I don’t really know how to put this so I’m just going to start writing and hope it works out.

I’ve been reading your blog for over four years, introduced by Etienne, Emilio’s sister. I mean I could drop some names of people we both know, but ultimately I think it would be a manifestation of my intense need for you to think I’m worthy or whatever, so I’m not going to. And I don’t really comment on your blog at all, cause whatever. It freaks me out sometimes. So open to interpretation and can be catty and confusing. Not you. More the wackos, perverts and bored teenagers.

Okay all this boring shit doesn’t really matter – like how at first I didn’t like you and then next thing I knew I was checking your blog about two or three times a day and and how
now I’m basically fixated on the fact that I think you and I would have pretty much the best night of our lives drinking and laughing and breaking hearts while the sun comes up.

Just recently I went through some major changes in my life. For a long time I knew that I didn’t want to be with my awesome boyfriend anymore, obviously not because of how awesome he is, more about how I got together with him when I was really young and we’d been together for 6 years… blah blah blah. It all of the sudden became really important to me to discover who I am today, as a young woman, without a man. I think you know what I mean.

I want you to know that however cheesy it sounds, you really empowered me to make a pretty fucking massive decision in my life. Watching you go through your ish, day to day – with all the adversity and yeah, granted you’re not like pioneering Civil Rights in the deep South, yeah you’re living your life but hey, I get it. I think you’re great. I think your beautiful and vain and humble and nuanced and smart and making an impact… A true Artist.

I live in Vancouver now but I’m from Ontario. I was just in Toronto shooting a short film I co-wrote and starred in, and really was in cottage country for 6 out of the 7 days, but my first night was in Toronto. My best-friend/the director of the film wouldn’t let me go out – haha, she wanted me to have a good sleep before our week of madness. And all I wanted to do was go to the Central and fan-out on you. But I guess it was all for the best. Instead I’m writing you this email because, well first of all I can’t bring myself to get on my bike and ride to the Ocean. Tough life, I know. But also, I’m writing this cause how often do you get a rad email from a cool girl who thinks you’re really great? Not often as I understand it, and you know, why not tell people you think are really great that they’re really great?

Much love to you and I hope next time I go to Toronto we can hang. Might be moving there in the Winter. We’ll see.

Take care,

Jesus you just made my fucking afternoon. Send me your picture! I love dope chicks. Congrats on your life and film and leaving your man. Its tough being single but it’s an adventure. Took balls to write to me that way. Though im really not that intimidating.

Your pal raymi

katie looks like this! awesome!

do you know how much i get the i hated you then i loved you thing? stu and i were discussing this last nite. he broke it down pretty smartly. too spazzy right now to get into-depth about it but yeah i’m glad i’m liked now. everyone kinda hates me at first then they realize they’re being stupid and should just allow theyselves to fall in love. don’t fight it! ok fine. even though stew is gay he understands the sexiness of a woman’s androgyny, which i definitely border. i’m girly but i’m bro-y and i am gonna go out on a limb and say i feel that chicks are part attracted to me/that, intimidated by it cos they don’t possess the bro-gene so it’s like fuck she’s got that one-up on me that some dudes are really attracted to but also i am attracted to her too so it’s a double fuck and then there’s her blog showcasing the whole mental fucking thing. stew says it’s clear that i want a man by looking at my blog and that maybe other chicks see it too and so they see competition? when really it’s not it’s just my life on display, not like beating you over the head with GIVE ME YOUR HUSBANDS it’s just oh fuck another day another stupid thing i did and now here i am complaining about it insert 50 photos of myself in a bikini top press send. i dunno. half the chicks whom i’ve had passive aggressive relationships with eventually get slaughtered and pounce me. i’ve bagged many babes is what i’m saying. so it kinda makes sense in a fucked up way. i can turn the sexy off and on like that. usually it’s off but still present, can’t help it.

from one dreamy motherfucker to another, happy sunday.

and i was in the darkness so darkness i became

welcome to the burlington times. today’s headline: NOTHING IS GOING ON. hahahahha.

does my tattoo look like a bratz doll to you? someone said that at the bar once and i almost brained them. another one i’ve gotten is betty boop. how lazy are these people? some chicks know it’s a blythe doll though, once they realize that they become nicer to me cos they learn that i reside in the upper echelon area of cool.

prepare thyself for a gritty bitchy blog post, rife with snark. this computer is slow as shit and my brain is clocking 150km/hr i am beyond under-stimulated. i’ll take it out on the blog. if you could see how much my bangs are sticking straight up on end right now from frustration a la that scene in tommy boy when farley loses it in the office of the potential break pad buying client you would laugh until you died. as for me i simply just want to die as this is hyper-annoying i can’t tell you how little i’ve accomplished since sitting down at this thing.

gwen stefani doll has the same stupid haircut i have WAY TO RUIN SUMMER IDIOT.

i’ve been prepared to tan for the last three hours. have i done that yet? ugh.

page three spread of the burlington beat. still pretentious kitchen life. this was funny to me last nite in a red wine buzz overtired tequila soda vortex. i woke up hung today and i barely drank last nite i guess it’s residual hangover from p&l nite. i think eating like a rabbit isn’t a very good base. who cares guy this trick is leaning the fuck out.


my brother’s gf made a comment about my 3/4 face giving poses. says she noticed that i do that a lot. oh, hmm, really. detected a little borderline snark there. should i mug shot pose or vamp, what do you enjoy looking at more? it’s all moot anyway as i look stupid as fuck in this photo.

dinner. people are endlessly amused by my eating selections. and repulsed.

yesterday’s pre-workout intake. fascinating i know. i do the tuna salad so often i can tell the difference between every batch they make. this one was good cos it was very low on mayo. the first time i bought some it was like hi can i have 150 grams of mayonnaise thanks!

how i look without lovehandles being smothered (camouflaged) by shorts. i had epic cramps and was beastly menstrual bloated, the abdominal machine took care of my cramps. i bike half naked to torture myself and inspire myself to get fit. like, if i want to look hot and ripped naked then i have to bike naked. it’s punishment for getting blubbery. also i sweat profusely by the time i get to the gym there is no point in wearing a shirt AND free bike tan multi-task. i think i have to invest in some legitimate workout clothes a la lululemon which will be me eating words like crazy. if you’ve been following along for years then you’ll know i have made an ass ton of dickhead lululemon jokes before. anyway i’ve lost five pounds of real weight not just fluke somehow woke up lighter weight and then was heavy again at the end of the night, you know what i mean? hopefully because i sure as hell don’t.

tweeted this a bunch already. i’m in this week’s NOW go get a copy or like fifty and make a raymi collage. melodie’s photo is beside mine too and she looks so beautiful i want to barf.

how many name droppers does it take to fill parts & labour? zero because all the name dropping happens on the sidewalk out front while your eyeballs roll back in their sockets.

hailey is the most beautiful girl ever and she’s developed an attitude and wit to her it’s awesome and going to be trouble. gave her a pair of hipster shades, black fakebans with hot pink sides.

suburban loungewear. i can’t rotate this because i am using an unsupported IE browser from when the internet was invented. i’ll hazard a guess that this shot is just as shitty the other way around, no mystery, no contest. the stupid strawberry shortcake shorts are from 69 vintage.

i love joan’s aladdin outfit (RIP) on the right. i forget what this occasion was, we went out to fancy dinner someplace.

my grandpa gave us money everytime we visited. he’d palm it and shake our hands or slip it in our back pocket. generous baller. miss him a lot.

i remember my dad going OH BOY when this was taken. vision of the future much? god i miss that backyard.

i look like hailey here. that’s my uncle mike. he was blasted and fell down each and every fucking stair for the big SANTA IS HERE reveal for all us kids. hands down the funniest thing ever EVER. he couldn’t see the top stair from the beard obscuring his vision then straight bailed like a boulder gaining momentum down a hill. he laid in a pile of his sack of presents at the landing while we all laughed our asses off. i am cry laughing right now envisioning it. the kerouac side of the family never fails to entertain. it was extra funny because he bellowed out at the top HO HO HOOOOOoooooooo screaming all the way down we were hyper and impatient for presents after dinner then it finally happens and he fucked it all up. my papa was pissed cos he normally did santa for us.

my mom let me play hooky from school (i was a brainer so it didn’t matter) this day and took me shopping. i remember feeling nervous and humiliated by this rabbit. i didn’t understand what the big deal was about NEEDING a photo with it. holy how things have changed. i’d be straddling that guy air guitaring with my leg in a photo these days. also, remember those stupid jackets?

retarded dowdy fashions. nice fake smile mom. those dolls were an expensive big deal, they cried when they were apart and laughed when they were together.

my dad is goofin’, mom looks bored out of her mind and irritated, i look like a brat and my uncle makes me crave fish sticks and scotch.

homestead cottages. that bathingsuit ruled though my friend brooke told me off about it once, she wanted me to wear my other one piece with hot yellow leopard print and zipper up the middle cos this one embarrassed her. i bet she was just jealous cos i had a stomach shower suit and her suit sucked. we were always in competition apparently. man i was so daft then, so gullible and genuinely nice, always treated like garbage by other chicks. thanks ladies! brett on the right was clocked in the head by a sideview mirror by a passing van and got brain damage. so sad. wonder what happened to that family. this guy was such a character, like, gonna do something, be somebody type. tragic.

wore my headband all hipster before hipster was hipster. i was chosen to receive that cheap stuffed thing cos my babysitters were the ones in charge of the gifts or something and i clearly was the awesomest kid in the naybe. that’s dale as santa, my first virginity-stealing boyfriend’s dad. guys, endless information. i got it.

big ass birthday party at the bowling alley. why do i always look confused about what’s going on in photos? i so didn’t like my picture being taken then. i felt ugly duckling all the time. that outfit ruled though. two piece. that’s kristi with me she’s practically family. our moms are/were besties.

uhhhh nice hair? i’m 6 here. almost missed this ceremony cos my dad got a speeding ticket. seriously mom why are my bangs so fucked?

i remember this moment and hating it, refused to smile, hugging self to try to be as invisible as possible. hated pictures. i am so shy here. that’s brett again. our families planned our week at the cottage at the same time. his sister lisa is beside him and the blond kid who looks like steve martin showed me his wang. gross. i had a crush on brett.

do you know the frandiscos? that’s jonathan in the beetlejuice pants and his little brother in the back mugging like a goon. the awesome what is me and my backward suspenders is pretty obvious.

jonathan and i were best friends from kindergarden to grade eight, childhood boyfriend and girlfriend too whatever that shit’s not real but anyway, i take credit for all the cool he copied all the music i liked. we got in trouble all the fucking time for talking in class and rippin’ jokes. each year we got placed in the same classes was like a secret burn on our new unsuspecting teacher, we’d sit near each other and hold court for hours. you know who invented the term “jonafran” i did, hybrid of jonathan and his last name.

ok wieners it’s high sun time. i wasted the day and this post sucked now i hate myself. going to the drive in tonite with ginger. so stoked.

a life in blackberry

look i am smart now.

i am malcolm x. that’s my scrapbook from england. lotsa winners in there. including james jagger’s (yes mick jagger’s son) german assignment drawings. he went to the school i went to in oxford.

not smart was almost taking my toe off last nite. horror show blood gore everywhere. party.

earlier my hair looked phenom. walked into redd hair and shannon was like nuh-uh we are fixing that right now.

took the pink extensions out cos the humidity and bike ride just wasn’t working.

finally checked out parts & labour. dig it. dunno what the big deal was/is.

was only going to go for ONE drink and then meet up with the hair babes at brassai but got shitfucked instead all nite. mer and steph showed up and we dance partied. scott was playing great music and the few songs i requested he played and brought the party up more more more. by the time whitney’s wanna dance with somebody jam came on, perfectly timed, people lost their fucking miiiinds. i give myself a 9/10 for dance moves.

there’s no signal down there so you’re forced to ogle you’re surroundings.

lots of awkward energy last nite. uncomfortably amusing. for sure.

trish scolded me for biking listening to music. blew past her two nites ago, she and her pals were screaming my name (love it!) and i didn’t hear. then i got home and all my texts bounced back so i guess that late nite jam wasn’t mean to be. check out her coffee stained cards this saturday at the parkdale bazaar, this girl’s a talent.

oh hi.

hahaha superhero stance. located right beside that stupid sports bar on king. shoeless joes? i say we go on a dive bender there someday.

arrived looking like garbage. of course my hair looked bad it was half wet.

i feel like every girl in the city has a dress like this.

i’ve been eating extremely healthy lately. i bet i’ll get mercury poisoning within a week from all the sashimi.

curry tuna steak. very nice actually. impressed.

ultra. so funny.

gah i know!

this photo is the epitome of summer.


this post is going to be a retarded mess just like me

i have zero patience i am totally on my period totally not pregnant (thanks mom) totally totally totally done staring at the flickr % number get higher in slow motion. bleh. last nite i went to ultra for my very first time. it was pretty much exactly as i expected it to be except better maybe. better because i got to mooch off my new friends’ bottle service perch, and cupcakes. bottle service can be deadly cos you’re essentially drinking goblets of vodka. the ratio is like 3:1 vodka for the lead.

here i am with my other new friend, a bag of cheeseburger doritos. it’s the willy wonka of flavours. when violet beauregarde has that gum she can taste the soup pouring down her throat. the distinct flavour of relish and ketchup and whopper and mayo all that can be detected. doritos’ best flavour yet i hope it sticks around long enough for when i’m skeletor later down the road i intend to eat a big bag like a roast beef dinner and chase it down with some OE and a massive blunt cos i ghetto like that.

aww look at my dumb little face i’m so cute and goofy looking all the time. poor face. it’s like never not contorted stupidly.

just let me get these boring body photos out of the way then we’ll get on to the better stuff. flickr was not co-operating yesterday when i was being conceited over my last post so these are the leftovers. i am really glad i started working out again its done wonders for my spirit. i biked/trecked across the city hmm lets see, from ginger’s where i crashed one way then biked to gym then home then to work then home again then to ultra then home again. i feel like i could totally be a bike courier, i motor pretty good, i ride my grandpa’s bike like it’s a courier bike and i see looks on the faces of members of the courier cliques like they’re all impressed.

i’m worried about winter and how i’ll get my fix then. i’ll have to join the gym in liberty village cos there is no way i’m biking to yonge street from parkdale in a blizzard. i’ll worry about it when the time comes. my body weight fluctuation has a pattern i feel. this time last year, well in september really, is when i joined my gym. i got ripped for a month then i moved to burlington once we split up and stopped working out but was able to maintain my figure. though i think that has a lot to do with the stress of the time as well as drinking less and taking up weed. hopefully metabolism bounces back once summer is over. hopefully i will get a lobotomy and stop worrying and blogging about this sometime, like, ever.

these are my new friends, courteney and jeannine the girl who gave me a brainer aka a super. i dunno why but i’m always slightly shocked when girls like me. like of course you should like me i am awesome but you know, it’s so much easier to be mean so i really admire kindness to dopes like me.

told you this post would be retarded. this is how they got uploaded. collingwood perfectionist neighbourhood at the base of a ski hill. ENTITLED!

you could cut my jealousy with a knife.


back to this bliss. i may or may not have polished off the last swig straight from the bottle. pure class. no point in pouring out a dollop into another glass.

body and dress to die for. she’s from oakvegas too. bet we know some of the same a-holes.

i looked like a total potato, menses bloated but under there is a four-pack. beast says i am ectomorphic. doesn’t take long to get me in shape. Ectomorphic: characterized by long and thin muscles/limbs and low fat storage; receding chin, usually referred to as slim. consult the almighty wikipedia.

ok more collingwood bluevillage now…

the olympus made it so for the first time in years there were more photos of others than of myself. i already have to give it back too i am fucking bummed and angry but i’ll get it back. i guess serves me right for waiting so long to start using it. maybe i’ll just go buy a new camera? no no no i already need a laptop that is priority one i cannot believe i don’t have a laptop sponsorship. you guys are fucking stupid and i hate you thanks for nothing.

to say we got a lot of attention this weekend would be an understatement. you should always somewhat co-ordinate outfits if you’re going out as a pack (of slut wolves) you’ll have so much more fun and you can fuck with people. the celebrity bug starts small then it takes on this crazy powerful form all its own, especially during a time when people are kind of looking out for famous people? like film fest week in toronto, rubbernecked like crazy in yorkville meanwhile you’re just carting crap around from whole foods STOP LOOKING AT ME YOU TOURIST! woah the coffee is strong today. i am also getting rickets from lying down in the same position for hours typing and emailing also maybe from all that biking and working out yesterday AND working AND dancing. i am a machine.

awww. what a great team we made/make. i want to brain the haters you stupid little kifey bitches you have no idea what fun is.

oh my god i love tourist watching and husbands with wives (WHO MIGHT BE BUMMED ABOUT THEIR MARRIAGES OMG BLOG FIGHT! CATTLE!) walking around in circles and bad outfits.

bailed on this place. line-ups i don’t do ‘em. the next place we went to the hostess was a total cunt. yeah you’re strung out stressed for the weekend but here’s the thing, if you work in the hospitality industry TRY FUCKING BEIN’ HOSPITABLE! so rude. and then they denied casie‘s photo id, well, were on the fence about it i coulda smooth-talked it into happening but decided you know what, you don’t deserve our money or coverage, you deserve your deep-set stress wrinkle line face to get even more tanned and leathery for next season until they fire you over being rude to every single gaggle of chicks who arrive without a reservation, the audacity. half the restaurant was dead in there, we could have sat at the bar. you made a stink about a reservation like a ridiculous cliche get the fuck over yourself. i could feel carly‘s blood boiling from behind me. i know we were being base-judged on how we looked. people-intuition is my thing, maybe more so than writing (debatable i don’t care i can write circles around you if need be) and i know i judge people like crazy but i’m certainly not blatantly upfront rude to their faces about it. sure yeah we looked like goofs but for all she knows we’re toronto’s media swooping in to show everyone how much of a good time we’re gonna be having in collingwood, and guess what we WERE so, way to blow it stupid restaurant i already forget the name of.

see how much of an amazon i am compared to these twerps? see how much i am ignoring my surroundings completely? actually i’m checking my bb for the photo that was just taken of us on it to tweet or preparing it for a photo to be taken to tweet. rinse and repeat 400000 times and jonathan blasting his head off with irritation. whatever guy, i’m working.

yup still ignoring. i love it when someone in your vicinity finally has the snark on ‘em to quip about all the photowhoring. i clear my throat and haughtily (justifiably so) retort, SHE’S WORKING. or I’M WORKING. then they shut up and i give them my card. it’s true. photos don’t take them fucking selves you know.


ever take a cute picture of someone so good it makes you fucking angry?

now THIS restaurant treated us right. they dragged every single heat lamp post over. smart guys.

gorgeous patio with a view of the shit show bar kaytoo across the way where we partied later that nite.

lauren is really good at pretending to look interested in what people have to say.

see? ten out of ten interested. me i just kinda ask questions, get the basic info and tune everything else out. haha can’t help it i’m a spazz.

fleet of foxy server men.

ordered us saganaki. those peasants never had it before.

and i chose the wine because i am a man.

yes this is good enough for me, everyone it’s ok, we can drink this. haha i love pretentious wine-sampling as if you can turn down the bottle. awkward.

no pictures? absurd.

to getting tanked.

yes everyone she ate get over it already some people are just skinny.

skip to saturday nite after party waaaasted.

check this smoldering brit, production manager of wakestock. someone haz a crush on teh raymz.

took ma weave out.

can you imagine if i wore my denim onesie too? i feel like the nite would have turned out differently. do you ever feel that way about certain ensembles you wear? like if you wore the baby doll dress rather than the paintsuit, maybe that bro wouldn’t have spoken to you?

wake n bakestock at the beav and bulldog sunday morning. hungstock more like.

holy shit dynamite asstock. i will be arrogant about my ass until the day it drops which will be never ever ever. good genes i got. ass tan lines maintained year round fyi. oh my god when is this post over i wanted to work out today looks like i’m out of time.

another vip perk, stretch limo golf cart rides back and forth on site from car to backstage. walking is for chumps.

i am such a bro.

casie and i’s famous pose. there are tons of photos of us since the day we first met talking to each other like this. if a spazz falls in the woods and another spazz is spazzing around how long before one’s heart explodes from adrenaline speed talking?

such a blob. back to nite one.

i love this photo. share the stage girls. no not them, you.

such a good look for you case.

mmmmmmmmomfg saganaki. i have a video of it being flambéed youtube gave it the finger cos i was doing too many things at once here i’ll try again.

how greasy does your face feel right now?

so dreamy and romantic.

i demand one hot boyfriend RIGHT NOW.

i have sorely missed arty pretentiously tedious photo taking.

flash try out.

still light out.

nothing like good wine.

pretty good prosciutto fig and goat cheese. could make easily myself though. foodies are such snobs i love it.

no one else at the table had ever had a fig before. guys what do you eat, rocks in a cave? holy shit.


carly’s pasta was really good albeit veggie. this food snob ok’d it.

treat us right, we’ll do the same.

to be filled with douchebags very soon. we line-jumped here too. telling ya, blond hair = skeleton key. maybe sailor hats too.

starbuck’s run. a girl with no shoes on (how do you lose shoes in that village wtf were you up to??) and mascara cry face came in with a friend wasted and sat down. very trainwrecky. casie and i looked at each other knowingly and whispered ok lets not be that this weekend hahahhahaa aw. i don’t think any of us cried once so that’s a win for sure.

i love o’nizzle. she’s 3 years younger, into bright shiny things like me and cos she’s younger more impulsive so she got to be bad guy and took a handful of these straws THAT WE NEEDED DON’T QUESTION IT BIPOLAR NEED THE END.

don’t have rainbow slurpy straws out in the open if you don’t want them grabbed at.

that guy seriously lectured her about it too. oh fuck off dude do you really want those straws back? we spent 50 bucks here now eat it who are you the mayor of straws?

smoke perch view.

can see the pool from here but the picture came out blurry. we made zero use of the facilities on hand, too busy to.

i smell another photoshoot on the horizon.

uh oh here we go now.

slept in my extensions from beerfest nite. totally hot and greasy. whateverrrr. casie has the same shoes as me and the same bed. casie casie casie EXPLOSION.

oh look we’re on a bed and we’re doing things. quirky things.

i love loft. is this a loft?

energy shots for the spazzes. necessary? i’ve been hitting them quite a bit lately.

another angle.

zeugari vom. when my three and a half pack turns into a rippling 8 pack i will try out these babes again.

bahaha lauren has my bikini bottoms in a death-claw grip. what a pervert.

i wanted all the suits organized like how backstage burlesque outfits are all laid out (ps that’s on hold for me for now if you were wondering i was just trying to manage too many things and i couldn’t kick my awful funk) they just look so nice photographed that way.

a bit overkill. we had 4 each. if it didn’t rain sunday we’d have worn more. i think lauren rocked a suit everywhere we went though?

wearing my old standby black reversible i bought in LA. when that thing dies i will be so sad. i should replace it now before too late. i work out in it too, bike all over city in it. it’s perfectly melded to my body.

casie get out of my shot!

ugh that bruise on my arm.

she was so happy to get her cub scout shirt back.

the smokahontas suit i wore the next day.

demanding spazz.

pillow placement is boss.

ok i’ve had enough of this shit.


speaking of, a dumpy chick screamed SKANKS! out at us when we were walking to the car after kaytoo. she scurried away with her boyfriend (who went home to furiously beat off about us) like a coward. oh no she did not just say that. i yelled back WHATEVER DUMPY SWEATER! she was wearing a green hoodie with the pocket fronts on the stomach so warped from her bitchy insecure fat stomach hands always in there. why would you yell that crap out at strangers? we could have chased you down and reacted all crazy. such nerve. such stupid hilarious nerve. poor girl.

ok bye for real now don’t hate me because i’m insane only because i’m beautiful.

we interrupt this blog post for a special news bulletin

my body is finally starting to look hot again! good news men! now i don’t have to join eharmony! and i might start actually being nice again and crying less! which is why i started pof to begin with and only checked on fat days! i can’t stop yelling! ok i’ll go work out some more now! have you tried doritos cheeseburger chips yet? they taste exactly like a whopper! you can taste the relish and the ketchup! i couldn’t sleep last nite so i’m hyped-up overcompensating because of it. my period is late as hell i think it’s finally coming today, i think working out confused my cycle as well as my iud? stress? depression? i work this afternoon i wonder if working out before work is a dumb idea? i still weigh more than i want to but muscle weighs more anyway also a nutritionist pill wizard hippie guy told me you have to build muscle to burn fat so i have to remember that instead of obsessing over the scale. i’m chalking weight gain up to the summer heat destroying my metabolism and soul.

watched cop out (tracy morgan/bruce willis) at ginger’s then shutter island. didn’t make it to the end of shutter island so don’t tell me what happens. cop out is hilarious and stupid and bad and good you gotta see it. tracy morgan pretty much ad libs the entire film. it’s essentially a 30 rock episode in movie-form with bruce willis trying not to laugh. stiffler’s in it and he’s fuckin’ great too.

zero sleep face. zero hanky panky face too. i have never been so celibate. well i have but you know.

ugh the rest of my photos aren’t uploading right now so FT. will sweat across city now. apparently it feels like 38 out there? part of why i couldn’t sleep last nite was cos i had a super tan during the day and i could feel it setting in to my skin, made the sheets feel like hot comforters from hell. i said to the tan chick in my fave lilitaly salon it was time for the T phase of my GTL and she went OHMYGODEJRSEYSHOREYOU’REHILARIOUS as i was dripping sweat all over the place. said there would be no L portion to the day though. i’ve been hitting jasper studios since i was 19. she was straightening her hair when i came in and i said busssssted. she loved my lifeguard shorts too. i could see actually hanging with her but i know it’s weird to ask strangers to be your friend like that. i biked home in the rain once the first few torrential downpour onslaughts subsided. almost died going down shaw, no brakes in the rain. cool safe! blasted the beach boys and the juxtaposition of the sunny californian lyrics made me laugh all the rest of the way home, also i was dressed pretty surfy too. parkdale approves.

much love, your favourite parkdale blonde.

she was heartache from the moment that you met her

felt a little old this weekend. it’s like every loaded parent dropped their kid off in every colour of the rainbow and sayonara’d on out of there til sunday. good thing teenagers are still in the too stupid and young stage to realize a fleet of grandmas was on their turf. i felt like i skipped my teens entirely, i missed out on a lot by chasing geezer yuppies in the city during adolescence so it was all new to me this wakestock experience. normal kid stuff like festivals and walking around with your hoodie’s drawstring in your mouth like a fucking retard, i never did that, so it was nice to roll around high roller style and take part. you know how everyone whines (wankers) about first class spoiling you making coach practically impossible to tolerate well it’s like that with all access at shows, and when you go to a lot (which i did for a time) if you have to spend more than 5 minutes with general admission it’s pretty easy to throw a hissy fit. so i look at festivals and shows like flights, but not as insane as some people i used to attend shows with. i DO enjoy walking around general admission area, that’s where the action is, while backstage is great and fancy and desired, it’s not balls to the wall cocaine buffets and tvs out hotel windows anymore. it can be a little boring and tedious. the strongest drug back there is a can of monster. pretty much. the thing that is most coveted about all access/media/photo pit is the special treatment i gather. you can be a complete somebody at some venues and a complete nobody at others. saw a few hipster-looking types standing at the backstage gates with downright sour looks on their faces, could tell they were used to first class concert flights experience, felt bad. nothing i could do though. in summation, if you’re old like us but missed out on youthy things (or wakestock didn’t exist when you were a teen) and want to experience this weird ride for yourselves, the way to go about it is lodge with a crew, no camping, hit the bars at night, fully immerse with your peers for the weekend ie. jocks. put a check on your laundry list of retarded shit to do before you die. i’ve never been to disneyland/world, don’t think i’m not going to hit that like a tsunami before i turn 30.

which is why the blondnoxious crew was welcome with open arms, kind of a throwback to the good old groupie confusion days. i feel like we genuinely brightened some spirits walking around and around and givin’er this way and that. shit show when the time called for it. too much beer though. sick of beer. i AM a beer now.

i got crabby right around the time before public enemy and was this close to demanding a lift back to home base. i don’t fucking care about public enemy i already saw them backstage got my photos done and done. realised how much of a magnificent idiot i’d be to pass on that and am ever so glad i wised up. that performance was amazing.

also can you believe we had our own handler/babysitter by the name of jonathan? hilarious. i bet he never wants to see blonde hair ever fucking again or be near a camera. what a trooper that guy.

ok i’ma blast this off then play catch up on some other things like going through a billion skateboard photos and sighing reminiscently.

flav did that specifically for me. was doing this whole staring up at the heavens getting into zen pre-performance mode then saw me goofing on his shit. nobody one-ups a hype man i guess.

oh and i had no idea the comments were turned off that last post before i went away. it wasn’t intentional so if you want to say anything go ahead, if not, no worries.


Hey Raymi,

Anyway, just finished reading your recent post…I’ve been really inspired lately by your candidness and honesty (I’m sure that’s what everyone says…oh well, I mean it). When I read the part about going to the movies by yourself it made me think of this short film from Tanya Davis (from Peterborough) that i think you’ll really like. I assume you’ve seen it already but just in case you haven’t, I thought I would send it along. I’ve been kind of enthralled lately with the act of taking myself out for a date (generally dinner and a movie every so often does it for me)…I find it quite freeing to go it solo every so often when surrounded by people who always seem to be clamoring for my attention (not to trump myself up to be larger than life but in a small town, it’s not very hard to do for someone who’s got an opinion and wears their heart on their sleeve) and…yeah.

As for all the weirdo web haters who judge you based on any negative connotation or idea that they think that they can connect you to, please know that (although i don’t know you personally and don’t presume to) who you are comes through quite clearly for those who choose to read your blog thoughtfully and without bias attached to who they think you are or who they think you should be. Hope that makes sense.

oh i forgot to link this, mel and i were in the globe and mail on friday.

carly’s coverage of day one.

off to the gym

i know you are patiently awaiting another update but i gotta go pump some iron first. ughh ok fiiiine i’ll hit one quick.

this weekend was madness. fun. exhausting. perky. great times and so on and so on. my flickr account went private cos of all the nudity up in it so you can’t even go snooping around on your own. i didn’t bring my ghetto laptop with me and had mad withdrawal, am behind for it too. feh. how many more blond pictures do you need to see RIGHT NOW anyway? i’ve been staring/cycling through the same reel of mental all weekend so it’s like you’ve seen them all already. i LOVE LOVE LOVE the new olympus and it helps you get away with more too as it looks oldschool and official plus a hot geek dressed as a rainbow flanked by three other disneyland rock of love chicks so i’m pretty much moses with it parting the red sea of your heart. i think i got brain sun booze damage.

bangs are so trashed.

lauren was a great bed buddy. i’d sleep with you again in a second.

how much did i love seeing allison? tons. i was thinking wakestock would be the last place to see that girl. newp. funny she had the audacity to call me a groupie. that’s like a fart saying you smell.

i have never been grabbed at so much before in my life. i have never screamed in so many guys’ faces before in my life. no wait a sec… but yeah, drunk jock tards see blond and they go all caveman like THIS IS FOR ME I WANT I WANT and they snatch at your hat and tug your hair and arm and then they get a nice solid thump and scolding. so much confusion on the faces of stupid. love it. well actually, i didn’t. people overloaded this weekend, zero alone time. which is why i went to a movie by myself last nite (a first!) and i enjoyed my company so much i might take myself out on another date (if i play my cards right). it was movie or dakota. i chose salt and the whole time i was thinking about how skinny angelina jolie is and it’s going to be fall soon so i better get back on the skeletor arms bandwagon before oprah arms hell breaks loose.

driving there was the best time. long legs bossy got shotty and did zero navigating for the o’nizz. our phones died a billion times. you can hang out with modern age chicks cos they routinely go silent whilst tweeting and drunk texting so really being friends with girls if you’re one of those trifling “doesn’t get along with chicks” bitches shouldn’t pose a problem for you anymore. no excuses.

hair extensions came out before saturday nite laid one more party on us. the heat was separating my true hair from the clips and i was getting annoyed so i went pfeiffer in scarface that evening to the curling club afterparty. i received a loser email from a “fanemy” about 4 in the morning referencing my weekend and hair extensions, don’t worry you will get all the attention you wanted from that letter in due time. all i gotta say is i love being a girl and being amongst girls who have your back who are equally high/low-maintenance as you, extensions or not, behind the scenes beauty rituals are fun. seeing weaves all over the place, endless hilarity. so hate all you want, you’re pathetic and writing emails at 4 in the morning to the party line you weren’t invited to.

oh my god i’m having fun what a LOSER capital L LL LL!

i love my #1 dad hat. should i give it to my dad or just wear it around him?

this fly chick was a maje fan of the blondarazzi.

sailor hats, trust me. if you want to be grabbed at 5000 times, wear one.

carly is the best little agent mom ever. she went diva a few times on other scouts sniffing around us. fucking hysterical. nothing cuter than a pink little cupcake beaking off.

not sure if i can pull off these shades i bought from that stupid in competition with ardene store friday morning after beerfest. i think i was drunk still.

i won the drink choosing competition (that no one was having) mmmmalbec.

metallica moment. you know you’re hot when you get picked up on the highway multiple times haha.

fierce fan. i thought they were coming over to hate on us. was super happy and surprised it was the complete opposite thereof.

wahh i miss my long hair. baby pink ones going in this week.

would i do it again? yes, in a heartbeat. bring on the next jam.

every time i turned around i saw this and it was the best. as was predicted, the catty snarky haterade came trickling in. some people just don’t seem to “get” “it” that it is possible to work and have a good time. that to align yourself with other girls doing their own (yet similar) thing can be (and is) a smart game move duhh duh duhhhh. everyone brought something to the table, opened a door, an opportunity. it’s nice to share contacts and network schmooze off the ones you met that wouldn’t have otherwise if not for your blog comrade and vice versa. it’s who you know, what you know, and how you know.

more coverage later. gym for real now. i can taste the abdominals.

just saw this status update on FB:



metal roof

wankstock blond jovi

so many more on my flickr. off to party with public enemy.

blond voyage!