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i arrive to this. what hotel was i at? the thompson? forgive me, the night prior was sloppy and the one before that, sloppier. it was like i was on vacation in my own city. get ready to see me as a skeleton.

my gal jenny b. this hang was the second nail in the coffin of whatever bonds or sides one takes in a divorce, separation, you name it. we were both in the same position more or less. made amends. kind of really dig one another. lets do this.

i’m at my dad’s right now, i showed him some of these and he goes OH MY GOD SHE’S HOT yeah dad thanks i KNOW. christ. hahaha.

this night is how i became legit bredren with the sound academy. jenny had tickets for this dj she liked and so i didn’t bother trying to use any of my magic raymi beans to hook up the behind the scenes dazzle, so then i referred to the sound academy as the suck academy as a joke. then my broski was like yo dawg why you acting all messed up towards me and i was like yo dawg why YOU acting all messed up towards MEEE. we hugged, he said i can go to anything there ever like king midas, bing bang boom.

such a night.

it was like, walking around as a fucking torch. two torches. and have you ever been to the sound academy as a night club e-tard scene before? white strobe lights contact highs over and yonder. that scene in vanilla sky, tom cruise, the mask, the bizarre, so drawn to it.

my nails were bare for once. i might have subconsciously had them bare the night prior, britt’s birthday, at boehmer, my ex across from me at the huge group dinner table in the back. preferred bare nails.

oyster bay wine. look rob!

she helped me untangle my new vintage necklace.

pre-drank dance party on.

i feel like i felt so young then and right now i feel ancient. wah.

nice eyes! it’s safe to show this shit now cos in retrospect, babetastical!

skeletor at your fucking service.

my dad laughed at these and said and you weren’t even working out then. yeah thanks.

jenny melted my heart and soul. we had one goal in mind, to totally throw caution to the retarded f–ing wind.

i need to get a bottle of this.

these were the shoes she was wearing this night. i think we’re the same height, one is slightly taller than the other. might be her. anyway, she made fun of my socks and said men love toe cleavage so i left them at the hotel. with my camera. we only have pics of our hotel party.

this is the french whore outfit i wore in niagara falls on my 27th birthday.

just might be the skinniest i’ve been ever.

extremely agile too. i did a lot of yoga stretching at the red flag’s apartment and wii fit plus being skinnier just made me more energetic.

i’m sure i posted the betters of these before. but not all. more so just looked at them. offices at night are so 1980s.

was hoping to catch a prevert. i said it that way purposely. i can’t tell you why though.

strawberry shortcake sweetiepie barf much.

i love this girl. it angers so many too. isn’t that great!


that weed box of mine? gone. got it in the once at SA. second time at spoon? no chance. too cocky. learned lesson.

sexy time!

this is the stretching i did all the time. stoned. so good. magical stuff that stuff is. epic bangs much? much much? sorry i’ll stop!


so cute. do not deny the cute. you must get a scoop, to scoop the cute.

wow look what i can do!

eight hundred million dollar pizza. i was like dude i’m hungry but i can just starve i don’t wanna pay for this shit and she’s all money isn’t an issue. order up! jenny was also quoting ke$ha rhymes the whole time, tik tok, and it kept blaring on the hotel clock radio.

we got right retarded. with all due respect.

see how my bangs and top are platinum and the ends more brassy? that’s why i cut my hair. i wanted platinum only. despite jenny saying i won in the hair department.


RIP little weed box packed with amazing sess and one hitter.

boutique hotels just beg to be dabauched all up in.


miss my hat.

dressed to kill.

yummy. you’ve come to the right place.

the sign said no vacancies but she knew a way in.

and then we were at the central and black out ate veggie burgers and didn’t pay. look how miserable those girls are near us. aw. central dude staff loved jenny.

back to the hotel

hot messes. coming right up.

drunk haggling with the cab. this night was like $300 easily. cabs being half of it. go big or go homo.

that would be my drunk vortex sir minx-a-lot face.

these are the best shoes i ever bought.

our cabbie was trying to fuck with us too. i pretended we were both vancouver tourists he immediately tried to loop-dee-loo wild goose chase us and i snapped, oh no you don’t and he knew right away i busted him. meanwhile jenny’s feet are on the ceiling of the taxi.

amazing specimens at play.

jenny would be my one shit show wild bender friend and i am that to her. guys have a bro like this you know right. you tell each other month’s in advance a general zone of incoming to prepare one another for the impending hours of pedal to the shit show metal.

we made it to the hotel and lying in her bed completely blitzkrieged before the spins could even try to take effect i was in a cab off to the red flag’s before either of us could even get near the possibility of ridiculous sloppiness we might both regret and thus not be each other’s hurricane suicide blond.

i woke up like this, (no in his bed) and it took me awhile to piece back my night and figure out how the hell i had gotten there. i spent the day watching precious and being nursed back to health then went back to normal eventually throughout the week.

this concludes your retro raymi report.



  1. AMAZING writing. Best stream of consciousness since James Joyce. I’m crying right now – you fucking professional yarn spinner. Amazing, amazing.

  2. retarded flickr email regarding these photos:


    hi ???

    hey, i really like your photos . looks like u have a lot of fun. anyway there are some pics you posted 02/25/2011 with pink colored nail polish, i was wondering if you would take some more of your hands and feet in that color IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL. looks great on you and friend.

    thanks sean

  3. Hahaha

    I wonder did Sean really think he was being smooth with his round about request for foot fetish pics. I mean he has a foot fetish so I guess questioning his judgement is pretty redundant. But I agree great colour makes me think of 1994 and the hay day of fluorescent awesomeness.

    In Living Colour

  4. oh those crazy flickr foot fetish people. love that nailpolish (I have a nailpolish fetish, I’m not ashamed). lesbian comment of the (minute): you two looked EXCELLENT.

  5. speaking of flickr freaks, have you ever noticed how it’s the same two or three weirdos that always seem to favourite every photo of yours where you’re showing even the tiniest bit of naked flesh? kind of creepy.

  6. Pure awesomeness. No jog makes me happier than a memory one.
    Did that even make sense? Whatever, you get it.
    Miss you. Kiss kiss. xo

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