chasing raymi

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ready for some lifestyle challenge voyeurism?

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get a load of that handprint haha rowr. this is walter, he’s welsh like me (i become more of a certain part of my heritage when i come into contact with others of the same origin uh was i hallucinating that walter was welsh? who told me that?)

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beefcake two is dan. wow i look retarded. bad lead photos (of me).

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getting ready for the ladder boot camp style. would you watch this on tv? i would.

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come on boys, chase me, if you catch me then, well, it’s up to you what you do with me. you probably would have no idea anyway so i’m not scared.

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and that’s for these two only not some psycho out there in their silence of the lambs house licking their lips right now. by the way a video i put up years ago dancing to goodbye horses (it’s in silence of the lambs) has not only SO many views but, the most psychotic sketchy rude terrible and disgusting comments ever. go look. people talk to me like i am living in that video. death threats. stupid movie quotes. ugh. i approve all of them too as evidence plus, they’re not even humans to me, freaks who worship a fictional character (buffalo bill)(was he fictional) in a cross-dressing scene when he says i’d — me, i’d — me hard. they ALL say that in my youtube comments. dad don’t look.

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this was a fun day. dan had already done his own workout before i showed up at my regularly scheduled thri-weekly work out so he did extra working out. impressive.

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and walter hustled his ass off like never before thanks to yours truly i am told. i can’t wait to have a rematch with them. that’s anthony behind me, he works out the same time i do three days a week with the russian nightmare, seen in the red on the left. that’s andrew i’m following, we work out on mondays.

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the beginnings of raymi skinny are apparent here.

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aw look at the cute little bunny go. sorry dudes but my brain goes like this weekly: motion room, no motion room, motion room, no motion room, cover up being hungover at motion room, do i do boot camp on saturday or do i try and be good on my own aaaand it’s motion room again the point is you turn into a hamster in the brain after all that working out and start referring to yourself as a bunny rabbit (i am hopping after all)(she has a point). i’m fine with it. i need some structure anyway.

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ugh lunges i hate them. my legs are always sore from how hyperactive i am. my legs are what propel my brain around and make weird activities and things that i do happen. seen?

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today my legs were really sore and i had to explain it was from some extracurricular stretching i do on raymi time. off hours. which essentially is on the clock cos the show never stops i am always collecting and gathering data, content, stories… the point is james can we focus on upper body today please thank you i think the gams are good to go.

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and so i don’t like lunges very much but i know it’s all for the greater good. doing weird strange precise bicep curls and having kash obsess over my form and pinching my back has resulted in a defined back. i didn’t know that was even a thing! or achievable. i thought well this pile of potatoes is what i have and that’s what i am so i’ll try to make do. nope. you can actually be a transformed person. i am drankin’ the koolaid for sure now guys.

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this move is crazy neat you arch your back and if you want maximum results fire your core do it super slow and squeeze your butt, you squat down onto the ball, NOT sit. sitting only gets you a fat cubicle office ass, squatting gets you in p0rno. that’s raymi words of wisdom of the day (don’t worry there’s more).

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i love to check out my form in the mirrors too. specifically how much my shorts wedge into my butt crack and how everyone is pretending not to look.

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if they can do it then you can do it so come on lazies. takes bravery and it is never ever too late to start.

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cross-overs with the medicine balls. i love them. then you pick it up by squatting lift it up in the air and squat bring it to the ground again, kick it to the side like in soccer and catch it with your other foot, also like in soccer then do it again. i fire my core and flex my butt to get optimal results because i am smart like that. i picture myself like a super hot famous celebrity running like a maniac or kicking the shit out of a boxing bag with my sweaty gym clothes strangling and clinging to me but also getting looser cos that’s what happens when you work out and so i think YES my plan is working i rub my palms together like the bad guy in a cartoon, i’m getting fitter and better and younger and hotter and then there will be NO stopping me. hey whatever it takes to get through a friggin’ work out eh.

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each ball is a different weight. my blue one is heavier and it matches my outfit and my form is terrible. back is too rounded and i should be looking forward, back should be flat. i know better now. the lower you squat the more you feel like a gymnastical animal from the forest of exercise ready for attack.

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only some minimal s talk went dan’s way by way of the raymi telegram. come on you p*ssy. full stop.

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this is the one that kash is obsessed with which is fine cos it’s slow and gives me a chance to enjoy the sweat storm raining out of me because i am a garbage bin of toxicity. oh look i’m doing weights by myself in the mirror reflection over there (only two spots on this machine to do this move).

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i think i notice a difference in anthony. not sure though. yeah actually for sure he’s getting slimmer.

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and as for this little whippet…

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colleague get your ass over here why do you think we are even here to begin with hey?

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i had noticed the exquisite pose i had landed and it needed to be shared with all of you. i am my own director you know. my colleague once asked if he should tell me how to pose ever, to guide me and i said no. there’s a code in nature, in the wild, by photographers (think national geographic), if a lion is taking down a gazelle, even though it’s sad and we want the gazelle to outrun the lion and survive, the photographer cannot interfere because that is the cycle of life and the food chain and all that therefore, don’t tell raymi when raymi is being raymi how to pose. unless you want to be yelled at in front of everybody. the only time i’ll listen is if i’m making a fat chin face though then by all means, or if the lighting is bad and casting dark circles (or illuminating them) OR if i’m being paid on a real fashion photoshoot. gun for hire. flash the vanna whites aaaaand next scene.

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dear playboy… maybe i should just cozy up to holly madison in vegas.

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uhm, good one?

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this part was fun and cute and i think we were both actually secretly competing here but too shy to admit it.

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i look like my dad’s entire side of the family. totally.

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welcome to the sweat lodge. wanna hug?

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then we got organized and my shorts wedged even further into my butt.

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all pretending not to notice meanwhile russian nightmare is fully mastering the skill of not looking/looking (and simultaneously being a garden ornament statue) i bust him all the time he’s cute and shy around me, very polite. could probably drop kick a nuclear warhead i swear but around me, total f–ng puddy in his shy little turtleneck/t-shirt combos aw. maybe his arms are covered up and down in tats? one of andrew’s is (trainer behind my ball).

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third set of these you’re more focused and less back talky. well, not so true for me cos by this point i have exercise endorphins hopefully and then i ride that high and just sputter out nonsense and noises. like normal.

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raise your arms slowly and expertly and fire your entire body, the entire f’n thing i swear you will feel great and wonder why you worked out so sloppy all the time before.

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then i wanted to practice some hippie ballet.

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i zone out on my zune and practice future youtube dance vids.

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unflattering lighting a bit makes me look borderline cellulitey. i assure you i am not. the moral of this story is look at my body now thanks to TMR, soak in that definition and tone and i will only melt away more and more so. i might even do a cleanse mid-april. lots of changes ’round here i tell you. thanks for watching the lifestyle challenge with me, you can spy on all motion room going’s on on their facebook page. you can make fun of me in pics there. i’m not tagged in anything so go nuts.

TGIF BYE!

+++

email from an ex boyfriend of the day:

Hey,
I am in Bangkok right now at an internet cafe, and yet again. i found a traveler reading your blog.
I didnt aproach but just thought you should know.
Ur huge in asia.
hope all is well. My gallery in montreal opens in June. Make some art, ill give you some space there!!!!!

um i should post huuuge photos of myself more often wow fun! so maybe i will. hmmph. think of all the goodies i could go back and blast out super huge.