i’m on my last two cents

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yo hustlas lets do this fast and easy, like how i like my women, men? no matter about them they break pretty easy with minimal push. anyway, auntie’s got a mad hankering for the notebook on this gloomy sunday. which ain’t so gloomy as i’m coasting on a few highs. one being a shopping high (used my AA gift card); two, regularity; um it’s sunday? well i’m more so stoked i got up and at’em, also another batch of laundry too.

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casie threw this in the sink at yuk yuk’s. creative. i love the crazy.

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we started out in the very back. my guy said the first round was on him so we got two double vodkas. i cheated last night. sorry whatever it was a special personal treat it’s not like i’m going to move on now to a gallon of home made red wine ahahah.

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funny dude. i was underwhelmed by everyone though. i want to do stand-up. casie said o’niz does it i was like whaaaaa? who cares if i trainwreck. i am a professional trainwreck. i’m going to do queen west hipster personae.

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jason (thinks i’m a genius) osler was there. i know he has a secret crush on me. he always sends me big brother noogie-grinding texts so i ushered him to the second row with us. he had a mini him with him too seriously a younger guy with glasses with the same mannerisms, funny nice guy.

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proud to see my buddy ben miner up there. also it was ryan who brought us to the second row. all i gotta do in life is go someplace anyplace and there’s always someone i know there just waiting to unclip the red velvet vip rope for me it’s true. people have a better time at work if their homie shows up. employees universally snore their way through shifts it’s much more fun if your community extends to a couple extra shitheads in attendance who aren’t employees.

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kay see jason? see the mini-him? hahahaheheeehhee yes. can mini raymis start sprouting up already GOD! margaret cho has a midget asian cho. need i make other examples?

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this guy was good, his schtick was being a pig wop. i am kind of into dirtbags like that, sleazebags cos they are the penultimate opposite of what i “shouldn’t” be into (teacher says that this sentence makes absolutely no sense)(i’m only letting him read this post for if i went too racist, he is barred from reading my blog still). all those years in streetsville, at the hardware store working for italians has made me a woppy bitch when it comes to household duties, demands, unreasonable expectations. don’t worry all the other races and nationalities i have not made prejudiced stereotypes about yet i will get to you in due time. i coast between jappy whiner to bitchy italian princess and then when i fight i go ghettovale, ‘sauga falconer on a mawfuckur. it’s scary.

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this shirt helped me get my picture taken a lot at the ossington. ok so back to being into dirtbags, (mind is all over the place, so are my photos, so just enjoy the ADD trainride to who knows town) i’ve told melodie that i am in to two types of guys only 1. tens (GQ hot) 2. disgusting puketastic vile wretches of society riddled with mental illness cocktails (these are the ones i have rando sex dreams about, ugh i know hahaha) and i don’t know why that is. who knows. i mean i sort of get it, one extreme or the other but really?

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we were late. of course we were. my fault. spent two minutes at the brazenhead because i wanted SOMETHING to eat. i ate food yesterday. fast one day. cheatish one day and today i’m fasting again, well, i had soup, liquid food.

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tomorrow is melodie’s birthday yay!

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and i am definitely getting sick. sad face. throat is getting way swollen. hope it’s a quickie.

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was such a tease being here for such a short time.

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that man over our shoulder took our picture, well, aimed it directly at ME. why did he do that? allergy season is making me look wicked tired.

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i wore this to sherway gardens today.

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i have eating guilt but not enough to make me suicidal like in the beginning. i watched the teacher eat 85% of a huge thing of nachos and i didn’t sneak one. meanwhile beside me, lisa is having salty fish tacos. i had matzo ball soup. i only had the broth. i had mussels too. they don’t count as food they’re like popcorn, well, chewy snot really. um i am a retard it just dawned on me only ow that mussels aren’t vegetables. DISCONNECT honest mistake. yes seriously that just happened. SOS baby: strung-out sunday mix.

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got two pairs of highwaister leggings, blue and black. and a blue thong though i think the teacher should have paid for that as stella ATE mine like the first time i came here. my red calvin kleins.

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i’ll be wearing that shirt on the airplane to south beach. leslie is gonna meet up with us at some point. STOKED.

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i love shopping malls. thanks mom! it’s the only place moms and daughters agree to go together to and then become mortal enemies from. YEAH I’LL MEET YA IN A FUCKIN HOUR!

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could you look more like a pack of smokes? also, could you give us more than 9 pieces? FUCK YOU! i bumped into auntie winnie and uncle jim too at the mall (aunt win is nana’s sister) and she couldn’t get over how tall i was, when did i get so tall? um i’ve always been this height, leigh and i are the same height, she might have a hair on me though. they were going to go to the pickle barrel too. i kind of don’t want to go there cos the city blew $50k during G20 at PB but they have so many things for needy assholes i can’t not go back at least 5 more times. at the very least.

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safe to say the most unenjoyable game of risk that i have ever played.

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uma thurman hands (my hands are actually quite small for my height, feet too). my roots have never grown in so fast before. it’s all the super hippie pills and beauty tea and those weird gross drops in my gallons of water. i’ve figured out how to make your hair grow faster. jeanette is going to be rich.

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good ol brosz7.

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not food if you blend it! onion soup hot salsa avocado bit of west indian hot sauce, tequila chaser.

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reminds me of that shot of duck blubber, liver? foie gras shooters were sent over to us at epic (royal york) with some white creamy topping and there were mystery layers of stuff. it was more liquidy than these.

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had to keep adding avocado to cut the heat. one day i will marry a spice lover like me and it will be hot burning shit heaven together forever. you can puke at any time now. haha brosz7 bought that beer cos of the black keys song commerical. said it tasted bad.

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next time i’ll make my own base, tomatoes onions smokey bbq sauce, parsley um we’ll see.

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we went to wal*mart to get risk and wanted to murder each other in the parking lot afterward wow what a toxic scene up in sufferin mall. anyway this pissed me off. soft drink beverages in tall boy cans. maybe you should have paid me to endorse your new cherry drink dr. pepper, dr. dre is rich enough!

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my first kosher soup experience. i had a nibble of the matzo. i am impressed by the science behind a ball of bread not turning to mush, well it remains mushly intact. teacher said it looked like cat brains. ew haha.

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told the waitress i had an eating disorder she’s like hahaha i know you’re kidding. i’m all yeah… like the scene in get him to the greek when fat guy stooge has heroin shoved in his arse and russell brand is like why not put us on the plane it’s not like he’s got a balloon of heroin shoved up his ass and the flight attendant is like aahha classsssic. i said no garlic bread with my mussels (that i asked to be spicy were not spicy when they came out, hmm how interesting it’s like they didn’t listen to what i wanted or something there hmmm) and then before that i have a dismantled ball pile of matzo bread glob on the plate beside the soup and the other floating uneaten in my soup. she then put it together that this retard is a finicky eater so i go, apologetically, i have an eating disorder. it wasn’t funny. i should have said i have obsessive compulsive disorder, i have to have bread but i can’t eat it. ok that wasn’t funny sorry i’m getting sick and stupid.

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brazenhead quickie. we parked in the RESERVED AT ALL TIMES parking spot because we fucking RULE.

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wow i look trashed. oh that’s because i was. we got a couple drank tickets here each too. cheap drunk now big time also with zero base to go on. smart move girl! i made a lot of fans from my dance moves and picture taken. i want those bad boys. hi paul nice to see you!

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this is animal abuse of some sort. whatever. this is the variety store by that crazy prom dress store on queen. go see for yourself tell this guy he’s got a couple f–‘n screws loose.

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shopping done got owned today. so efficient. buh-bye now.

CLEANSE DAY llll llll !