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i’m addictive personality incarnate. get me on to something and good luck trying to get me off it. from hello kitty, to sitcoms, making goofy drinks, coffee, chocolate, fitness, blogging, taking pictures, i wrap myself up in that shit like an anaconda coiled around your thigh, it’s not over til one of us is dead.

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so naturally i am a little apprehensive about ending this cleanse/detox/fast. i know it doesn’t have to end but for the sanity of everybody around me, kinda have to does.

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jeanette made us up some shots, pomegranate-based then added all these droplets of things, potent crap. i let her put the most disgusting one on my tongue, it was like swallowing dirty garbage coney island seaweed. hippies are mental right? my pupils instantly dilated once i had it and i saw the crescent arc of a thousand eclipses at once, i saw my spirit and became one with health, and being and light. i could keep going you know, slap this in a pamphlet and drop ‘em off at noah’s, start a bullshit cult ahhaha. ok ok sorry sorry SORRY for the enthusiasm and the sense of humour, GOD! but anyway seriously don;t overdo the drops of magic you might start an ashram or think you can or something but now you are just some 9-5’er having an identity crisis so just go chill on some wheat grass at fresh, kay?

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can’t stop it folks it’s snarky persona day.

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one should sample a bit of everything that life has to offer. you’re an idiot not to. i could never imagine a regimented strict restrictive existence. i already restrict all the time. i’ve been fantasizing about just being fat or trying to figure out how i can eat a lot, forever and more without weight gain or how to curb my cravings and i figured out what i have to cut out and i am kinda mega bummed about it, number one guilty party of munchies, you know who. my thinking medicine, mood neutralizer/stabilizer, connecting to woody harrelson’s plane of thought stuff. it is time.

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taste review: repugnant but i was man enough.

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don’t worry i’ll make up for this fugly one. i was lazy with my hair yesterday. my shitty day is your best, don’t forget that little mean girl raymis.

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here we have a raymlin ™ – if you feed her after midnight she turns into a scary psycho and if you get her wet, she multiplies. that’s how it went, right? hang a sec BRB i have to inside joke burn my brother just hold up.

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shawn look it’s you!

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HAHHAHAH!

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so you ahahahahahh burn!

ok thank you for your patience where were we?

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coconut hack attack time no biggie!

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i was shit at it.

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jeanette said she used this knife (if any nerds out there were going to peanut gallery something stupid about it) because it was sharpest or has a good, angle. we used a butcher knife afterward, for cutting bones you know the big beast kind. i would have preferred to use a machete but you know, that’s just me. next time i will request one.

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raymism: you never know unless you ask.

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jeanette‘s little duder was there puncturing our chat with questions about star wars (he was playing a video game) so it’d be like oh yah, macca is like wicked good for you? oh what’s that? yeah you just need to get to c3po and hang off the ledge as far as you can before jumping that’s why you can’t pass the level, ok so what are the beneficial properties to coconuts?

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highwaisters from AA, feeling them.

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omg fin-all-y i was like you know i’ve only been starving for two weeks WHAT IS THE RUSH JEANETTE!?

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if you wanted to know how big my head was in relation to a coconut, now you know. the bigger the head the bigger the brain. do you like how i talk about how smart i am in every post? one of the first things i said to the teacher was, i am smarter than you, it pissed him off but i was right and have done nothing other than drive my higher-intellect outwittingness point home time and again since day one. yesterday i said do not let me have any chocolate, any more chocolate, i said i was going to do very dirty things to get my way, manipulative dark things and if i prevailed he would be in severe shit. i am trying to keep this post below hemorrhaging so PG-rating so i say no more.

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alright NO MORE F-ing around now.

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i didn’t want to lose a finger. i am your brave fearless leader pay NO attention to that sniveling coward over there.

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see told you, now i have a knife. do not try me. it was self defense officer. ha.

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oh so caj.

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we ate the meat. it’s nice. good fat too. the juice was very subtle.

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coconut juice is pretty much the same compound as human blood, they’ve used it for transfusions because of this, it quickly helps the person to generate more blood essentially. also, coconuts take 9 months to absorb water and whatever to fill up and become ripe. also like humans, hmm, not to go out on a limb or anything here but do you think coconuts are trying to be like us? freaky. back off dudes don’t wanna see yous walkin’ around with arms and legs and chuck taylors on now and shit, shit gives me the creeps.

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not to gross you out but some popped out like a zit at first ew.

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wow kapow shake base!

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i cleansed the kitchen to ward off fat evil vibes. smudging. no comment.

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please be gone!

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jeanette said i could keep it i was like no i would set the house on fire.

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ooh sexy after dark cleanse times.

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getting at the meat for the shake. it wasn’t a sweet coconut. jeanette said she makes chocolate pudding out of coconuts. omfg why would you say that to meeeee.

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massacre.

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trying to get the bits of hair and wood off then i just threw it in my glass of water. way smarter, yeah i’m going to shave it all off? idiot.

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i pre-ate the majority of the strawberries. i am a pig.

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i spy goji berries. mom you keep asking what i was eating. cant you not just see from my blog what i am or am not eating? vegetable broth, fruit, salads, no meat. THE END! no dairy, no nothing. no nuts, no bread. for the first week you can have brown rice, quinoa. no pasta! come on this is no brainer shit here. NO MEAT! avoid citrus fruits. portion control. steam everything if you can manage. lots of tea. no coffee no booze. have fun trying to to murder everyone around you.

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all natural vanilla bean. so good you want to eat it as is. don’t. it’s gross. nowhere near as delectable as it smells.

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maca. magic stuff. gives you a zip.

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anticipaaaaytin’

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at first we were like uuuuuuh but then that gave way to yum! it was so potent jeanette’s son couldn’t have any, potent by vitamin powerfully rich. this is what i like to hear tell me it’s souped up full of crazy and pour it down my throat.

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i only drink from miniature glasses though cos i have an alice in wonderland complex.

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just kidding i like wine glasses too. obvs.

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i’m going to eat liquid food twice a week. oh yeah i’m doing full on weird dieting now.

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to us.

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it was a beautiful early evening sun. i love the eccentric rooftop across the way so much.

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this post sponsored by pentax. lolz. raymi’s first digital camera. it was $960. i forget how many megapixels i’ll get back to you on that. (no i won’t).

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%^$&^$R* ALLERGIES!

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i went KISS in the mascara. MASCARY more like.

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good recover, draw it back. look at how i stand like an arrogant dick. that’s my i think i know everything stance. you know why? it’s because i do.

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raymism: OWN THY SHIT.

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body language at the backyard party says, i dominated this drink like i will dominate you, so step up to the plate why don’tcha. pussy. no just kidding we was havin’ us a lovely chat.

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jeanette has a tiny pinky. hope i didn’t give you a complex.

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ok lets get this show on the road i gotta go watch survivor and before that, cook.

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it’s a wonderful life. stop complaining.

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i look a bit like shit but overall jeanette said i have a glow about me now, i am different. a light has been lit within me, i am newly invigorated and motivated to stay on healthy track. i now know that my coffee addiction is for gutter trash and i have to curb it. i will and have. one a day then lots of teas. then only tea. which means i have to stop other bad things too. i am going to buy NICE wine for ME ONLY and have centimeter increments of it. you can get drunk off a little bit of wine if you LET yourself get drunk on just a little bit, which is what i’ve noticed and become most irritated by people with, watching them compulsively gurgle my nice wine special occasion cheating wine fucking infuriating. also if you’re going to do this, make sure whoever gets the wine for you gets more than one bottle cos they think they’re helping you limit by getting one only but wrong they are stupid and not planning ahead at all it’s ok no one is as smart as you yes you have to do everything and think of everything yourself there is no point in asking for help ever because they will always get it wrong. anyway. one day if i am feeling like it i will write my own diet manifesto and you can request it by email and i’ll send you it for $100. my diet posts go viral. no more shit for free. i put my theories to practice and get results. if you need help in any area of your life, i’m a gun for hire, you know it. i have personally styled chicks before, planned entire weekends for visiting couples to toronto. mhmm. i am a life coach.

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i feel it’s powers working jeanette!

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how do they get the light inside that crystal like that?

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i want to set deck a boudoir one day. with unlimited funds.

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pamphlet jacket stance.

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toodle-oo! thanks for everything jeanette. you changed my life! i will dedicate my playboy spread to you ahhahaa.

melodie is on the way over i’ma cook for her. tonight i have two foodievents. be strong. very scared kinda want to only drink food despite phenomenal food cravings over the last two weeks. we will see how it goes. pms-central just in time for advhaus party tomorrow night. i like that those parties align with ma cycle.