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bro-ment

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Raymi,

I don’t really know how to put this so I’m just going to start writing and hope it works out.

I’ve been reading your blog for over four years, introduced by Etienne, Emilio’s sister. I mean I could drop some names of people we both know, but ultimately I think it would be a manifestation of my intense need for you to think I’m worthy or whatever, so I’m not going to. And I don’t really comment on your blog at all, cause whatever. It freaks me out sometimes. So open to interpretation and can be catty and confusing. Not you. More the wackos, perverts and bored teenagers.

Okay all this boring shit doesn’t really matter – like how at first I didn’t like you and then next thing I knew I was checking your blog about two or three times a day and and how
now I’m basically fixated on the fact that I think you and I would have pretty much the best night of our lives drinking and laughing and breaking hearts while the sun comes up.

Just recently I went through some major changes in my life. For a long time I knew that I didn’t want to be with my awesome boyfriend anymore, obviously not because of how awesome he is, more about how I got together with him when I was really young and we’d been together for 6 years… blah blah blah. It all of the sudden became really important to me to discover who I am today, as a young woman, without a man. I think you know what I mean.

I want you to know that however cheesy it sounds, you really empowered me to make a pretty fucking massive decision in my life. Watching you go through your ish, day to day – with all the adversity and yeah, granted you’re not like pioneering Civil Rights in the deep South, yeah you’re living your life but hey, I get it. I think you’re great. I think your beautiful and vain and humble and nuanced and smart and making an impact… A true Artist.

I live in Vancouver now but I’m from Ontario. I was just in Toronto shooting a short film I co-wrote and starred in, and really was in cottage country for 6 out of the 7 days, but my first night was in Toronto. My best-friend/the director of the film wouldn’t let me go out – haha, she wanted me to have a good sleep before our week of madness. And all I wanted to do was go to the Central and fan-out on you. But I guess it was all for the best. Instead I’m writing you this email because, well first of all I can’t bring myself to get on my bike and ride to the Ocean. Tough life, I know. But also, I’m writing this cause how often do you get a rad email from a cool girl who thinks you’re really great? Not often as I understand it, and you know, why not tell people you think are really great that they’re really great?

Much love to you and I hope next time I go to Toronto we can hang. Might be moving there in the Winter. We’ll see.

Take care,
Katie

Jesus you just made my fucking afternoon. Send me your picture! I love dope chicks. Congrats on your life and film and leaving your man. Its tough being single but it’s an adventure. Took balls to write to me that way. Though im really not that intimidating.

Your pal raymi

katie looks like this! awesome!

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do you know how much i get the i hated you then i loved you thing? stu and i were discussing this last nite. he broke it down pretty smartly. too spazzy right now to get into-depth about it but yeah i’m glad i’m liked now. everyone kinda hates me at first then they realize they’re being stupid and should just allow theyselves to fall in love. don’t fight it! ok fine. even though stew is gay he understands the sexiness of a woman’s androgyny, which i definitely border. i’m girly but i’m bro-y and i am gonna go out on a limb and say i feel that chicks are part attracted to me/that, intimidated by it cos they don’t possess the bro-gene so it’s like fuck she’s got that one-up on me that some dudes are really attracted to but also i am attracted to her too so it’s a double fuck and then there’s her blog showcasing the whole mental fucking thing. stew says it’s clear that i want a man by looking at my blog and that maybe other chicks see it too and so they see competition? when really it’s not it’s just my life on display, not like beating you over the head with GIVE ME YOUR HUSBANDS it’s just oh fuck another day another stupid thing i did and now here i am complaining about it insert 50 photos of myself in a bikini top press send. i dunno. half the chicks whom i’ve had passive aggressive relationships with eventually get slaughtered and pounce me. i’ve bagged many babes is what i’m saying. so it kinda makes sense in a fucked up way. i can turn the sexy off and on like that. usually it’s off but still present, can’t help it.

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from one dreamy motherfucker to another, happy sunday.

11 thoughts on “bro-ment

  1. Katie! How are you? As usual, I scrolled through the post to look at the pictures first, and it was like I was hit with a hammer when I saw a picture of you. I did my time in Vancouver. Hope you like it there. Go to JJ Bean as many times as your wallet allows; go biking in Port Vancouver at night; hide in boat hangers; you will miss that stuff if you move back to Toronto.

    Family reunion on Raymi the Minx. I am going to be in Toronto for a show in September. Maybe we can all be friends.

  2. Yes! Emilio! I’m great! Let’s email each other! Are you in the States??

    Amazing. September reunion. I can certainly try… What are the chances of getting Etienne on this bandwagon!?

    And Raymi, I totally get the I hated you/I now love you thing all the time too. From women. But I definitely seek those ladies that are not passive aggressive. Who smile at each other on the street and stuff. Cause it’s better that way.

  3. Aw I’m making a note to comment more in the future. I know you’ve got tons of fangirls out there like myself and Katie (who I don’t know, but who seems pretty rad herself!) and you should definitely be hearing from us singing your praises way more than all the whiners and haters!

    Cheers Raymi!

  4. I really hope you get to hang out with Katie someday, she sounds like a cool interesting, expressive lady, your type!

    And you’ve tapped into both with your feminine and masculine side, which is good.
    just don’t let it confuse you:)

  5. totally “hated” you when first introduced to blog
    now i totally “love” you.
    ( the quotations are because i don’t personally know you )

  6. Hi Raymi –

    Been a long-time reader of your blog-o-saga, and have to mouth off and say that this year has been the most amazing, basically because it hits home. I’ve had a parallel experience similar to what you’re going through now, but this is coming from the other side: I’m the guy in the equation.

    Catherine and I were in love – the perfect couple. Passionate, common likes/hates, popular, and so verrry comfortable with our situation.

    Till she told me out of the blue that things weren’t working, that there was too much she wanted to do with her life that didn’t include me. She wasn’t living enough for herself. The last thing she said to me was “Please, give me five years”. And she was out the door.

    I won’t rag on about how I coped – this isn’t about me.

    I didn’t see her again; even coincidentally, we didn’t cross paths. But, through friends and acquaintances, I heard she disappeared and decompressed for a while, traveled, broke her ass getting a degree, did all kinds of work, exorcised a few demons, and in the process, became a better and happier person. I knew this wouldn’t have happened if we stayed a static couple.

    Since the cut between us was clean, my head assploded when I picked up the phone 5 years later, and heard her voice. Apropos the situation, we made chitchat for a bit. Most of what I had heard about her odyssey was true, I mumbled a bit about myself. Then, she asked the inevitable: “Want to get together today?”

    Sigh, hem-haw, erm, (heart sinks), “No”.

    Why? Because if we got back together, even for a day, I could never survive saying goodbye to her again.

    And I’m too proud of Catherine to lay that shit on her.

    I see you, Raymi, like I saw her, and I hear her when you have to lower yourself to defend your actions.

    Go for it! Just be you, because you’re doing it right.

    Kris

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