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i’m not crazy i’m just smarter than you

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“you are all pompous degenerates”

About Me

i have dated too many of you and neither of us fit the bill for the other.

there is a fleet of serial daters, the lot of us, we are all on this site because we are inherently flawed or just too picky. the older you get the harder this is. i for one am not willing to settle but this doesn’t mean i am difficult or a challenge, too set in my ways, or “intimidating” despite what every person i know tells me. haha.

i typically am an adapter. i was in a long term over a year ago for many years and then we were engaged. so i know i am not completely awful as i was ring worthy. i can be arm candy, your conspirator, gatherer, your loyal old fashioned lady.

i’m pretty smart (but i say stupid things often, endearing things that will make you feel like a man) and i enjoy to pose as an independent type though really i prefer relationships. we can blend our worlds together, nothing needs to be compromised, you don’t stop your life just because you fall in love though if yer keen on running away and dropping off together for a lust stint, game on.

i am a dreamer and a muse. i am witty and sharp. i have quirks. i can “play the game”. i do not cheat. i can be selfish but i can also go the distance. i am dependable and i hope i ace this job interview.

speaking of, my internet-related job is blogging. i say that with zero sheepishness attached. i hustle my ass off and lead a very charmed life because of it. i have access to lots of great stuff and experiences and am tired of bestowing it on my loser friends.

i have a thing for yuppie scum. hipsters. aged rockers. controlling men. unstable dudes. jocks. slumming it. making you think you have a chance when you don’t to avoid awkward confrontation and making you think i am in love with you because i somehow think that makes things better just to see if you are an idealist like me.

my older profile write-up made men write to me and accuse me of being “crazy”. if i were a man with what i had said prior (nothing out of the ordinary, just bare bones honesty) not one of you would say that, you’d simply go, oh, this is a man expressing his opinions of course, because he is a man. not to be all feminazi or anything but give the c-word a rest. your lazy intellect is showing when you go that route. i have demands and expectations just like you. i’m a catch. done.

if you like live music you’re in luck. if you like nice restaurants, that too.

First Date

we would do anything you wanted to do followed by me agreeing with everything you say and meeting your mother and washing dishes with her while you watch football and drink beer and then i pick up the tab.

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14 thoughts on “i’m not crazy i’m just smarter than you”

  4. I found my boyfriend on this site Plenty of Fish, but it took about 6 months of horrible dates with weirdos (and I’m a weirdo, so it takes a lot to freak me out). The first two dudes, after I politely turned them down, each sent me several long emails and texts assuring me that we were soulmates and that I was fucking up my life by not giving them a chance.. the next dude was nice, but he had this really obnoxious, delayed laugh. In the movie about 5 seconds after the funny part had ended, he would let out this ear-shattering cackle and the whole theatre would be staring at us.

    I could go on with annecdotes, but…

    Stick with it. Finding Mr. Awesome is like finding a great apartment. You’ve got to sort through a lot of dissapointing crap first, but it’s totally worth not settling.

    xo

  6. Heres my opinion if you want to hear it.

    You have so much going on with the creativity of your photos, it speaks volumes.

    So I would say much less in your profile because men tune out after too many sentences anyway.
    They are use to direct and to the point and not too bitchy.

    Try two different profile approaches and I’ll bet you get a better response to the one with the least amount of words.

    Don’t need a storybook , and if you do, keep it more of a mystery.

  7. omg, that was awesome. i feel like i could have written 90% of it. ha. if you get some decent dates from that i guess there’s hope for me too. may the force be with you.

  9. I want to hear more stories about Betsa’s laughing guy. That sounds like the most awkward encounter on Earth.

    /five-second pause

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

  10. I think that’s an incredibly clever profile but I kind of like your mom’s idea about doing a short one too–remember, men have the attention spans of ______ (fill in the blank!).

  12. im covering all bases. the photos, the intellects. if they’re not going to read it then they’re not for me. i am compromising nothing.

  13. Bodie,

    The same dude (horrible delayed laugh) also kind of weirded me out when we first met. Before we met in person, he sent me to his flickr page to check out some of his pics. I clicked on a whole bunch, from various vacatiions, ex girlfriends, you know, the usually chick curiousity stuff… Anyways, 5 minutes into us meeting in person he said “So, I saw you had been checking out my photos” and he even named which ones! Apparently with a pro account on flickr you can track who is looking at what and when. SO fucking weird and stalkerish.

    I mean, even if you’re stalking who’s stalking you, for fucks sakes don’t tell the girl about it on your date! Especially if you like them!! That was strike one, the laugh was strike two and three.

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