now you labour every day love life drifts away

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good morning, well, afternoon to everybody else with hints of normalcy in their lives. here i am hung at 28. it’s sinking in, i haven’t had much (TONS) time to reflect but i think i’m good with it. established last night with courtney that it’s ok to be 28 because you’re stiiiiiill clinging on to youth but totally over the mature girl threshold. things start to matter. i am tired of how tiring i am to everyone about everything and i apologize for all of this, i mean it. why do i have to make a big production out of everything? why not for one but also, i see how it stresses everyone out around me and i feel like a disgusting human being for it however like in mean girls, it’s better to be involved and suffering than to be outside the sparkly pink raymi tornado of things, yes? i’m relieved to learn that a lot of people share a birthday just before and after mine so next year we can get a circus tent and no one gets to leave until they’ve reached black out. i am already planning next year’s fete and i was just apologizing for all my excessivities. learning is for students.

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pink world is growing. i said to courtney and teacher that i actually felt, i forget the words, annoyed maybe, by myself and they were shocked in a facetious way. i think people feel all sorts of crazy around their brithdays so i’m just going with it, one second i am like BRING IT while another, oh noes and now if i die it won’t be significant enough cos it won’t make the 27th jinxed year curse but hello, how is dying at all significant anyway i’m not special enough to die yet.

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or i’m too special to die either way i’m destined to be tortured on this blue earth for lots longer yet now i have to join arms with the yuppielite safety generation and start wearing elbow pads and eating muslix and vitamins buh-oring but live forever vital.

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ok enough with the heavy shit. i went and got minxed yesterday after my hair appointment, i was late for both. no more being late now that i am 28. lots of rhyming things with twenty eight too. fate great mate plate chate date satiate (ooh fancy) and so on. yesterday was a skinny big mac day so i got to dress like a slob. the slobbier i dress the more arrogant i am in the head you can and should apply this to other girls for fun to see if i am right. i also went out with warlock party statue from the night before face, not at all hot shoulda seen me with the hair dye in out on the street like david bowie labyrinth rock of love disaster.

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we got retarded in the tickle trunk last night so i could only bear to deal with a minimal amount of photos, i have a huge backlog too, and now i’m at the tower and my laptop is in my room therefore you get blasted with blackberry phone it in shots.

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love these metallics, minx was especially keen on me going metallic even though i wanted the pink plaid. which i will get next time. the blue really brings out every single hand flaw (engorged veins) and whiteness overall so if you’re going to do anything blue/metallic your hands better be pretty.

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gah what do i wear tonight? do i buy a new dress? too hung for that? and too hungretarded to build a new outfit and i don’t know where we’re going so please tell me precisely what to do. it’s your duty as a canadian citizen to assist your internet darling for her birthday journey, pretend it’s war time (isn’t it always anyway?). haha i just had a flashback of looking up at darius as the giant twin tower that he is the other night saying raymi, you are not only the biggest in canada i think more like all of north america. did that happen and isn’t that redundant too? picture two cavemen in my head taking turns banging rocks together to try and start a fire right now because that is what is happening with me and trying to make thoughts happen.

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this is when brennen was like ok get the fuck out of here you’re late. he had to get to fashion week too. that guy is massive i am lucky he does my hair. he put collagen in it this new serum from loreal which in hair world is a big deal, my hair is softer than feathers right now i’ll post photos of the syringe and bottle it was very mad scientisty.

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some loser on blogto left a hater comment beneath a feature on brennen saying if they blogged about it would he bleach their roots for free too? haha fuck off fuckhole, no. you are a nobody with zero influence and if you blogged, no one would read it because of the former thing we just talked about, you’re a tree falling in the woods and not only is no one around to hear you falling, they’re all busy furiously beating off to me over here. also, its more than bleaching, he tones my entire head and it lasts all the way to the next roots dying/growing.

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ha ha woah brennen you look like harry and the hendersons today amazing look. brennen gave me some wicked advice about men and love life and all of my stupid bullshit, he is like a guide, guru. every big leaguer i have ever met always comes with a gauntlet of sage wisdom and all of it is correct, always. these are the people you listen to. anyway, one of bren’s other clients came in and immediately said she had cheated on him with another dresser because she couldn’t afford him. girls know all about that. i sat there smugly, well, more crazily reacting to my hair being rinsed, i have very sensitive scalp and when water goes over the back of my head it tickles. so i have no make up on, crazy tired face and no eyebrows, my hair is in a wrap, salon cheater has no idea what’s going to come out of that. earlier i said don’t look at me now because i promise later i will be a butterfly.

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he gave her a great fringe, she was transformed. i was like are you sure you want to be the bangs of spring/summer time of your life? she was like yes, holding on to the cover with nicole richie’s new hair on it. the point of this story is no matter how amazing her hair was, when she saw mine blown out she was stunned and said i WANT to be blond too. this hair IS magical. really is. before i could tell she was a bit annoyed by me talking and spazzing out in the sink beside her, she was kind of type a, anyway i knew her kind and once she saw princess head she submitted. thank you for that brennen. i looked at her and was like this is going to be a lot longer someday maybe, in a year, long barbarella cascading curls and THEN, watch the fuck out. she was impressed, agreeable and nodded. she looked super hot too that was a mega necessary transformation, half feist half jennifer connolly.

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before that, not my best work or look or angle or anything but, i looked like this androgynous male model. we have the same features, dark eye/brow penetrating present excellence (do not steal that) my brother too, matching mole.

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im going to text it to my brother and say it’s both of us.

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we wear our scarves the same way and i think the same scarf, eerily similar from what my grey scale vision skills tell me. by the way is there such a thing as selective seeing? like selective hearing? i think so.

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you think you know me? which one did i read and the only one. i chose them all from the huge stack though so kind of riddle within a stupid riddle.

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i need finger bling. i called courtney’s rings, first necklaces (i think i had a brain stroke) and then i called them bracelets. finger bracelets. bracelets for your fingers. guh my brain is exhausted right now you should have seen me try to type the word eerily up there, took several attempts. disaster. courtney says she is wrecked too. thanks PBC. her bday was sunday. we are the same age. i love her. she has hugging issues, she said i clang (clung? ha) to her in bed a couple months ago talking til 5 in the morning. i only did it to tenderize her a little she is too frigid but at least she doesn’t hug herself in photos anymore or cross her arms as much. rayminfluence is working.

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rayminfluence could easily be a class. no wait i think you are already in that class. have you become more stupid or more enlightened since reading my blog?

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oh nice someone rode their bike to work can’t wait to start doing that again.

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oh yes next time i’m getting pinky metallics or something. kathy said minx needs to design a custom raymi decal and i agree and will keep repeating it until that happens. it’s that or noble peace prize. which one am i closer to?

aaand publish it’s motrin time.

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Dear Lauren,

Sincerely,
Catherine