparent that the teacher is my property I don’t care if u see him in p0rnos, breaking the fourth wall and contacting him is revealing as there is no bloody point to it, you can’t have him. I know it was a one liner and I don’t care as much as it seems I’m just with reason a little alert for these little things is all nothing personal sorry for fbing your wall I was drunk and you set me off

i have too many single white females who already stalk all my ex boyfriends and copy all my outfits while doing so and writing on their faces i love raymi in hot pink lipstick while jerking off to my photos and pretending to be me and shit so excuse my sensitivity when it comes to loved ones.

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how the rat tail got invented last night.

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how my underwear got me presents last night.

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sigh. my first dangly earrings. REGRESS!

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get mistress raymi gifts, this is so the movie the muse hahaha. i sent teacher a link to an etsy shop of these blue tiffany style cupcake earrings and nothing else. they’re only $15. we are in the liking each other again stage, well, more like, yeah, his date with a 22 year old at reposado (ick) earlier this week put things in perspective for me a little, and him. he quit smoking, is on the patch, day 8 or 9? my stalin style of bossing him around works for us.

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hahaha dork.

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i’d only wear this dress on skinny days, skinny zero bloat or cramping days, i waited so long the thing doesn’t fit me at all, is too big, which is an achievement i am happy about. yeah no i totally wish i was fatter so my dress would fit right. pfft. the shoulders always buckled too much.

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the act is what counts to me not what the gift is (though i reminded him that i was after a new simple girly necklace hahaha) and to know that he is trainable and that he knows he landed on a treasure (me) it’s nice to be spoiled, i had forgotten what it was like. i spoil myself so much it’s nice to have a break and let someone else take over and not be so hyper bitchy all the time and on edge perfectionist control freak. i am apprehensive to give in, why, so i keep myself open for other queen west hotties who will never fucking speak to me and then it’s winter again? cool story toronto.

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i’m kinda bombed here from dinner. primed. lol.

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i look like minnie mouse. it’s a bit garish but the pink saves it. he’ll learn. maybe they’ll let me exchange it.

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the girl was like, is it her birthday? he goes no, it’s thursday. the girl sighed enviously. FINALLY. valentine’s day came late for me this year. then he got the earrings. he said the girl wanted to hate me but then gave in. he retold this scenario 5 times very proud of himself. i’m not going to knock it cos i want to continue getting presents hahahahehehe.

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i walked in here once with cheryl, their name is correct, because you think you’re walking into more than just a jewellery store. you have to be buzzed in, it’s in parkdale i mean, come on. so they buzzed us in even though we were dressed like goth tramp (her)(hahahaahhahahaha) and LES scenester (me obvi.) and i knew that it was a special holy right, jewellery world, a serious world i was not ready for yet (i was 19) and even though i was making a lot of money at the time (being a virtual plaything) i still felt unworthy of jewellery. i had an abusive drug dealer bf at the time so that was part of it. having this box in my hands yesterday moved me, i didn’t tell him why it was so touching. i am so far away from who and what i was nine years ago, that scary dangerous place, i am proud of myself, its like i went back to that pretty woman moment in that boutique and bought that girl a ring, who should have had one bought for her back then but she didn’t know that she deserved one. dudes i am bawling right now ahahah wow hormonal!

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loved this and loved dinner last night with colleague and jeanette. it was amusing to give her a sample of raymbo’s world. see how hard it is not to succumb to temptation?

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chocolate ricotta cake? i mean, come on. i had the teeniest bit and let her take the majority home with.

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lora kirk will be at CB on sunday do not miss her. here she is showing my colleague what she plans to make, i saw it too. mini macaroni (as the bun) hamburgers! if you go to cheese boutique this sunday to get your mother’s day crap you can sample that while you shop. the festival of chefs is upon us again, it’s festival season oh yeah and chef lora is kicking it off. there’s your lead, foodists.

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check out the other mastermind in the kitchen at ruby, chef lynn crawford. she scared me a little bit, haha no i was just nervous. colleague says she has a show on food network, or had one? looking at the bio on ruby’s site it looks like the owner cherie is the one with food television ties, anyway the point is, tv is important to me. i get starstruck too you know. she followed me in to the bathroom with this camera and was like what are you taking pictures of? i wanted to get the napkins, they have the resto’s logo on them, which i equate to $$, if you are branding top quality paper hand towels, for some reason i feel like that’s important to my audience? to princesses, i like every single detail covered and featured. my food reviews are more than just food, because food has more to it than just food. it says something about the person, where they dine and what they dine. do i ever review garbage fast food chains? never. i would never associate my brand with rubbish. so i appreciate the extra mile in stamping napkins, as chef lynn crawford, eons and light years more famous and talented than i, wipes down the counter surrounding the crate of paper towels, so thick may as well be linen, so that i can photograph them. this woman is a perfectionist, i thought and i see perfectionists as holy sentient beings.

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my colleague was like, you took a picture of towels and not of her? or you and her in the mirror? uhhhh…..shit. i couldn’t even get a shot of myself, the lens and distance from wall to mirror, it wouldn’t focus or take. it would have been embarrassing had i thought to do that so thankfully i kept it cool and retarded and took pictures of napkins like a fucking idiot! IDIOT YOU STUPID STUPID GIRL! haha chris farley interviewing paul mccartney on snl moment.

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lynn inquires, so, are you (you are) that blogger girl? i blushed. but went yeeee-ep. longest yep of my life. i apologized for not ordering the pork shoulder (she specially made me beef tenderloin instead, it’s a set menu, it was taboo of jeanette and i to do that on a set menu, no, it’s insulting is what it is. cuisine world is a bit fascist, you’re a vegetarian oh? fuck you no you’re not you’re having venison is pretty much how it goes) and stammered a bunch of other crap too, that i would have the pork anyway from my colleague’s (ended up not doing that) of which said he would get the kitchen to accommodate my post cleanse diet. coming back from the kitchen i nod and go, so you said hi and mentioned my food thing and did they tell you to go fuck yourself? he’s like, pretty much. kitchen intuition. fuck at this rate i’ll be penning a cooking confidential of my own.

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i love the style of presentation, very family sharesies. the menu changes daily. so fun and fresh. i checked it out online and had the words STEEL HEAD TROUT stamped in my brain.

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my next post will be colleague’s pics. hope the lighting wasn’t too dark.

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cherie (the owner) found this amazing sign in the junction and it became their name. it is such a great piece. it’s obviously from a watch company. i forget that part of the story unfortunately.

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fellinis. delicious. i just looked at the menu and my heart sprung a boner, they have seared beef carpaccio on the menu tonight. omfg. the place will likely be packed. they had the windows open last night, the vibe and atmosphere is so date bar, so special occasion restaurant. it’s in the east end too, a side of town i seldom investigate. queen/broadview it’s right there, you can go to jilly’s afterward. ew. by the way foodies (who hate/love me)(just give in to it already ok, i got you beat, just, i dunno, take it out on your whisking) it’s a big deal that we got in at ruby, they are not all about the internet. they tell the media when they show up not the other way around. nothing like the foodelite.

*if anything i said was incorrect here (sometimes information going through the raymi filtration chambers gets a bit like playing telephone. i don’t take notes. or do duvet covers on comforters.)

TGIF!

i just sat in silence for a very long time writing this it’s like loudness was holding its breath i deserve some music now.

ps. tonight i’m a cheap drunk and it’s melodie’s birthday/going away to paris party at our fourth monthly ADVENTUREHOUSE PARTY @ SALVADOR DARLING TONIGHT!!! come!! 9PM. you are all invited. 1237 queen street west.